There’s so much planning involved when it comes to vacations– the destination, the budget and finally, the Holy Grail: the hotel. Getting the right room in the right hotel with the right view and at the right price makes all the difference as to whether your vacation will be an awesome memory or an epic fail. And getting that one bad room has happened to all of us at least once, and it’s enough to make us wary of the next vacation. But if you thought that your bad experience was an epic one, you just see what these poor travellers had to endure in the name of vacations!
Hotels are run by humans too, so the human error factor is very apparent in many hotel gaffes. Sometimes it’s a staircase to nowhere, another time it’s one very strange view when you pull open the drapes. The name of the hotel can be a hilarious misnomer or the room itself could be horrible. You could book one room and end up with another, or have a door that just gets stuck at the wrong time and in the wrong place. The hot tap could pour out icy water and vice versa, and the walk-in wardrobe could actually end up being a tiny balcony. There’s no limit to the epic fails that hotels could put us through– but your disaster of a vacation could be hilarious fodder on the internet. Here are some awful hotels that may make you terrified of vacations.
15. When That Wonderful Beach View Is Blocked By The Room Wall!
If you were promised a hotel room with a view, you expect a marvellous beach or a cloudy mountain to glisten invitingly at you when you pull aside those drapes. You expect to breathe in that fresh air but end up choking at the view instead. This is what happened to this person who booked a hotel in Cambodia, expecting a sea view and got a wall instead! Why the hotel advertised rooms with a view and gave him a prison room instead, albeit with a set of drapes, is beyond common sense. And it isn’t likely to leave the customer happy or increase the hotel’s online rating as well. It’s obvious from the rather funny picture here that someone erred very badly, leaving the customer with the very close view of the wall.
14. When That Cozy Nook Demands A Death-Defying Stunt For Access
Some hotel rooms have the nicest and coziest nooks that beckon you to come and take a load off, and maybe sip a nice hot cuppa or a tall cold drink. You could nestle into that comfy chair, plug in your Gameboy or Kindle and have a good game or read, all within the privacy of your room sweet room. The nook here is pretty inviting, except only Spiderman or Superman and their respective escorts could swoop in and out of this neck-breaking fall of a corner. Or maybe Tarzan, only no vines here! Basically, this is a devious nook built in for superheroes to come and take a load off in. Mere mortals are likely to break their very mortal necks trying to get in or get out of this cozy corner.
13. A Sink That Needs Some Really Serious Adjustments For That Perfect Water
The entire idea of a vacation is to relax your body, soul, and brain too! You don’t want to think too much– you want to spend lazy hours at the beach or active hours in the hills, you want to sip unending cocktails or endless cuppas of detoxifying tea. What you don’t want to do is spend hours at this sink, wondering which knob of which tap to turn to get some water out of the pipes and onto your lathered hands! Or worse, in case you were too buzzed or too zonked to notice, your lathered face and by now badly burning eyes. Either the hotel was designed and built by a madman, or by a masochist who loved to let their guests feel the pain of being all soaped up without any water to wash. Perhaps some genius plumber decided to attach all the leftover taps around the sink as part of some insane, devious décor guaranteed to make you lose your mind.
12. When A Hotel Really Goes Local & Doesn’t Know English: Just Read The Name!
Okay, so sometimes hotels do have boringly inane names. Like a hotel on Sunset Beach is called the Sunset Beach resort. Yep, lame. But sometimes, the names are terribly creative as well. You may check into the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel thinking of sunshine and flowers all around, and you might end up in a dingy little place that looks like a sty and smells like a barn. But then this hotel takes the cake. What do you say to a hotel owner who has named the hotel in his language, but it sounds terribly offensive in English? While it’s great to like your native language, and it’s admirable to want to name your business using local dialect, you should really put in some research in the name, lest you end with something that turns into an internet meme. And when it comes to hotels, bad publicity is just bad. It will not make you popular with guests.
