If you're thinking about getting a mail-order bride, you may want to read this first. It's a collection of crazy confessions about mail-order brides. These are told from the point of view of people who have personally had mail-order brides, been mail-order brides themselves, and people who have witnessed these crazy events go down firsthand. All of these stories are from Reddit, so take them with a grain of salt. But the truth is that mail-order brides are real, and they are far more widespread than you might think.
These women are, for the most part, hardworking, desperate, and driven people who just want a better life for themselves. They are mainly from impoverished nations, and they want a taste of the American dream. Can you blame them? This is probably one of the few legal routes people have into rich countries, and it's no surprise that so many women are trying it.
The men who want mail-order brides are a pretty unique breed. They are often socially awkward, old, or both. They might not be the ideal husband in their country, but they are lonely and desperate for a taste of the dream life in their own way, too. It's just that when these two types of people get together, it usually ends in complete and utter disaster. Read the stories for yourself, and decide whether you still think it's a good idea.
15 She Left Him, Got A Job, And Cried When She Got Her First Paycheck
Sometimes we forget how people in less fortunate countries are much less privileged than us. Mail-order brides often come from poor backgrounds. They do it not by choice, but in the hope of finding a better life in a different country. That was what happened with this particular mail-order bride, and when she finally arrived at her country of choice, she was amazed at the opportunities she found. She left him pretty fast, and found a minimum wage job. But to her, this was the most money she had ever seen on a paycheck:
"Some guy in my small hometown married a Filipino 'mail-order' bride. The guy was kind of a creep and it didn't last. She left him and got a minimum wage job at a fisheries shop (gruelling work for no money). She cried when she got her first paycheck, she couldn't believe how much money it was. It really put my quality of life into perspective. I'm pretty rich for a poor person and I occasionally remember this tidbit when I lose my way."
14 He Was Trying To Force His Mail-Order Bride To Get Pregnant
The kind of guys who get mail-order brides aren't usually the most... normal. You have to ask yourself, why do they feel the need to get a mail-order bride? Usually it's because they are old, ugly, or extremely weird socially. That's one of the most tragic things about mail-order brides. The men are so lonely, and the women are forced into these marriages with men who are unwanted by women in their own country. Well, this particular guy was a complete creep, and even tried to force his mail-order bride into getting pregnant:
"The guy essentially wanted one of those stereotypical Asian marriages where the wife was subservient and existed to please their husband. she would tell us he would make her wait until he was done eating and he would only let her eat 'ladylike' foods, like salad. He payed her a monthly 'salary,' which was pretty abysmal, and she had to use that for clothing and other essentials. He also wouldn't let her go anywhere by herself and would drop her off and turn up an hour before classes ended in case we got let out early to drive her home. I remember we had to do a group assessment and I had given her my phone number and he forced her to delete it (I'm a female). I think the saddest part was when she asked a bunch of us if we could get birth control pills for her because her husband kept destroying her scripts/pills, and you could tell she was absolutely terrified of getting pregnant."
13 Rejected By A Mail-Order Bride Because He Wasn't Asian
Sometimes mail-order brides are the ones getting rejected, but a lot of the time it's the guy who ends up getting rejected. After all, most mail-order brides end up rejecting their husbands and divorcing them after only a few months. Most of them just want to get into the country and gain citizenship. After that's done, what's the point of staying with a guy you don't even love? But this particular mail-order bride didn't even wait five seconds before rejecting her man. She took one look at him, realized he wasn't Asian, and slammed the door in his face:
"Back in the 90s, we had a friend of the family move to Kyoto, Japan to teach English (from the US). He was over there for several years before loneliness started to set in.
He sent for a mail-order-Chinese bride. She showed up in his doorstep, took on look at him and turned around and left. She refused to marry a non-Asian. It didn't work out so well for him. He did manage to get a refund."
