If we were to name things that could not be funny in any way, product labels would be pretty near the top. Natural disasters, murders, and terrorist attacks win by a large margin, but in the category that does not include these life-ending tragedies, product labels are a pretty good contestant. These are usually instructions that product makers have to write on the back or tags of their items in order to stay in compliance with safety regulations and rules of government control agencies.
These are those boring things you find yourself compelled to read whenever you are stuck in a place without your phone, which is most often the toilet. Nevertheless, it turns out that some product instructions and tags can be rather entertaining. We don’t know how or when product makers started to do stuff like this, but we have a newfound respect for these guys and gals because of the hidden entertainment they have provided to the more detail-oriented customers. Some of these might be embarrassing for some people. Others are blatantly disrespectful to a large group of people (pun intended). But at the end of the day, if you are a good sport, these are some of the most hilarious hidden gems you could find where you least expect.
15 Very Funny… (Mocked By Jeans...)
You know you have a problem when your clothing starts to mock you. Seriously, we are not kidding. This is exactly how it seems. In what was perhaps one of the most hilarious moves by a clothing maker, these people decided to mock the good folks who buy their XL jeans or whatever kind of clothing article that is. Here is where we could get into a whole discussion of how inappropriate this is and how these people should be more respectful about how they treat their customers or how they should not fat-shame anybody. But then again, we are looking at the funny side of things. And come on, even the XXXL people know that watching one of them try on a small clothing article would be funny. Wait, are we allowed to say that? Well, sorry if you got offended. It was not our intention. But you gotta admit, it would be funny.
14 The Correct Safety Measures For Cotton And Polyester
Safety should always be at the forefront of our minds. In anything you do in your life, you should always consider what the most important safety precautions you should take in conducting that activity are. For example, if you go bungee jumping, you should let someone go first just to make sure that the rope is not going to break; or worse, to make sure it is not too long. Nobody wants to be the one kissing the floor. It might not be so fun for the first person, but that shouldn’t be your problem, right?
The same goes for other kinds of activities like cooking and even doing your laundry. Believe it or not, there are people who need to be warned about some of the most ridiculous things. For example, you should keep your clothes away from fire, especially while you are wearing them.
13 Instructions, Instructions, Instructions
These are called product instructions for a reason. Let’s just say you are trying to mail a very important document that cannot be folded or harmed in any kind of way. One of your main concerns is whether or not the mail person will be careful enough not to destroy your precious document while it is en route to whomever you sent it. One of the easiest ways to do that is to write out a bunch of instructions the mail people should follow on the envelope. Of course, the odds of them reading these instructions are very low.
So, you might as well try to give them some life advice while you’re at it. Perhaps they might be more open to following your instructions if you give them something valuable, like advice on not locking their keys inside the car or wearing white socks with black shoes.
12 The Clothing Strikes Again
It turns out that clothing articles are a perfect place for witty product makers to entertain their customers. It is always a good laugh when you find something funny written on the label of your shirt. That is unless you are the kind of person the clothing makers are making fun of. In this instance, we are totally behind the people who wrote the funny phrase on this product label. If you are buying a shirt, you should at least try to keep it on at all times. Come on, at least while you are not at home, you should be respectful to other people.
Nobody likes that guy who always takes off his shirt in the most inadequate of places. Here is a little food for thought: if you are going to take your shirt off anyway, why put it on in the first place?
11 Mind-Reading Mouthwash
One of the biggest things that have changed with the advent of the cellphone and other technologies is how people use the bathroom. Back in the day, most folks used to just hit the can and wait for their body to do whatever they wanted to do while looking absentmindedly at the wall or whatever else was in the bathroom. That sounds boring. And that is why we love cellphones. Don’t try to play dumb with us. We all know you use your smartphone while you are dumping a number two in the toilet. Everyone does it, don’t they?
Either way, this mouthwash company knows very well that the only reason a person today is going to read the product description on the back of the item is if they forgot their smartphone. Don’t worry, they are probably not spying on you right now. Or are they?
10 Ouch, That Hurt (Mocked By A Pair Of Pants...)
It is one thing when your friends and family make fun of you for still living with your mom while you are 30 or 35 years old. It is another thing for the pants you just bought to do the same. No one should be mocked by their pants. That is one of those career-ending moves. At the same time, we are not sure how often this particular product label would hit home to the person who bought them. Maybe if they are selling this at a Renaissance fair or something like that, it could hit a higher percentage of people who still live with their moms, but it is still savage AF.
Although we have to admit that the punchline is pretty good, since if you are someone who wears a size small, there is a good chance that your parents’ basement will look more spacious.
9 Feel Bad For Me - Polok
So, we have seen almost all kinds of product labels that come with clothing articles. The vast majority are those with several instructions on how to use a product. There are also the ones that mock the customer for whatever reason the makers had of making a joke. This, however, is the first time we see a product label of a shirt that seems hell-bent on making you feel bad for it. Well, you would need to be a heartless beast in order to not wash this shirt correctly after reading the heartfelt plea in the product label.
