If you want to catch fish, you have to go where they’re biting. For guys who look like Zac Efron, finding suitable places to fish for hot women isn’t a challenge. Every fishing hole is stocked when you’re that handsome and rich. No matter how unfavorable the girl-to-guy ratio or how slim the pickings, the best-looking guy in the room does alright for himself and gets first dibs on what’s available. You might be on an Army base in the Middle East with only a handful of beautiful women and hundreds of dudes vying for them. But if you’re Channing Tatum, is there any doubt you’re going home with one of the hot chicks? So it goes when you’re one of the lucky few who won the genetic lottery.
But what if you drew a less fortunate hand and look more like Tom Arnold than Tom Brady? Should you resign yourself to a lifetime of sleeping with subpar women or, worse, self-release? Unfortunately, many guys do when the cold reality hits home that they just don’t have it in the looks department. But there’s a better way. In certain cities, the fish are so plentiful and eager to bite that there aren’t enough Zacs and Channings and Toms to satisfy the demand. This means average and below-average looking guys who show up and cast their lines can catch what’s left over — and often, the leftovers are still choice catches. Here are 15 cities where even ugly guys can score with beautiful women.
15. New Orleans, Louisiana
When chicks leave their morals and inhibitions — and, often, their standards — at the door, dudes, even ugly ones, find it easier to score. Two American cities in particular feature especially lax morals. In these notorious dens of debauchery, visitors go so far as to claim that bad behavior partaken in while in the city doesn’t count. New Orleans is one of those cities. The other is Las Vegas, but that town presents more of a challenge for guys who aren’t good-looking or rich, as it’s male-dominated and chock full of high-rollers willing and able to throw down whatever it takes to land a dime piece for the evening. So that leaves New Orleans. The ratio is friendlier there, with more single chicks than single dudes on the prowl. And the bars are so cheap that money isn’t an issue. Women won’t know you aren’t rich unless you tell them.
14. Santiago, Chile
If you look American, whether handsome or not, you need to visit Santiago. First, the city is absolutely beautiful. Set against the backdrop of the Andes mountain range and featuring perhaps the most modern and cosmopolitan vibe of any South American city, Santiago is an absolute gem that too many people overlook when considering international destinations. Even better, the chicks there love, love, love American dudes. I spent a week there in 2009 for school. I have dark features and don’t necessarily stand out as an American. But my buddy, with his dirty blond hair, hazel eyes, and freckles, was a magnet for American-loving dimes. Seriously, this dude, who’s average looking at best and has middling success with women in America, barely had time to fulfill his school responsibilities because of all the hookups he was having on the trip!
13. Havana, Cuba
As long as you have no scruples about filling a murderous dictator’s coffers with your tourist dollars, Havana offers a prime pick-up venue for not-so-attractive dudes. And really, what’s a few bucks in support of a tyrant when you get a weekend of easy action with beautiful Cubanitas in return? If you’re not only unattractive but also of modest financial means, go ahead and move Havana to the top of your list. The trip out there, at least from US points of origin, is cheap. Since many Americans are leery about visiting Cuba, whether for moral reasons or because they (erroneously) believe it isn’t safe, airlines have slashed ticket prices to get butts in seats. Affordable lodging in Havana is plentiful on Airbnb or HomeAway. And the chicks there love to party.
12. Tempe/Scottsdale, Arizona
If you’re a high school senior looking at colleges, and your goal is to get the best education and the most valuable degree to embark on a fruitful career, your list might look like this: Stanford, Harvard, Princeton, Penn, UChicago, and so forth. But if your goal is to party and hook up with the hottest college chicks in America, your list should look like this: Arizona State. Even if you’re an ugly dude, so many hot chicks attend ASU that it doesn’t matter. There are plenty to go around. The same way a 34 ACT is dumb for Harvard, a chick below an 8 on the 1-10 scale is homely for ASU. Assortative mating works out in your favor because even though you’re hooking up with the ugliest chicks on campus, those chicks would be considered hot at Michigan or Notre Dame. And the fun doesn’t end after graduation. Right down the road from Tempe is Scottsdale, where you’ll find one of the largest assortments of hot 25 to 50-year-old women in America.