12 He Sent His Mail-Order Bride Back For A Refund
What happens when a marriage to a mail-order bride goes wrong? What are the options? Most men don't like to think about the negative possibilities of any marriage, let alone a mail-ordered one. But these marriages have the potential to turn out much worse than a normal marriage. Most mail-order brides never even meet their husbands, except for a few weeks before the marriage. It's no wonder most of these marriages fail. But what happens then? Well, in this case, the husband pretty much sent her back to her country and asked for a refund:
"My dad had one a few years back. He met her online and flew out to get her after a while. If I was home she stayed in her room, unless I had been in my room for an extended period and she deemed it safe to get food from the kitchen. My room was in the basement, just for clarification. The few times we crossed paths she would see me, gasp, and then run to her room. My dad never saw this as a problem. He basically catered to her every want and need. Also, I should mention he was 56 and she was 29. A year later, I moved out. Since then she has attacked him on two occasions and had him arrested... Eventually he sent her back, or maybe she left, I don't know. I no longer speak to my father so that's the extent of my knowledge."
11 Russian Mail-Order Bride Didn't Get What She Expected
Real mail-order brides are hard to spot. They don't exactly advertise the fact that they met their husband on a sketchy website. But there are a few who have gone on Reddit to answer a few questions. One of them revealed that living with her husband was pretty much hell, but she still stayed with him until the end. She thought living in America would be luxurious and fun, but her husband lived a life of poverty:
"When I was 21, I married an American who was 45 and moved to the US. He turned out to be a pathological liar and had wild mood swings (he was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder). Seven years of welfare, bad teeth, broken cars, disability, and bill collectors ensued. Finally I left him and have been happy and thriving ever since. I have many friends who are Russian mail-order brides – some with positive experiences, others with negative experiences. Overall, I would recommend it because culturally Americans and Russians are close, and America is full of decent lonely men and Russia is full of lonely beautiful women."
10 He And His Mail-Order Bride Became Bounty Hunters Together
Relationships with mail-order brides can often turn out badly, but they do have a chance of becoming lasting, meaningful relationships. You know what they say: opposites attract. That was definitely true with this particular guy, who married a stunning Ukrainian mail-order bride and ended up settling down with her. He was a creepy war veteran with PTSD, but they both seemed to get along together. In the end, they actually both became bounty hunters together:
"This weird, creepy friend-of-a-friend married a mail-order bride. He was a Desert Storm vet with PTSD and maybe mild autism. We used to go shooting with him sometimes because we were extremely bad at making life decisions. Anyhow, he met this stunning Ukrainian woman on one of those mail-order bride sites and sort of dropped off the map. A couple years later I ran into him at a thrift store and he told me about how they're both bounty hunters now."
9 Russian Mail-Order Bride Cheated On Him So He Sent Her Back
Most mail-order brides marry willingly because it means they will become citizens of the country they move to. Citizenship is a huge deal in first world countries, and it's something many of us take for granted. As citizens, we are entitled to the rights and protection of the nation, including welfare and all state services. Well, one Russian mail-order bride was so close to getting citizenship with the marriage papers about to be signed... And then she confessed to cheating on her husband. He told her to get lost, and now she's an illegal immigrant living in the US:
"I know a guy who married a Russian gal (supposedly not quite 'mail-order' but someone he'd known online for years and spent time with several times over the years). He had learned Russian fairly fluently as well. Her actually gaining citizenship required a number of interviews over something like 2-3 years to establish legitimacy and so on. During the very last interview where she would have finally been rubber-stamped, she admitted to cheating on him – during the interview. Deal over. He withdrew support from her and told her to take a hike. Last he heard she had fled the state before immigration could deport her and was now just another illegal immigrant in the US."
