So, you may not have already known this, but statistically speaking, women do tend to live longer than men. This seems to be mainly a biological thing for the most part, but I have to say, this article really shows just how it is that men go out of their way to mess themselves up; basically asking to live a very short life.
I'm sure it would be easy enough to find photos of women doing incredibly stupid, death-wish activities. But I have to say that it is far and away much easier to find photos of guys doing these stupid things. I actually think some of these photos must have been taken just before these people got themselves killed and nominated for a Darwin Award.
I mean, who the hell sticks their tongue out to a cobra who is slithering right near their face!? Who spreads their legs in the air and lets their buddy jump a horse right over his groin? Who ties a harness around their neck when working high up on a building!? There are some really dumb people in the world and it seems that most of these people (who are at least caught on film) happen to be men. So, here are a few reasons why women live longer than us men.
15 Moving Day With Men
Alright, I'm sorry but I've moved about 13 times in the past 10 years and I don't think I've ever done something as stupid as this. Sure, I might have lightly backed up a pickup truck into the corner of a brick house, but there was no damage. And there was certainly no one standing at that corner waiting for my truck to hit them. The length of the couch in this photo will likely not fully reach the guys below which means the three guys above have to let go so the two below can catch the damn thing! Now, if it takes three people to get it even that far, chances are the two guys below are going to take a heavy blow to the head as soon as the couch is dropped for them to catch. And I'm sorry to say but it looks like the fittest guys are the ones at the top and I'm not sure the guys below are all that strong.
14 Why Wouldn't A Man Tease A Cobra?
I can't even begin to understand the stupidity of this guy. I mean, I know it's likely that this cobra has had its venom glands removed or that this guy is a "professional", but that doesn't change the fact that it's very messed up to tease and test a cobra that is slinking up that close to you. Even if there is no venom in that thing, it could definitely still give one hell of a bite to your tongue and I don't think it would be very pleasant to have a cobra's fangs buried in your tongue. Maybe I'm wrong about that. I can't help but think that the second after this photo was taken the cobra definitely took a shot at this guy's tongue. And I'm willing to bet that, given how dumb us men can be, this cobra actually still has both its fangs and its venom!
13 Just An Average Day On The Job For A Man
I can't even begin to imagine how this guy thought it would be a good idea to chain up this slab of concrete, pull it up with the crane, and then leave it at this ridiculous angle while he does work down in the hole. Those chains look a little orange and that to me means that there's some rust there. And given that, I would never trust those chains to hold that slab up. I wouldn't trust any chains to hold that slab up so I could go under it. So many things could go wrong in this scenario that would end up with that slab coming down on that guy which would basically separate the guy's torso from his legs. I don't think there would be much resistance from this guy's flesh and bone. I don't even want to guess at how much that slab weighs. It's bigger than the guy is and just about as thick!
12 Police MEN Doing Some Tricks On Horseback...
How could anyone think that this would be a good idea? How could you think this would be a totally safe thing to do? Would you do it? I bet some of you just said yes in your head. You know what that makes you? Completely stupid. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is. If you said yes to this, then you are part of the reason why women live longer than men. I mean, who went to their friends and said "hey, I've got a great idea. I'll do a head-stand, you guys hold my legs apart, and then we'll get someone to jump a horse over my crotch"? Who does that!? I'm sure some of you care a little less about the guy in this shot since it seems like it's a bunch of cops doing this stunt and they have higher chances of casualty anyway...but did you ever wonder if maybe this sort of thing is the reason why they have a higher chance of dying young?
11 This Is Why Sidewalks And Crosswalks Exist
Look...I live in Canada, and I actually just came back inside from shoveling over a foot of snow. That's actually not a joke about living up north. That's just the truth. But there's something I would never do while the city workers clear snow from the streets. I would never jump out in front of them to cross the street! If this guy doesn't slip while he hops over the bank (getting caught in the blades of the blower in the process) then he might get hit by the truck driving alongside the snow-blower. But even if he makes it past both of these, how could he possibly see the other car coming alongside the truck!? Now, I have to say that this photo was taken in Quebec (which you can tell by the flag in the background). And I know some people think the French are a bit backward...but I mean...come on.
10 The True Crotch Rocket...
Alright...I almost can't even say anything about this simply because of the stress it causes me. I don't know if you noticed yet, but the guy sitting there hoping that the biker doesn't run into him really looks like he's flinching an awful lot. He's already holding himself (as if that's going to protect him from the hundreds of pounds of force heading his way), and the look on his face seems to say that he really doesn't trust his friend anymore. I definitely wouldn't trust any friend of mine to get even this far with this stupid stunt. I like the idea of being able to have kids if ever I decide to actually have a family. And even though I don't want a family, I like the process of practicing for having one...and it might be a bit hard to have that sort of practice if your special parts have been crushed by an aptly named crotch rocket.
9 This Guy Seems Pretty Grounded...
I don't know how many of you have ever played with electricity, but you have to be pretty careful depending on what you're doing. If you take a 9-volt battery and press the end of your tongue, it's not really going to do all that much to you. You'll feel a buzz on your tongue depending on how much juice is left, but it won't kill you. If you stick a knife in a power outlet, you're probably going to shoot across the floor, blow the circuit, give you hands burns and possibly blow your heart and fry your brain. I know people who have survived this, but it's stupid. What's worse than that is playing with an electrical box on the outside of a building while you "ground" your feet in a deep puddle. I don't know if you know this, but water is a very good conductor of electricity.
