Choosing a surrogate to help you grow your family can be a very exciting experience. This person is sacrificing their body to allow you to have a child of your own. Getting a surrogate doesn’t always go as well as you would plan, though. Sometimes getting a surrogate can be a stressful and often disturbing experience, especially if that woman gets a little too attached to the child that she's carrying. Some stories end happily as they should, while others end in a complete disaster. These days, even celebrities are getting surrogates, the latest being Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.
As much as you think that surrogacy would be awesome, you have to also understand that you can’t control the surrogate. Yes, you are paying her expenses and so on in order for her to carry your child, but at the end of the day, it’s still her body and she gets a say in it. That means if she decides to consume alcohol or partake in risky behaviour without you knowing about it, there isn’t a whole lot you can do about it. These confessions are from surrogate mothers who were a handful during the process and were even little troublemakers. They are basically a couples’ worst nightmare when it comes to choosing someone to carry their child.
What would you do if your surrogate decided to change her mind during the process? Talk about an emotional roller-coaster. You basically have got to handle these women with kid gloves and hope for the best. Check out these 15 shocking confessions from surrogate mothers.
15 She Changed Her Mind
It’s crazy that a surrogate has the choice to change her mind, after all, it’s your DNA going into her body to create the baby. “This happened to a couple hoping to take home a baby girl, but instead, a judge ended up ruling in the surrogate’s favour seeing that the baby and its birth mother had bonded. The judge stated it was for the welfare of the child. The couple had found their surrogate online, and they agreed to terms, but nothing was officially signed. During the pregnancy, the relationship between the couple and their surrogate deteriorated, leading the surrogate to feel uncomfortable handing the baby over.” You have to make sure that you have a great relationship with the surrogate because at the end of the day, if they feel uncomfortable with you, they may not give you the baby.
14 Being A Surrogate Is Getting The Best Of Her
Being a surrogate is certainly a selfless act, after all, you are carrying a child for nine months that you don’t even get to keep. It’s a trying experience, but usually, there is a bundle of joy at the end of it that makes it all worth it. Surrogates do get rewarded for their selfless acts by getting their medical expenses covered and monetary compensation. “I’m a few days away from giving birth to this baby. I love her way more than I planned. The thing is, I’m a surrogate. This selfless act is turning into the most selfish act.” That’s the problem with being a surrogate at times. There is the risk that the mother will bond with her baby and that’s where things can go wrong.
13 She Does It With The Daddy
This crazy story calls for some judging and gasping. This surrogate has gotten involved with the biological father of the baby she is carrying. Now, this is a situation that isn’t going to end well. There's a chance the surrogate and husband are going to run off together with the baby and leave the biological mother in despair. What is wrong with these people? How does something like this even happen? The husband just suddenly got attracted to his six-month pregnant surrogate. “I’m a surrogate and six months pregnant. I have s*x with the biological father of the baby daily. His wife doesn’t know.” This is a really bad situation, and we feel terrible for the wife.
12 Runaway Baby
This story is a couple’s worst nightmare because the last thing you want when you have a surrogate is for her to run off with your child. “I’m a surrogate for this awesome couple but I’ve bonded so much with this baby I just wanna run away and keep her.” We’re not sure what happened here in the end. Did the girl take the baby and make a run for it or did she finally give it up to the couple? We hope for the couple’s sake that she did the right thing. It can be a heartbreaking experience for the couple who is putting their hopes and dreams into one girl just to be taken advantage of in the end. It’s a very real concern when you have to worry about the surrogate getting attached to the child. Pregnancy is a very personal and life-altering experience.
11 She Disagreed With Their Lifestyle
Even though the surrogate knew that the couple was gay from the beginning, when it came time for her to give up the baby, she refused because she didn’t believe they would be moral examples of the child. “Luckily for this gay couple, the court ruled in their favour as the birth mother was refusing to hand the child over because of her own backward views on how a child should be raised. What’s odd is the surrogate knew full well she was going to deliver the baby for a gay couple, she was even told by the fathers that she was still welcome to play a role in the child’s life, they wanted their baby to grow up knowing her story.” In the end, everything worked out, but this sounds like a very stressful situation for the couple to be in.
10 Dating During Surrogacy
We’re not sure that dating is the best idea while being a surrogate. Technically, there isn’t anything wrong with it, but it just seems like a weird thing to do while being pregnant with another person’s child. Giving up dating is just part of the sacrifices of being a surrogate, right? Considering all the changes in your body and the mood swings, would you really want to bring all that into a new relationship? “Dating while being a surrogate mother is hard, people automatically assume that you’re taken if you have a pregnant belly.” Well, of course, many people assume that, and usually when you start out dating someone new, you aren’t already pregnant. It’s just an overly weird situation and we would probably not go there. It’s best to allow the pregnancy to take its course and then get back into the dating world.
9 Couple Pays Child Support
This woman really took this couple for a ride. “This particular case is slightly more nauseating because the couple was not only left without custody; they are also liable for paying child support since the baby is technically half theirs. Dad’s sperm was used to produce the baby, but the surrogate’s eggs were utilized. You can see how this can get messy. After six miscarriages, this woman just wanted a chance, and that was taken, too. The couple had agreed to pay the surrogate $16,000 to carry the baby, but they began to see red flags everywhere when she continued to ask for more and more money over the course of the pregnancy. The final text the surrogate sent was to inform the couple that she would be keeping the baby. They did everything in their power to get their baby, but with no laws in the UK making a surrogacy agreement binding, there’s nothing to do other than offer mother and father equal visitation.” What a terrible thing to do to this couple.
