Everyone’s had a few dates in their lives that confounded their friends, themselves, and even the sheer odds of the universe. Most of the time, people are good at trying to date within their expected league. They date people who are closer to their own attractiveness level – most of the time. But not always. Sometimes, people end up actually managing to go out with someone a bit above their usual class: beautiful, intelligent people who are well out of the most guy’s usual dating range. But what do you do in this situation?
You don’t want to scare her off, or let the experience freak you out too much. It’s important to remain casual, collected, and cool when you’re with someone above your station. If you ever find yourself dating outside your usual level, then here are some tips to keep in mind – you don’t want to scare off your date, especially when they’re so above what you usually end up going for. It can be tough to keep calm, especially when you’re with someone so far out of your league. But these tips can help you stay centered and calm while out with the kind of woman you never thought you’d even get a chance with. Here are fifteen things that every guy should keep in mind when they’re dating a woman who’s way out of their league. Just try to keep all these in mind when you’re on your next big date, and they might just help out.
15. They Don’t Panic
Okay, it’s fine. It’s fine. Just calm down. So you managed to score a date with someone way beyond the sort of people you usually date, and now every anxiety you’ve had since the fifth grade has resurfaced. It happens to everyone (Just remind yourself that everyone looks awkward at that age). And, look, getting the chance to be with someone outside the realm you usually expect yourself to date in is somewhat anxiety-inducing. It’s easy to let it freak every part of your brain right the hell out. So, it’s important not to let that panic overtake you. Don’t freak out, and don’t assume it’s a joke. Just stay calm, and just remember – nobody ever seemed cool while having an internal meltdown. Just because someone might seem out of your league, it doesn’t mean that you are not a catch, as well.
14. They Psych Themselves Up
Everyone has something to offer. Every single person has their own charm or style or look, and all of those help make someone attractive. Just keep thinking that, and focusing on the good traits you know you possess. Remind yourself that even if your date is out of your league, that you’re still there for a reason. Everyone suffers from doubts except the scariest of psychopaths, so it’s important to remember that you can fight those thoughts. You just have to focus on all your good qualities, and keep reminding yourself that these things are probably what made your date attracted to you in the first place. No one else is going to be your biggest cheerleader, so it’s up to you to rally yourself up if you need the boost in confidence.
13. They Play Detective
When you’re with someone new, it’s tricky to figure all the little ins and outs of their personality. And nothing can ruin a date with someone quite like unknowingly stepping on an emotional landmine. So it’s important to pay attention to what your date says and does. Listen to her and take note of all the little details. If you’re really paying attention, it’s possible to pick up on smaller problems before they can explode or notice something new and great about them. People respond well to people that give them all their attention and focus. It’s the kind of thing that will help you understand more about your date and can even end up giving you some new ideas on how to flirt with them and try to get a bit closer to them. Try your best to figure your date out, and the only way to do that is to be attentive, inquisitive, and curious.
12. They Are Always Friendly
It’s surprising how quick some guys will forget this small but important step. All the attraction, money, and talent in the world isn’t going to mean a thing if there isn’t any connection between you and your smoking hot date. As a result, it’s important to get to know your date, to notice what they like and what they don’t, and to be kind and generous. Sometimes that can be as small as asking what they’re thinking. No romantic coupling has ever successfully come together if the two people at the center of it don’t like each other. Kindness is more than just thinking someone’s cute and trying to get with them. You have to be a good person, and that’s the sort of thing people (especially attractive people) really gravitate towards. Try to always be nice, instead of trying to put up a veneer of kindness instead, and you’ll be surprised how much better it works out.
11. They Don’t Go In And Expect Anything
We shouldn’t need this reminder all too often, one would think. But recent events have reminded us all that a lot of people have tried to take advantage of their dates. So, here is a quick refresher: no one owes you anything. Unless you got a document that actually went before a notary, there is no binding contract on how this date goes. Maybe it’ll be awesome! Maybe it will suck. Whatever the resolution ends up being is out of your control and you need to accept that. There’s no biding law between you and your date, so don’t expect them to have to follow the rules that you set up in your head. Setting up expectations always leads to disappointment. And no one has ever left a date owing their date any kind of privilege or treat. Let things happen naturally, and go with the flow.
10. They Fight The Doubts
Before the date, during the date, and even after it, there’s one thing that everyone has to deal with: doubts. And having a healthy amount of self-awareness is good for the ego. It’s what keeps us from assuming that all of our ideas are genius, and every decision we make is perfect. This little bit of self-skepticism and ability to self-reflect is good to have. But it’s important to never let it get too much to your head. That’s the path of complete self-destruction, especially in social situations like dating. Don’t second-guess yourself, just be aware of the chance that you’ll be wrong. Don’t let your flaws or mistakes freak you out and ruin your future decisions. Learn from the mistakes and doubts; don’t just end up repeating them and ruining something special.
