You’ve been dating for a while and everything is roses. Your feelings get deeper, serious romance begins to blossom, and then after a while, it’s only natural that you pop the question. Marriage cements a relationship and makes it official. But it’s a good idea to find out about the person you’re marrying first. And I mean properly find out about the person, because once you’ve said your vows, it could be tricky, and can be a real hassle and cause a whole lot of heartache if you want to make a U-turn.
What do we mean when we refer to properly finding out about the other person? We don’t mean turning into a private investigator or hiring someone to do the dirty work for you – although, we are guessing some of the people on this list would’ve been wishing they’d done precisely that. We mean is spending some time with the other person, living with them, really finding out about them to see if you’re compatible. But sometimes, no matter how much research you do, you just won’t know everything about the woman you supposedly love. If there’s something she wants to keep buried, you’re going to have a hard time bringing those skeletons out of the closet. If they do come out, they could end up being major deal breakers. Here are some things that men have discovered about their other halves. These 15 men have taken to forums and chatrooms and have revealed what they discovered after they said “I do.”
15 Green Card Girl
This is actually pretty tragic. One man revealed that he started dating a girl from Sweden. They were all loved up and were quickly becoming inseparable. His friends warned him that something wasn’t quite right, that he was getting too deep too soon, but he didn’t listen, and they ended up getting married six months after meeting. Things just continued like normal after marriage. The woman was doing a good job keeping up the charade. Then one night, they had a massive fight and it all came out. She revealed that she wanted a green card and that was the only reason she’d married him. A hurtful thing to say, but he just thought she’d said it out of spite. But the next day, when everyone had calmed down, she said it again, packed up her bags and just left. That was that; the entire marriage was a farce, and they never saw each other again.
14 She Was In It For The Money
A celebrity actually revealed this story. Rich Piana – now the late Rich Piana – was a bodybuilding superstar. He was perhaps the biggest personality in the bodybuilding and fitness industries. His YouTube videos got millions of views, and allowed people to get an insight into his life. A couple of years ago, after six months of dating, Rich married a woman named Sara. Everything seemed to be great, and fans of Rich loved seeing the two together in his videos. But again, much like the person mentioned in the first entry, people close to Rich warned him that something fishy was going on. Rich didn’t want to believe it. He was also a very busy man, had several business ventures on the go, so the money looked after itself, or was meant to. One day, Rich did some digging, checked his finances, and discovered thousands of dollars were systematically being sent to Sara’s family. He did some more digging, and found out this had been going on from the day they’d gotten married. Needless to say, that was the end of their relationship.
13 That He Was Her First Male Relationship
The first two entries on this list were pretty hardcore – let’s take it down a notch. This isn’t really a shocking type of confession. It’s more of an eyebrow-raising one. If most men discovered this about their other half, we reckon nothing drastic would happen – it may even spice things up. This man has revealed that he was with his girlfriend for a good two years. That’s a pretty long time to be with someone, and you’d think they’d know a whole lot about each other after that period. They did, but his girlfriend left out a pretty interesting bit of information; that for her whole life, up until that point, she’d only been with women. She told him this after they got married. The guy went on to reveal that he didn’t really know how to react. He was a tad taken aback, but then all sorts of stuff started whirring around in his mind and it made them even closer.
12 She Has Other Kids
This is a bombshell if ever there was one. Learning that your wife’s only dated women in the past is a juicy bit of info, but it is something that can be dealt with. But this is just on another level. Some men would be able to get past it. But others knowing that they’re essentially stepdads could find it too much to take. That was the case for the individual who revealed this story. He and his girlfriend had dated for a year before tying the knot. Again, you’d think that would be something that’d come up. But no, it came up after two years of marriage. His wife dropped the bombshell that she has other kids. Not only that, she’d also been seeing them, and visiting them throughout their marriage without his knowledge. It’s not the fact that she had kids that really ticked this man off. If she told him and frequently went to see them, he wouldn’t have minded. But it’s the fact that she lied to him, hid this massive secret, and therefore showed that she didn’t trust him. They’re still together after he found out, but it did put an almighty strain on their relationship.
