Breakups are some of the hardest things every human being has to go through within their lifespan. It doesn’t matter how lonely you are, at some point in your life you are going to find someone you really like and spend a good deal of time with them. That is just a fact of life. Unfortunately, most relationships do not have happy endings like in romance movies and novels. The truth is that most relationships are doomed to fail as soon as they start. After a relationship fails, comes the part that is really hard. Breakups are something you can get over, but trying to coexist with an ex is perhaps the hardest thing someone can do.
That being said, there are good people who manage to do this perfectly, and some can even remain friends with their exes. This is not the case with any of the good folks we will show you today. We decided to bring you a list of people who were extremely savage to their exes via text message. Some of these people initiated the contact just for the hell of it, but some were probably just fed up with an annoying ex trying to get back together after a bad breakup. Either way, we have a feeling these are some of the most hilarious texts you will ever see.
15. The Bad News
Most of the time, when an ex texts his former beloved, he is trying to get back together with her or she’s trying to get back together with him, but it is always something in that ballpark. Nevertheless, there are times in which you need to talk to an ex you recently broke up with in order to give them some bad news you got from the doctor.
Yeah, these can be some of the hardest conversations a person can have, and the way this one played out is nothing short of tragic and hilarious at the same time. Comedy dramas should be made around text messages like this. Can you imagine the reaction of the guy who read the text and thought he was the coolest dude in the world responding this girl’s ex, only to find out that he is now in quite the dangerous situation as well?
14. Keeping It Warm
It is a common saying that people only realize what they had once they lose it. Relationships are all about this. How many guys and gals complain while they are in relationships, saying they could be getting with hotter people and enjoying their life more than they did in a relationship? This is the most common thought for people in long-term relationships. And yet, it seems like this is most often a wrong assumption these people make. If you need any proof of that just look at how many people thought their relationships were suffocating and thought they could do better, who are now desperately trying to get back together with their exes.
Thankfully, not everyone is weak enough to go back to someone like this. This gal, for example, shared the wish to keep her former paramour warm. The only difference is that she would rather do it with fire than cuddling.
13. You Take My Breath Away
We have seen some desperate exes. But this is the first person we came across who went as far as trying out poetry in a desperate attempt at getting his girl back. And if we are to be fair, the little poem was not that terrible. Well, it was pretty bad, but if you take into account the person’s psyche when he was writing it, you have to give him some credit for at least being able to finish those terrible little lines.
Unfortunately for him, but fortunately for everyone else who got to see this exchange afterward, his ex decided to go along with the joke, and she seems to be about as savage as ex-girlfriends come. Seriously, we have some hilarious stuff in store for you, but it is hard to imagine anything being as savage and cunning as this answer.
12. No Change Needed
Everyone probably went through something like this. We all have that one friend who likes going through your phone and changing your contacts so you will make a mistake and send an embarrassing text to someone you shouldn’t. If you don’t have that friend, count yourself lucky because these can turn out to be some of the most embarrassing things you could go through with a cell phone.
At the same time, this could be the set up for some of the best jokes one could come up with. For example, you could probably find a bunch of people who have their ex-girlfriend’s contact on their phone as b*tch instead of her name. As a joke, this is hilarious for us, but we kind of feel bad for Katy. She could have just not answered him, and she seemed polite. Either way, better to lose a friend than a joke.
11. Wrong Ex
If you have been with us for long enough, you have probably come across a list of wrong texts that pretty much ruined people’s lives. This is not on that large of a scale because this guy is sending a wrong text to an ex, which could turn out to be problematic, but not as bad as sending a text to your wife when it was intended for your mistress. You get what we are saying.
One way or the other, this dude really slipped up with this wrong text. First of all, how desperate are you that you are immediately texting your ex-ex when you just broke up with your latest ex? This is so bad we can’t help but feel bad for the guy and the girl. How annoying would it be to break up with someone one day and the next day you get a “let’s get back together” text that was meant for another ex?
10. Too Sad
Some people just make us want to cry. Everyone has a different way of dealing with a breakup. A lot of people cry, some close themselves inside their rooms and refuse to leave for days. Some just go to a bar and bounce right back into the dating pool. There are even those folks who will stay peaceful and happy, trying to maintain a friendly relationship with their ex. And yet, there was one kind of person we had never come across.
If you know someone like this, please leave a comment and tell us your story because we are dying to hear more of these. Seriously, who here knows someone who deals with breakups by going to online psychics and maxing out their credit cards in the hope of finding out if they are ever going to get back together with their ex?
9. Still Angry
As we mentioned before, there are good people who manage to stay friendly with their exes after a breakup. But the rule of thumb is that folks are usually mad with their former boyfriends and girlfriends after they break up. That is only natural. After all, no one ends a relationship without something bad happening between the two parties in the couple.
That being said, there is a level of rage that is just not healthy even after a bad breakup. Usually, when people are dating, they can often forget things at the other person’s house. And those things stay there after the breakup. Some friendlier exes might be okay with texting to let you know that they have your stuff if you want it back. But how savage do you have to be to answer a friendly question with: “shove it up your…”?
