What’s your worst nightmare every time you go out in public?
It’s probably not death or financial ruin – it’s probably more along the lines of, I hope my pants don’t fall down in front of a stranger. While serious harm to your body or your checkbook might cause more real-life pain, nothing quite beats the perceived agony that you feel during an embarrassing situation, especially if there are a bunch of random onlookers standing by and laughing at you.
Hermits excluded, everyone has to deal with strangers on a day-to-day basis. But our typical stranger interaction usually consists of telling some homeless guy that no, we don’t have any change today, but will definitely give him something on some future date that we both know will never come, or saying “excuse me” to someone after stepping on their toes on the subway. But that isn’t always the way it has to be. After all, what are friends but former strangers that you got to know? Every random you pass by on the street has their own story, their own problems and love affairs.
The redditors on this list confess the weirdest thing they’ve ever done with a stranger. Sometimes it’s a social nicety gone awry that escalated into a seriously awkward situation. Other times it’s a huge faux pas that happened in public. Some of these people got to know their strangers afterward, but for most this was a one-off – a moment of sudden closeness that was soon gone forever, for better or for worse (hint: mostly for the better). Some of these strangers probably belong in jail, while others were just being a little overly friendly or caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, but they were all awkward.
16 Flashed Old Ladies
“I had a lanyard hanging out of my back pocket and was crouching down to replenish the mp3 player cabinet at the electronics store that I worked at. Two nice older ladies approached me and asked for my assistance. I am incredibly socially anxious at the best of times so this was like a nightmare happening in slow motion. Unbeknownst to me, my lanyard had looped around my heel while I was crouched down. So when I stood up, my back pocket was attached to my shoe and my pants did not stand up with me. For some reason my knickers decided it would be twice as funny if they stayed down there too.
I showed two customers my everything.” (Reddit)
This electronics store employee had a stranger adventure she won’t soon forget. While she was only trying to be helpful employee, she managed to get her clothes caught and show two old ladies her private parts. Quite the wardrobe malfunction. Hopefully the two oldies weren’t too scandalized by the sight of some young booty – and at least it wasn’t the cute guy she was crushing on. (Although…maybe…)
15 Walked Into Their House
“I was about 8 at the time, but still very awkward.
I was going to a friend’s house, but couldn't remember what house it was. I had been there before, so I knew what the inside looked like, just not the outside. Me and my dad walked up to a house, thinking it was the right one. A lady opened the door. Never seen her in my life, but I still walked INTO the house. The lady was obviously confused, but I kept going. I took off my shoes, as if I was going to stay. My dad was beginning to feel like something was off, and then I realized: this was NOT the right house. Realizing this, I picked up my shoes and booked it out of the house. My friends house just happened to be just beside the one I walked into. Oops.” (Reddit)
Where's my friend? I know he’s around here somewhere. Oh, wait. No…oops.
This kid was so determined to hurry into his friend’s place that he didn’t bother to check if it actually was his friend’s place at all. While we’ve all been guilty of a little recklessness in our younger days, not everyone can say they’ve made themselves comfortable in a stranger’s house…
14 Tried To Shake Their Stump
“Without thinking, I once tried to shake an amputee's hand. He stuck out his arm in a non-offended way to show that he was unable to shake my hand, and to diffuse the situation with only minimal amounts of awkwardness. I, for some reason, took this as a gesture to shake his handless arm (it was cut off at just above the elbow so I had to really reach for it) which resulted in uneasy laughs and goodbyes.” (Reddit)
Sometimes you’re rude and sometimes you’re just clueless. This redditor was only trying to be friendly but he accidentally made the situation more awkward than ever. When the amputee indicated that he couldn’t shake, this guy grabbed onto the stump like Sylvester Stallone holding onto Sarah for dear life at the beginning of Cliffhanger. While this amputee probably didn’t appreciate being reminded so bluntly of his handicap, it appears for this poster’s sake he was able to laugh it off. Still…awkward.
13 Called Them "Dad"
“I called the sales rep at an EB Games (Game Stop for you Amerifriends) dad once.