9. They Prepare For The Worst
It’s time to face facts. Sometimes, especially when you’re with someone that’s way outside your league, things don’t work out. And yes, it’s depressing. But it’s also the truth. So it’s important to remember that. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. This way, the possibility of defeat is just hovering over your head (you’ve accepted and embraced the possibility that it’s not going to work out) without overwhelming every other thought or belief running around in your noggin. Recognizing the possibility for defeat allows someone to think ahead and keep themselves from making the obvious mistakes a person can make in these kind of situations. The heartbreak of defeat won’t hit as hard if you’re able to recognize it even just as a possibility. Just don’t let yourself get caught in thinking it has to happen.
8. They Get To Know Their Dates
Actually learning more about someone is actually a pretty useful trick when you’re trying to get to know someone a little bit better. Crazy, huh? But when you’re with someone you feel is way out of your league, the best way to make a bond with them is to, well, bond with them. Don’t assume that they are so perfect that they don’t have a personality of their own. When they talk, actually listen and process what they’re saying. Find out more about what they want from someone and what kind of things they like. See if there’s even really a bond to grow, and find the things that really draw you closer to them. The best part is that learning more about someone usually makes them want to find out everything about you, and now you’ve got their attention.
7. They Aren’t Too Formal
Being serious and all is great. It’s the kind of attitude that’ll help get a job and stand out in the professional world. But that kind of attitude isn’t the best when someone ends up on a date. If you’re with someone who’s way out of your league, then it’s safe to assume that they’ve been through this whole routine before. And when you’re out with someone, you’re not trying to be serious or professional. You’re trying to get to know someone, to impress them and bond with them. Never forget that it’s just a date. Have fun, and be silly and playful. Don’t take yourself too seriously. No one is expecting you to try and make a formal proposal. So just treat it like any other date, and just enjoy your time with them.
6. They Respect What Their Date Thinks
When you’re with someone who’s a bit out of your league, it’s easy to get lost staring at them. Maybe it’s the eyes or the face or the body, but all the focus somehow can easily get aimed elsewhere. And that’s a dumb way to go about it. If you’re not paying attention, it’s too easy to lose your place in the conversation and find yourself stuck with nothing to say. And this could all have been avoided if you’d just kept some of your attention focused on her and what she’s thinking. So never stop considering your date and what they’re thinking. Sure, your date might be gorgeous, but she is not a piece of meat. She has thoughts, opinions, a sense of humour, and you need to respect her for all these things. Don’t objectify your date just because she is attractive. You can get lost in their eyes later, for the moment, just show them the kind of respect they deserve.
5. They Try To Make Her Laugh
Seriously, a good sense of humor is one of the most important elements of a successful date. You see it happen a lot. For example, some not-so-attractive comedians or actors somehow always manage to snag beautiful women. It’s not just their money or the job, though. A lot of it really comes down to their sense of humor. Even the beautiful people enjoy a good laugh now and then, and having the ability to tickle that funny bone can make up for a lot of the discrepancy in physical appearance. So try to learn what they think is funny, and play into it. Getting in a solid couple of laughs will perk them up pretty quickly. So just enjoy the moment, and have fun with your date. Make them laugh, and watch the wonders it’ll do for you.
4. They Don’t Get Too Defensive
When you’re dating someone out of your league, it’s incredibly easy to look around and see threats everywhere. Any person who talks to her, or any guy who even so much looks, can make you feel threatened and insecure. And while, sure, they might be checking your date out, that doesn’t mean the best response is to try and make a whole thing of it. On top of throwing some unnecessary conflict onto what should be a relaxing and enjoyable date, it also happens to be a quick and easy way to make yourself look like a possessive jerk. The person you’re with has their choice of options when it comes to dating, and they decided to take a chance on you. There’s no reason to jeopardize that by trying to project unnecessary alpha aggression.
3. They Don’t Go Overboard
There is such a thing as being too enthusiastic. Do you remember your younger siblings or cousins who desperately wanted to be cool like the older members of the family? Yeah, those energetic little idiots definitely tried too hard. That’s what you risk if you go into the date trying way too hard. That might mean you’re being too liberal with the compliments, or maybe you are overdoing it with the attempts to talk yourself up. It’s important to not go overboard, as it just reek of desperation and fear. It automatically feels like you’re clutching at straws and just trying to be something you’re not. And nothing is more of a major turn-off than the stench of desperation.
2. Confidence Is Good – To An Extent
A healthy amount of confidence can go a long way in this world, and that includes in romantic situations. There are plenty of times when just having the bravery to just be yourself around someone so beautiful can be a pretty attractive trait. But it’s important not to let your head swell up too big while you’re talking to someone, though. There’s no quicker way to make yourself seem like a senseless jerk if you try to come across as super macho. It’s all about finding the right amount of levity and cool, without making you seem too brash. Like with so many other things (especially when you’re nervous and with someone you really want to impress), it’s all about finding that right balance.
1. They Stay Relaxed
Here’s the great truth about dating. Every single mistake ever made on a date came from human error. When you’re with someone you find totally beautiful, that can be all kinds of tricky and confusing, even if the situation itself is civil and nice. It even happens to incredibly attractive people. If you’re with someone who’s way out of your league, it can compound the problem. Try to always remember this. A date is meant to be fun. Being wound up and freaking out can complicate and ruin a perfectly good date. So just relax. Calm down. Be happy. Enjoy the moment, no matter how fleeting. Your date wanted you, so just relax and be yourself.
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