11 She’s Into Some “Interesting Stuff”
You very rarely find this kind of stuff out after marriage. It’s quite often the case that you find out about a person’s preferences in the bedroom when you’re dating. Otherwise, how’s the woman going to be satisfied, if the guy doesn’t know what she likes? But for this man, the revelation came after marriage. He’s written that he still doesn’t know why she didn’t reveal all to him when they were dating. Perhaps she thought that what she was into was too freaky, and that he’d run a mile if she brought it up. What exactly did she tell him she liked? She’s basically into all of that Fifty Shades of Grey stuff, loved playing the role of Anastasia Steele. But she wanted to take it up a notch. After she told him everything, it took him a while to come around to it, but he gave in, they gave it a try, and their relationship’s all the better for it.
10 She’s Really Gross
There’s the general perception that, in comparison to women, men are like pigs. They’re slobbish, leave stuff lying around, smell, and are just generally disgusting – again, in comparison to women. But that doesn’t always hold true.
When dating, it’s likely that each person in the relationship is going to make a real effort. They going to watch what they do, try their utmost to try and stamp out their bad habits, suppress the urge to just be a – let’s face it – unattractive slob. You’re hardly going to appeal to the other person if you’re really gross. That’s what this man experienced. When he and his partner were living together before marriage, everything was hunky dory, it was a model household. But after they said “I do,” she revealed her true colors. It was like a switch had been flicked that was telling her she didn’t need to try any more. He discovered that she’s really gross, and began to gross him out in a whole number of ways. He actually had a sit-down discussion with her, which didn’t go so well!
9 She Was A Felon
Like we mentioned previously, it’s a good idea to know as much about the person you’re planning on marrying before you go ahead and cement the relationship. But some people have certain things in their pasts that they’ve just buried, and they don’t want those things to resurface. If they come to light later on, after you’ve both said your vows, it could throw a spanner in the works. This man found out something pretty big about his wife. There was around a decade of her life that she never spoke about, where she seemingly didn’t exist. This man was doing some snooping, came across some documents, did some more digging, and discovered that she’d spent eight years in prison for armed robbery. She was a felon, an armed and dangerous one at that. You can imagine the shock he felt. He didn’t confront her right away, and left it for a couple of weeks. When he did, everything came out, and it didn’t affect anything; they’re still together going strong.
8 She Has A Seriously Whacky Side Of The Family
Weddings offer up a chance for two families getting together. It’s very often the first time you’ll be meeting your partner’s family all at once. This in itself could throw up a few surprises. You could look at certain members of her family and think that’s where she gets it from, and recognize that they have similar characteristics. But that’s not what this man thought when he saw his bride’s family for the first time. Knowing his girl, he thought that they were an alien family. Their outfits and their personalities were just really out there, and some of the things he overheard were shocking – he just couldn’t believe that she and them all came from the same stock. He had the jitters as it is, but setting eyes on their antics, seeing that family almost made him want to run for the hills.
7 Desire Quickly Diminishes
This is actually quite common. When a couple are dating, romance is blossoming, and you’re of course turned on by the other person. It’s this continued romance that eventually turns into love, and then down the line, results in marriage. Then there’s the honeymoon period after marriage, where things tend to stay the same, or are perhaps taken to another level. But after that initial period after marriage, when getting back to reality, some people find that the spark that was once lit begins to die out. That’s what this man found. He revealed that pretty much as soon as his honeymoon was over, his partner’s s*x drive, which was once sky-high, was pretty much non-existent. That’s a bit of a problem, considering you’ve just vowed to spend the rest of your life with that person.
