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15 Hilarious Tinder Profiles That’ll Blow Your Mind

High Life
15 Hilarious Tinder Profiles That’ll Blow Your Mind

Do you know what the hardest part of creating a social media profile is? Yes, you do. It is not choosing the picture or whether or not you should show everyone where you work or study. The part we dread the most in setting up a profile is when whichever program we are using asks us to talk about ourselves. That “about us” part of a profile is by far the hardest for anyone to put together. That said, we know there are some exceptions. Some people love to talk about themselves and find it extremely easy to put together an ‘about me’ page. Nevertheless, as soon as those words pop up on a cell phone or computer screen, the vast majority of us start to panic.

“What if I sound like a jerk?” “What if no one likes the same things as I do?” “What if I’m not funny enough?” “What if I’m a loser?”

The funny part is that those doubts go through the minds of the majority of people who have profiles in apps like Tinder. So, in order to help you out and ease some of that pain, we would like to show some examples of people who have risen past their self-doubt and come up with some of the most amazing Tinder profiles you will ever see. We are 100 percent against copying anyone’s ideas, but we don’t think there is anything wrong with taking some of these fantastic and hilarious Tinder profiles as inspiration if you ever decide to make one of your own.

15. Pretty Lady

Via: dailymail.com.uk

If you have ever been on Tinder in a big city, you know that there are ridiculous amounts of beautiful people, as there are absurd amounts of ugly people crowding the app. We are going on a hunch here and saying that Cee is part of the first group. If not for anything else, those eyes are simply astonishing and put her in a category of her own.

Nevertheless, since there are so many pretty people on Tinder, it is hard to stand out from the crowd. But do you know a good way to stand out? That stash. That stash is just golden, as is the ‘about me’ part of her profile. Sure, we are not crazy enough to believe that the New York Times wrote a piece on her or that she personally knows Chewbacca. But let’s be honest, you at least want to know where she got that stash, don’t you?

14. Guild Leader

Via: boredpanda.com

Hey, don’t judge what you don’t understand. If you were a female 1000 years ago and saw this Tinder profile, you would be running towards this guy. Some people might say that Ryan is a 30-year-old dork, but we think otherwise. We believe that Ryan is a 30-year-old genius. The only problem is that he was born during the wrong era. Imagine if this guy was born in the Middle Ages and he was still 6’3” with a beard like that. He would be some kind of Norse tribal leader, commanding raiding parties across the shores of other European nations. More than that, he has a donkey and a sick helmet. Don’t downplay the value of those.

In a more contemporary sense, a dude like Ryan also has his perks, as he keenly points out in his profile. Ladies, you should never underestimate the value of someone being able to put you on his shoulders during a concert.

13. Psyched Out

Via: boredpanda.com

Well, where to start with this one? Now, should we talk about Vanessa number one, or Vanessa number two? Actually, we have no idea which one is which so will talk about both of them.

Don’t you just love when people say that they want to find a person that is right for them? Someone who is strong mentally and fierce in following their dreams, a.k.a. someone with a strong personality. If that is the name of your game, there is no better place for you to find your significant other than in a place where people have many personalities.

Hey, don’t laugh now, this is serious. If you are looking for strong personality, where do you think it would be easier to find it? With a person who only has one personality or with someone who has multiple? Somewhere in that crowd inside Vanessa’s head, must be the gal you are looking for. Or not. Don’t take our word for it.

12. Jesus

Comparing yourself to historic figures is something that is not weird at all. We see politicians do it all the time. They constantly try to live up to standards set by people from the past and things like that. Religious folks are also individuals who look up to people from the past. The great teaching of the Catholic Church is that you should follow the example Jesus set when he was on Earth. The same goes for Mohammed, as it is for Buddha and all the other great figures of religion around the world.

But what would you do if you ever came across a Tinder profile of Jesus? Yes, yes, we know some religious people might be incredibly offended by this, but after you get past that hurdle, you cannot deny that this is hilarious. Hell, the dude is literally turning water into wine in his profile picture. What more can you ask of a guy?

