Actor and comedian Matt Walsh once said, “Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do.” There’s no doubt about it. Parenting is one of the hardest jobs out there. You don’t have to be a parent to understand that, which is why there are plenty of people who don’t want kids and have no intentions of ever having any, despite what their parents say.
While parenting may be fun at times, it can also be incredibly stressful. You’re in charge of raising a crying baby into a mature and independent adult, and you to have to, you know, not irreversibly ruin their life along the way. It can be a daunting task, and some people don’t want to do it or just are cut out for it. After all, not every single person is fit to be a parent. Society knows that raising a child is no walk in the park, but it’s not acceptable for a parent to openly vent about their children.
However, there are parents who not only openly vent about their children, but they regret even having them in the first place. And they aren’t sorry about it either. Here are 15 shocking confessions made by parents who regret having children.
15. Wishes They Were Single And Never Had Kids But Can’t Escape
This Whisper user not only regretted having kids; she regretted getting married as well. For some people, getting married is the happiest day of their life. And for new mothers, giving birth to a child also becomes one of the happiest days of their lives. But not every woman is happy later in life about saying “I do,” and if they became a mother later in their married life, their days as a mother probably weren’t the happiest days in their lives, especially if they missed their life before childbirth since they regret not doing more fun activities before they became a mother. This Whisper user seems to feel miserable in her life, but can’t find any way out and doesn’t seem intent on trying.
14. Thinks The Kids Had A Negative Influence On Their Marriage
This Whisper user is fond of her kids but isn’t exactly pleased with their influence on her marriage. If her marriage was already beginning to fail before she and her husband starting having kids, then deciding to have kids wasn’t the best solution. So many people are fooled into thinking that having kids can save their marriage, but that can actually ruin the marriage. Parents think having kids can bring them closer together when all it does is drive them apart. All the effort they could have used to focus on their marriage life suddenly gets redirected into taking care of their newborn child. Morphing from lovers to parents can take its toil on any couple, which is probably why researchers have discovered that the rate of the decline in relationship satisfaction is nearly twice as much for couples who have children than for childless couples.
13. Wishes It Was Just Her And Her Husband
Much like what was said in the entry just above, kids can sometimes be detrimental to a couple’s marriage. Some new parents have admitted to feeling jealous of their single friends who don’t have children. They feel less joy in their lives and they miss having two extra hours of sleep in the morning. Some mothers wish that it could have just been them and their husband. One mother said that she hates playing in the park, watching Peppa Pig, and going to playgroups. She’d much rather go to a gallery, read a novel, or have lunch with friends. She loves her son but feels conned out of the life she had before she had him. While some parents experience a newfound joy in life after having their first child, others feel like they were tricked into parenthood, and they would do anything to get their old life back.
12. Believes Parenthood Ruined Their Life
This Whisper user doesn’t find any part of parenthood rewarding in any way. There are some parents who find raising children to be quite exhausting at times, but still love their job anyway and wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world. This Whisper user isn’t one of those parents. And not only do they not find parenthood rewarding, they think that it has completely ruined their life. Once you have children, you have to change your lifestyle completely in order to take care of your children. You can’t always go out and do some of the things that you used to do—at least not without hiring a babysitter. Some people don’t realize it until it’s too late, but having a child changes your life forever. And once you go in, there’s no going back.
11. Wishes They Could Go Back In Time
Well, at least this Whisper user said that he/she loved their kids and wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. But this user also said that if he/she could go back in time, they wouldn’t have had kids. Meaning, if someone they knew invented a time machine, guess who the first person inside would be? This Whisper user is a far cry from the Whisper user in the entry above who found absolutely no joy in being a parent, but they still aren’t 100% with their life now that they’re a parent. There are more than a few parents who love their children but prefer the life they had before they had their kids and would do anything to turn back the hand of time.
10. Resents Her Child For Ruining Her Marriage
This Whisper user doesn’t just regret having her daughter, but she blames her for ruining her relationship with her husband. 17 years later and she’s still not over it. “She held me back” can mean a lot of things. Perhaps her daughter kept her from realizing her educational goals. After all, it’s not uncommon for high school-aged pregnant mothers to be forced to drop out of high school so they can raise their children, and for many of them, college is out of the question. Perhaps her daughter kept her from her career goals. Or perhaps her daughter kept her from living a fun-filled social life that she so desperately craved. Whatever the reason, it’s clear that she’s still upset over it. And it’s probably safe to say that she’s not going to help take care of her future granddaughter.
9. Dreams About Running Away
This Whisper user just wants to run away from it all, but that’s not an option for her because she has a son she has to take care of. Life can be hard at times, and sometimes we just want to run away from it all. At one point in our lives, we’ve craved an escape from reality. And some parents just want to pack up and leave, except without their children. One father admitted on Reddit that some nights, he just wants to drive away and never come back. Some parents feel total despair when thinking about their kids and dread the rest of the day when they wake up in the morning and realize that they have to spend another day taking care of their kids.