8 She Regrets It
Surrogacy can be a wonderful experience for some people. You have the opportunity to give a couple who can’t have a child, a miracle. But unfortunately, sometimes, that’s not the feeling that a surrogate has during the experience. Sometimes, the surrogate is left feeling sad because she carried a child for nine months and had nothing but money at the end of the day. “I was a surrogate. It’s my biggest regret in life even if it made dreams come true. I got nightmares.” It’s too bad that this surrogate feels this way after making a couple’s dreams come true, but it’s not an uncommon feeling. That’s why many surrogates decide to keep the child because they have a hard time letting go. The surrogate isn’t clear here why she has nightmares, but we feel bad for her nonetheless. She made a mistake and she has to live with it.
7 The Terrible Phone Call
Getting a surrogate can be a dream come true for some couples who can’t have children. Unfortunately, however, there is a lot of risks involved. There is no guarantee that you are even going to get to keep the child even though your DNA is involved. You would think that you would have rights to a child that you helped to create, but at the end of the day, it’s up to the surrogate if she wants to keep the baby. “My partner and I had a surrogate to carry out our baby. After the birth, she told us she was keeping the baby. She told us over the phone and we never saw her again.” This must have been a terrible experience for the couple; we can’t imagine how they must have felt to have their surrogate call them up and break the bad news to them.
6 She Got Dumped
This girl was going on a date long after she was a surrogate and she still got dumped. It’s a mystery as to why it would happen. “My date just walked out and left me with the check because he found out that I was a surrogate mother a few years back.” Poor girl! It might be because a lot of people have old-fashioned values and maybe he wanted to be with a girl who would have experienced birth only with him, her own partner. It shouldn't be an issue, especially since it was a few years ago, but apparently, some people aren’t as fond of the idea of surrogacy as most would be. He clearly had an issue with it, and maybe it’s because he worried that she would be willing to do it again in the future. It’s really hard to say where things went wrong.
5 She Claimed They Were Racists
This surrogate completely took advantage of the couple and extorted money out of them and then tried to keep the babies. You really need to be careful as to who you choose to carry your child. “An Iowa couple, still wanted to have a child, even though it wouldn’t biologically be an option. They felt that surrogacy was the answer to their prayers. The Montovers are one example of surrogacy gone wrong, very wrong, in fact, this might be one of the worst cases on the list. Perhaps it all started with the odd choice to look for a surrogate on Craigslist rather than an agency. They drew up a contract for $13,000, but after finding out she may be carrying twins, she asked the couple to increase it to $30,000. The surrogate also threatened to abort the pregnancy or give the child away if they didn’t meet her terms. The relationship between the couple began to quickly deteriorate, especially after she made claims that the couple was racist and used the “N” word frequently to describe her and her sister. She told the court that she would not let the children be raised by racists.”
4 Best Friend Betrayal
This situation just sickens us to the core; it’s sad when you can’t even trust your best friend to stay away from your husband. “My best friend decided to be a surrogate for my husband and I. During the nine months, her and my husband fell in love. She’s keeping the baby now and raising it with him.” We’re sorry to have to say, but this "best friend" is a monster. The fact that she could completely crush her friend like this says a lot about who she is as a person. Not only did she steal her best friend's husband, but she also took away her friend’s child. It’s a twisted tale that reminds us that sometimes, we really don’t know the people in our lives.
3 Stealing Babies
We are really shocked that the laws don’t protect the biological parents more because all these surrogates are running off with children that aren’t biologically theirs. “An Asian couple sought custody of their twins after the surrogate decided to keep the babies. The surrogate flat out refused to hand them over after the birth. The relationship between the couple and the surrogate broke down within the first few months of carrying as the surrogate soon began to feel bonded to the twins she was carrying. The surrogate has no biological connection to the twins, as the egg and sperm were from the donor couple, but since she gave birth to them, the law protected her and she was able to keep them, forcing the couple to battle for custody. The woman even refused the money that the couple had offered to pay her, stating that the twins were not for sale. The woman felt the couple treated the entire surrogacy as a business transaction and she felt that there would be no further contact after, she wanted a friendship.”
2 Selling Their Baby
We feel that some of these people don’t have souls. How could you be a surrogate and then go behind the couples back and sell their baby? “A French surrogate mother was arrested after lying to two gay couples about the deaths of their babies. She used surrogacy as a means to make money, telling the couples that their babies had died shortly after giving birth to them. She knew she would receive the full amount for carrying the children to term and then “double-dipping” by attempting to sell those babies to other couples! How completely heartless! The couples were devastated to hear their child had passed, leaving their dreams of a family in the dust. Thankfully, the woman was caught while trying to lure three other couples into the same situation, she was sent to prison for fraud, but with surrogacy being banned in France, there really isn’t much the couples can argue, nothing would have been legally binding.”)
1 She Got Ripped Off
This surrogate tried to do everything right and was ripped off by the couple. She was left in debt and wondering if she should have kept the baby. That can certainly be a heartbreaking situation for someone to be in. “I was a surrogate for a gay couple. They took my baby and didn’t pay the $197k hospital bill. I almost kept my son and now I regret it.” She probably should have kept the child because they don’t seem like nice people. Surely, she should have had some kind of contract in place that would force them to pay her hospital bill. This isn’t the kind of situation that you want to take on. Hopefully, this girl was able to get the hospital bill paid for because that’s a lot of money for a young girl.