Do you hunger for human contact? Or do you ache with too much of it? Some of us enjoy relationships where the spirit-level of affection is evenly balanced. For others, the feeling of being smothered by an obsessed lover is a hard one to shrug. They are weighed down by their partner’s demands and attention.
This obsession business is a tough nut, though. While you should be flattered that someone takes an interest in you, craves your mind and body, and hangs off your every word like a big sweaty coat, there’s a limit. There’s only so much someone can be “into” you before it feels like they're overly obsessed with you. And it's this simple wonkiness which forms the bedrock of your anxiety.
While it can be hard to look past flattery and your ego aside, just remember that obsession can lead to something quite volatile. Obsession does not equal love. To be obsessed just means to be swamped by a fixed idea, a state of mind that won’t be fixed by you responding to it. So, with that being said, let’s have a look at 15 sign your girlfriend is way too obsessed with you. If one of these rings true, you need to get out and run for your life!
15 She’s Way Too Dependent On You
If you learn that all your girl does is mope until your next date, things are more serious than you can imagine. That behavior is just the tip of the iceberg. It points to a mind full of parched thoughts and worries about you and her. Her chafing may even suggest schemes are being devised to snare you even further in order for you to fill the gaps in her life. But just remember, it's not your job. And a healthy relationship is not altogether based on emotional dependency.
Perhaps you’ll notice after some days apart, she doesn’t look well or her appearance is messy. Perhaps you even hear from mutual friends that she's taken to her bed unwell. Well, it might be time to leave her there.
Top Tip: Don’t feel guilty if you know she hasn’t looked after herself because she’s too busy waiting for you.
14 She Depends On You To Survive
She may not be able to get out of bed until you arrive, but there is something more at play here than mere laziness and sulking. Your girl’s obsession is causing her body to fail. Fact. Just as we hear of people dying from a broken heart, her life force is fading fast without you, and she will surely let you know this at every opportunity. She may use well-worn phrases like: “I can’t live without you,” “I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you,” and “I would die if you left me.”
And yet, this is not a manifestation of love. Her obsession could just as easily be with that bike. The object of her infatuation is irrelevant.
Top Tip: Don’t think too long about it, leave and don’t look back. Perhaps block her on Facebook, too. After all, "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."
13 She Controls Your Couple Time
When you’re together, what sorts of things do you get up to? Apart from the obvious, do you both enjoy stuff that each of you like in equal measure? Is your couple time divided in half between a rock concert and a flower show or is it filled with flower shows? Keep an eye on these signs because such things may suggest that she has full reign over how you spend your time together.
And she may do this for three reasons. For one, she feels if she lets you enjoy your time alone, she’ll lose you. Two, she's imagined doing these things her whole life, just with you, or 3) Because the control she wields over you in these moments soothes her mightily obsessional mind.
Top Tip: Keep a close watch of your activities and if necessary, make notes. We're serious!
12 She Doesn’t Trust You
How many times have you been asked in the last week whether you like such-and-such? Or asked what was said in a recent convo with another girl? Have you been asked a million times who you're messaging on your cell? While insecurities will swim within the dynamic of any passionate relationship, you will know when her worry becomes an all-you-can-eat obsession. It'll become obvious, believe us.
If you have agreed to an exclusive relationship, then stick to it and don’t play games. At the same time, your other half must respect the agreement in place and trust you. If we don't feel like our partner trusts us, even when we're being good, we may ask ourselves why the heck we should be good!
Top Tip: Deal with this sympathetically. Don’t get cross. If you really aren’t up to anything, there will be no reason to react with anger.
11 She Takes Lots Of Photographs
Some people can’t get enough of snapping themselves and others. In our experience, the ones taking lots of photographs are usually females; in the street, in the bedroom, in the countryside, in the loo. A quick glance at Facebook shows you everything you need to know about you lady’s love of photography. Actually, Facebook and Instagram are the first places these pictures end up.
But enough is enough, especially when it comes to enjoying time together. Why does there have to be a shot of the picnic blanket, or the hamper, or even you sitting beside a tree? Is she doing it just to highlight to everyone that you're together? The answer is staring you in the face and pressing the camera button on her smartphone.
Top Tip: Be honest and tell her that you don’t want so many photographs taken. Then note how long she waits until taking another shot.
10 She Checks Up On You All The Time
One of the big giveaways that someone is too obsessed with you is their need to bully your movements. This business can make you feel panicky because on one hand, you’re pleased with the attention, but on the other, you’re certain stalking is illegal in 50 states. Sure, the Secret Service knows where POTUS is at any given time of the day or night, but they take an interest because he’s the leader of the country, and they get paid to do it.
Simply put, there’s no need for you to tell your girl where you are and what you’re doing all the stinking time! And if by not telling her you make her panic and fuel her attempts to curb you even more, you know you have a problem.
Top Tip: Once every ten times of being asked, don’t answer. Even if she asks in a joking manner, it's a sign of something more serious bubbling away in that cauldron of a brain.
9 She Drops Hints About Marriage
There is nothing too wrong with talking about marriage. For some couples, the conversation only comes up when you're both feeling like it might be time to take the next step. But if you’re less than six months into your relationship with this girl and she begins to mention the word “marriage,” you may be with someone who is overly obsessed.
