For all the ladies out there, if you were ever worried about your guy cheating on you and you wanted so badly for him to take a lie detector test just to catch him out...look no further. Below are some clear signs that he would almost surely fail a lie detector test about cheating. And guys, you should pay attention to if you're looking for ways to cover up.
Of course, if you're looking for ways to cover up your cheating...then you're a bunch of a**holes, but I just put the information out there. You do with it what you will, of course. It's actually pretty interesting how easy it can be to spot someone who is cheating without needing to take the lie detector test. All you really have to do is pay attention to some pretty clear and simple behaviors.
Hell, some people just tell women to follow their guts because that gut feeling is almost always right...I'm skeptical about that, but there are some pretty clear indicators. Mood swings are a big one. If he's accusing you of being crazy and/or jealous is another. If he starts hiding his phone conversations and his receipts from you...you should start worrying. Oh, and the lipstick on the collar is a pretty obvious one that he might not pass the test.
15 He Keeps Trying To Hide His Phone From You
This is an extension of a lot of the other clear indicators. If a guy is constantly turning his phone screen just slightly away from his girlfriend's view...there's something there he doesn't want her to see. It might seem like a small movement but it's a pretty clear red flag. Body language is huge and she definitely notices. I know too many people who have ended up with their phones invaded by girlfriends because the guy started slightly turning away or constantly avoided letting his girl see the screen at all. When they hit the shower though...that's when she pounces, finds the messages from your current "friend", and then it's all over except for the crying. So, maybe just avoid that altogether and be honest or F off.
14 He Talks A Lot About Janice From Accounting
If you notice that your guy is talking way too much about a new person at work, you might want to be a little concerned. She (or he) doesn't even have to be someone from work. And you might want to be even more worried if he's suddenly talking a lot more about someone who isn't from work. Where's he always going that he's meeting this other person? I think it's safe to say that he might not pass a lie detector test on that one. He might be a bit more interested in that other person than he wants you to know. So, let that be a lesson to you guys. You can't just go on about Janice from accounting when you're around your girlfriend. She is going to think that you're really into her and she's also probably not wrong. So, save yourself the grief and keep your mouth shut about any other girls you think are smoking hot at the office.
13 He Ignores You An Awful Lot
If you notice that your guy is not paying much attention to you at all...you might have a little bit of a problem. Of course, you have to make sure that this is actually new behavior. It could very well be that he has always been pretty sh*tty with paying attention to you. In which case you definitely have a problem but at least it was there to begin with so you don't have anything new to worry about. But if he suddenly stops paying attention to you more often than normal, I think it's a safe bet that he's either got some real personal issues he's dealing with or he's just not near as interested in you as he is someone else. That being said boys, make sure that you pay some more attention to your actual girlfriend. At least that way she might not suspect you have another somewhere else.
12 He Confuses Details Easily
Ladies, if your guy just can't get his facts right...like if he starts telling you about his day but he stutters his way through it (unless he actually has a speech impediment) and has to keep changing his mind about what happened...you might have something to worry about. And if you hooked him up to a lie detector right then and there, he may not pass if you started asking questions about cheating. Of course, you could just be dating a dunce and he may be confused all the time so do make sure that you take that into consideration before you start accusing him of screwing around. He might be the most dedicated man you'll ever find...he's just dumb as a post. And you know what? That's at least half of the male population anyway.
11 He's Got Lipstick On His Collar
Alright, look. If any of you ladies reading this out there miss that lipstick on your guy's collar is a dead giveaway that he's cheating on you, then you have some more serious problems than the fact that he's cheating on you. Things like being dumb as a post. But, if you do happen to notice the lipstick on the collar you can be pretty confident that your boy will not pass a lie detector test. That being said, if you happen to notice that he has lipstick on his collar that isn't yours then I think you can pretty well skip over the lie detector test and go straight to calling him an a**hole as you dump him out on the street (assuming you're at your place when you dump him). No matter which way you look at it, there's really no good explanation for something like this.
10 He's Hiding His Expenses
Ladies, if your man is really frugal to begin with and keeps a really tight lid on his expenses and his finances in general then you probably don't have to worry about this. However, if you are usually pretty open together about the way you guys spend your money and your hubby suddenly starts keeping receipts or not letting you see the credit card statement, then you might have a good reason to worry. He might be buying you something nice but, even then, he might be buying you something nice because he's screwing around on you and feels guilty. And if he's not buying you something nice...well, he might be screwing around on you and is trying to cover up the money trail. So guys...if you're going to cheat...at least be smart with your money since you're not being smart with your relationship.
9 He Says You're Crazy Jealous
This is sort of a classic case here. When some women get jealous, they do get a little crazy and if they have a gut feeling to go with it they will definitely start digging into your phone and email accounts and so on. Now, you can turn on them and call them crazy or jealous, but if they're right and you start calling them these things then you have got some serious issues. First of all, you now have a girl you're accusing of being crazy who is actually right which means she'll be even crazier when she finds out the truth. And secondly, you've got to sort out just how to cover up your tracks in a way that will make her believe that she is just being crazy jealous. Good luck with that one. I can offer you no advice on how to get around that issue.
