Oh, marriage. Arguably one of the oldest and most sacred traditions around the world, marriage can also have a darker side to it. In those happy ending movies, marriage is always the aftermath of some sort of romantic struggle in which you see two amazing people finally finding common ground and deciding to spend the rest of their lives together. What those movies don’t tell you is that marriage is not always this sweet, sweet road filled with love and understanding. Actually, marriage can be a tough path to trek.
You don’t even need to be married for a long time to find out about this. Anyone in a long-term relationship will understand that it is impossible to be with the same person for a long time without dealing with struggles such as unfaithfulness or even the fear of unfaithfulness. Some people even say that a marriage can be considered over as soon as one of the parties begins to imagine the possibility of their partner cheating on them. In a way, that does make a lot of sense. Once that trust starts going out of the window, it is a slippery slope that usually leads down a perilous road.
Back in the day, unfaithfulness was hard to find out about because people usually discovered cheating husbands and wives through investigations or word-of-mouth and rumors spreading throughout small towns. Nevertheless, these days cheaters have found a different way of being discovered. Texting. You better be ready, because these are some of the most hilarious texts you will hear about. And you better believe that some of these have undoubtedly led couples to divorce.
15. The Old Switcheroo
Sometimes a misunderstanding can be the reason behind the downfall of a long-term relationship. And, we would be lying if we said we felt sorry for this woman. It is kind of funny how sometimes the unfaithful people are so self-conscious about the betrayal they commit every day that they themselves become paranoid with the prospect of their partners cheating on them, or even deciding to leave them for some entirely unrelated reason. Case in point, this faithful husband was watching a football game with his friends at a bar (most likely), and decided to text his wife when it was over to tell her he would be coming home soon or something along those lines.
What he didn’t expect was that the wife thought he was breaking up with her via text. With that understanding, she proceeded to tell him she had cheated on him with his brother. Yeah, this would make for a great romantic movie, wouldn’t it?
They really don’t make cheating husbands and wives as they did back in the day. One common denominator we discovered while researching entries for this list was that the vast majority of cheaters who will be featured here are some incredibly stupid people. None of them, however, got even close to our dear friend Chelsea, over here.
Chelsea probably thought she was brilliant when she told her husband she was going on a business trip and would stay over in a hotel room while away. She even made the effort of sending her husband some very alluring pics to make sure he knew she was thinking about him. The problem was that the way she took the pictures was just too stupid. Unless she is a photographer, the chance of her carrying around a camera with a timer is zero to none. And even if she did, Chelsea should’ve probably tried to make sure her affair’s boots were not in the picture.
13. You Can’t Fix Stupid
The biggest problem with cheaters these days is that they are lazy. Seriously, is there anything easier to do than taking literally two seconds to check on your phone who you are sending a text to? It is literally the easiest thing you can do, and apparently something paramount to keep you from going through a lot of headaches and appearing on a list like this.
We don’t know if this guy was married or if this was just a girlfriend he was texting, but either way, this is almost too stupid for us not to show you a little bit about it. He did pretty well in coming up with an excuse. If your significant other doesn’t like your family, the easiest way to get them out of your shoes is to tell them you are going to do family stuff. But in a development we could only call poetic justice, this idiot did not switch conversations and sent his girlfriend or wife a text intended for his mistress.
Another thing we found out while coming up with this list and searching for new topics, was that kids are the ones who receive a lot of the text messages that end up in divorces. We are sure it wouldn’t be too funny for a kid to receive a text like this from his dad, but at the same time, this dude came up with such a hilarious comeback that we can easily claim that he owns his father for the rest of their lives.
This dad thought he would be the one making fun of his son since he had the camera code and knew that there were videos of the kid and his girlfriend doing the dirty. Little did he know that the kid also had some munition of his own. Seriously, man, if you are going to nail your wife’s yoga teacher, at least make sure your son doesn’t find out, or you may have to unload some serious cash to keep the kid quiet.
The quickest way to get yourself a divorce is to start lying about things. One thing people eventually find out about lies is that the truth usually surfaces at some point. If you are a cheating husband or wife, you are going to get caught at some point. No one gets away with it forever. This is a proven concept. That being said, there are some precautions cheaters should take in order not to get caught doing the stupidest of things. Let’s just enforce the idea that we are 110 percent against cheating and we would be glad if every cheating bastard out there got caught. But it feels bad for everyone when people get caught in lies as stupid as these.
If you want to go out with your friends or your affair, you should probably make sure you are not going to extremely crowded places. Better than that, don’t go to places like bars where someone is bound to recognize you. Especially, if the bar you go to could be a bar your faithful husband and his boss go to blow off some steam after finishing a long day of work.
10. A Family Man
You probably already got the idea that we love laughing about these idiots who got caught cheating on their significant others. However, none of the other catches were as pleasing as this particular guy. Not only did this terrible father cheat on his wife, but he also used the time with his mistress to talk about how much he hated his family. Of course, there is nothing healthier than telling a complete stranger with whom you’re having an affair that your kids are annoying, and your wife is “fugly.”
How perfect was it that the daughter “the annoying one,” was the one who received this text message? There is only one thing that would have made this situation even better and more hilarious. Picture a scenario in which the dad followed up with the bribe, gave her the $2500, the puppy, and a new white Mustang GT, but the daughter still went ahead and told her mom about the cheating. That, ladies and gentlemen, would be justice.
Another trend that you can probably tell from this list is that kids are savages. Almost every single kid we found who got a text that helped them find out that their father or mother was cheating on their other parent, proceeded to ask for hush money. It probably tells you a lot about your parenting skills when your kid’s first instinct after finding out you are cheating on your significant other is to blackmail you. Seriously, that’s how you know you won in life. Or not.
