Guys are not that complicated, and if a guy tells you that he is, then he is lying. When it comes time to get it on with someone for the first time, guys usually have two thoughts. One is obvious, and it is talked about over and over again. It usually goes something like "Man I can't believe I am going to get laid. WOOO!" The other thought is not talked about quite so often, but it is just as real. What is that, you might ask? Well, that is pretty much worrying about all of the many things that could go wrong. Are you going to turn her on, is she going to think you are any good, are you going to stay over- blah blah blah. The list just goes on and on.
The thing is, let's be real here. Sex can be awkward. It usually isn't of course; it usually is just a great time for all involved, but there is not a single guy out there who has not had a few bad experiences, and those things tend to stick around for a while and give one a little sexual PTSD. It is not just ladies that have a hard time around these things- guys do too. We are sensitive you know. Ha, just kidding, I almost had you. We guys are not sensitive at all. In fact every single one of the below fears has more to do with what we think about ourselves then what we think about the ladies that we are with. Still though, these fears are real. All of them. Some of them go away over time, and others just hang out forever, like a boogieman under the bed, waiting to jump out and scare you. Here are 15 things that guys get scared of during pleasure time.
15 Am I Going To Look Good?
It isn't just women that worry about this kind of thing, some guys do too. When it comes down to it insecurity goes across all different genders. The fact of the matter is, you are going to be taking all of your clothes off in front of some chick any second now and that is bound to make a lot of guys feel uncomfortable. Lights out are totally not an option of course, because although that might make you feel a little safer, you won't be able to see her anymore either, and what good is that? Some guys spend a ton of time working out and watching what they eat, purely for this one moment, so that when they take off their shirt they look totally hot. If you don't think that when the moment comes it is a lot of pressure, you are kidding yourself.
14 Am I Going To Be Good?
This is kind of the crux of the matter right here. While some guys will claim that they do not care how good they are, I am calling BS on that whole school of thought. All guys care. Some who are more experienced don't worry about the whole thing, and are totally confident, but quite often a guy can get really nervous about his performance. Let's face it, these things are not just about how you are performing with just this one woman, they are about how you view yourself as a whole. Are you the kind of guy that knows how to satisfy, or are you the kind of guy who is just going to try and fake your way through it, and hope she doesn't call you out on your complete lack of game? If you are the latter it can be quite nerve-wrecking.
13 Will She Reach Her Big O?
Yeah, we know, we get it. You know what you are doing in bed, of course you are going to make her feel right, and even if you don't, it sure is not because of anything that you did. Well, just keep telling yourself that. The fact of the matter is that if you really like her, and she does not get off, it is going to drive you crazy. Or even worse, you might turn into that kind of guy who is all worked up about making sure that she finishes, even asking her over and over again if she has done it yet. This is about as big of a turn off as anyone can do in any way. You now not only have a woman that you do not know how to satisfy, but she is also totally self conscious because you keep asking her about it. Congrats, you've ruined everything. The two of you won't be hanging out again any time soon.
12 Will I Finish Too Soon?
This is one that a lot of guys are totally worried about, and why not? When it happens it really makes a guy look kind of lame. And by kind of lame what I actually mean is really, really incredibly lame. Just picture it; you have been hitting on her for months, flirting with her, texting her, and finally you get to the point where it is just you and her alone in bed. Then, after a tiny bit of foreplay, the fun begins. And then ends about 20 seconds later. A lot of guys really have this problem, in particular if they don't have a lot of experience and get a little too excited. The combination of next to no experience, and losing it too soon can really bum out the lady you are with, and may just mean she is going to tell everyone you both know about your lack of staying power.
11 Will I Have Trouble Getting It Up?
Yeah, yeah I get it. You don't have this problem. You are all man, totally virile and all that- blah, blah, blah. The thing is, though, most guys have this problem at one point or another, and when it happens it really can mess up a guy's confidence for good. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that will kill an erection more than worrying about your erection. So there you go- once it happens you are caught in a vicious cycle. Here you are alone with a woman who you have wanted to be with for so long now, and now that the moment is here you are racked with doubt about whether you are going to be able to perform. And guess what? Once you starting doubting whether you can or not, it is pretty much a sure thing that you can't.
10 Will I Lose It When I Put On The Condom?
This is a big one of course. Even for the most confident of guys this can be a total buzzkill for the first time that you go about it. Let's be honest- just about all of us have been here before. The excitement is going through the roof, it is all flowing perfectly, then all of a sudden it is time to wrap it up, if you know what I mean. Of course this is the right thing to do, there is no doubt about that at all; we at TheRichest are all about practicing safe sex. Still, the whole thing can get in your mind. When should I do it? When do I break the flow? Do we talk about whether we do it or not, or do I just grab my wallet and put it on? And If I do that how do I know for sure she really even wants to go all the way? So many questions, so many chances to screw up...
9 Will She Freak Out If I Try Something Different?
This one is usually something that happens with a partner you have been with for a while, not one that you just hooked up with. Let's just say there has long been something that you want to try out, but you are kind of afraid that the woman that you are with is going to think you are a total weirdo if you ask her to do it. So what do you do, keep it inside and keep feeling like a pervert? Or do you bite the bullet and say "Hey babe, maybe tonight we could ask your best friend to join in?" Either way, it is something that is quite nerve wracking. You either keep it to yourself and get all nervous about when you might finally bring it up, or you actually bring it up and risk your girl thinking you're a total freak. This is what is known as a Catch-22, and a lot of guys experience it all the time.
