We need socialites. If we didn’t have women in this world who went from event to event to point out to us which events fabulous people were attending, we might mistake ourselves for one of those fabulous people. If that were to happen, the world would spin out of control and crash into Venus, and there would be no more Paranormal Activity movies. We can’t have that.
We need cars. How are we going to get from Point A to Point B? In olden times, people rode horses, but in olden times, people also died of all kinds of weird fevers, and we don’t need that kind of stuff anymore. We can’t have that.
We need money. It’s how we buy stuff, and it’s how the people of different countries remember who their presidents and prime ministers were.
If you do the math, it’s pretty simple. We need socialites who have cars that cost a lot of money. The world can’t function without them. Yes, clean water and a lack of a police state on commuter airlines may seem important, but it’s probably the idea of a world without women with blank looks standing next to amazing machinery that wakes you in the dead of the night. It’s with that fear in mind that we present this list of 15 Hot Socialites Who Like Expensive Cars. Rest well.
15 Somebody in Hollywood needs to hire this woman
You may get the wrong idea that we don’t like socialites based on some of the comments we make on this list. But what we really don’t like is freeloaders, and there’s one thing for sure we can say about Chia Kougianos: this girl earns every bit of her socialite title, and we’d be proud for our daughters, sisters... even our mothers to look up to her. She’s the editor-in-chief of The Socialite website at TheSocialite.co.za and has been covering events and celebrity interviews since 2010 in a way that Hollywood news and entertainment websites should take notice. It’s possible to be entertaining and informative and not talk down to your audience. It doesn’t hurt that Chia is also one of those women who somehow pull off being amazingly beautiful but seem like the kind of girls who would be fun to hang out with at a baseball game and you wouldn’t want to kill three hours into a long road trip. The site and her blogs do an awesome job covering cars, and you can tell she knows her stuff. Here she is with the BMW i8.
14 In Russia, Yuliana is super crazy rich
So we don’t know a lot about this Russian model named Yuliana, except that she’s Russian and that she’s smoking hot. And her Instagram account has an email address, but we’re not going to email her and conduct an interview. We have enough self-awareness to recognize she’s out of our league. And it’s not just because of the sweet Ferrari 458 Spider she’s behind in this photo. She’s driving a 2015 version here, and according to Cars.com, depending on exactly how you trick it out, it can run anywhere between $236,996 and $321,836. Now, in the United States, that’s a lot of money, but in Russia, it’s a crazy lot of money.
13 We’ll always have Paris
For an entire generation, Paris Hilton introduced the idea of a socialite who was pretty enough to be cute, but you could see she clearly poured a lot of money into it, so she became beautiful to enough people that it mattered when a videotape was released showing her having sex with the guy who made those Girls Gone Wild videos. Remember when those were a thing? Remember when a leaked “celebrity” video was rare? Simpler times. Aside from the fact that we’ll always remember her as the person who unleashed the cancer that is the Kardashian family onto the world, we’re mostly going to remember her as the vapid girl who, as the Hilton hotel heiress, got whatever she wanted, including a pink Bentley Continental GT. It was like Barbie and her dream car came to life, except Barbie has a better figure and probably would do better on Jeopardy.
12 It’s just a car, right?
So, if you’re completely full of crap, you can become a socialite or you can get into marketing. If you’re not already super rich and can afford the kind of plastic surgery, makeup, and hair people to make you passably good looking, we’re going to suggest marketing. If you need an example of what we mean, we suggest you look at what the experience of driving a Lamborghini Aventador (they named it after a famous bull) like Kylie Jenner is seen driving in this photo. According to the company’s website, “every detail of the Aventador Coupé has been conceived to embody the purest DNA of Lamborghini: a true design gem that expresses dynamism and aggression, which has made the carbon-fiber monocoque the symbol of the innovation from our R&D department. The result is a car that offers a truly unforgettable driving experience. The adrenaline remains even after turning off the engine.” We just threw up in our mouth a little bit.