8 He's Got Some Nasty Mood Swings Suddenly
If your guy is suddenly all over the map when it comes to his mood, then he's either synced up with your time of the month, he's become bi-polar, or he's trying to work out how to handle a relationship and a f*ck buddy. I've known enough people who have cheated to know that this is definitely a real thing that happens. The person cheating will often just be overwhelmed by all of the stress of hiding an affair while trying to make good on the relationship and doing even more because of guilt. So, if there are some unexpected mood swings, you might want to see what else has changed in his life. If everything else seems to be typical...then maybe start thinking about the possible reality that he's cheating. And I bet he wouldn't pass the test on that one.
7 He Randomly Really Gets Into Fitness
If you guys, as a couple, have talked a lot about getting fit, going to the gym, eating healthier and toning up...but have done nothing about any of that...then it should really surprise you if your boyfriend suddenly decides to go and get trim at the gym. It might be a different kind of trim than you think he means. He might be losing his weight while he's having fun in someone else's bed. Or if not that, then he may very well at least be trying to get fit to impress someone who isn't you. If he really cared about impressing you, then he'd have gone through with going to the gym with you or eating healthier or at least playing Dance Dance Revolution with you. There's a chance he wouldn't beat the lie detector with this sort of behavior.
6 He Has A Sudden Change In Music Taste
This is a big one. Let's say that your boyfriend just hates country. I understand that feeling as I think most country music is just a bunch of sh*t. Maybe not most, but a lot of modern country is at least a little sh*tty. But anyway, let's say that your boyfriend hates country music generally. But one day he comes home and is listening to Billy Ray Cyrus. Or Garth Brooks or someone like that. I think you might wonder what the hell possessed him to do that. And you'd be right to wonder. If he just tells you he had a sudden change of heart...it's probably because he now has a girl on the side and this song or that reminds him of her. And that's going to hurt. I know a guy who hated Avril Lavigne, but suddenly he really liked the song 'Girlfriend' (all about cheating on a girlfriend) because of an affair.
5 He Works Late A Lot More Than He Used To
It's probably not a bad idea to consider that he could be interested in staying behind at work for a few more hours every night because he is looking to get something from someone else that maybe he feels he doesn't get from you. Now, if he's a workaholic then you can't really blame him right away. If he's always at work late, right from the start of the relationship, then you might want to have a little more to go on. If he starts talking about Janice from accounting all the time once he comes home late from work every night, then yeah, you can probably start to worry and ask him to take the test. And I'm willing to bet, in that case, that he would not pass. Unless he's a really good liar or has multiple personalities.
4 He Whispers Someone Else's Name In His Sleep
This is a pretty clear indicator. If he talks in his sleep often already then he might say people's names all the time. But I'm guessing that if he's cheating he might actually say another person's name with a little more of a...naughty tone. Especially in his sleep. Because in his sleep he can do the things he can't do when you're around or what he just actually can't do with the one he's cheating on you with. Dreams are interesting and exciting that way sometimes, I guess. Either way, much like having the lipstick on the collar this is a pretty damn telling sign that your boy toy might have someone on the side. And chances are that if he's calling out another name in his sleep, he's not about to pass that lie detector test.
3 He Says He's "Going To The Gym" An Awful Lot
If your boyfriend suddenly starts saying that he's off to the gym but never really showed interest in it before...he's not going to the gym. Don't get me wrong. He's probably getting a damn decent workout. Plenty of cardio and endurance testing. He's just not doing it at the gym. He's doing it in someone else's bed or car with someone who isn't you. Now, to be fair, if he's actually talked about wanting to go to the gym and finally starts doing it and talks about the people he's met there and the number of reps of this that or the other thing that he's done then he's probably actually going to the gym. And good for him. And you'll know if he's being honest about the sorts of people he's met at the gym because they are unique breeds of people.
2 He Wants More Privacy Than Usual
I know a few guys who have screwed around and loved to spend more time "by themselves" whenever they could because they "needed the space" from their girlfriend. You know why they needed the space? Because they were definitely trying to just talk to the girl they've been having an affair with while still at home with their girlfriend. It's pretty screwed up actually. And if they start locking the room that they go off to, then you've really got to start worrying. They're either working on a very intense gift for you that takes many hours alone over many days to put together.,.or they're just sitting on their phone or computer chatting to their hot little fling. So, ladies, make sure you have a key to each and every room in the house or apartment.
1 He's Distracted During Fun Time
This could be a really horrible one. I've never really understood it. I'm sure most guys scrolling through this one are just happy when they can get out of their parents' basements and manage to get lucky with a lady in the first place. So this might not mean anything to you. But for the ladies, if you notice that your guy is a bit distracted during fun time in bed, he might be interested in getting in bed with another lady. This might become even more apparent if he accidentally calls out a name that isn't yours! Then I think you can be pretty damn sure that he wouldn't pass a lie detector test at all. Let that be a lesson for the guys here who happen to be cheaters. Don't go around calling your girl other girls' names. Oh, and maybe pay attention to her when you're in bed. If you're having it with two women, you may as well enjoy both. That, or stop being so greedy.