8 His Mail-Order Bride Service Was Actually Human Trafficking
There is a dark side to mail-order brides. After all, the very idea of such a thing is extremely sketchy. Who organizes these websites? How do they make money off such things? What kind of a girl signs up for this? Desperate girls, that's who. And wherever there's desperation, there's a few cruel, cold people willing to make a few bucks off other people's pain and suffering. That was certainly the case with one mail-order bride, who was negotiated for as if she was a hostage. Once the husband missed a payment, she was taken back to her country:
"My dad started talking with a woman in Vietnam over the internet, and they became relatively close. Of course, this woman never talked to him without another man present, even over the phone. He sent over thousands of dollars to this guy, and the phone conversations I would hear from him sounded like hostage negotiations to me, about them needing more money to 'free her up' and I swear I heard him arrange for her 'release' at one point. Eventually, she gets shipped over here. She is in his life for maybe a month before she disappears. I have a crisp, 100 dollar bill from Albert Einstein himself that says she was kidnapped and shipped back to Vietnam, because of a missed 'payment.'"
7 Vietnamese Mail-Order Bride Ruined His Life
Vietnam is another very popular destination for people who want mail-order brides. Women over there have a history of coming to the United States for a better life, and this all started way back during the Vietnam War, when women used to come home with GIs after meeting them while they were on a tour of duty. Some of these marriages turned out fine, but when one man went to get a bride in Vietnam, things didn't go according to plan. She ended up ruining his life, getting him kicked out of his own place, and taking half of his stuff:
"My dad's coworker got one from Vietnam. He went on a 'love vacation' or whatever they call it. They got married shortly thereafter and she moved to the US. Then, after three months in the US, she called the cops on him, saying he was abusing her. He got kicked out of his own house, she divorced him, and he lost a bunch of assets to her. A couple years later, I found out he married another one from a different country, thinking he'd have better luck. I don't know what happened with that one for sure but I know it didn't last, either."
6 Mail-Order Bride Turned Out To Be A Man... They Still Got Married
This is by far the weirdest and most hilarious story about mail-order brides you will ever read. Now, being gay is obviously completely fine, and there's nothing strange about it. But it's definitely out of the ordinary when you go to Thailand to meet your mail-order bride, only to find out that the woman you've been emailing is actually a man. After finding this out, this guy didn't know what to do. But then he married the guy anyway, even though he was straight. He just wanted to help the guy get citizenship into the United States! Here is his story:
"I started talking to a Thai woman online a few years ago when I was 22. I decided to go over and see her just about a month after being in a pretty constant flow of communication over the internet. As the time for me to leave the United States grew closer, I started to notice that she seemed a little different (almost nervous) even through emails. So I fly over to finally meet who I've been talking to this whole time, and I can't find her anywhere. However, who I did manage to find was a man one year younger than me. This man was the woman I had been talking to for a month. I start talking with him (he speaks English surprisingly well) and he tells me all about his situation. I won't go into any details about it here, but it's pretty gut-wrenching. At this point the totally 100% heteros*xual Thai man, had just asked for my hand in marriage. I said, 'Alright, lets do it.' This is hands down the most significant sentence I've ever said. A little while later I took another plane to pick up my new husband. So we basically just kind of became bros and divorced as soon as we thought it wasn't suspicious."
5 Mail-Order Bride Broke His Heart
Mail-order brides carry the risk of severe heartbreak, just like any other type of marriage. In fact, you could even say that these marriages carry more of a risk of heartbreak. This is because the marriages are based on very little romantic contact, and they are more like business transactions than actual relationships. How could anyone expect something like this to work? Well, one Costa Rican girl realized that she had to come clean, and tell the guy she wasn't attracted to him, and was just doing it for the money. It broke his heart:
"My cousin almost married a mail-order bride. He went through a Costa Rican agency, where they have tours you can take where you go with other men to these bars or similar places and they have a bunch of women there you can meet. He wound up meeting a girl on one of the trips. She was over 20 years younger than him. He took several trips down there over the course of 6-10 months to visit her. He sent her lavish gifts and money. He proposed to her and was working on getting her paperwork taken care of and about 6 months into trying to finalize things to bring her to the US, he took another trip down there. From what I gathered, they had not had s*x by this point and she must have made it known she wasn't attracted to him physically or for his personality, just his money, and he cut things off. He was heartbroken."