Hint: He wasn't my dad” (Reddit)
This redditor was a little too familiar with the clerk at his local gaming store. Maybe that’s a sign you should put down the Xbox and go outside for a walk? As much as you might like the video games, dude, this is not your house. Time to meet some real friends.
In all honesty, though, why “Dad”? Does this person have some weird fetishes or was this just an accident? Maybe he has some daddy issues that haven’t been worked out. We’re not saying that playing a million video games is a great way to fill the gaping void in your life, but y’know…to each his own.
Or maybe it was just a slip of the tongue. No big deal, right? I’ll just start calling the waitress Mom, the hairdresser Aunt Marj, the girlfriend Sis…I mean we’re all just one big family here on Earth, right?
12 Laughed At Them For Breaking A Remote
“I was riding my motorcycle…and stopped behind the car that was also waiting at the red light. A guy in sweatpants jogs out between me and the car, and for some reason, a TV remote flies out of his pocket and smashes like it was made of glass all over the street.
The sheer randomness of a guy having a TV remote in his pocket made me burst out laughing, and the guy was staring at the shards of remote in the street like he didn't know how it got in his pocket. I'm laughing so hard that I ease off my clutch a bit, and scare myself by moving forward an inch, causing me to stall my motorcycle out. I can't stop laughing, and now my motorcycle engine isn't covering the sound. So the guy slowly looks up from the shattered remote and stares directly at me with this pained look on his face. He does this until I stop laughing, fired my bike back up, and drove around him and down the street.” (Reddit)
This situation is just awkward for everyone involved. For one thing, why was this guy jogging with a remote? As for the poster in this case…we’ve all been in a situation where we couldn’t help but just start laughing, even if it was against our better judgement. We’re betting that he took that green light as his salvation from one awkward (and bizarre) situation.
11 Grabbed Their Junk
“On the first day of the semester I was walking on campus, and one of my hands kind of swung into this stranger's p-, cupping it for a second. We made eye contact and then quickly walked away from each other. When I get to class, I find out he is my TA. I never went in for extra help. EVER.” (Reddit)
Poor girl. We can all feel for someone who’s accidentally copped a feel without even realizing it, but this chick didn’t even know that the guy whose junk she touched was her teacher. That must have made for an awkward four months. As she says, she took extra pains to avoid staying after class.
Even if her teacher probably didn’t even remember that she accidentally groped him, we can still understand this girl’s fear. What if he did know, and got completely the wrong idea? I guess she could have gotten an “easy A”…
10 Used The Wrong Bathroom
“I was at the airport taking a red-eye overseas. I decided to take some sleeping pills, get drowsy, and figure I should take a pre-flight dump.
Two minutes later I hear clack-clack of someone coming into the bathroom. All I can think is "damn this guy has some loud shoes." 30 seconds later the bathroom fills up... All I can think is "all these guys have really loud shoes"... well, still taking my dump, I peek under the stall and suddenly my heart drops like it has never dropped in its life. You know what shoes are loud on tiles? Heels. And then it hits me... I didn't see any urinals walking in, and this weird trash bin next to the toilet - it's filled with tampons.
I freeze. Pull my feet really close to the toilet and try to cover up my shoes. I sit there for 15 minutes, listening to women using the bathroom 1 foot from me and chit chatting on the other side of the door. I've never sweat so much in my life and been so terrified I'm about to become an accidental s*x offender.
Finally, the waiting pays off. I can tell the bathroom is empty for a split second. No time to wipe. I pull my pants up and bolt out of there.” (Reddit)
To be fair, this guy mentions that he was on sleeping pills when he found himself caught in this terribly awkward situation. Thankfully no-one caught him with his pants down.
9 Peed Pants In A Maze
“I was once in one of those human sized mazes. I had to pee so incredibly bad. I was frantically power walking, interrogating strangers on how to get out, but I was getting nowhere. I find myself running through the maze, trampling over children. Finally, a part of the maze I haven't been to yet! I am home free! MOTHER F***ING DEAD END. I froze. I stood there, alone, scared, and helpless. I had to urinate so bad I literally could not move a muscle. I tried to take a slow step forward and it was let loose like a gushing fire hydrant. Pee had won.
