When someone achieves fame, money is usually close behind. Whether your fame is due to incredible talent, such as The Beatles, or your fame has nothing to do with talent, such as the Cash Me Ousside girl, the Kardashians, or anyone else on reality TV, there is generally some funds involved. With large sums of money comes the ability to do and buy amazing things.
Notice that we said “the ability to do and buy amazing things.” Just because the option is there, nothing guarantees that “amazing things” will result from money. People with money may travel, hold unbelievable parties, start new businesses, fund and create charities, build awe-inspiring homes, and of course, fill those homes with beautiful furniture, home theaters, indoor pools, and garages full of fantastic vehicles.
Among the rich and famous with the finest collections of cars are Jay Leno, Jerry Seinfeld, and Floyd Mayweather. Each of them has spent millions of their hard-earned dollars on four-wheeled masterpieces. Of course, the idea that money buys incredible things goes both ways. Not all large sums of money go toward worthy causes and nice things. Often in this crazy world of ours, a celebrity will buy a stunning car and then get modifications done, turning the vehicle into a personalized abomination. While most celebrities buy great cars and then enjoy them, some like to buy a set of wheels and then trick it out in the stupidest way possible. Here are fifteen of the worst offenders…clowns who took magnificent automobiles and turned them into embarrassments.
15. Sylvester Stallone
We decided to use Sylvester Stallone first because the car that got him on the list really isn’t that bad. It’s a 2006 Ford Mustang GT, which is a reasonably nice-looking car on its own. But the amount of work he had done to it was overboard. Sly, who is known as a bit of an egomaniac (not that his film career doesn’t warrant some pride), has his initials on the seats and floor mats, along with an exterior paint job with a design that might have looked great back in the early 1980’s.
He sold it back in 2011, so there was clearly someone looking for a unique car that was once owned by a famous person. It was bought for almost $80,000, which is absurd for a car like this. But who are we to judge anyway?
14. Josh Gordon
For those who aren’t football enthusiasts, we’ll save you the trip to Wikipedia. Josh Gordon is an NFL wide receiver whose status is up in the air for now. He looked like something special with Baylor and got drafted in 2012 by the Cleveland Browns, which is a death sentence in and of itself. He made the Pro Bowl in 2013, leading the league in receiving yards, but has been suspended by the league a couple of times since because of drugs and is now considered a gamble for teams to sign.
We, on the other hand, would like to suspend his driver’s license for this camouflaged Porsche Panamera with orange rims. The Panamera isn’t a particularly nice Porsche model to begin with but dressing it up like a redneck on a hunting trip wasn’t a great choice. Maybe if he stops smoking dope and signs a new contract, he can buy something else and hopefully from a dealer who slaps him when he asks to have it decked out in woodland camo.
We hate to insult anything about will.i.am and his career, so we won’t. But a couple of his cars are not really nice to look at. The rapper and former member of the Black Eyed Peas is a science and tech enthusiast and we applaud him for all his entrepreneurial exploits. But dang, these two cars are just a pair of monstrosities. His heavily-modified DeLorean, which is phenomenally illegal, was impounded by the cops a few years ago, and just looks like a nasty mistake. His other notable ugly car is based off a 1958 Volkswagen Beetle, but looks nothing like the original car. It was built by West Coast Customs and barely even looks like the original car, resembling something out of the 1930’s. They sure are unique, but not everything that looks unique is good or beautiful. You get our drift?
12. Sonny And Cher
While we wanted to primarily include current and at least recent celebrities, we had to dig through the archives of terrible celebrity cars for this gem. It goes all the way back to the 60’s when Sonny and Cher Bono were a pair of young pop singers and of course, during that magical time period when Cher did not look like a man trying to look like Morticia Addams. Too harsh? We don’t think so as there’s a lot of resemblance, isn’t there?
The two cars may have looked good at the time (although we question that) but with hindsight being 20/20, the golden and hot pink 1966 Mustangs look terrible and stand as examples of atrocious vehicles that have become iconic. They have been sold at auctions for a few times. These two cars have always been kept together, most recently selling for just under $128,000 in 2016.
Deadmau5 (pronounced Dead Mouse, not deadmow-five, for those not familiar with the electronic music scene), is one of the best when it comes to house music and wearing large mouse-heads. However, his over-the-top designs for cars have gotten him into a minor legal situation. Featured above is his “Purrari.” Anyone who knows anything about this guy knows he likes cats. To prove that, he had his Ferrari 458 wrapped with a Nyan Cat theme. Ferrari, who take their vehicles very seriously, were less than pleased with the design on one of their cars. They sent him a cease and desist letter demanding him to remove the wrap.