11 Hanging out with daddy’s rides
Well, at least DJ Cuppy has a job, right? She’s not really one of those serious DJs…. more one that knows how to manipulate a turntable between clicking on MP3s on her laptop. But hey, if we were the socialite daughter of a Nigerian business mogul, we don’t know that we’d feel the need to rise to the top of our industry either. The real-life named Ife Otedola can be found like most “Rich Kids of…” playing with little dogs and her father’s cars when she’s not trying on beachwear. Thankfully, she still finds time to mingle with other rich and famous people. Her boyfriend, professional soccer star Victor Anichebe, bought his beauty a Mercedes Benz G Wagon at the end of 2016 as either an early Christmas gift or just because he’s disgustingly rich and she’s disturbingly hot.
10 Did you ever notice they always stand next to a car the same way?
Olivia Palermo, who has nailed the modern-day socialite thing, is able to make a living by being a “brand ambassador” and “teaming” with companies ranging from Shutterfly to Banana Republic while appearing as herself on reality shows and TV competitions yet still having no discernible talent. She good looking, yeah, but we think it’s just the work of well-paid makeup people. Here, she's seen “examining” the Wraith by Rolls Royce when we know she probably doesn’t care as long as their check doesn’t bounce. If you’re interested in this car with its tagline “inspired by fashion,” then you’ll just have to find $315,700. The gas mileage sucks, getting only 13 mpg in the city and 21 on the highway, but if you’re seriously driving this car on the highway, you might as well just be burning piles of money.
9 Win a car and a supermodel, sort of
A lot of these socialites are crazy rich because of daddy and know nothing about cars. A lot are crazy rich and still not crazy rich enough to own the cars they're leasing to have photos with -- images which they'll flood the Internet and magazines with, for sure. And then there are those who are smart, like Gigi Hadid, who has parlayed her socialite status into real money-making opportunities. In 2016, BMW signed up the model for their digital ad blitz for the BMW M2 Coupé. The campaign featured a “find the super hot chick” game where you try to figure out which car you’ll likely never be able to afford the girl you’ll never be able to date is hiding in. It puts your pathetic life into perspective, especially when you lose. When you win, it’s just like rubbing salt into wounds. But if you want to play, the game and the other features are at EyesonGigi.com, along with how the entire thing was made.
8 Ecclestone revvvvvvvvs our engines
Tamara Ecclestone is a socialite who was born and bred to be married with high-performance automobiles unlike a lot of these women on this list who are about as useful to an automobile as the ornament on their hood. She’s the daughter of Bernie Ecclestone, former CEO of the Formula One group, and model Slavica Ecclestone and has made most of her fame either being hot or doing something with a car -- or usually a combination of the two, as seen above. She’s done television shows like Red Bull Air Race World Series, World of Fame, and The Race. She also starred in her own reality show in 2011, Tamara Ecclestone: Billion $$$ Girl. If seeing her with clothes in a Ferrari isn’t doing it for you, the brunette beauty posed in the May 2013 issue of Playboy.
7 You can’t take it with you, or can you?
If you think the vapid socialite phenomenon is something that’s just developed since the rise in popularity of the Internet, you’d be wrong. Being egotistically fabulous for no reason because you’ve not earned a boatload of money has been going on for generations, and few embody it like former Beverly Hills socialite Sandra West, who died of a prescription drug overdose on March 10, 1977. Five years earlier, she wrote into her will that she be buried “next to my husband in my lace nightgown... and in my Ferrari with the seat slanted comfortably.” She was buried that May in San Antonio, Texas, with over 300 people at her funeral, according to reports, although none were family and friends -- just people who wanted to see what being rich and eccentric was like. Aside from the 1964 powder blue Ferrari she was buried in, she left two others above ground when she died.
6 We’d say things got a little out of hand
Guo Meimei has a mother that did OK in the stock market, so she managed to create a lifestyle image of a socialite for herself on the Chinese social media site Weibo. A lot of it was smoke and mirrors, but you girls who take flattering selfies know how that works, right? Fake designer clothes, standing in front of cars that weren’t hers, etc. Eventually, she claimed on her profile that she was an executive with the Chinese Red Cross. That caused a huge uproar because people thought she was stealing from the charity to fund her lavish lifestyle, and she almost singlehandedly took down the organization. For that reason, the authorities started following her closely. It turns out, to help fund her lifestyle, she ran an illegal casino out of a rented apartment during the World Cup in 2014, taking between 3 and 5 percent of each game played. She was also discovered to be charging big bucks for prostituting herself. A year later, she was sentenced to five years in jail and given a steep fine for her crimes. Gotta say, nice Maserati, though!
