Worth a whopping $150 million, Harvey Weinstein stands tall as one of Hollywood's most influential producers. However, the big fish landed himself in hot water once women started to come forward about his apparent abuse of power.
At least 60 women talked about how Weinstein had crossed the line with them (so far). From s*xual harassment to cases that were even more serious, the multimillionaire showed his true colors. And his disgusting behavior placed a heavy emphasis on these types of crimes, particularly in the film industry.
Even though the news shocked Americans across the United States, Weinstein's unwanted advances are far too common of a problem. People get taken advantage of all the time, and nobody is safe. Sometimes, the most dangerous predator is the one you kiss at night before you go to bed. Your girlfriend or wife could be the female version of Weinstein.
However, instead of waiting for accusers to come forward, you can be more proactive, like by reading this article.
15 Decline First-Date Shoulder Rubs
You don't need champagne and roses, but you and your girl definitely need chemistry.
And, romantic sparks need to fly between the two of you, especially on a first date. From holding hands to a steamy make-out session, you must keep the passion alive. However, consent should be a top priority. If you already let your date know about your boundaries and she still tries to cross them, then you need to cut ties. Dr. Loreen Olson explains how physical touch can be more predatory than pleasurable.
"It's a common behavior used by serial harassers. The shoulder rub itself, culturally, is perceived as benign. It's seen as a legitimate way to reduce stress. But a harasser may see the shoulder rub as a way of invading the person's space under the guise of 'let me remove your stress,'" she says.
14 Say 'No' To Drinks
Unless you trust your lover completely, then you might want to abstain.
Unfortunately, both men and women can fall prey to lustful lewd advances, especially when alcohol and drugs come into play. After all, predators can easily take advantage of their victims sedated and not awakened. Actress Kate Beckinsale knows all too well just how damning substances can be, especially when a 'Weinstein' is in the room. At the age of 17, the disgraced producer assaulted her.
"When I arrived, reception told me to go to his room. He opened the door in his bathrobe," the Serendipity actress says. He used his power to manipulate her and, as if exposing his genitals weren't enough, he also offered her booze. Thankfully, she escaped his advances by using the "I had school in the morning" excuse. So, if a date tries to lure you in with a Xanax or martini, just ramble on about your responsibilities...and then call a cab.
13 Avoid Meeting In A Private Location
If you just linked up with the woman of your dreams on Tinder, always meet her in public.
When you feel completely at ease, then you can book a hotel room for two. However, don't let lust cloud your mind; you don't want to end up in a compromising position, like actress Angelina Jolie. The brunette beauty, like dozens of other women, found herself alone with Weinstein in a hotel room. The situation quickly turned from awkward to alarming.
"I had a bad experience with Harvey Weinstein in my youth, and as a result, chose never to work with him again and warn others when they did. This behavior towards women in any field, any country is unacceptable," she states. Even though the statistics are higher among women, men are also used and abused. Be careful, boys.
12 Dodge Quick Commitment
Women want a Prince Charming, and men want a Cinderella. But, not by the first date.
If your woman continuously pressures you to commit only a month or two of dating, then you need to be wary of her intentions. You should ask yourself why she constantly pushes exclusivity, marriage, or children onto you. Even if the answer keeps you awake at night, at least you can make a decision about the relationship's future. Friday Night Lights star Minka Kelly would tell you the same thing.
"I met Harvey at an industry party. The following day, my agent said he wanted to see me for a general meeting. The location was set for his hotel room. He regaled me with offers of a lavish life filled with trips around the world IF I would be his girlfriend," she writes. Even though his generous offer sounded tempting, Kelly could smell the bull. Take the woman's advice. No matter how grand or glorious your girlfriend's promises seem, look past glitz or glitter. Look for the substance underneath.
11 Stay Away From The Too-Good-To-Be-True Girl
If you watched the movie Gone Girl, you saw Rosamund Pike as the perfect woman. She possessed beauty, brains, and class, yet her entire being seemed off. No matter how much money she made or quips she spouted, her presence just gave everybody (except her doting husband) the creeps.
While your girlfriend would probably never stage her own kidnapping to imprison you, you should still listen to your friends and family. If they disapprove of her, then maybe y'all should take a break, like Weinstein's own wife, Georgina Chapman.
"My heart breaks for all the women who have suffered tremendous pain because of these unforgivable actions. I have chosen to leave my husband. Caring for my young children is my first priority and I ask the media for privacy at this time," she says.
10 Leave The Woman With The Big 'But'
In a relationship, arguments and excuses just come with the territory. However, if your girl struggles with apologizing and admitting fault, then you may want to ask her why.
You can't build a solid trusting partnership when you're doing all of the work after all. If your girlfriend just wants to complain, cry, or pacify every excuse known to man, then you need to leave. There can't be a "but" at the end of every apology, not to mention sentence. Otherwise, she'd sound just like Weinstein.
When renowned actress Lupita Nyong'o talked about her own harrowing experience, the predator responded. "Mr. Weinstein has a different recollection of the events, but believes Lupita is a brilliant actress and a major force for the industry," according to his statement. He's right; she's a talented woman. However, his kind words can't undo his evil actions.
9 Pay Attention To Her Criminal Record
Like Dr. Phil always says, "The best predictor of future behavior is relevant past behavior."