11. New York, New York
The plight of attractive yet perpetually single women in NYC has served as a common romantic comedy and TV show plot for decades. There’s a good reason. The girl-to-guy ratio is all out of whack in NYC, and it tilts heavily in favor of the fellas. The exact breakdown is, according to the 2010 US Census, 52.3 percent women and 47.7 percent men. But those figures include everyone from tiny infants to geriatrics, not to mention a huge chunk of people who are married, gay, or in committed relationships. Among eligible singles, the numbers look quite different. People on the front lines of the NYC dating trenches report ratios as slanted as four single chicks per single dude. That Carrie Bradshaw was desperate enough to settle for scrubs from time to time should provide ugly guys with a major confidence injection.
10. Beijing, China
If you’re an American dude who’s average-looking or below and looking to score internationally, pay heed to one rule when crossing the pond: avoid Europe and head to Asia. Many, though not all, chicks in Western Europe take a condescending view toward Americans and perceive us as uncultured brutes. Which is ironic, seeing that no modern culture gets appropriated more than America’s does. Put a McDonald’s in Paris, and they’re tossing out their Brie and rushing in for a Big Mac — while Katy Perry or Bruno Mars blares on their iPhone speakers. But the chicks in Asia, particularly China, can’t get enough of American men. The Chinese government might hate our guts, but the female citizens are like rebellious teenage girls who chase after the dudes that Daddy can’t stand.
9. Kigali, Rwanda
Keep an open mind here. If you’re like most people, you haven’t heard or thought much about Rwanda since seeing the crushing footage and reading the sordid details of the 1994 genocide. The country has turned around in the intervening two decades, and in a big way. The urban core of Kigali is clean, high-tech, even cosmopolitan. Chicks walk around carrying Prada bags and talking on smartphones. There’s nightlife. People have money and drive nice cars. The crime rate is low for an African country. Perhaps best of all, most Americans haven’t figured any of this out yet, so they don’t visit. That means as an American, you’ll stand out. Locals will be curious and want to talk to you. They won’t care that you don’t look like George Clooney. Oh, and did I mention that Kigali has some seriously fine African beauties? Book your ticket!
8. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Philadelphia is an amazing city. Though often viewed as NYC’s little brother, Philly has more history and, in this author’s humble opinion, more culture and personality. It’s cheaper, too, so if you’re looking to score on a budget, definitely consider Philly. Why is it great for ugly guys? First, like most big cities in the northeast (though Philly is technically part of the mid-Atlantic region), Philly has more female than male residents. So you have supply and demand dynamics working in your favor. Higher demand than supply for available men means your price — measured as your perceived attractiveness — increases. Bam, you’re in like Flynn. Moreover, Philly lacks the glitz and glamor of NYC. Much of your competition will look like you, not like Goldman Sachs i-bankers in $3,000 Italian suits. Lastly, it’s a huge college town. In Philly and the immediate surrounding areas you have Penn, Temple, Villanova, Drexel, La Salle, St. Joe’s, Haverford, Bryn Mawr, and probably more that I’m forgetting. Where there are college chicks, partying and fooling around usually follows.
7. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Philly might be NYC’s little brother, but it has its own little brother, Pittsburgh, located 300 miles to the west. Pittsburgh is colder, grayer, and grittier than Philly. But the city has made huge strides since the steel industry collapse decimated it in the ’70s. The downtown is clean and walkable, the people are friendly and outgoing, and the crime rate is impressively low. But the city’s bar scene is what makes it perfect for ugly guys seeking hot women. Pittsburgh features more bars per capita than any city in America, at 12 per 1,000 residents. And let’s face it, when you’re an out-of-towner trying to score with chicks, where else are you going to meet them other than bars? In Pittsburgh, if you strike out at one bar, it’s not far to the next one, and then the next one, and so on. Eventually, you’ve got to stumble upon some action.
6. Boston, Massachusetts
Boston is the most educated city in America, with 45 percent of residents holding Bachelor’s degrees and 20 percent with a Master’s or higher. The chicks in Boston — of which there are 10 percent more than there are men — care more about brains than looks. If you have the body of Vin Diesel or The Rock but can’t string together a grammatically correct sentence or remember the last book you read, head to L.A. or South Beach and you should have no problems scoring. But if your most attractive body part is tucked into your cranium, you might have better luck in Boston. Since winter in the Bay State lasts about 11.5 months, your love handles and man boobs remain safely hidden under layers of Patagonia and North Face. But when the conversation turns to Stephen Hawking or Fyodor Dostoevsky, you can really show your stuff.