After I soaked my pants I could hear some girls coming and knew I was in for it. I just said to them like it was no big deal, "Yup, peed my pants." It took me another ten agonizing minutes to find my way out of the maze, everyone laughing, pointing, making faces at me.“ (Reddit)
When you gotta go, you gotta go. Sometimes there just isn’t a bathroom around. This guy got lost in a maze and couldn’t get out – which is kind of the point of a maze, after all – and got completely screwed over by his bladder. Come to think of it, maybe mazes should have an emergency “get me out of here” option.
The most awkward thing of all is this guy’s encounter with some girls right after he whizzed himself. At least he was confident to come right out with it. There’s no hiding when you’ve got an ever-expanding wet patch covering the crotch of your jeans…
8 Been Propositioned In A Mall Bathroom
"Well, I was taking a crap at the mall (bad idea), and I notice out of the corner of my eye a man's p- come from below the stall divider. I go, "What the f-?!" and I hear an "oh... sorry."
The kicker? I was working Mall Security at the time, was on duty, and promptly radioed the on-duty police detail to have him arrested. He was about 50 years old. I go to stop him and ask him why he just wagged it at me... when yep, he's met by his wife and 18 year old hot daughter. A good 20 seconds passed of nobody talking, just exchanging glances. Then the cop showed up.” (Reddit)
This security guard got more than he bargained for when he went to use the mall bathroom. While some people have some weird s*xual preferences, we have to wonder what the hell this guy was thinking in ditching his wife and daughter to look for a bj in a public restroom. I’m just wondering if he had some kind of arrangement that this security guard busted up by accident, or if he was just hoping for a happy ending?
7 Allowed A Schizophrenic Lady To Lock Herself In The Bathroom
“One evening, my roommate Victor decided to make himself dinner.
“Uh, hello?” Victor said. This was followed by the sound of hurried footsteps, a door slamming shut, and Victor poking his head through my door. “Some girl just walked in and locked herself in the bathroom.”
“NO, DADDY!” she wailed. “FIGHT FOR ME, DADDY!”
The situation was surreal, and it was made all the more absurd when a middle-aged man and woman came rushing into our apartment. We learned – as the girl's father dragged her from the bathroom – that they were the previous owners of the apartment. Their daughter had an especially bad form of schizophrenia. She was paranoid about taking her medication, which only made things worse for her.” (Reddit)
This wasn’t actually the first time that this innocent apartment dweller had dealt with this woman. She had previously come by twice to ask to use the bathroom without much of an explanation. But the third time – where she snuck in, locked herself in and screamed for help – is easily the weirdest and creepiest of the lot. I think the most awkward part of the whole situation might be the two poor roommates trying to figure out what’s going on from the girl’s parents. Like…why are you in my house? Please leave…
6 Got Hit On Underage By A Creepy Cabbie
“Cabbie: So how old are you?
Me: I'm 17.
Cabbie: Hm. Ok. <long pause> Ok, see that concerns me. See you're 17. I'm old enough to be your dad. And I'm, well I'm attracted to you. But you're 17.
Me: <stunned silence, trying to figure out how to jump out of the cab>
Cabbie: Ok, here's what you do. You wait until you're 18. And then you go and find a professional photographer and you get pictures taken. YOU SHOW THEM TO NO ONE. You put them in a box and you just wait. And then, when you're really old, you take them out and say "LOOK HOW HOT GRANDMA USED TO BE!"
Me: Heh, uh, I can just get out right here...” (Reddit)
It’s one thing for a girl to get creeped on, but this cabbie just took it to the next level. Just admitting that he’s “attracted” to her at her age comes across as weird, but that whole crazy naked picture plan of his is just…yikes. Just maybe don’t say anything next time?
5 Got Told To Leave Their Boyfriend
“Years ago, my boyfriend tried to teach me how to ride a dirt bike. Well I crashed it into a grain trailer and ended up with a huge bruise from my forearm to my shoulder. It was purple and black.
