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15 Reasons Why You Should Never Date An American Woman

High Life
15 Reasons Why You Should Never Date An American Woman

Dating an American girl might be the best decision of your life or one of the most challenging. After all, Americans are in a category of their own. They are not European, not quite Canadian, and not quite Latin American. Also, it might be very hard to find a quintessential “American” gal that is willing to date someone that wasn’t raised in the same town or state as her. After all, she’s really picky about the way her man should walk, talk, and dress. And if you don’t look like every other guy she went to high school with, she might question your qualifications.

With that being said, here are 15 reasons why you should never date an American woman. Now, this is not to say that every American woman is difficult to deal with (because there are plenty who are absolutely amazing) but there are some bad apples out there. Think of it this way. How would you rate an American car? Would you drive a Ford over an Alpha Romeo? Or a Chevy over a BMW? Or a Dodge rather than a Jaguar? Remember, quality is always better than quantity. Check out our list below and let us know what you think.

15. She Might Get Too Political

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If there’s one thing that can easily spoil a good dinner date or party, it’s when your significant other opens up their mouth about their political views or what they think is wrong with the world. And chances are, your American girlfriend will do that in front of everyone. That’s because they are very unabashed about their views, regardless of how strong they may be. Plus, don’t forget that the country is split up by red and blue states. Her views are probably very conservative or very liberal and not very moderate at all.

For people who live in the outside world, this might be very unsettling. After all, the United States is in one country that is always in the spotlight. People will have an opinion, regardless of what is said or done. But should they be said over dinner? The short answer: no.

14. She’s High Maintenance

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Trust us when we say that there is no woman in this world that is more high maintenance than an American girlfriend. There’s a reason why they keep so many hair, nail salons and spas in business all throughout the country – it’s because they visit them at least once a week! They need to keep themselves looking amazing all the time, and that can get tiring for their significant others.

For a lot of people, visiting a salon or a spa so frequently might seem like a waste of money, especially if it’s something you can do from home and free, too. But American gals don’t see it this way. They like to be spoiled and pampered. And they would really love it if you could foot the bill, too. And is that something you want to deal with for the rest of your life? I didn’t think so.

13. She Might Get Jealous

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Now, dealing jealous girlfriends is nothing new. It’s a universal problem that men have and deal with all over the world. But when it comes to American women, you’ll have to deal with a different kind of jealous. It is definitely much more intense. Now, we’re not saying that she’ll snoop behind your back and read the text messages off your phone (or peek into your phone’s email), but if she is suspicious of something, chances are she’ll tell you about it.

Plus, because the typical American girlfriend is rather high maintenance (thanks to all of those salon appointments) she’ll probably feel a little threatened from the girls in your hometown, especially if they are the Italian gals who like to walk around topless while on the beach. Trust us, an American gal would NEVER dare do that. They will make sure you don’t even look at another girl.

12. She Might Not Be Well Traveled Enough

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She might not be well traveled enough, but that’s not necessarily her fault. Let’s keep in mind that the United States is so vast, so different, and so incredibly interesting that you could spend a lifetime exploring the country without every leaving its borders. There is so much to see before even considering venturing out of the country. Plus, it’s such a huge melting pot that you could easily experience all the different cultures in the world by spending time in just one big city at a time.

And while there are pros and cons to living in a country like America, a lot of people forget that there is a world outside of their borders, too. In fact, it’s hard to find an American who has visited both of their neighboring countries, Canada and Mexico. This might be hard on you, especially if you love to explore different countries.

11. She Might Not Be Willing To Move

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American girls are very close to their families. They like to be near their rooms and for some reason that we can’t explain, take a lot of joy in attending their high school and college reunions every couple of years. Plus, a lot of American girls love to stay loyal to their hometown sports teams, too. Missing out on a football game almost feels like a sin, while there’s no way they would miss a Super Bowl or World Series party. No way!

Plus, American girls don’t like to move around too much. Sure, we’re not talking about every single American gal out there, but the majority of them love to stay close to home, even though they are not living at home. They just love knowing the fact that they can pop into their parents’ house for a warm, good home cooked meal without having to travel too far for it.

10. She Might Not Even Have A Passport

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Here’s the worst part about dating an American girl: she might not even have a passport. Or if she does have a passport, chances are it has been expired for several years now. We’ve already told you that American girls don’t move around much and they like to stay close to home. Well, they also really don’t care too much about hiking in New Zealand, island hopping in Thailand, or trying new noodle dishes in Vietnam because that’s just not on her priority list of things to do. Plus, she can go hiking, island hop and try new foods if she lives somewhere in the Northeast or along the California coastline.

Packing and traveling on a long haul flight is just too much of a headache when she can do all the exploring she wants from her very own backyard. American girls are often not the traveling type.

9. She Might Have A Hard Time Pronouncing Things

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Some Americans tend to like words with vowels in them. If a word has too many consonants clumped together, chances are they’ll have a hard time pronouncing it. And if you just happen to have a name that is difficult to pronounce, sounds too odd or bizarre or just too foreign for them, forget it. You might as well rename yourself Matt, Mike or Jeff because that’s what she and the rest of her family are going to be calling you from now on.

Now, we’re not trying to say that all American girls are ignorant. There are plenty of gals out there that do make a good effort (especially those who are well traveled and educated and know the difference between, say, Spanish and Catalan if she’s traveled several times to Barcelona already). Plus, dude, you don’t want to change your name just for her.