11. The Puppy

Via: entertainment.ie

We don’t know how this all started, but we are fairly certain that the first man who used a puppy to pick up girls was nothing less than a genius. Sure, there are no ethics involved in this action, but, as many ladies have found out, the majority of dudes who do this don’t care that much about ethics.

There is a silver lining though. Most of the devious guys who got a puppy with the sole intent of using them to pick up girls (you better believe there are some people like that out there), end up becoming better people because of it. If you are a cat person, you might not understand this, but having a dog can change someone for the better. Those little furry pals really are man’s best friend. Then again, we could be reading between the lines too much. That could just be the profile of a dog who developed sentience and made a Tinder profile for himself.

10. Cookie Monster

Via: pinterest.com

What? Were you really expecting someone dressed as Cookie Monster from Sesame Street? Well, we are sure that if we looked hard enough, we could totally find someone fitting that description, but we decided to go with a more unique profile.

This might not be the cookie monster you are used to, but this is the kind of cookie monster you will find in real life. The paradox here is hilarious. One of them is a monster that is obsessed with eating cookies. Meanwhile, the other is a man, who might also be obsessed with eating cookies, but instead decided to wear them. We said paradox because if Will over here had the same sick need for cookies that cookie monster does, he would end up going broke. After all, it cannot be cheap to have to buy a new cookie suit every time you get hungry. Cookie talk aside, we have to admit this is one of the funniest profile pictures you could ever find on Tinder.

9. That Dose of Reality

The title said it all. For some people, that ‘about me’ description could be hilarious, while for other folks it will cause outrage. Either way, it would be hypocritical to deny that there is some truth behind what this fierce woman said. We decided to go with fierce over there because she definitely caught some heat from a feminist friend or two after they saw her Tinder profile.

Nevertheless, we decided to add this little gem because sometimes the truth can be a good way to go about your profile. More than that, you don’t even have to talk about yourself. In the introduction of this article, we argued about how a lot of us have problems and struggle to find ways to describe ourselves. So what better way of avoiding that problem than writing about a completely unrelated subject? It can be controversial, but you can’t deny that Moata certainly got a few more rights swipes because of her creative intro.

8. No Way

Via: fella.com

Right at the beginning of this piece, we said that one of the things people ponder upon creating new profiles on apps like Tinder is deciding whether or not they should mention the place they work. So let us just be very blunt with this one. If you are a funeral director, maybe try to find a different way of telling someone that, instead of putting it as the first thing they would see after checking out your face.

Nothing against funeral directors or embalmers, those are essential professions that are necessary for our society to function properly. Still, you can’t deny that there is a certain stigma that surrounds people whose work is all about death. Sure you can be proud of your work, but that doesn’t change the fact that a lot of people will check the tagline out and instantly swipe left. As with everything else, however, there is a silver lining here. If someone swipes right and they’re actually interested, you are more than halfway there, buddy.

7. About Jeremy

Via: dorkly.com

Come on, man. This is old news. Who here has not stolen a mannequin from a clothing store and ran away to Vegas to marry it? Wait, you did? Damn, we were just kidding, dog. You should get checked out at the local psych clinic. Wait, the people in Vegas really let you marry the mannequin? What is wrong with the world?

So it appears that Jeremy is not the only crazy fellow out there who has taken hefty doses of LSD and ran off to take a long walk on the beach with his girlfriend, who was actually a mannequin. Hilarious as it sounds, this joke is a great icebreaker to put on your Tinder profile. Still, we wouldn’t doubt that something like this could actually happen in real life. After all, the CIA has experimented on people using crazy amounts of LSD before. Don’t you believe it? Check out this article we had on the subject.

6. Savage

Via: blazepress.com

Holy moly, this was the burn of the century. What kind of a friend does this to someone else? Come on Kelly, if you were friendly enough with this poor woman to smile next to her and put it on your profile picture, you should at least ease off on the burn and tell the truth during a conversation rather than on your ‘about me’.

