Tinder is a great place to go to find your next conquest. If all you’re after is a little bit of fun, Tinder can be the perfect spot to find a gorgeous hunk or a banging brunette. It may not lead to many lasting relationships, but as long as both parties know exactly what they’re in for and get what they’re expecting come date day, Tinder can be a place to find a good time.
But Tinder is also a dangerous game. You’re matching with complete strangers. You never quite know if your match is going to look exactly like their profile picture. Maybe their photo is five years old. Or maybe the sexy young babe you thought you matched up with is actually a 55-year-old Brazilian dude. You never quite know what you’re going to get, and after a while, Tinder begins to seem like a big game of Russian roulette where you’re trying to avoid the psychopath.
The girls on this list got more than they bargained far out of their Tinder dates. Some of their dates told lies or deceived them in other ways. Some managed to ruin long-term fantasies. Others just turned out to be total pricks in person. Hey, when you match with a stranger, you never know what you’re going to get, right?
15 The Creepy Backpack Hoarder
The first thing that’s weird about this Tinder date is that they met up in a park. Who meets up in parks except pedos and underage teenagers? And then, to make it worse, this guy turned out to be a total weirdo.
He was carrying around a bunch of stuffed animals and called it his “secret.” Somehow, calling it a secret makes it ten times worse. If he was carrying them as a joke and immediately pulled them out, she might have just been like, “okay, this guy’s a little zany, but I can get with it, he’s funny.”
But secretly hoarding them? That’s just weird. It kind of suggests that this guy’s probably not mentally stable enough to be dating anyone, let alone this poor girl who committed no greater crime than swiping right.
This confessor says that she still sees him at the park with the same backpack, but now she steers clear of him and his little toys.
14 The Pathetic Movie Date Guy
This guy just seems immature. First of all, he was rude. And then, when he didn’t get the action that he wanted, he pouted and sat in a different section of the movie theater.
That’s weak enough, but then he had the balls to crawl back to this girl and ask for a ride home. Someone didn’t think his game through very well beforehand. If you’re going to be a d-bag when you don’t get what you want, it’s important to have an escape route planned because instead of coming across like an a-hole, you come across like a pathetic a-hole, which might be even worse.
Basically, he treated his date like a little kid with a cookie jar. He tried to put his hand in, and when he got in trouble, he acted out until he realized he needed help.
I know Tinder might be a dating app for kids who don’t yet know what they want in life, but seriously, grow up!
13 The Guy Who Proposed On The First Date
This confession is just…wow. What did this guy expect was going to happen? It sounds like he thinks he lives in another era where he can just tell a girl how she should live her life and expect to nail her down after one date. The real world isn’t like that, at least not in the 21st century. It turns out, a girl has to like you back or she can just walk away and swipe the next dude she sees. From this account, we’re guessing that the guy was too clueless and stuck in his own views to even notice that this girl totally disagreed with everything he was saying.
I mean, if you’re going to propose to someone on the first date, shouldn’t you at least make sure that your personal philosophies actually line up? Like, what if this girl did agree to marry him and then left a week later to join the military? Would his head explode?
12 The Crush Who Got Ruined Forever
This one is just so relatable. High school is a rough time full of raging hormones. All you want to do is go home with that cute girl who smiled at you once in science class (or the buff dude who hangs out with the jocks and never looks at you). You spend hours alone in your room dreaming of all your wonderful fantasy scenarios where this person recognizes your love for them and you go on to live a perfect, happily married existence…
But then, life happens. You both grow up, get your heart broken a few times, and wind up on Tinder.
And suddenly, you have your chance! The man (or woman) of your dreams actually agrees to go out with you. And then you meet up with them and realize that its five years later, and they’re actually a total chode—totally boring, bad in bed, not your type. And you wonder what was wrong with you all these years.
And the worst part is that your fantasy is ruined forever. You can’t even look back wistfully on those teenage years anymore.
11 The “Nervous” Guy
Yikes! When you go on Tinder, you’re looking for a simple, no-hold-barred, no-strings-attached type of interaction. But this girl got way more than she bargained for. This guy clearly has some issues to work through, and his Tinder match was unlucky enough to get caught in the middle of it.
A gimp suit seems like the kind of fetish you should work up to slowly—like buy her a coffee, go out with her for a few months, have some relative normal bedroom interactions, and after a couple of months mention that you’re kind of into something a bit kinky. But that’s not what this guy did at all.
Trying to bust out a weird fetish to get over his “nerves” on the first date? That seems oddly radical. Like maybe he had to get over something way more intense than nerves. Maybe he shouldn’t even be going out with girls in the first place…?
10 The Casual Guy Who Wanted A Relationship
It sounds like this Tinder guy didn’t know what he wanted. The two people here made a clear agreement that this was just some innocent fun, and they clearly had a good time together in the sack. This guy even said to her that he was fine with the arrangement. But as soon as this Reddit user tried to go with her life, this guy suddenly turned jealous and said that he wanted a relationship. That’s not what you agreed to!
It’s to be expected, but it’s kind of sad that this guy had to sl*t-shame her for getting into a relationship with somebody else. Move on, dude.
Dating is hard. We get it. People catch feelings. But maybe this guy should have acknowledged that he actually had a thing for her before he agreed to NSA.
9 The X-Dresser
Now, we can understand why this one would have been awkward to bring up on a first date. This girl clearly got into his pants and was mystified by what she saw. He had to think fast to cover up what he was really into, so he made up a story about needing to be aerodynamic on his bike. That’s all well and good, but lies are no way to begin a new relationship.