11. When The Hotel Gives You Wi-Fi But Doesn’t Really Want You To Use It…
Remember Mary Poppins? Well, she really did sing “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,” and it really is an actual word in the Oxford dictionary that means extraordinarily good. So if you just bit into a hot dog that tastes like it’s from heaven, then you can compliment the chef by saying that you had a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious meal, even if the chef is left scratching the chef’s hat in utter confusion! That said, this hotel really doesn’t want the guests to use the WiFi considering they used this very, very long word as a password and to top it, used incorrect spellings too! The hotel does offer WiFi. Since they can’t refuse to give you the password, they decide to do the next best thing– keep a password that’s so darn difficult to type in the first, second or even tenth go, that you may just well give up and go have a beer instead. Cheers!
10. When The Hotel Knows What You Did Last Summer: Peed In The Pool
The very idea of a vacation relies on hanging out by the pool. However, these pools are often swamped with children. Undoubtedly, the kids here were in for a big disappointment, as the pool was closed for maintenance. The hotel was courteous enough to apologize for the inconvenience as well, considering you couldn’t get into the pool and pee in it. Confused? Well, read the last word of the notice! Yep, the notice might have been put up by one smart aleck of a pool cleaner who knows that the crud that sticks to the bottom is partly made of pee of all the guests who get into the pool. It might also have been put up by a dummy who does not know enough spelling to figure out the difference between inconvenience and incontinence!
9. When The Hotel Is Actually Run By The Psycho Who Wants You To Trip Down The Stairs
Seriously, that is a staircase that looks like it’s on a bad trip to la-la-land. The carpeting has been done rather viciously. You better be holding onto the handrail and step down very, very carefully, or you will end up bouncing down this staircase of hell on your behind. The carpeting may save you the broken bones, though your ego will surely take a hit or more. Seriously, why go for flooring that weaves in front of sober people’s eyes as well, let alone drunken ones? Illusions look great in the hall of funny mirrors or even on your computer screen, but when these illusions end up on the floor, it’s not funny. Period. We wonder how many guests have actually taken a tumble down these very elusive stairs and hope someone sues the hell out of the owner.
8. When The Hotel Bathroom Is Actually A No-Cost Sauna
Steamy foggy bathrooms feature majorly in any fantasy scenes of teenage boys. Here’s a hotel that makes all those dreams come true. And it doesn’t charge you any money for giving you your own personal sauna either, but it may cost you some sweat-soaked moments of fumbling with the door lock and a few gasping breaths as you try to search for oxygen in that hot, steamy bathroom from hell! We have a sneaking suspicion that the workers, who made this bathroom, took a leaf out of the book from the people who put the drapes on a wall instead of a window. They are basically leaving the guest to choke on the steam and the humidity of the shower. As we said, it’s one free sauna the guests can enjoy free of cost, whether they want it or not!
7. When The Ceiling Of A Room Turns Suggestive All Because You Switched The Darn Lights On
Imagine checking into a hotel room with your young inquisitive kids who pestered you for a vacation until you finally gave in, just to get some peace and quiet. After a day at the beach, you are snuggling up with the tired little darlings who are peacefully watching the TV, until you decided to switch off those bright lights and switch on the mood lamps instead. Imagine you end up with, well, a rather x-rated view of the walls. Again, it’s either that the installer had one wicked sense of humor, or they never really realized the effects the lamp would have on the wall. Your best bet is to keep the lights switched off, and in case the switches are accessible to little hands, just remove the darn bulbs and keep them out of reach of inquisitive hands, until your stay is over. You may put in a complaint to the hotel but well, we can’t really tell you which words to use.