8. Expectation Versus Reality
Everyone here probably agrees that the person who least gives value to a relationship is the one who wants it back the most after a breakup. This is a given. Just check out all of your friends who had breakups and see how they are faring after the relationship ended. Usually, the person who was least enthusiastic about the relationship is the one who misses it the most. With that in mind, these folks are usually the ones trying to get back together.
The easiest way to start a conversation to rekindle a relationship is via text. And while they are staring at the blank text box on the phone, these folks have expectations as to how their ex will react when they reach out. As you can imagine, things usually go like this perfect representation someone made, picturing an ex’s expectation versus the reality.
7. Just Savage
There is no other way to describe this person. This is the King or the Queen of savage. Do you know how there are people who legitimately do not care about what other folks think? Many people might try to say they are like that, but these are rare individuals who do exist, and the odds are that you probably know one of them.
These are the perfect people when it comes to dealing with a needy ex. Why? Because a needy ex is desperate for attention, and this is the one kind of person who will either give them zero attention or will laugh at their face. Clearly, our friend here is someone who has long accepted the end of her or his relationship and is now just amused at how his or her ex wants to get back together.
6. When Excitement Hits
We are trying to keep things PG, but this is as close to an exception as we will try to make. What a couple does behind closed doors is just their business. We would not even know anything if they didn’t unwittingly reveal stuff like this via text, but as you can imagine this guy was incredibly attracted to his former girlfriend. Apparently, he is still very much in love with her, and we hope he is not around his friends whenever he thinks about her. That would just be awkward.
The only person to whom he can talk about his “issue” seems to be his ex-girlfriend. The only problem for him is that she really does not seem to care about ‘his issue’. Not only that, but this gal also came up with one of the most hilarious comebacks we have seen a needy ex receive.
5. Lightning Doesn’t Strike Twice
We learn from our mistakes. That is one of the very few sure things we have in our lives. This is like a young kid playing around a power plug and sticking his finger in there. Hopefully, the kid will just get zapped and realize that power plugs are not a place where you should put your finger. The same idea works in all kinds of areas of life. You will only run on an icy surface once if you fall and smash your face. The same goes for anything that will cause you pain. As humans, we tend to stray as far away from pain as we possibly can, unless you are one of those folks who have weird kinks.
4. Classic Misdirection
If you ever become someone’s ex, which probably will happen at some point in your life. Well, unless you are one of those exceptions who meet their first love and spends the rest of their life together with that person. Those are outliers, however. The odds are that someone will always have an ex. Now back to the point, if you ever become an ex, make sure you are a funny one.
Sure, everyone has the right to be angry at their ex if they broke up for some unspeakable reason like cheating and things alike. Nevertheless, hate will only drag things out of your life. Meanwhile, you could just make fun of your ex and screw with their heads like this ex-boyfriend did. That girl is always going to be looking over her shoulder for Mark after this. And that is all the revenge he should want.
3. Forgive My Sins
It takes a big man or woman to acknowledge what they have done wrong. Still, sometimes there are things that don’t go away even if you acknowledge them. Cheating is very near the top of that list. And let us just remind you that we are considering killing and heinous crimes part of this list as well. Even then, cheating is up there with them.
After you cheat on someone, it doesn’t matter how much you acknowledge your mistakes and say you won’t do it again. The other person simply has no reason ever to trust you. We don’t even understand how some folks still try to get back together with someone who cheated on them. Perhaps it is because they had been together for too long. Still, it doesn’t make much sense. Why stay with someone you can’t trust? Just unsubscribe like this gal did.
2. Give My Toaster Back
We have already mentioned how people often forget things in their boyfriend or girlfriend’s house. That is entirely natural and something that is almost impossible to avoid. Nevertheless, when you break up with that person, a new problem always surfaces. The problem of getting your stuff back. Yeah, people don’t really think about this before they break up with someone. God forbid you forget your Xbox at your ex-girlfriend’s home. Seriously, depending on how bad the breakup was, there is a good chance you are going to find that Xbox at the bottom of a lake or smashed by the sidewalk.
Nevertheless, there was one person who forgot something they needed even more than a guy needs his Xbox. This person forgot their toaster, and now they just can’t eat toast. Lol. We can’t even say it without laughing.
1. The Reminder
Last but not least, we had to touch on the subject that sometimes a person might want to get back together with an ex so bad that they forget what they have done in order for the relationship to end in the first place. Luckily, Mason over here had an ex who clearly did not forget the reason she gave him the boot. It doesn’t matter how bad you want to get back together with someone, if you cheated on them, the odds are above the clouds that they will not take you back. So really think twice, or three, or four, or an infinite amount of times before you cheat on someone. You really don’t understand what you have until you lose it.
That being said, this ex-girlfriend was as savage as they come on her response. “You want to get back together, and you can’t stop thinking about me? Too bad, son, that ship has already sailed.”
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