Finding someone and falling in love is hard enough. It’s a daunting process of growing together and becoming more comfortable, among other things. But imagine you begin a relationship with someone, the gears are moving quickly, and soon enough you’ve become emotionally invested in someone new, but what you don’t know is that their brain is wired a little differently than the average person, they see people as chess pieces and life as a game. And you think you’d notice, but chances are you’ve fallen madly in love and probably don’t notice at all. You’re more likely to just shrug off her behavior entirely and continued being played.
After all, sociopaths can be deliciously deviant and exciting, well, at least they are at first until she gets bored of you and your relationship ends in a hot mess because that’s usually what happens when you date a sociopath. It’s new and thrilling in the beginning, but once she loses interest, it’s all down hill from there. That said, it’s not always enjoyable to date a sociopath. They’ll manipulate you, cheat you, and use your weaknesses against you. So, if this sounds concerning, perhaps maybe you should read these 15 Signs Your Girlfriend Might Be A Sociopath.
15 She Will Be Charming (Until She Isn’t)
When you first meet a sociopath, you’ll quickly notice yourself being captured by how charismatic and immaculately charming she is. You'll find her constantly flattering you, even if you've just come from a long day at work and your shirt is wrinkled and your facial hair is growing at twice the rate, she'll insist until she has you believing every word she says and you're eating directly out of the palm of her hand.
Not only will she be charming towards you, you’ll notice her charm extend to everyone else as well, especially the people around you. Her words are smooth and witty, and she is never stuck on what to say next. She'll focus all the attention on you and be pressed in your direction with a sense of the company that you’ve been looking for and could light up your life in all the right ways. But here's the catch, she can be very charming by being very suave and smooth, but only when she wants to be, and then suddenly the charm can be flipped off like a switch.
14 Lack Of Life Plan And Long Term Goals
She’ll have no real goals or ambitions because she’s been stuck on her “go with the flow” mentality. Sociopaths don’t exactly love being told what to do. They think working is beneath them, and so it would make sense that she probably won’t have a job… or if she does, it's one that’s not going to benefit her in the long run anyway.
A sociopath's goals mostly consist of how they might lie, cheat, or manipulate the next person in their life, so they don’t exactly have any real or long term goals. To have goals you have to work at them, and most sociopaths are only worried about themselves and destroying other people's future by being a scamming pig who ruins their views on love and relationships. They’re so consumed by the drama that fills their current days, that they won’t care to worry about what might come about in the future. They don’t see any importance in next few months.
13 She’s Mean
A sociopath won’t be sorry for hurting your feelings by being blunt, rude, and just downright uncalled for. She'll lash out you at until your natural love and compassion have transformed into overwhelming panic and anxiety, to the point where you’re always finding yourself apologizing just to be able to get back on her good side and move on. She will draw you completely unhinged, exhausted, and have you wondering where your old fun, exciting, and outgoing self has gone.
A sociopath will tear apart your entire life and stomp on your personal growth with no sense of reason or remorse. She'll have you spending all your money, ditching all your friends, and searching for yourself; all the while you’ll be blinded by the fact that she is taking the most important things away from your life by being the woman that you love… who doesn’t love you back.
12 She Always Has A Motive
Everything a sociopath does is to create some sort of rise out of you and see how much she can get away with. She wants to achieve a certain result by acting the way that she does. The number one trait about a sociopath is that they’ll constantly manipulate you until they achieve their goals, whether it’s to make you feel loved, appreciative, or completely drowning in guilt.
The bottom line is that a sociopath just does not give a sh*t. They’re hard to describe to your friends because they are missing the traits that every girl you’ve dated before them has had. You’re unaware of the emotional trauma you’re enduring because you think you’re just doing your best to love someone… but instead, you’re being played by a game you’ve never learned how to play.
11 She Moves Fast
When you first meet a sociopath, they’re determined to move things along extremely quickly. She’s convincing you of the things the two of you have in common and your undeniable chemistry, trying to prove how perfect you are for each other.
They’ll match all of your hopes, dreams, and fears like a shapeshifter. A sociopath can’t feel real emotions of their own, so instead, they’ve taken on the capability of mimicking your emotions, wants, and needs. She’ll imitate you to be the perfect partner.
You’ll be surprised by how much you have in common. You’ll appear to have a deep connection that nearly feels spiritual, and you’ll feel as if you’ve known her forever. So beware, a sociopath has no problem embodying everything you are, everything that you need, and everything that you want her to be.
10 She’s Always The Victim
They’ll tell you these incredible tales of childhood and neglect or how their exes treated them horribly to evoke sympathy and pity. And if you try to question them, she’ll deflect and try to make you feel sorry for her. You’ll notice that when putting a sociopath on the spot, they’ll deflect or blatantly deny their behavior and lies.
They’ll become dismissive and completely ignore evidence when confronted with it, and instead of addressing the issue, she’ll turn it around and make it your fault. Either you’re being too “sensitive” or you're “crazy.” She’ll condition you to believe that the problem isn’t how abusive she is, it’s how you react to her abuse instead. A sociopath will never admit to their wrong doings and work around direct confrontation by being highly educated when being deceptive and manipulative and maliciously twisted.
9 She Stays Calm
Think of it this way, if the world was crumbling down around your sociopath girlfriend, she would come off as cool and collected as if nothing were happening at all. Instead, she’d calmly be considering how to best profit from this current situation. It’s like sociopaths have this superhuman ability to not react to the most upsetting circumstances and behave perfectly serene.
Sociopaths are unnaturally calm and are able to do so by handling their emotions with a complete lack of reaction to carry on being disconnected and disinterested. And as a sociopath, your girlfriend is in constant need of incentive, which is why she enjoys every risky and hazardous situation. These emotions that she carries have damaged her nerves by completely dulling their impact on all troubled situations.