5. San Jose, Costa Rica
Costa Rica offers a good middle ground if you want to score internationally but don’t have the time or funds to jet around the world or deep into South America. It’s infinitely safer and cleaner than most Central American countries. It has a young population and several universities, which means good nightlife and abundant opportunities to meet single chicks. It’s also, perhaps surprisingly, a very liberal country, and the chicks in Costa Rica love tourists. Many of them speak English and have a special affinity for Americans. This can bump you up a few points on the 1-10 scale, elevating you from ugly to average or average to handsome. A couple warnings — one, quite a few chicks out on the town are “pros,” if you catch my drift, so make sure you’re both clear what the deal is before getting down to business. Also — if you’re not going to wrap it, stay home and fap it. The STD rate in Costa Rica is no joke.
4. Charleston, South Carolina
Charleston is yet another East Coast city with a lopsided girl-to-guy ratio. What’s more, every time I’ve visited, I’ve noticed the same thing while cruising the bar scene or sunning at the local beaches — average-looking (or below) beer-bellied dudes with shaggy hair, wearing pastel shirts, plaid shorts, tattered baseball caps and flip flops, and they have stunningly gorgeous women on their arms. This is a phenomenon in many Southern cities, but nowhere is it more pronounced than in Charleston. Chicks in Charleston love Southern boys. If you can pull off the Southern vibe, it doesn’t matter what you look like, you can score with beautiful women in Charleston. And the Southern vibe isn’t difficult to pull off. Just outfit yourself as described above, order sweet tea with your meals, work a few Faulkner references into your conversations, and if you want to go all out, throw on a bow tie.
3. Bangkok, Thailand
Literally every chick in Thailand dreams of finding a Western husband to sweep her away to a better life. These chicks aren’t looking for pre-domestic assault Johnny Depp, they’re looking for any dude who can fog a mirror and lives in North America or Western Europe. Toss in the maniacal nightlife scene of Bangkok, and the result is a perfect situation for ugly guys to score with ease. Many of the chicks, when meeting a Western dude, get down to business first and pursue romance later. If they don’t get busy fast enough, they fear, another chick’ll swoop in and steal their future husband. So they don’t expect you to spend too much time on traditional dating formalities. That said, chasing chicks in Thailand is easier for guys unencumbered by that pesky thing known as a conscience. The women really are desperate. Ask yourself if you’re fine with exploiting their desperation for your own carnal pleasures.
2. Moscow, Russia
Most chicks in Moscow, and really anywhere in the former Soviet Bloc, care more about money and power — particularly power — than they care about looks. Case in point, the current president of the United States and First Lady. If you can project confidence, power, and status, you can look like, well Donald Trump, and still score with hot Eastern European chicks. Appearing high-status in Eastern Europe isn’t difficult. The exchange rate strongly favors Americans. When I lived in Nashville, Tennessee, I knew a dentist who’d work half the year and spend the other half in Russia and Ukraine. He’d take $25,000 over there and, as he put it, “live like a [bleeping] king for six months.” When he’d go out, chicks would see the money he was throwing around and swarm to him like moths to a flame. One year he showed me his camera roll when he got back, and no joke, some of these women made Anna Kournikova look like Barbara Walters. And, just for the record, this dentist was not good-looking.
1. Las Vegas, Nevada
I know, I know, I said when discussing New Orleans that Las Vegas has too many dudes and too many high rollers for ugly guys to be competitive. But for the truly desperate, the city offers one advantage that can’t be found elsewhere in America. You can pay to play, and you can do it legally. For $300, a beautiful woman can be dispatched to your hotel room in under 10 minutes. And because your money spends the same as Brad Pitt‘s, she isn’t going to turn you down for looks. Forget your ethical qualms. What’s more ethical than two consenting adults being clear with each other about their intentions? And moreover, when you think about it, is paying a lady of the night for sex all that different than buying a chick expensive jewelry or taking her to a fancy restaurant and hoping for sex afterward? Sex isn’t and has never been free. At least in Las Vegas, no matter what you look like, you can get it for a fair and mutually agreed-upon price.
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