There is nothing wrong with a little “eye candy” for the ladies and strong bodies for the fellas to strive for, but when a celeb is all muscle and has little going on between the ears, you have got to wonder if the hot bodies are worth it. Would you rather be super-muscular or have a sharp mind? Naturally, both would be nice, but lots of guys are all about looking good rather than having a respectable IQ. Picking up a barbell is more exciting than picking up an encyclopedia, so these big brawny guys wind up with bulging biceps and bite-sized brains.
Being a celeb does not necessarily require Einstein-level education or intelligence, but knowing a thing or two wouldn’t hurt. Of course, being in movies, on TV, or in the spotlight is all about the visual, so being buff comes before being brainy. Magazine covers love to feature tight abs and toned thighs, not college acceptance letters and invention patents. So plenty of not-so-smart celebs make it big just because they look the part. They may have flunked miserably out of high school, but Hollywood does not require straight As.
Here are 15 fine-formed fellas who are all muscle and no brain… or at least that is how they come across. Perhaps they really are smart, but hold back so they do not ruin their fans’ perception of them as sex symbols. They may not bring much to the table, but they sure bring us to the box office!
15. Mike Tyson
Mike Tyson has been on the boxing scene for as long as we can remember, and he has also seen his fair share of trouble with the law. The 5’ 10” 51-year-old is still popular, although his fighting days have tapered off. His body is buff, making him a great boxer, but too many blows to the head have made Tyson as far removed from the “teacher’s pet” as a guy can get. That’s OK, as long as Tyson knows how to throw a punch and knock ‘em out. And if he remembers that ears are not meant for biting, he’ll be just fine. While Tyson must think his facial tattoo looks fantastic, you’ve got to wonder about a person who would permanently ink their mug. But this is Mike Tyson we’re talking about. He probably thought it would wash off in the shower.
14. Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino
Jersey Shore fans surely know all about “The Situation,” AKA Mike Sorrentino. He is now 35-years-old and no longer drinks himself senseless on reality television, but who could forget the drunken nights and equally drunken days with roomies Snooki and JWoww? Sorrentino loved to show off his buff body to the girls at the hottest Jersey clubs, go tanning ‘till crisp, and do his laundry with his buddies. He couldn’t get enough of himself, but after a while, his fans did. Six seasons of the MTV hot mess was plenty. Sorrentino surely worked on getting his body into prime condition, but he never picked up a book and probably couldn’t balance his checking account. But you can’t fault the fella too much. Most people would love to get paid to hook up on camera and “smoosh” as many Jersey girls as possible.
13. Chris Brown
Singer and actor Chris Brown is talented, but his bad behavior is what makes headlines. His stupid antics and criminal history prove that even for a guy who seems to have it all, he can’t get his act together. Brown is now 28-years-old, but his immature attitude still gets him in hot water. After the Rihanna incident, Brown was busted, and we thought he would have learned his lesson. But still, Brown is no all-American boy-next-door and probably never will be. Heck, most people would be seriously alarmed if he actually did move in next door to them. All that aside, Brown seems to keep his body in good shape and loves to show off his hours spent in the gym by baring his abs whenever possible. Fans still love him, but none have claimed to have carried on an intellectual conversation with the dude.
12. Kris Humphries
Pro basketball player Kris Humphries was decently popular with sports fans, but once he was linked to reality bombshell Kim Kardashian, his fame skyrocketed. They got together, got married, but then divorced just 72 days later, making theirs one of the shortest marriages in celeb history. He probably ran out of things to talk about. As many of us watched on Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Humphries was not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. His doofus-like demeanor and evident lack of intellect came across as clear as day, yet Kim still seemed to be smitten with her 6’ 11” stud. He may be handsome and muscular, but his brain just can’t keep up… with the Kardashians or anything else, for that matter. But as long as he can shoot hoops, he’ll be A-OK.
11. Jax Taylor
38-year-old Jax Taylor is one of the stars of Bravo’s Vanderpump Rules. He is a bartender/model who continually screws up his love life by cheating on the gullible gal he is with at the time. He is a terrible liar and always gets caught doing idiotic things like stealing sunglasses and sleeping with his best friend’s girlfriend. While the ladies are attracted to his good looks and muscle-bound body, his intelligence seems to be non-existent. Sure, it is fun to watch Taylor squirm on television, but at 38-years-old, you would think he would have learned from his mistakes by now. Maybe when Taylor hits the ripe old age of 40, he will turn his life around. ‘Till then, we will tune into Bravo to see what the buff bonehead messes up next.
10. Ryan Lochte
Olympic-level swimmer, Ryan Lochte, is now 33-years-old and has 12 medals under his belt… or Speedos in his case. He is 6’ 2” and 186 lbs. Lochte’s great looks and super-fit body make him easy on the eyes, but there is not much going on behind his eyes. Swimming takes plenty of strength and stamina, hard training and discipline, so Lochte is a winner in that department. But ask him to recite Shakespeare or give you change of a $20, and you will see nothing but a blank stare right back at ya. These days, Lochte is engaged to a former Playboy model Kayla Rae Reid and is the dad of a baby boy. Let’s hope he gets his mom’s smarts. She can’t possibly be more dim-witted than her fiancé.
9. Nick Viall
Fans of the reality dating show The Bachelor surely know all about last season’s main squeeze, Nick Viall. He is tall, dark, and handsome, with a fit body he wasn’t shy about showing off to all the ladies seeking to become his future wife. The Wisconsin native is suave and sexy, but some may argue that he isn’t the smartest fella to emerge from The Bachelor franchise. He may have the moves and know how to play the game, but whether he knows much else is up for debate. He can reel in the ladies, but can’t seem to keep them. Perhaps they grow bored of looking at his abs and want a man with more depth. Viall may keep trying to find the love of his life, but from the viewer’s perspective, he is only in love with himself.