8. Wishes They Could Have Seen The World Before Settling Down
This Whisper user doesn’t regret having her daughter, but she just wishes that she could have had her five years later. People are told that they should go out and explore the world before they settle down because once they get married and start having kids, there’s a good chance that they won’t be able to go on that world tour they’ve been saving up for. At least not without their children. Some people will tell you not to settle down until you get into your thirties. The Whisper user doesn’t wish she never had her daughter; she just wished she had at her a more convenient time. Unfortunately for her, life doesn’t work out like that. It’s not always convenient when you want it to be.
7. Never Wanted To Be A Mom
This Whisper user never wanted kids. Maybe marriage, but never kids. Plenty of young girls grow up thinking about how they’re going to get married when they get older, have kids, and pretty much implement the traditional family setup. Some girls already know how many kids they want before they graduate high school. But then, there are other girls who grew up not wanting kids and still don’t want kids during their adult lives, for varying reasons. But sometimes, surprises happen and a woman gets pregnant with a surprise baby that they may or may not have wanted; in this particular case, it’s the former. She never planned on having kids, and now that she’s got them, she’s more upset than ever.
6. Hates Being A Mom
You may have heard this before, but sometimes, a woman’s brain can change when she becomes a mother. During her pregnancy, she experiences a flood of hormones that cause her to feel affection for her unborn baby, which only magnifies when the baby is born. Changes in her brain can last for at least two years after birth, which helps her transition into motherhood. Of course, every woman is different. While some women feel nothing but joy and delight when their child is born, others feel nothing but a sense of dread, just like this Whisper user. She finds absolutely no joy in being a mother. Not even a little bit. She just really hates being a mother. And that’s probably never going to change.
5. Pressured Into Keeping Her Baby
The debate over whether or not abortion should be legal continues to divide Americans ever since the outcome of the Roe v. Wade case in 1973. There are plenty of people who firmly support either side and try to force their opinions onto other people. Some newly-pregnant women are forced into keeping their children by pro-lifers. Said pro-lifers believe that pregnant woman will love their children after seeing them for the first time after giving birth to him/her and will happily become mothers. That can be true for some mothers, but other mothers feel no more attachment to their newborn child than when they were still pregnant with him/her. Maybe that’s why one out of every six women who give birth experience symptoms of postpartum depression.
4. Daydreams About A Life Without Their Children
This Whisper user resents her children for holding her back from doing anything. “Anything” is pretty vague, so it’s unclear what this Whisper user wants to do or achieve that their children are keeping them from following through. Either way, she’s clearly not pleased about the new “additions” into her life and wishes she never had them in the first place. Sometimes, women have to put their careers on hold in order to take care of their children. Some women resent their children just because they find their lives post-childbirth to revolve around their kids and they want a life to themselves, which is why some of them wish they never had kids and fantasize about all the things they could be doing if they weren’t a mother, much like this Whisper user.
3. Was Forced Into A Marriage
From this Whisper confession, it seems that this Whisper user married her husband simply because he was the father of her child, which we all know happens quite often. Sometimes, a woman is forced to marry the father of her child by either her parents or his parents, so the child can grow up in a two-parent home. And other times, she decides to marry the father of her child of her own accord because that’s what she feels she should do. Unfortunately, not all of these marriages have happy endings. Many of them end in divorce, while others remain even though the love has long been gone between husband and wife. It’s obvious that the Whisper user wished she never had her son because he forced her into a marriage with a man she probably never intended to marry.
2. Can’t Handle Children
Not every person is meant to be a parent. Some people will try to force parenthood on other people, but it’s really not for everyone. So, if you can’t mentally handle children, then you’re probably one of those people who don’t want anything to do with kids. This Whisper user is one of those said people. Some parents love their children but just hate parenting them. There are also parents who love being parents but don’t like being parents all the time. They would like a break every once in a while, especially during the terrible twos. Maybe this Whisper user has young children that they find difficult to manage and they’re just wishing they could skip several years into the future where their kids are older and easier to manage.
1. Doesn’t Want Their Autistic Child
While every soon-to-be parent dreams of having a healthy baby without any disorders, disabilities, or health problems, not every parent gets a child like that. Some babies are born with heart defects, some with down syndrome, some with cerebral palsy, and some are born with autism. Some parents can roll with the punches when an autistic child is born to them, and while they may find it challenging at times, they wouldn’t trade that child for anything in the world. Others? Well, not so much. Some parents regret having kids when one of them turns out to be autistic, like this Whisper user. Whether or not their child has high functioning autism or not is unclear, since those with high functioning autism require less care, but it’s clear that this Whisper doesn’t care what kind of autism their child has, they just don’t want him.
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