Either way, this made up for some hilarious text exchanges we can talk about. And, if we are to be completely honest, we really do hope people keep getting caught with these so that we have new ones to laugh about everyday. What made this particular exchange interesting was how much the dad lowballed his first offer. Seriously, $10? We hope that is not his first offer to the divorce lawyer.
8. The Breakup
This one is a classic. You seriously cannot tell who is the stupidest party in this union. First, we have the husband who clearly did not have enough wits to check that he was sending his wife a text that would make no sense to her. Just the idea of someone trying to break up a marriage via text gives us goosebumps. Even though we are sure someone, somewhere has already done something like this. Back to the point, the wife seemed very nonchalant about the text at first. Perhaps she thought it was a joke or something like that. Or maybe she just didn’t pay much attention and allowed it to fly by. If the guy had just let it be, that would have probably been the end of it, but he had to come up with the worst response anyone could give in this situation.
7. The Magic Horse
Sometimes people are not exactly happy with their relationships. This is especially true in the case of marriages and long-term relationships. We have mentioned it before, but it doesn’t hurt to repeat that after you spend a lot of time with someone, it is perfectly natural for you to grow a little bit tired of them. Sure, true love can surpass all barriers, but that aside, it is not unusual for people to find unhappy couples roaming about trying to fix a relationship.
Sometimes, husbands and wives try to find outlets so they can get away from their problems for a bit. In the most extreme and distasteful cases, these outlets can be mistresses and affairs. But more often than not, these outlets are hobbies or sometimes even addictions. Alcohol is one of these outlets. And it is a very popular one. Nevertheless, unless you have a very good understanding Mrs., an alcohol-soaked text conversation like this could spark a divorce in a rough marriage.
6. Another Perfect Dad
After spending almost an entire day on this article, laughing and sometimes feeling really bad for some of the stupid cheaters, we have come to one conclusion. If you are someone who grew up in the texting age and you went your entire childhood and early adulthood without ever receiving one of these texts from either your mom or your dad, you should probably call yourself lucky.
Yeah, it might be hilarious for us to talk about it, and maybe even for the kids to burn their dad for how stupid he was and how much of a jerk he was to do what he did to their mom. But this is an unfortunate reality. What kind of person complains to his mistress that he’s going to be late to their hotel date because it’s his wife’s birthday. Come on, at least be faithful for that one day if that is not too much to ask.
Another thing you have probably figured out by now is that we are super fans of poetic justice. And what kind of justice is more poetic than a cheating husband getting herpes from his mistress? You seriously cannot make this stuff up. That is the kind of thing people can only find in books, in the dirty, dirty parts of “that” section. This is some other level stuff. And yet, it might just be one of the funniest texts we have ever seen.
Just imagine if this guy did not send the text to the wrong person and it actually went to the mistress. It would still have been funny for us to see a conversation like that. But for him to send the wrong text and for it to land in his son’s inbox? That is just golden. What makes it even funnier is that the kid takes the bribe. #Hero
4. The Lucky One
Usually, when a father sends a wrong text to his daughter when it was actually intended to go to a mistress, he is in a whole world of trouble. At least, that’s what the trend seemed to be. What we didn’t expect was that we would find a dad like this. This guy might be a cheater, he might be a jerk, he might be whatever you would want to call him. But at least he is not as stupid as the rest of the husbands who made it to this list. Unlike the other guys, this dad made sure to keep tabs on his kids, which paid off in the end.
If he had not done that, the daughter would have probably blackmailed the hell out of him. But since this genius was cunning enough to get information about his kids, he managed to get away with unloading $100 and keeping whatever he knew about his daughter and her boyfriend to himself. Now we are just wondering what that daughter did with her boyfriend for that to be enough.
The other entries on this list are dedicated to text messages that possibly sparked divorces. But we wanted to make a little exception to bring you one exceptional text exchange between a couple after they started their divorce process. From the little he could gather on the background, it seems like the guy found out his wife was cheating on him and cunningly gave her the boot.
The wife doesn’t seem to be very bright, and she thought she would be okay since he would have to pay her child support forever. The only problem was that the only kid they had was apparently not his. So that was a no-no on the child support. And while we give a lot of reason for the guy to say the things he said, we just feel bad for Muffin, the poor little fella had nothing to do with it and now probably will have to live alone in the mean streets of wherever things like these happen.
The other exception we would like to make is one that doesn’t involve marriage, but one step below it. Before you get married to someone, you usually date for a while as a loving pair of boyfriend and girlfriend. Like any married couple, boyfriends and girlfriends also have their relationship issues, and a lot of the times these have to do with one of the two people being unfaithful. While being unfaithful in a long-term relationship that is not a marriage could keep you from losing a lot of money because of a divorce, it doesn’t mean you are ever going to come away unscathed from a betrayal of this kind.
That is especially true if your girlfriend knows exactly what your weakness is. In her defense, we also have to add that the girlfriend warned the guy about what would happen if he ever broke her heart. Sure, she probably had already seen him cheating on her, but still, you gotta give her respect, because she knew exactly where to hit. We just hope those were some great last 15 minutes of COD.
1. Game Changer
So, a lot of the entries we had pertained to children getting disturbing texts, usually from their dads. A lot of these kids took the high road and said they would tell their moms. A lot of them decided to profit from the situation and blackmailed their dads. But even among those who chose to go for the blackmail, none were as clever as this hero son. As a wise man once said, “if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade.”
While some kids asked for a new car and money, this guy decided to go for the whole package. And if that is not the perfect metaphor for making lemonade, we don’t know what is. Not only did this genius get a new car, a new iPhone, but he also got the one thing all of the other blackmailing idiots should have thought of asking when they had the chance. He asked for his girlfriend to be allowed to stay over. And now, the dad will have to foot the bill, or he is going to be in deep trouble.
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