8. Ronnie Ortiz-Magro
Another Jersey Shore muscle-head is none other than Ronnie Ortiz-Magro. Spending time with his cast mates in the house of sloppy sins seemed fun while it lasted, but Ortiz-Magro came off as temperamental and moody, making us wonder if he really enjoyed being there. He is now 32-years-old, so perhaps he has calmed down some since his days spent drinking himself senseless with “The Situation,” but it would be hard to imagine a cool and collected version of the Jersey Shore show-off. Ortiz-Magro worked out a lot and probably still does, making his biceps and quads big and bulky. What’s not as big is his IQ, but nobody’s perfect. Maybe one day he will look back at the old footage from the MTV hit and try to better himself. He does have a kid on the way, so let’s hope he matures before his child learns all the wrong lessons from daddy.
7. Hulk Hogan
Can you believe that former wrestler, Hulk Hogan, is now 64-years-old? The mustached muscle-bound beefcake is a dad of two grown children and is one of the most famous faces of wrestling the world has ever known. He was once praised for his stamina and prowess in the ring, but more recently, Hogan made headlines due to his lawsuit against Gawker. But any sort of press is good press, no? In any event, as popular as Hogan may be, he has never been known for his brains. His body was often topic for discussion, but intellect was never part of the equation. Getting pummeled in the ring and knocked upside the head is only going to make a person less on-the-ball, so let’s chalk up Hogan’s less-than-savvy personality with the side effects of wrestling.
6. Dennis Rodman
Basketball star Dennis Rodman is probably one of the wackiest and weirdest people to ever land himself in the NBA, but with his over-the-top persona and attention-seeking ways, Rodman would not have it any other way. With numerous facial and body piercings, a unique fashion sense, ever-changing hairstyles and colors, and always-questionable behavior, Rodman is not your typical basketball player (or human being, for that matter) but he certainly keeps people on their toes wondering what he will do next. While he seems to be an interesting individual, some may argue that he is not completely with it in the noggin’. At 56-years-old, Rodman still makes headlines, but mostly, he makes heads turn. While never boring (to say the least), we are not sure if Rodman is brainy or bananas.
5. Justin Bieber
23-year-old pop superstar, Justin Bieber, is surely as famous as it gets and is very musically talented, but he has done many things thus far in life that has us questioning if he is as smart as he is successful. He gets in trouble and does lots of immature stuff, even for a 23-year-old who should know better. Sure, being a young millionaire is something most people will never achieve, but is it luck or something more? Yes, Bieber can belt out a catchy tune and his female fans swoon over him, but their admiration has little to do with his intellect. These girls love his boyish good looks and six-pack abs. They aren’t looking for a philosophical discussion with the singer/songwriter, they just want to jump in the sack with him. Move over Selena!
4. Casper Smart
Despite his last name, Casper Smart seems like he is not particularly smart, making it an unfortunate and ironic surname. The California native may have landed the amazing Jennifer Lopez, but she likely adored the much-younger backup dancer for his buff body and dance floor moves. If she wanted intellectual conversation, she would not have mixed business with pleasure and would have sought out a businessman, lawyer, or doctor instead. While the pair called it quits, Smart still remains part of J. Lo’s clique, or so it seems. Does A-Rod like the idea that Smart snagged his woman first? Who knows, but Rodriguez gets the last laugh with “Jenny From the Block” on his bulging bicep. Smart may be sexy, sweet, and sculpted, but perhaps his lack of braininess caused Lopez to leave him.
3. Tom Brady
40-year-old world-famous football player, Tom Brady, may be a force on the field, but he does not seem like he did as well on the SATs as he did in the NFL thus far. Although Brady may not be particularly brainy, he is surely in great shape and is wildly talented on the field. And most men would trade in a million brain cells if they had the chance for even one night with Brady’s beautiful wife, supermodel Gisele Bundchen. Married since 2009, the Brazilian bombshell must not care much about deep conversation as long as she can enjoy her man’s taut and toned physique. Brady may have the moves on the field, but chess moves? Not nearly as swift. He’s rich and famous though, proving muscles do make the man.
2. Zac Efron
Actor Zac Efron is super-hot and wildly famous these days, making the 30-year-old cute and charismatic California native one to watch on the big screen. His muscular body is as ripped as ever, and his fan base is ever-expanding. Ladies are exceptionally crazy for him and the guys think he is super-cool and could only dream of being as fit as he is. The Baywatch star may be beautiful, buff, and brawny, but notice we are not mentioning anything about his braininess, or lack thereof. Is he all muscle and no mind, or is the six-pack-sporting stud a scholar on the down low? Ask most girls and they would not care if Efron had the IQ of a gnat. All they care about is his washboard abs and tempting triceps.
1. Mario Lopez
44-year-old actor and TV host, Mario Lopez, may be good on camera, but would be as good at taking an IQ test? He is charming and cute, with his sweet signature dimples and delightful bright white smile, but looking good on camera is all about the lighting and angles, not about the intellect. Reading a script and delivering lines requires some skill, but Saved By the Bell was not exactly Shakespeare. But fans adore the muscular Lopez and tune in to watch him talk about celeb gossip and current happenings in the entertainment world. For a guy in his mid-forties, Lopez certainly looks as great as a 20-something, so we can give him props for that. But in a battle of the minds, most would put their money on Ryan Seacrest.
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