4 Russian Mail-Order Brides Reveal They're In It For The Money
What's really going on inside the head of a mail-order bride? Well one guy was in the unique position of going to the same gym as two hot Russian mail-order brides. He has talked with them a lot about their situations, and he's gained some interesting insights into their lives and why they chose to do it. One of them actually seems to love her husband. He's just a nerdy guy who couldn't a get a girl here. But the other is married to an 80-year-old guy, and it's clear that she's just in it for the money. She even told him this in no uncertain terms:
"Two women at my gym are mail-order brides. One is around 30 and married to to a nerdy looking 45-year-old guy. They seem happy and she appears to care about him. The second one is straight in it for the business. She is around 30, and married to an 80-year-old guy. She has literally said to me, 'When he dies, my life will start.' She is quite attractive but doesn't give the guys at the gym any attention. This makes me think the old guy has a pretty tight pre-nup."
3 He Got Greedy, And The Mail-Order Bride Divorced Him
It's easy to see the appeal of mail-order brides, at least for some men. Most of these guys are extremely old, as in 60 years or more. These guys have no business pursuing women less than half their age, but they do it anyway. Something inside of them desperately wants to relive a forgotten or lost youth, and young girls are a way for them to attain that. But in many cases, guys can get too greedy. In this situation, a 60-year-old man was lined up to marry a woman closer to his age from Columbia. But then he decided to take her daughter instead. Needless to say, this relationship didn't last long:
"My dad's best friend went down to Columbia to meet his mail-order bride, and wound up marrying the daughter. She wasn't bad looking, about a 6 or so. He was pushing 60, divorced, cheap, and lived in a cabin up in Northern New Hampshire. She brought her son. Within a few years, she got her accounting certificate, divorced him, and now does fairly well for herself. Basically, he got a little greedy. She was in her 30s with much of her life ahead of her. Had he gone for someone closer to his own age, they'd probably still be married."
2 Mail-Order Bride Divorced Him Within Months And Now Makes More Money Than He Does
Mail-order brides are not just subservient women. Many of them have real dreams, and will do anything it takes to succeed in life. Becoming a mail-order bride is just a means to an end for them, and you can hardly blame them for thinking this way. After all, it's survival of the fittest in this world. If you can find a way to make a better life for yourself, you take it. That's exactly what this girl did, and once she became a Canadian citizen, she divorced him and started her own business. She now makes more than he does:
"A former high school teacher of mine married a mail-order bride from Vietnam. He met her on a website and conversed for a few months, then went over there to meet her family and brought her back to Canada to marry her. He was a bit of a creepy-looking guy who didn't have much luck with the ladies, but all I've heard through the grapevine is that she left him as soon as she became a Canadian citizen, divorced him, took half his stuff, and went to school to become a beautician. As far as I know, he still pays her alimony even though she co-owns a beauty parlor and makes (probably) more than he does."
1 When Mail-Order Brides Live Happily Ever After
But hey, not all mail-order brides end up ruining your life. Just listen to this story. This is one of those rare cases where everything worked out, and the mail-order bride was loyal and loving to the husband. Sure, they yelled at each other from time to time, but what couple doesn't? In the end, they ended up having kids, going on vacations together, and living the dream. They lived happily ever after:
"I had a client who bought a wife from Colombia. She was very attractive, and younger than him, although not by decades. He was wealthy, and sort of average-looking. Could've probably gotten plenty of average-looking or even attractive American women, if his personality wasn't so strange. The thing is that I think their relationship really worked for both of them. She never seemed depressed, or scared of him, or subservient. If he yelled at her she'd yell right back. I think he got the companionship he was looking for, someone to have kids with, arm candy, and she got the better life in America with money and trips and nice things."