We know marriage is a huge commitment. The younger you are, the more deeply you need to consider the reality of being someone’s husband for the rest of your life. You’ll end up knowing this person inside and out in every single way, and she will also be the only person you sleep with. Marriage may be a gift or a curse, but remember, it's only her obsession that is causing her to mention it now.
Top Tip: Whatever you do, don’t be pressured into getting married. There’s nothing worse than regret.
8 She’s Overly Passionate
Most of us want a passionate relationship full of fun, smiles, energy, color, and, of course, sex. Sex can be a powerful way to connect the two of you, but only if it’s done the right way. Now we’re not going to tell you how to do it the right way because that's something you probably should have picked up on by now. But one of the best times to gauge whether or not she is too obsessed is when she puts on her kissing face.
If you notice her staring at you as you kiss, crying after sex, or looking at you as though you are the most incredible lover in the history of mankind, she is very likely beyond being “into” you and dreadfully, awfully obsessed.
Top Tip: Tell your girl that kind of intensity of emotion is a turn-off. Go on, we dare you.
7 She Wants To Know Your Parents And Friends
“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,” said someone once. And whoever it was could not have better expressed the secret of a long-lasting relationship; to know each other’s friends is to know the many tiny, yet colorful, facets of your beloved.
To know their family, however, is a whole different ball game. And there is an unspoken rule, if broken, may suggest that the girl you are with is fast becoming fixated on you: a) you invite the girl to meet your family; she must not invite herself, and b) this will not take place within four weeks of the beginning of the relationship.
Top Tip: If she asks to meet your family — and by doing so she has contravened one of the rules — deny the request. Her reaction will tell you all you need to know.
6 She Wants To Know All About Your Exes
Talking about previous relationships can make us feel both awkward and uneasy. It's a dangerous step for any couple to take to discuss previous lovers since we may unintentionally focus on one person who was astounding in bed or was “everything I always wanted.” When what we really want to hear is that everyone before now has been rubbish — at everything.
A super obsessive girl may have another reason for asking. If she asks you about your most recent ex-girlfriends, she'll want to hear that none was as pretty or as passionate as she is. However, she will also want to know their names in order to keep up to speed with their locations and their proximity to you.
Top Tip: Don’t mention names or at least feign a poor memory — for the sake of the exes.
5 She Thinks About Your Future
Perhaps she talks not just of marriage, but of children and growing old together, too. Many women see child-bearing as their purpose in life at the expense of all other worldly pleasures. Many men, on the other hand, not so much. So we are instantly at loggerheads with our lovers on what perhaps is the most fundamental of human endeavors.
Although such conversations may be had over the course of your first few months together, they don't necessarily take place in the first few days or weeks of a relationship. If you find that you are being asked such questions, you must retreat gracefully, pack your bags, and leave.
Top Tip: Honesty is the best policy. Complain with your head held high that you are in no position to talk about rearing her brood, at least until you find a decent job.
4 She Wants To Control Your Feelings
A physical control over you in your daily activities is not enough for the banana-split obsession. She will try at any opportunity to devour your soul. Imagine you are sitting quietly in your sitting room with 10 questions running through your mind relating to how your girl may be too obsessed. Then she enters the room, and with a smile, asks you what you're thinking about.
But if you don’t do as she asks, her smile quickly turns to a frown. You are virtually ordered to tell her your thoughts and if you don’t, you have the prospect of a night of anxious-making strops. But she forgets that it's neither possible to know the thoughts of another, nor is it advisable.
Top Tip: Find a way to answer her questions that won’t incriminate you. After all, they are only thoughts. And in your head is where they will remain.
3 She Wants The World To Know
Since everyone has access to social media these days, it's very hard to do anything secretly. More often than not, an errant comment, tag, or post on Facebook will give the game away. This coupled with her love of photography is the obsessive’s need to broadcast to the world the status of your relationship. She will more than likely do so by posting a picture of the two of you on Facebook, changing her relationship status to “in a relationship,” and choosing the global setting. It satisfies her in two ways: 1) she has claimed you, and 2) she has warded off the competition.
Top Tip: It's likely she won’t ask before she takes this action. If necessary, argue that before anything ends up on Facebook or Instagram, you need some time to lose weight around your face.
2 She Takes Too Much Notice Of The Smallest Details
Men are constantly rubbished for their inability to remember relationship details. Forgetting anniversaries after years of marriage is a classic case that creates household havoc. Women seem to have an ability to remember the smallest details and this helps us greatly in our quest for a heart-pounding union: were it not for their elephantine memories, such special commemorations would not exist.
Her taking notice of small details, while not overly obsessive, is still quite scary. If she can reel off within a millisecond the state of the weather on your first meeting or the time and place of your first kiss, you may have found yourself a real-life screwball. Perhaps it's harsh, but what sane person would choose to remember those details?
Top Tip: Stand your ground in the name of common sense. Remind your girl that there are wars and famines all over the world.
1 She Cuts The Connection Between You And Your Friends
A big concern of someone who is obsessed with you is having you to their self. Imagine walking past a shop and noticing a Phat bike and how difficult it would be to walk away without buying it. And if you did walk away, you’d spend your time worrying about someone else getting their hands on it and riding it. The only way you could make that bike yours would be to buy it. This is how your girlfriend feels, but about you.
And yet, in civilized society, we don’t buy people to take them off the market. We, in one way or another, keep them close. One way to tell whether your girl is too obsessed with you is by her subtle tendency to cut your connection with friends.
Top Tip: Stay firm with your plans and whatever you do don’t give in.