8 She’s Great In Bed
Your sociopath girlfriend is so good in bed because she doesn’t have any kind of insecurity or shame. This lack of emotion is surprisingly pleasant in the bedroom and she’ll make your head spin when you realize how much longer she can last than non-sociopaths, and it’s all due to the amount of energy she has to burn and because she’ll want to show off her sexual finesse to you.
Unfortunately, however, sex isn’t intimacy to your girlfriend when she’s a sociopath, she’s not "making love," she’s fu**ing. Plain and simple. And the chemistry that you’ll feel radiating between the two of you will seem so real, you’ll feel a kind of connection and compatibility so pure, it’ll have you begging for more. Which of course will fill your mind with deceiving thoughts of what a great match the two of you make.
7 She’s Emotionally Unavailable
It's no big deal lending yourself to others when they need a couple ears to listen to them vent or give them a shoulder to cry on, and it’s because we understand what it's like to be human and to need someone. But on the other hand, sociopaths don’t exactly understand this idea.
She’ll have probably implied a time or two that she won’t put up with people who cry and in the times you’ve found yourself vulnerable enough to do so, she’s probably told you how ugly you looked and wasn’t ashamed for shrugging off your needs. And if she’s the one who made you break down in tears, don’t expect an apology. Sociopaths don’t carry any form of compassion for people who can hurt and express their emotions, but instead, she'll become angry with you for being truthful about your feelings. She won’t open herself up to you for a very simple reason, she doesn't carry proper empathy.
6 She Has A Big Ego
Sociopaths have an inflated sense of self, so it would only make sense that they’re super egotistical. They are narcissists to the extreme, all sociopaths are narcissists and because of this, they all have a huge ego, with a severe sense of entitlement. When you first meet her, she’ll talk a big game about her plans for the future and how easily they’ll be accomplished. She’ll talk about past lovers and brag about how good she is at pleasing the opposite sex, and making it clear how special you are that she’s chosen you to be her next victim.
She will sell herself to you so well, you’ll desire her more with each minute that passes. And she won't regret for one-second, having had lied to you about everything she’s told you. She has created this tremendous idea of herself that was designed to make you want her.
5 She Provokes You
Nothing is more confusing than when someone is constantly showering you with all their affection and attention, only to quickly withdraw and apply it elsewhere. And sociopaths would be the ones to initiate this sort of unusual behavior because they want to do things that make you doubt where you belong. They’ll do so by throwing out bait, and waiting for a new victim to latch on and then dangle them right in front of you.
Then, they’ll be infuriated and call you jealous, after they were the ones who initially provoked you in the first place. She’ll call you clingy after you tried to reach out to her for attention after she ignored you for several days. Sociopaths will manipulate you into thinking your own human insecurities are the root of all the problems in the relationship, just to grant themselves sympathy and stir up self-doubt in you and make you unsure of yourself.
4 She Doesn't Have A Lot Of Friends
Sociopaths don’t normally have a ton of close friends who they hang around with, perhaps a few works buddies or a couple of others hanging around here and there, but they usually don’t retain any friends from high school or college, and this is a big red flag.
People like sociopaths don’t feel the need to hang on and keep people in their lives. They make a mess along the way and then they move on, then they’ll make a mess in the next place and keep going. It makes sense that they can’t retain friendships when they are as destructive as tornados blowing through everything in their way, and when they don’t have the least bit amount of remorse, it doesn't make anyone want to stick around. So keep your eyes peeled and pay attention to her "friends" and be sure she actually knows them.
3 She Hurts You For No Reason
At this point, we’ve established the extreme truth about sociopaths; that they’re really just self-absorbed a**holes who don’t care about anyone but themselves. And it’s upsetting, really, that someone would go out of their way just to take advantage of someone by manipulating them, and it’s not just to manipulate them to get something they want, a sociopath does it purely for their own sake.
So chances are, your sociopath girlfriend is going to be manipulating you just to see how much she can get away with, to see how far she can push the boundaries until there is nothing left. Hurting people is going to get this girl off, and she’s not going to give a sh*t how it makes you feel, what matters is that she got what she wanted from you and got away with it.
2 You’re Unclear About Her Past
It’s hard to get to know a sociopath because early on they’re unapologetically charming and exciting. She'll seem to have had a thousand past lives and amazing adventures that make you wonder how old she really is, but you start to notice that there's always a flaw in what they're saying or an excuse for really small things that wouldn't require someone to have an excuse for. Perhaps, they may not tell you who their friends are, or they’ll mention very little about their jobs, but they don’t want you to know the details.
It’s because sociopaths are trying to figure out how they can use people to get what they want, and if they’re going to do that efficiently, they're going to have to get more information than they’re giving. Pay close attention, because it could very well be that what your girlfriend is saying is total bullsh*t.
1 She’s A Pathological Liar
There’s always an excuse for literally everything, even small unimportant things that don’t deserve an excuse. A sociopath can make up lies faster than a professional improv team, their talent is impeccable. And they’ll be so quick to turn it around on you or blame it on others because it’s never their fault. Lying for a sociopath is the norm, whereas for a normal human being we know the consequences that lying will bring.
Sociopaths lie about anything and everything. They’ll make up radical stories, lies that are so vast they’re only bound to get caught later on, but will continue the lie until they’re blue in the face, because a sociopath would rather protect the lie they’ve told, instead of your feelings. She’ll spend more time rationalizing her behavior than actually working on improving it. Even when caught in a lie, she’ll express no remorse or embarrassment.