It is almost like a piece of our soul gets ripped off with every chuckle we let out when looking at this picture. It is too savage, it is too mean, but it is too funny. You cannot help but laugh at it. And then we get to wonder about other things. What did this “friend” do to Kelly so that she would be this savage on her Tinder profile? After all, it is no long shot that if those two are Facebook friends, one of their shared friends could actually rat Kelly out after seeing this.

5. The King

Via: memecdn.com

You have to admit; not many people can pull off a Fedora, like our buddy Dan over here. Sometimes it is fair to write something that does not even remotely has to do with you on your Tinder profile, but sometimes you can take the example of Dan and write literally everything there is to know about you. First and foremost, we can quickly point out and realize that this guy is a fan of the Fedora look just by glancing at his profile picture. With that image, we also get a sense that he either likes to work out a lot or has a motorcycle. Because if none of those are true and he uses gloves like that on the regular, that is just disturbing.

Gloves aside, Dan pretty much gave away half of his personality in the introduction, but we have one suggestion to give him. If you are constantly getting friendzoned, one advice someone should have given you by now is to lose those gloves. Seriously, man, they are just weird.

4. Cat Lady

Via: 10worthy.com

Controversy Alert. We’re not going to pull any punches here. This is a hilarious profile, but one that makes it easy for us to point out a few flaws many ladies out there think are actually perks.

First of all, the crazy cat lady look is not really that attractive. Perhaps one day you will find a guy who really likes to spend time with your cats and hearing you talk about your cats. The reality, however, is that most dudes are not big fans of cats. Just think about it for a second. Think about the last time you brought a gentleman friend over to meet your cat. How sincere were they really? Did the cat help keep them around or did they stay in spite of the cat? The good thing here is that if they stayed in spite of the cat, you must be an angel of a woman.

Other than that, this Tinder profile is almost too disturbing. And seriously, we will probably have nightmares about that human faced cat profile picture.

3. You Play The Cards You Get

Via: pinterest.com

You see this a lot in high school movies. The girls always want to hang out with the guys who have the nice cars or play on the football team and stuff like that. Unfortunately, not all guys have the financial stability or even want to have a car. Financial security or otherwise, not having a car can end up hindering a man’s ability to score a Tinder date. That doesn’t sound fair, but it is the truth. Girls like guys with cars.

One way to go around that was what Jamie did. This guy is a genius. What is the best way not to have something used against you? Wear it like a badge. No one is ever going to make fun of you for something that you are proud of. There is no problem in not having a car, just find a way around it. One of these methods, apparently, is to use horses and carriages when taking girls out on dates. And hey, no one can deny that this is one hell of a romantic way to start a date.

2. Magic

Via: imgur.com

This dude is a centaur. We don’t even have to say anything else. If you are a centaur, you have won at life. What kind of a regular guy would ever be able to compete against a centaur? Now, we are not sure how much prejudice women would have against centaurs. And, for the sake of keeping this article PG, we will not get into the specifics, but we will break down Ryan’s ‘about me’ page.

An iffy John Lennon quote to start? We can live with that, that’s solid. Following that with the above average height (for a human, we are not quite sure if 6’3” would qualify him as tall in the centaur society) and the fact that he showers regularly are sturdy pieces of information that play to his advantage. A reader who is also a charming and good talker, can run a mile under six minutes, volunteers at the zoo (or maybe he lives there), who also threw our argument that most men don’t like cats out of the window by saying he likes kittens; yeah, this guy seems like quite the catch.

1. The Truth

Via: buzzfeed.com

Nothing can beat the truth. Nathan right here has arguably the best Tinder profile ever. First of all, if you are an ugly fella, there is nothing better to work on than your personality. Hollywood has told us, society has told us, and women have told us that nothing makes up for bad looks more than a golden personality. If you can make a girl laugh over and over again, you are halfway there. So, in our books, it doesn’t matter if Nathan is actually a third duck, a third taco, and a third man. He is funny enough to score seven digits in any area code.

More than that, how often can you find someone who can say the truth and nothing but the truth in as hilarious a way as he did? Like, we don’t even need to get married or have a serious relationship. We can just enjoy the ride while you help someone convinced their family that there is nothing wrong with them. After all, we have all been there, haven’t we?

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