8. She Might Think With Stereotypes

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This has got to be the most challenging thing to deal with. If you’re Irish, she’ll think you eat Lucky Charms for breakfast every morning. If you’re English, she’ll expect you to look like Prince William. And if you’re Canadian, she’ll figure that you are always feeling too cold, but are just too nice to admit it. Simply put, a lot of Americans (not all of them) tend to think in stereotypes. And do you blame them? Not at all. After all, many of them have never left their country before.

Your American girlfriend’s ignorance might be cute at first, but it can get tiresome, fast. If you’re Indian, she’ll expect you to know all of the great Indian takeout places in your city. And if you’re Korean, she’ll expect you to know how to fix her Samsumg camera right away. And don’t get me started if you’re Mexican.

7. She Might Give You A Hard Time About The Way You Dress

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If there’s one thing that is really annoying about dating an American woman, it’s that she might give you a hard time about the way you dress. Chances are that she won’t want to adapt to your style, your needs and your lifestyle. Nope. She’ll expect you to turn yourself around and allow her to completely transform your wardrobe.

The worst thing about this is that there’s a strong possibility that she might start buying you clothes, shoes and jackets that will make you look like one of her ex-boyfriends. And as someone who wasn’t raised in the continental United States, you don’t want to look like a die-hard Dallas Cowboys fans when you’ve never stepped foot in the state of Texas. Plus, you know that polo shirts are not your thing for every damn occasion.

6. She Might Be Geographically Challenged

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For weeks now you’ve been talking about your family and friends in Edinburgh. Or how you spent that one semester abroad in Salzburg and the amazing time you had exploring Doha on your own during a stopover flight. And she’s been nodding her head this entire time, pretending that she knows exactly what you’re talking about. The problem is that she doesn’t have a damn clue.

We would hate to say it, but we’ve come across plenty of American women that are rather geographically challenged. That might be a huge problem, especially if she still doesn’t know what country you are from. Sure, they know their way to the nearest Chipotle takeout but ask her where Sri Lanka is and she will tell you that she’s never heard of that kind of guacamole before. And no, we are not making this up.

5. She Might Feel Entitled

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This has got to be the worst point on our list. Yes, a lot of American feel very entitled. More often than not, you’ll hear them say that they live in the greatest country in the world. And because of that, they’ll expect the best service, everywhere they go. After all, they also come from the culture where the customer is always right. Well, here’s a newsflash: the customer isn’t always right.

Plus, we can’t tell you how annoying it is to dine or order take out with an American woman. She’s really specific with her needs and she’ll let you know that. She wants her hamburger cooked medium rare, but not too rare, her bun has to be gluten-free, the cheese has to be Swiss, the pickles better be organic, and she likes to have her ketchup and mayo on the side. Also, don’t mess up her drink order. She’ll tell you if that Coke is a diet or not.

4. She Might Be Prone To Gaffes

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Now, technically this can be applied to just about anyone, regardless of where you are from. There’s a good chance that your American girlfriend might be prone to some embarrassing gaffes. She’ll probably wonder out loud if your Mexican grandmother will be cooking tacos tonight (while also asking what she thinks of the current administration), will tell your Korean uncle that she’s always wanted to visit China and worse, expect everyone in your Persian family to wear a hijab. And if they don’t, she’ll be surprised that to know that they also can drive and have the right to vote!

But let’s make this clear: anyone can make these kind of mistakes, and not all Americans are guilty of them. Dumb and ignorant people don’t necessarily have to be American. But at the same time, make sure this person isn’t your girlfriend, too.

3. She Probably Doesn’t Speak A Second Language

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Now, this can go several different ways, depending on how you look at it. If she doesn’t speak the same language you do, that means you can get away with talking to your parents and family members without her knowing anything. But at the same time, this might make things awkward, especially at family gatherings where she is always feeling left out. The worst thing about this is when she accuses you of talking about her when honestly, all you are trying to do is get your brother to give you his Netflix password again.

This might seem like a generalization, but most Americans don’t speak more than one language. Now, this doesn’t mean she has to be fluent in German and Mandarin, but things might get a little awkward when your aunt from Frankfurt sneezes and she says “Auf Wiedersehen.”

2. She Doesn’t Get Your Love For The Beautiful Game

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For the typical American girlfriend, nothing matters more than the yearly Super Bowl game. Yes, it might be the most boring sporting event in the world and the only thing that makes watching it better is seeing Bruno Mars during the Half Time Show or all of the amusing commercials in between the breaks. Still, she has no idea what the heck is going on the field. All that matters is that her hair and makeup game is strong for the Instagram selfies she plans on posting later on that night.

But when it comes to the World Cup, she’s lost. For her, the game schedule just sounds like another complicated geography test. Plus, does she really care about Costa Rica playing some country named Uruguay? Absolutely not. And why do so many Brazilian soccer plays have just one name? Is it because they are like Madonna?

1. She Won’t Be Willing To Try New Food

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There’s a good chance that your American girlfriend will tell you that one of the worst things about growing up in her country is that Chick-Fil-A is never open on Sundays. That, and In-N-Out refuses to open new restaurants on the East Coast. She’s been going to the same steakhouse for as long as she can remember, gets the all you can eat pasta fast pass from Olive Garden whenever it’s available and knows a good Trader Joes deal when she sees it.

With that being said, you might have to work very hard to convince her to try new food, especially if it’s something that she can’t pronounce. Now, we’re not saying that this is impossible, but it might be a challenge, especially if she has an inexperienced palate. Pho? For what?

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