6. When Hotel Ashtrays Become Part Of Moral Policing And Insist On Your Cooperation
When a guest chooses, by his or her own free will, to book a smoking room at a hotel in a city that allows for it, they naturally expect the hotel to comply with the fact that they are willing to go down in a haze of smoke as opposed to a blaze of glory. And so the guest here did book a smoking room and the hotel courteously complied with it. However, the ashtray seemed to have a mind of its own and presented to the guest the age-old question: to smoke or not to smoke? It’s like when a beer pint tells you not to drink, or a burger turns around and tells you to check that cholesterol. It’s just not that cool anymore– though frankly, here the ashtray seems to be doing the smoking guests a big favor.
5. When Hotels Decide To Turn What Clogs Their Drains Into Art And You Have To Look At It
Modern art, progressive art, avant garde art– call it what you will– has often crossed all boundaries of common sense and forayed into realms that are grisly, gross, or just plain gobbledygook! This hotel either ran out of sufficient funding for wall art, or has one very, very creative head janitor. The art piece installed here, well, looks like drain-clogged hair abstractly stuck to a canvas and then framed for posterity’s sake. Perhaps the hotel ran out of money and the final “touches” had to be scrimped and scraped over, quite literally, from the drains. Perhaps the taste of the decorator is a tad bizarre. Frankly, with modern artists wrapping themselves in barbed wire or dropping paint-filled eggs from their nether regions, we are no longer surprised, just mildly revolted. Okay, we are very revolted, especially by this art that looks like someone glued pieces of drain clog onto paper. Just, why?
4. Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Mo – In Which Direction Does My Room Go?
Sometimes hotels do try to make it easier for their guests. But some, in a quest to provide the best service to their guests, really go the whole hog. Here’s one such hotel who helpfully posted a sign to tell the guests in which direction they should turn to get to their home away from home. Or did it? Which way are we supposed to go? The arrow on the right points to the right and the arrow below points to the left. Am I supposed to look to the right or the left for directions, or to the top and bottom? This sign needs arrows pointing to its arrows, if you know what we mean. Far from making any sense, the sign is utter nonsense and needs to be trashed. Maybe they should put a concierge desk in front to this sign to help poor wandering souls decipher their room directions.
3. When The Housekeeping Staff Has Some Fun
In some hotels in the world, towel folding is an art much lauded by the guests, and the housekeeping staff does take origami-like pains to fold the towels into innovative shapes to get that smile (and tip) from the guests. Now either this was a honeymoon suite where the housekeeping staff obviously knew what the couple was up to or the staff itself had something nasty on their mind– why else would you fold a bath towel to look like a mummified guy in your bed? Whatever it is, the staff did fold the towel and leave it rather interestingly sprawled in bed with a drink in its “hand” and a remote in its “lap.” Very cute, but if the couple returning to the room had any romantic plans, they must have evaporated at the sight of this creature instantly, and gone into an unstoppable giggling fit instead.
2. The Hotel With The Secret Entrance To Platform 9 and Three-Quarters
Harry Potter enthralled the best of us; who doesn’t want to be a magical being of infinite power who can run through walls and enter into another world altogether? This hotel with its staircase to nowhere might actually be a secret entrance to the Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, where you can catch a train straight to Hogwarts to become a wizard. Yep. It’s pretty inviting, even at the risk of injury. Wouldn’t you want to just climb those stairs at a dead run, take a deep breath, and try to pass through that wall like mist? Nodding your heads? Yeah well, don’t. The hotel might as well hand over a dunce hat to any guest who has any such grand visions.
1. When Cozy Interiors Actually Turn Out To Be A Sardine “Can” Of A Room
This hotel room is perfect for the couch potato in you. This is where you can get into bed and stay in all day and all night, because frankly, where are you going to step go? You can stay in bed, pee from the bed, and even brush your teeth in bed. As for the view, frankly, if the inside is so sketchy, we have no great hopes for the exterior. This hotel room defines the word cubbyhole to a new extreme and probably is best for a guest who is traveling on an actual shoestring budget. We mean it. To be able to bear this room, you have to be on the wrong side of the rich and famous.
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