5 What’s the message Jaguar is sending?
We wish that we could sit in branding and marketing meetings when it comes to some of these major car manufacturers like Jaguar. Or maybe even the focus groups where they get their data from. Along the way, somebody came up with the idea that Lana Del Rey, one of the phoniest (yet hottest... and we love her music - she’s just totally fake, but we’re OK with it) characters created in entertainment in the last 10 years would be perfect to get people to fork over upward of $60,000 for a Jaguar F Type. Jaguar’s Global Brand Director, Adrian Hallmark (sure, that’s your real name... just like "Lana Del Rey" is hers) said the following: “The allure of Jaguar is in large part due to its duality -- a unique blend of authenticity and modernity, two values that we believe are shared with Lana in her professional achievements.” Just say what you mean: “Hey guys who work with computers... buy one of these, and you may be able to land a girl who looks like this.” That’s true, but you’ll need more money for that.
4 A socialite actually into car collecting
When she’s not attaining world peace with the power of a Pepsi can, Kendall Jenner can be found at classic car auctions or cruising the California countryside in one of her newest acquisitions, such as the 1965 Mustang seen in this photo above. She’s gone as far as to compare her love of cars to the addiction some people have to wanting to get tattoos. She told CNN that she’s a tomboy at heart and fell in love with dirt bikers and four-wheelers as a kid before eventually moving onto cars. Living in Los Angeles, one of the most car-centric cities in the world, where people seem to clog the streets just to be seen in their vehicle, probably didn’t hurt things either. We just don’t expect this socialite to be seen driving a Pepsi delivery truck down Ventura Boulevard anytime in the next few months.
3 Remember these douchebags?
Just when you think Americans can't sink any lower, just when you think that they can’t embrace anything vapider, they band together and decide to admire the worst people in the world. Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, moronically remembered at Speidi, was one such creation. First introduced on Laguna Beach, then continued on The Hills, these two had their lives followed and mistakenly believed the rest of us cared. When MTV stopped following them, they kept the camera rolling themselves with cheesy staged paparazzi shoots like the one you see above with a 1969 Camaro 350 SS. It’s a shame such a beautiful car had to have such incredible trash on top of it. Hopefully, whoever let them use it for the shoot got it washed afterward. They tried a non-nude Playboy shoot, the talk show circuit, and reality show appearances, but America wasn’t having it. The last time we saw them was on Celebrity Big Brother in the UK.
2 Is it just the car that we can rent, Courtney?
Yes, this is a beautiful Rolls Royce and is the kind of car most of us may never get to stand next to in real life. Courtney Stodden has clearly made good choices if that was her goal. She would also make a good choice if she’s ever thrown overboard from a yacht and doesn’t know how to swim but wants to remain afloat while waiting for help to arrive. The thing that makes us laugh, though, is that we’re sure she’s there either actually working for Beverly Hills Rent-a-Car, as seen in the banner behind her, or she doesn’t have the media savvy to recognize she’s being photographed with that banner behind her and is going to be mocked on the Internet for it. She probably also has no idea she looks like a social climber standing next to a car that's worth more than what six or seven elementary school teachers earn in a year, and that’s what’s important in this world.
1 Spice up your life with a Range Rover
“Don’t you just love the Range Rover Evoque? I think they may have spelled 'evoke' wrong. Isn’t it brilliant? Isn’t it 'Ranger Rovery'? Did you know I never smile because I’m sullen? I’m Victoria Beckham. Tell me what you want, what you really, really want.” That’s what we would have suggested as the tagline for the Range Rover Evoque, but that’s probably why we don’t work in automobile manufacturing. But we still don’t exactly understand why the person who thought Beckham could sell cars works in it either. Hey, she’s pretty, she’s married to the best damn soccer player ever, and she certainly knows her way around social circles -- but what she has to do with selling an SUV that should never, ever be taken off-road is beyond us. She does, however, look good for someone who must be closer to 50 than 30, we must admit. We’d love to take her for a ride sometime. In the Evoque, of course.
Sources: twitter.com, scmp.com, cnn.com, thesocialite.zo.ca