If your girlfriend's criminal history includes anything horrific, like child abuse and neglect, then you should leave her immediately. You can find plenty of other women who carry a much lighter load. Not only will you feel safer, but so will your own friends and family, not to mention your children (if you have any).
Don't settle for just anybody, though. Otherwise, her criminal past might reappear in the present. Just look at Weinstein's horrific pattern. He used and abused women for more than 30 years. From luring unsuspecting women to his hotel to assaulting them in a cellar, Weinstein's heartlessness knew no bounds. If his victims stayed silent, he would have continued.
8 Watch How She Treats Others
While she may treat you like a king, how she caters to strangers on the street shows you her true character.
You want a woman who will respect others, as well as you. If she treats other people like dirt, then you should pack your bags and call a cab. She's not the type of woman you need or want in your life; she's the type of woman a Weinstein would need and want in his life.
With at least 60 women accusing him of harassment, assault, and even r*pe, the producer obviously treated others like objects. If he saw them as human beings, he would still be an influential man in Hollywood today. However, he lost his credibility as soon as the first woman came forward.
7 Go To Church And Not To A Club
While bad, evil, horrible people lurk everywhere, the chances of you finding the next Mommy Dearest at church are slim.
If you'd rather gouge your eyes out with a skewer instead, then you could always volunteer at a homeless shelter, animal shelter, or daycare. You can meet plenty of smart, beautiful women there.
However, if you go to strip clubs, nightclubs, or bars, then you might find yourself stuck between an angry drunk and a loud barmaid. The situation sounds as toxic as the people. And even though you might get lucky with the hot buzzed blonde, you might also get very unlucky with the 6'0" film producer who just finished his last shot...and last trick. Yikes!
6 Exit Out Of Fishy Dating Sites
Forget about Tinder or Bumble; if you're looking for a serious relationship, just make a profile on Hinge.
Unfortunately, the online world can be just as evil as the real world. In order to protect yourself, you need to enforce certain precautions, no matter how boring or dull they may appear. As you search for love online, you should avoid dating websites that give way to red flags.
You want to find your soulmate and not the next Aileen Wuornos...or Weinstein. In the same way that he preyed upon aspiring actresses, a woman can prey upon a man aspiring to be her boyfriend. Before you're reeled into her clutches, make sure you know that you're getting hooked. Otherwise, you're gonna flop hard on dry land.
5 Listen To Your Gut
Always go with your gut instinct, especially when you start dating.
If Chapman looked past Weinstein's fame and fortune, she would've saved herself embarrassment, humiliation, and heartbreak. Unfortunately, because she chose to ignore the signs, she and her two children now reap the consequences of his actions.
"She was totally in love with him when they met and the relationship was very authentic. But I'm sure it played in her mind heavily that she had to save the label. Fashion is a tough business and Marchesa has never been rolling in money," a source reveals. Chapman gave the producer a chance because of his wealth. Her financial needs outweighed her common sense, which ultimately damned her. She should've paid more attention.
4 Flee From Any Jealousy Streak
Even though Weinstein prided himself on his conquests, he'd probably raise Cain if he found out his wife cheated on him.
Hopefully, you and your woman can stay faithful to each other. People make mistakes, though. Sometimes, you just slip up. She might start checking your phone, eavesdropping on your conversations, and checking your car's mileage, but doesn't she have a right to be paranoid after you cheat? You betrayed her trust after all.
If you remain in a happy, healthy, monogamous relationship with your woman, then her acting erratic should jump-start your fight-or-flight response. Her insecurity will suffocate you, quite literally. Nothing's scarier than a woman scorned.
3 Get Away From Her Manipulation
Aside from his fame and fortune, Weinstein's best tool was his mind; he was a master manipulator, getting away with these types of crimes for at least 30 years.
While your girlfriend would probably never violate anyone, she could be manipulating you. "Examples of manipulation can include emotional distancing, playing games, not texting back purposely, being condescending, using s*x as a weapon, and, of course, using those big puppy-dog eyes," an article states.
If you notice your partner constantly practicing the tactics above, then you should talk with her. Ask her why she withholds "the deed" when you don't buy her a Gucci pocketbook or diamond earrings. Maybe she can give you an honest answer, but if she can't, then you already know what to do.
2 Stop Being Around A Victim
If your woman acts as if everyone else is to blame for her poor choices, then you definitely need to sever all communication with her.
You need someone who can recognize their faults and take responsibility. Otherwise, you are going to be blamed constantly. And her verbal assaults and emotional onslaughts will burden you beyond belief. You'll forever be trapped in the sunken place.
So, how can you make sure you're with a victor? Listen to the stories that she tells. If she's only talking about her bad childhood, unfit parents, or stupid siblings, then you don't need to listen to her verbal vomit anymore. If you want to hear bull, just pull up a statement or two from Weinstein's lawyers.
1 Surround Yourself With Stability
By living a peaceful existence, you'll attract zen energy into your life.
But even if you live your life like a male Mother Teresa, you will link up with at least one woman who's out of her mind. Just ask LovePanky. "A girl who can't stand a comfortable life full of love and stability is a crazy girl that you definitely need to stay away from. These girls are fun to watch in movies, but not so much fun to date," the magazine states.
Weinstein lived his life in chaos, obviously. He violated dozens upon dozens of women; his predatory compulsions knew no bounds. Individuals like him are dangerous, and they are also everywhere. Be careful about who you sleep with.