This is a totally stupid version of rock, paper, scissors. I think there must be some other way to get a warhead apart...you know, a way that doesn't involve hitting a knife with the head of a hatchet into the top of the bloody thing. I can't even imagine how these guys though that could be a good idea. I'm not sure where they're from based on their uniform, but I can at least say that I'm happy to notice that they're at least not Canadian. I know too many military families and the last thing I need to hear is that their loved ones were blown up by "friendly fire" while three idiots were trying to pry apart a warhead with the point of a knife. I know that military intelligence is an oxymoron, but how stupid can they really be?
7 I Know This Guy Is High...But I Also Think He's High...
Ok, I know that windows need cleaning. Sometimes birds cr*p on windows...or fly into them. Some windows get smudged by something dropped from the floor above. And others just get covered in pollen or bugs throughout the year. But usually, there are people who are paid to clean windows on sky rise buildings. They usually have some sort of platform and pulley system that keeps them safe while they clean windows. But this guy...I don't even know how many floors up he is, but all he has for safety is his hand on the inside of the window. That's just plain f*cked up. I know some people who seem to have a death wish, but come on. How is this guy going to reach that top corner of the window? He's going to have to shuffle out even further. And that's where a gust of wind takes him for a long ride.
6 Just Two Average Joes With Average Jobs
Ok, so the cleaning windows thing is bad enough. I think it's pretty ridiculous to be standing on such a small space while your Windex sits next to you on a slightly smaller space. But the guy in the second frame is not endangering his life...he's endangering the life of either a friend of his or someone he really hates and who he intends to hurt. Because there is no way that anyone would agree to be a table for a power saw like that, right? Well, apparently not right. This is a fully legal photo that was taken. No crime has been committed so far as the picture goes. But I imagine that changed pretty quickly right after the photo was taken. I can only imagine that this guy accidentally buried the power saw in the back of his idiot friend.
5 This Guy Just Wants To Play With Gators
I can't imagine how anyone thought this was a good idea. I don't even think this guy is doing anything other than taking a stick and poking a gator with it. There doesn't seem to be any food on it. There doesn't seem to be a net on the end of it. I can't understand just what the point of this is. And I'm fairly certain that if he pisses off one gator, it won't take all that long for the rest of them to join in on a fresh meal. You can see at the bottom of the frame that there is already one gator hissing at the guy. All it would take is for one gator behind him to turn around and decide that they're hungry in order for him to be completely finished. I know one this is for sure. You would never catch me alone with nothing but a stick surrounded by that many gators. F*ck that.
4 This Guy Thinks He's Harry Potter
Now, look. This guy might actually not have that much of a death wish. It's entirely possible that the pool he's jumping into is deep enough that it will take his "dive" and he won't smash himself on the bottom of the thing. However, it doesn't seem like the pool is all that large and considering how much distance he's seemed to have cleared already from the window, is he keeps going, he might end up hitting the edge of the pool with his face. Especially the way his knees are jutting out. He might impact the water with his knees, then unfold with his face planting into the stone. I'm glad there are no after photos of this incident because I can only imagine a red mess all over the stone and seeping into the pool while the guy lounging at the bottom is throwing up.
3 It's Grill Time IN The Pool, Boys
Now, all the stuff with the heights and all that...that's pretty crazy. But this is just plain stupidity. This isn't even intended as a stunt. It's just a very stupid way to be lazy while lounging in a sh*tty pool. I'll be honest, if I had that as a pool, I wouldn't try and be any cooler by wiring up a grill in the center of the thing. Using sandals to keep a live power bar afloat and running a grill...What the f*ck? I can only imagine that the smallest movement in that pool would end up flipping that power bar over. Which makes me think that the moment after this photo is actually three men getting zapped to death in their own stupid pool-grill-creation. No wonder why it's been proven that women live longer than men. I never realized we were this stupid though...
2 This Guy Might Spark Some Real Problems
I know a lot of professionals in the trades often cut corners because they really know what they're doing (or at least say they do) and aren't worried about the dangers that surround them every day. But I mean...come on. This is just crazy. True, I'm not sure what gas is in those two tanks strapped to that dolly, but everyone looking at this knows that this idiot has two tanks of some pressurized gas, right? And he's firing sparks right at the tanks. Now, I don't know if you've ever heated up something under pressure like that...but they explode. And it's no small explosion either. It's pretty violent. And for some reason, this guy seems to think that nothing bad will happen. I really hope, for his sake, that those tanks were just empty when these photos were taken. Otherwise, I wonder if he's still alive.
1 This Guy Is Being Kept In The Loop
Yeah...he's being kept in the loop and will be kept there forever if he slips and falls here. Who the hell uses a noose as a harness when doing work on a building!? I can only think of two scenarios here. Either he's planning on committing suicide once he's finished his final piece of work on this building...or he is being held to do slave labor and if he disobeys, he'll be kicked off this building to his death. Maybe as a third option, he is just taking a joke photo...but I want to think that there's no way he's that stupid either to make this joke photo or to actually just work each day with this as his "safety" harness. He does have a smile on his face...so it seems like it was on purpose. It really hurts my brain that some people are just so f*cking dumb.