There are just a few instructions you must follow in order to keep this little friend of yours alive. So, why not just follow them? Don’t put them in the dryer, don’t iron them, and please, do not bleach them.
8 What Not To Do
Following the same line of thought of our last entry, this is another clothing article that seems keen on telling its user what not to do with them. It starts off with the classic phrase that you should wash them inside out with cold/warm water. Those are the basic instructions your mom should have told you to follow as soon as you left home the first time to live on your own. This product tag, however, goes a bit further in telling you things you should not do with it while wearing it.
For example, by now, we should all know that we should not put clothes like these in the dryer or use bleach. But did you know that you should not bungee jump with these shorts? Also, you might want to try and refrain from eating them. Who the hell buys these?
7 Top Gear
The people from Top Gear are pretty legendary. We all know the TV show and how awesome it has been for more than a decade on television. Even people who are not gearheads have watched Top Gear at some point. And whether you would like to admit it or not, you liked it a little bit, didn’t you?
Don’t worry, your little secret is safe with us. But entertaining on television is not the only thing the people who work with Top Gear are good at. It turns out that they are also pretty good at making product labels. When you buy Top Gear shirts, you are probably just buying it because of the logo. At the same time, that is not the only thing you get. It turns out that sometimes, you can get witty lines on your product label like this one. We just wonder what kind of animals they tested these shirts on.
6 A Manly Product
This is kind of a hypocritical product label. We hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but we might delve into a somewhat “machismo-centric” place right now. No, we are not going to make fun of anyone for anything, but we are going to talk about the stereotype a little bit. When you think about a manly man (yes, we are talking about Sylvester Stallone in Rambo or Chuck Norris in anything he has done throughout his glorious life), what is the last thing you think these guys would use?
We know there are several answers to this question, but near the top of that list would be something on the ballpark of hemp moisturizer. Yeah, could you imagine Chuck Norris with soft skin? No, his skin is probably as rugged as the hull of an old pirate ship. So maybe the men who use this product do need some instructions.
5 Cards Against Cheney
If you ever played Cards Against Humanity, you know it is one of the least politically-correct games ever created. Actually, it might be one of the least politically-correct things ever made. This is the kind of game that could make a swastika-wearing Ku Klux Klan member feel sick while playing it. That is just the kind of game it is. And, for what it's worth, CAH is one of the most entertaining card games we have ever come across. Just be sure that if you are someone who is easily offended by less-than-pleasing remarks, this is probably not the game for you.
At the same time, if you are one of those people, we really want you playing this game so that you send all of your complaints and legal threats to none other than former VP Dick Cheney.
4 Wait, What?
What the hell is going on here? Do you guys have any idea what kind of cream this is? Does it burn through your scalp and your skull? Because that is the only reason we could imagine there would be for the product label to explicitly state that you should avoid contact with your brain and surrounding membranes.
Wow, if you need to use something like this, you must be really messed up. Like, you have today’s equivalent of leprosy in the Middle Ages. No kind of skin rash should lead you to a point where you would be willing to use a cream that could damage your brain. Then again, this is probably all just a joke. But you should probably follow the instructions and keep the cream away from your brain just to be safe.
3 For New Parents
This is one product description made for terrible parents. We get that having a child can really cramp your style, but you should at least be careful enough to take your kid out of his or her clothes before putting them in the washing machine. Just to be sure, we are talking about putting the clothes in the washing machine, not the children. Yeah, this might sound stupid to some people, but a product maker did think that they should add this specific instruction to one of their items.
It might sound far-fetched, but do you really think there was not some parent, somewhere in the world, who at some point forgot to take their kid out of their clothes before throwing them in the washer? Yeah, you’re probably right, no one is that stupid.
2 What Did You Just Buy?
Another advice we want to give our dear readers is that you should really look at the product labels before you buy an item. Let’s just say that this is a good way to avoid buying a gremlin shirt. Not as in a shirt that has the picture of a gremlin in front, but as in a shirt that if you feed it after midnight, it will eventually become a monster and try eating you and your entire family. Also, you might want to make sure that you do not iron this 100 percent gremlin-cotton shirt or you could piss off the beast living inside of it. Do not dry-clean it either because that will just make it even angrier.
This must be a really cool shirt for people to go through this much trouble in order to wear it. Another bright side of it is that, unlike other shirts, it seems like you can use bleach on this one. Just remember to use the non-chlorine one.
1 Washing Machine Problems
Since a lot of the entries on this list involved instructions that should be followed when putting particular clothing items in the washing machine, we thought it would be fair that we dedicate an entire entry to a washing machine. It might seem like a very simple domestic appliance at first, but there are so many things that can go wrong when you use a washing machine. Some people really need reminders as to what they should and should not do near these most conventional of home appliances.
As foolproof as it might seem, you should always remember to keep from pushing other people into washing machines. You might think they don’t fit in there, but they actually do. On the off chance that you are a serial killer, murder by washing machine is probably a good one to put on your bucket list. Don’t quote us on that, though.