Anyways, this middle aged woman stops me and gravely says "You can leave him, you know". I burst out laughing "I crashed a bike!".
She levelled a knowing look at me and said "Of course you did", pats my arm, and walks away.” (Reddit)
This woman wasn’t a victim of spousal abuse so much as road abuse, but that didn’t prevent one stranger from sticking her nose where it didn’t belong. I might feel the worst for the boyfriend in all of this, who has to walk around receiving dirty looks from strangers who think he beats his girl. The best part of this story is that when the poster explains it away, the helpful woman just pats her arm in a disbelieving way. It turns out that sometimes when people tell you to mind your own business, they really mean mind your own business. You can’t judge every book by its cover.
4 Pretended They Were Jon Heder
“I am somewhat ashamed of this, but back when the movie Napoleon Dynamite was a huge thing I guess I happened to have hair, glasses, and a face that exactly matched Jon Heder. I had various encounters resulting from this, but by far the most intense was when this van full of screaming pre-teen girls pulls up beside me, and a frantic mother gets out of the car and approaches me. The mother just says, "I'm so sorry to bother you Mr. Heder, or Napoleon whatever, but they made me stop! They are such huge fans of yours! Would you please just sign some autographs for them so they'll settle down??"
I somehow didn't have the heart to tell her/them I wasn't actually Jon Heder. So I signed a bunch of autographs, and did a lot of smiling, and they thanked me profusely, and drove off.” (Reddit)
I guess this guy was just giving those girls what they wanted. Some people get their fifteen minutes of fame, others have their brush with stardom on the side of the road somewhere in suburbia.
3 Learned How To Tie A Noose
“When I was a kid I was walking with my friend up the street. Some guy stopped us a taught us how to tie a noose. To this day I will never forget how to tie one. It wasn't until I was older that I thought about it and realized how creepy and disturbing that was.” (Reddit)
That’s just creepy. Nooses are all about killing people. Why would an adult man stop a child on the street to better teach him about killing people? What was this guy doing in his spare time? Was he a psychopath who just needed to share his knowledge? It appears that he was a good teacher, given that this poster notes that he still remembers the lesson.
As the poster mentions, he realized many years later how unsettling that whole interaction was. Hopefully it was just an overly helpful stranger with a bit of a dark mind, but then again, maybe the creep had a lot of practice tying them…
2 Killed A Cricket For $50
“When I was 15 a guy pulled up as I was walking into the Dollar Store parking lot and offered me $50 to step on a cricket (which he already had) with just my sock on. I was confused but wanted $50! so I did it and he gave me the money. And I bought a ton of useless stuff at the Dollar Store!” (Reddit)
This one is just plain weird. While I’m sure this redditor was happy to get fifty extra bucks, who goes around handing out bribes for bug homicides Most people would just stomp it out themselves. The socks-only detail seems to suggest that he wanted to gross the kid out, but if there’s one thing fifteen-year-olds are good at, it’s being disgusting.
Whether this stranger was just being overly generous or had a fear of bugs, we’ll never know. But this kid got a bunch of free candy out of the deal.
1 Discussed Peeing Themselves With A Potential Murderer
“A woman walked up to me and said, "It is normal for people to pee their pants, right?" I replied, yeah, everyone pees their pants when they are little.
"Well, what if a woman is assaulted. Couldn't she lose bladder control?"
"Yeah, I guess she could..."
"Because last night I had this dream a man was in my house and assaulted me..."
Then it suddenly dawned on me, this 40 year old woman wet the bed last night. "
Oh shit, this woman is crazy and either calls the cops when she has bad dreams or murdered someone. This lady is psycho. I start walking away.” (Reddit)
This redditor got more than he bargained for when he was heading into work one day, as a random started by badgering him about peeing your pants and turned out to be a potential murderer. This woman was clearly sexually assaulted in the past and needs some mental help, but judging by this conversation she’s not getting it yet. Slowly…start…backing…away…