6 She Has Adult ADHD
This person had an inkling that his girlfriend may have something wrong with her when they were dating. But in his mind, this was confirmed when they got married and they properly started to live together. He began to notice things, and some of her behavior raised eyebrows – not necessarily in a bad way. When they got hitched and moved in together, she basically lost all of her inhibitions. She would sing, not just a little bit, about certain things, but about absolutely everything. When he was putting on his suit in the morning, she’d be singing about that. When he’d be brushing his teeth, she’d break into a song. She would go on and on, and wouldn’t give it a break until she was tuckered out. Then, when she had to do some studying to gain a qualification for work, she was really struggling, and he had to offer some help. It was then that she revealed she suffered from ADHD. She kept it hidden because she felt like she could deal with it, and didn’t want anyone to judge her. Knowing this made him understand, and actually brought the couple closer.
5 Discovered She’s An Alcoholic
This is one massive thing to find out after you’ve tied the knot. Finding out your other half is an alcoholic will get you wondering whether she’s had a mask on throughout the whole relationship. That’s what was going through this guy’s mind when he made this startling discovery. He recalls that they’d been dating for some time, but hadn’t actually lived with each other before marriage. Their dates usually consisted of consuming some alcohol of some kind: wine during a dinner date, cocktails for Friday night after work drinks, champagne for those special dates. Looking back at it, he should’ve noticed the signs. But he was blinded by love. However, when they tied the knot and moved in together, all became evident. She was drinking all the time, was trying to hide it, but wasn’t doing a good job about it. Eventually he brought up the touchy subject. After an almighty row, he convinced her to seek help, and she eventually got sober.
4 She Had Several Previous Marriages
When you get hitched, you normally know something about your partner’s dating history. Most people know a little bit about previous boyfriends, or perhaps girlfriends. One thing you expect to know is whether or not it’s going to be her first time walking down the aisle.
This guy, who’s of a slightly older age group, didn’t know that his wife was married, not once, but twice. But that wasn’t what alarmed him. When he did some snooping, he found out that her previous two husbands had died in suspicious ways. They died within the first year of marriage. This man had been married to his wife for nine months when he discovered this. It sounds like something out a movie. “She’s had a part to play in the deaths of her previous two husbands, and what if I’m next?” Those were the thoughts whirring around in his head. We don’t know what happened, but we hope he made it out of that relationship safely.
3 She Was An Identity Thief
Quite a few men on this list who’ve revealed their stories found out some new information about their partner’s life after saying “I do.” But what if you knew stuff, found things out, but these things weren’t true. Confused? That’s what this guy was feeling like when he decided to do some digging. He doesn’t reveal how he found this information out. But he discovered many things that his wife had done in the past, things that just didn’t make sense. He also found that she’d claimed things under different names, and then he discovered fake IDs. He was completely and utterly confused, and a tad horrified. He spoke to someone at his local police station, and that’s when everything came to light. His precious Eliza – and we can mention that name because it wasn’t really hers – was a convicted identity thief, and she was essentially playing this man for a fool. Needless to say, that was the end of their marriage.
2 Was Into Polyandry
Couples do all sorts of things to spice things up in the bedroom. Sometimes, this might include inviting someone, or a few more people along. Very often it’s the man who suggests such things. It’s very rarely the woman in the relationship who’s fine with that – often some arm twisting needs to be done. But this woman was very upfront about it. However, for some reason she didn’t mention it when she and her man were dating. She only brought it up when they were married. And by the way, she was into the full-blown polyandry; i.e. she wanted a number of male partners, in addition to her husband. The guy who revealed this probably didn’t know whether or not to take this as an insult. It’s not really practiced in Western society. We wonder how things worked out!
1 She Didn’t Want Kids
This is a pretty massive thing that you’d expect to know before getting married. But for whatever reason, the topic of conversation just didn’t come up. Perhaps he just took it for granted that she’d want to raise children – he got a nasty surprise after they got hitched. The person who revealed this started to talk about starting a family when he was having an intimate moment with his wife. But his wife looked really uncomfortable, and the spark was extinguished. He could see this and pressed her on this issue. What he heard certainly wasn’t what he expected. She told him outright that she doesn’t like kids, and had never even entertained the thought of bringing up her own. She then told him there was no way she was going to get pregnant and raise her own kids, leaving her husband flabbergasted and heartbroken.