In a way, I feel bad for the guy here. It’s not his fault that a thing he’s into happens to be frowned on by much of society. But he might need to look somewhere other than Tinder for future dating prospects…
It doesn’t seem like it took this girl very long to find out the truth. I can only imagine how she might have found out about his dirty little secret. Awkward.
8 The Toothless Wonder
Everyone has their own personal secrets. Some people are into embarrassing soap operas or obsessive-compulsive about how they fold the dish towels. Some people have emotional scars from horrible exes. Other people…hmm...well, other people have no teeth.
We’re not sure if this guy was just a hockey player who got into one too many fights or if he was an older fellow with some health issues, but either way, it’s not hard to see how that would be a bedroom turnoff. Just imagine swooping in for the make-out session and coming away with the other person’s dentures. Gross.
The best thing about this story is that the guy doesn’t even seem embarrassed about his oral situation. It sounds like he took this girl to bed, did what he had brought her home to do, then casually pulled out his teeth like it was no big deal.
7 The Guy Who Missed His Mom...
“Umm, yes. I mind. I mind very much. In fact, I think I have something else to do today after all…”
This confession is just wrong on so many levels. It’s kind of weird for a guy to ask to brush a girl’s hair in the first place, but with his dead mother’s hairbrush? That’s seriously complicated. We’re betting this guy had some serious mommy issues if he’s holding on to his mom’s personal hairbrush over a decade after she’s passed from this mortal coil. That’s some serious Norman Bates in Psycho level of creepy. I’m wondering what other heirlooms this momma’s boy has lying around the house? Maybe fragments of skins? Some toenails? Hopefully, this girl ran far, far away when she got this request...and never came back.
This guy clearly needs a psychiatrist, not a girlfriend.
6 The Guy Who Came Back Later...
Oh, no biggie. Just hooked up with a guy, got pregnant, killed the baby. He screwed off and now it’s four months later, and she’s wondering if she wants to start the whole process over again.
The tone of this confession treats this whole situation so casually it’s hard to imagine this girl even really understands what they’ve been through. Some people see an abortion as a life-changing moment, but this girl just sees it as a minor hiccup in a burgeoning relationship.
It seems like this relationship is doomed for failure. First of all, they obviously hooked up without knowing each other very well. Second, he ditched out when he found out she needed an abortion. But now that it’s been a whole four months and she’s recovered, he wants back in.
This girl should tell him to hit the road, and then maybe evaluate her own choices in life for considering taking him back in the first place.
5 The Teenager Who Pretended To Be 25
That’s just awkward. This girl got cat-fished in a way she never even expected. She went on this Tinder date looking for one thing and got something completely unexpected. Most people try to seem younger than they really are, but in this case, this guy was totally immature and felt like he had to pretend he was five years older just to score a date.
This guy probably couldn’t get any action with girls his own age so he thought he’d try going after something a bit more mature. But he didn’t account for the fact that most 25-year-old girls aren’t going after awkward teenage boys.
The most cringe-worthy part of this is that the guy admitted that he was into “older women.” That’s pretty feeble.
There are plenty of cougars out there, kid…
4 The Guy Who Offered A Little Extra With Her Coffee
Talk about warning signs! There are unwarranted d pics but then there’s a little thing I like to call the pedoflash. First of all, if you think you’re getting any by flashing a girl in public, you’ve got some learning to do about getting with women.
There’s a ritual to dating that goes something like meeting up in a public place, getting to know each other, pretending to like each other (or just feel randy/desperate), going back to a private spot, and allowing pleasantries to begin. This Tinder guy clearly got the order mixed up as he tried to cut right to the chase.
I guess the direct approach is refreshing?
Well...until he winds up in jail for showing the wrong people his bits, that is.
3 The Split-Bill Guy
There’s nothing wrong with a guy asking a girl to split the bill on a first date. It’s 2017, women are liberated, and most guys aren’t impressed by a girl who swipes right just for the free coffee or beer. So by all means, if you both order a coffee and a sandwich, then each of you should both throw in $20 and see where the date goes from there.
This guy took “splitting the bill” to another level, though. Like, if you notice that the girl isn’t eating anything off your share plate, maybe don’t order five more of them? It seems like maybe this guy has a bit of an eating problem, which probably isn’t the best foot to put forward on your first date with your latest Tinder match. This girl didn’t even seem to have a problem with all the food until the guy asked her to pay half of his tab. That’s just dumb.
There’s being a cheap date, and then there’s being a total tool.
2 The Religious Freak
This confession is kind of funny, but it seems like this girl could have made her exit a little sooner. She was clearly bothered by the guy’s religious and political views, so why did she even bother going with him to a yoga class? Maybe it was already paid for and she didn’t want to seem like a bad person, but it’s pretty obvious from this confession that this Tinder match didn’t stand much of a chance once they met in person.
One of the best (and worst) things about Tinder is that you can match with anyone, including people who come from completely different backgrounds and political affiliations from you. Really, you’re only looking at one thing, right? But while overlooking each other’s personalities can be a perk at times, sometimes you meet someone and you’re just like “nope.”
1 The Guy Who Had To Get Stitches
This date didn’t actually happen on Tinder, but the woman who wrote this confession describes the online program she hooked up with her date on as a “predecessor” to Tinder.
This girl clearly had a thing for this guy and didn’t even expect to match with him. She was so excited to go out with him and see what happened that hilarity ensued—horrible date-ruining hilarity. Instead of taking her dreamboat home, she had to take this guy to the hospital and quickly come to terms with the sad fact that there would be no second date.
This is probably literally the worst first date story imaginable. Not only did she ruin the date, but it also caused him serious injury in the process.
I know there’s such a thing as “tough love,” but I don’t think they meant beating up your date before you had a chance to even kiss them…