“In girl world, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total sl*t and no other girls can say anything about it.” For those of you who aren’t aware of the cinematic genius that is Mean Girls, one of the best teen movies of all time, this quote from it may be the most on-the-nose thing said in the film. The only caveat, they limited it only to women but in actuality, men can get in on the act, too. That doesn’t mean that the results are always glorious. In fact, there are some Halloween costumes that attempt to be sexy but are anything but. Whether the results are sad, weird, off-putting, or just plain gross, whatever the reason, we sacrificed our time trying to track it down. After all of that research, we put together the ultimate list, in our minds, of the biggest fails when it comes to seductive Halloween costumes.
When putting together this list, we had one precept in mind above all others; we’re not here to body shame. Finding folks who made earnest attempts to drape themselves in Halloween sexuality that some have bodies that they don’t want to see exposed will not be found here. Instead, we looked for sexualized Halloween costume concepts that were ill-advised, costumes that are ill-fitting, or that should have been left on the drawing board. If that sounds great to you, and we think you’d have to be a party pooper for it not to, then keep reading.
14 A Hamburger
Sometimes you see a costume and you just have to wonder, who comes up with this crap? You can just imagine the people who were put in charge of coming up with sexy women costumes sitting around and scratching their heads. Coming up with zero ideas, they decide that it is time to take a break and have some lunch. Heading out to their local fast food restaurant they absent-mindedly look around hoping for some kind of divine inspiration. First looking at their napkin, they seriously consider adapting that square of paper as an option before looking slightly to the side and seeing a hamburger.
13 Michael Jackson
12 A Guitar
Ok, we’re going to say it. In the right situation and location, there is something about a well-crafted guitar, especially of the acoustic sort, that can actually be sexy. Masterworks of craftsmanship, they are tirelessly built in order to create beautiful pieces of music that have the potential of bringing the masses, or a specific couple, together at any time. With that in mind, we have to admit that the idea of taking a gorgeous woman and putting her into an outfit that represents these glorious instruments could actually have some potential. Then we look at this representation of the idea and realize we may have been wrong. Either that or they failed tremendously.
11 Pizza Slice
10 A Monkey
People like primates, right? Furry little creatures with an expressive face and big ears, they seem like they make great companions in every movie and TV show we’ve ever seen. However, not everything we find cute and cuddly should be made into a sexy costume. You wouldn’t want to take the characters from Sesame Street and turn them into sexy costumes, would you? Yet, for some reason, the costume industry, yes it can be called that, thinks that it is perfectly reasonable to take cute little animals and use them for the inspiration for their sexy creations.
8 A Chicken
7 Buzz Lightyear
Remember when we mentioned in a previous entry that it seems like a weird idea to adapt a family friendly character into a sexy costume? If you thought they wouldn’t possibly do something that silly you have another thing coming. The first of several entries on this list that will fall under that category, this time around we’re looking at a sexy costume based on Buzz Lightyear. A character that spends the majority of the first film he appears in thinking that he is something he’s not, the only explanation for this existing we’d accept includes a similar origin.
6 Male Nurse
5 Bert and Ernie
4 Mrs. Potato Head
Come one people. Not everything is supposed to be made into a sexy costume. Case in point, a costume that is based on a type of fish that is most associated with the Pixar cartoon Finding Nemo. Don’t get us wrong, we love the movie as much as the next person but it is actually that fact that makes us most turned off by it all.
2 A Cow
1 Donald Trump
Dear lord, this was probably meant to be somewhat funny but we’re laughing at the people who created this, instead of with them. The fact that Donald Trump, the actual person, has actually found multiple women who’ve chosen to share his bed, let alone marry him, has to be proof that there is someone for everyone. With that in mind, we as a species shouldn’t be tempting the fates by creating a “sexy” costume representation of the man. If someone else gets laid while looking like him we don’t know what that says about us and how close we are to an apocalypse, but it can’t be good.
Sources: Yandy, 2DayFM
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