8 What Do I Say?
What to say during pleasure time? This one throws a lot of guys for a loop. What do you say while you are doing the deed? Do you say nothing? Do you just grunt a lot? Do you compliment her and tell her how great the whole thing feels? Do you try and talk dirty to her? Well, here is the thing. Who knows? It all depends on the woman; and you are supposed to have the ability to read what she is into at the moment. Let's face it, if you are not even sure how to act while you are doing it, then it probably is not going that great in the first place. And of course you know that. So if you are thinking about what you are supposed to say, then it is probably going awfully anyway. At this point I would just grab your clothes, dress quickly, and leave as soon as you possibly can.
7 Is It Going To Be Totally Awkward?
Here is what they don't tell you in in all the magazines, websites, and movies that you check out. Sometimes the whole thing can be totally and completely awkward. Now I don't mean just before it is actually going on, I mean even when it is going on. Sometimes the chemistry is just not there, but it is way too late to back out. How could you possibly do that now? I mean, you two are naked in bed together, for crying out loud. At this point the best thing to do is just ride it out, and I am not trying to make a pun. This is one of the scariest things about doing the deed. You think it is going to be magic, that it is going to be so much fun, but sometimes it is just like being at an awkward family dinner trying to make conversation with that cousin of yours that you don't like.
6 Is She Crazy?
This is kind of a sad thing I am about to tell you. The simple fact is, that a lot of the chicks that are going to go home with you are kind of nuts. This is not supposed to be insulting to women; a lot of guys that sleep with a lot of people are kind of nuts, too. The type of person that has sex with random strangers is the same type of person that drives like a maniac and parties super hard. The whole thing is about impulse control, and the fact is, that lots of times you think you just met the woman of your dreams, and then the next morning she just breaks down sobbing and won't leave your apartment. Or if you went back to her apartment instead, when you wake up the next morning you notice there are pizza boxes everywhere and she has 11 cats. Scary!
5 Is She Going To Be Way Too Into Me?
This is always a risk that you take in these situations and is one that scares a lot of guys. Let's face it; sometimes when we get into bed with someone, we overplay our interest a little bit because we want to get her in the sack. In other words, we lie about how much we are into her. This usually works out okay; you wake up the next morning, you promise to call, and then you just never do and go on your merry way. But other times it does not work out quite that way at all. The girl you went home with ends up thinking that she is your new girlfriend, and either stalks you for months, or has a total meltdown when you let her know that you just were hanging out with her for fun, and the fun is now over. This can be a very real fear for a guy on the prowl, and is not one to be taken lightly.
4 Am I Going To Be Too Into Her?
Okay let's be honest, this whole thing works both ways. Some guys totally lose it once they get intimate with someone. They try and act all cool and like they have things under control, but the minute that they get between the sheets with someone they turn needy and kind of weird. So this is a big fear with a lot of guys- what do I do after I go there with someone? Let me give you some pro tips. Do call or text the next day, and do act like you like them. Don't tell them that you love them, don't send them flowers, don't get angry if they don't text you right away. In other words, don't be a creepy stalker type. Some guys can't quite help being that way though, and for those guys the act of pleasure time with someone they like can really be scary.
3 Am I Going To Be Big Enough?
Let's be honest here. If you don't have anything to worry about in this department then you are not going to worry about this at all. If you do have something to worry about here, then you are probably going to be terrified the first time you are with someone new. Now the size of one's manhood tends to be exaggerated, and a lot of guys out there are probably just fine even if they think they are way too small. The biggest thing around this is to just be confident about yourself, but of course if you actually do have something to worry about down there, nothing I say is going to make any difference to you. The best bet of course is to find someone who really likes you for who you are, as ladies tend to be less surface-oriented about things than we men are.
2 Do I Stay The Night?
This is always a bit of a tough one, especially right off the bat. So, you just hung out with a woman for the first time, and ostensibly you just rocked her world- what do you do now? Do you just roll over and pass out, while first making sure she has coffee in the morning? Do you get up and thank her for her time, and then just put on your clothes and leave? Or do you do the tried and tested "dying dog" routine? In this one, alcohol is usually involved- you wait until she is out like a light, get dressed quietly, and then creep out of her home to return to your lair. This kind of sums up all of the problems with this type of thing. All of it, and I mean all of it, is pretty awkward, and if she is at your place it is even worse.
1 What Are We Going To Talk About?
This one is possibly the very biggest fear of all. So it is over, it may have gone well, and it may have gone badly, and now you have to talk to her. Of course, if she is hammered, maybe she will just go right to sleep, which is obviously the best possible outcome, but if not, then you are going to have to talk to her. If it went well, at least you can just ride that wave of adrenaline for a little while, but if it was awkward, or even worse, unsatisfying, then the conversation is going to feel like the Bataan Death March. Hopefully you have good skills in this area, because whether you are going to flirt with her and give her some sweet pillow talk, or whether you are going to try and talk your way out of there, good luck. Because, man, are you going to need it.
Sources: everydayhealth, cosmopolitan
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