More recently, he bought a MacLaren P1 and this time he went with a design involving spades (the card suit, not shovels). It may not be nice, but it’s better than the Purrari. So far, we aren’t aware of MacLaren breathing down his neck on this one.
10. Mario Balotelli
Italian footballer, Mario Balotelli, is known for a few things in the world of soccer—being a beast of a striker and a difficult man to defeat, with moves, strength, and a personality. That personality may be abrasive, difficult, and even infuriating, as his managers and coaches have admitted, but the man gets it done on the field. Now, remember what we said about Josh Gordon’s car? Well, we can say much of the same about Balotelli’s Bentley Continental GT. The GT is looking unique enough polarizing the car-loving community. But adding the camouflage wrap was the icing on the cake. Normally, when people buy a Porsche or Bentley, they want to be seen, but it seems Gordon and Balotelli want to be able to hunt in the wilderness from their luxury vehicles.
9. Paris Hilton
If you follow reality television and are even remotely familiar with Paris Hilton, you probably consider her a vile, spoiled brat. These days, she’s less into the nonsense and shallow personality and more into growing her empire, mainly composed of fashion and beauty products. In other words, she’s grown up, but we’ll always have memories of her infamous video and this dreadful pink Bentley Continental. Much like Balotelli’s car, the vehicle itself is a nice one, but the pink is even more visually offensive than the camo. Although it worked with her image when she got it, that still doesn’t excuse her from turning a Bentley into something that looks like Barbie would drive it.
8. Nicki Minaj
We’re going to list two pink cars in a row right now because we just want to get this madness over with. While we’re fans of Nicki Minaj‘s looks (the posterior is too nice not to pay attention to) and can stand some of her music (it’s not all awful, is it? Okay, maybe not the music), doing this to a car is a serious bit of cruelty and eclipses Paris Hilton’s Bentley. This Aventador (worth over $400,000, by the way) got this nightmare-ish pink color just in time for her clothing line to debut at K-Mart. She also has a pink Bentley and a pink Range Rover, because that is her thing. Everything is pink, because girls and stuff, right? We don’t get it. Don’t misunderstand, the color pink is fine and it’s wonderful when women wear the color, but it just looks terrible on a car.
7. Austin Mahone
Based on his sets of wheels, Texan singer Austin Mahone is halfway between a car fanatic and a child with ADHD. We say this because he seems to have a different wrap on his car every time we see one of his four wheels. There are some pretty bad ones and we feel bad that his Range Rover, a great car and an icon in terms of rugged luxury, has been put through such abuse. Of course, the Range Rover brand doesn’t make the nicest SUVs out there, but anyone who has ever been in one can’t complain about the experience. They’re basically high-quality. He’s had wraps on that car that look like nothing but red pebbles, one that looks like a broken piece of stained glass, and the black and white one that looks an awful lot like a bad mashup of the works of Pablo Picasso and M.C. Escher.
While we’re happy that Jersey Shore is over, we’ll never forget Snooki, Situation, and the rest of those wacky characters for the memories. As bad as the show was, it was hard to look away from the train wreck. We’ll also never be able to forget Snooki’s nasty Cadillac Escalade. Much like Austin Mahone’s Range Rover, the Escalade is a really nice vehicle and is about as luxurious as an SUV can be. We’re not sure whether the pink trim and “Hello Kitty” sticker on the back are worse than the all-pink vehicles we already listed, but we decided to list this one alone nonetheless because that brutal yellow (yeah, we know they want to call it gold) New York license plate looks like all kinds of terrible, like it does on all NY state cars. It may say “Boss Lady” above the rear bumper, but the rest of the car screams bad taste.
5. Metta World Peace
Ron Artest, who is now known as Metta World Peace because he’s ridiculous and thinks changing one’s name will inspire positive change in the world. Okay, we have to admit that he has amazing defending skills on the basketball court but boy, has he the taste of a teenager on a budget when it comes to buying and decorating cars. Admittedly, the car here isn’t a particularly nice one, but we wouldn’t complain about a Hyundai Genesis. But what aesthetics the basic car does have are completely wiped out by the disastrous decoration on the front which looks like it may be a series of stickers haphazardly stuck on the car by some kid walking along the sidewalk.
4. Darren McFadden
Like many cars on this list, there is no doubt that Dallas Cowboys’ running back Darren McFadden‘s purple and light turquoise Buick Centurion with 32-inch wheels, is unique. But once again, unique doesn’t always equate to “good.” The Centurion isn’t necessarily one of Buick’s nicer models, but the car is a rare one these days. The model was only produced for three years in the early 1970’s, and while over 100,000 of them were made, about 10,000 of those were convertibles. While these cars are really hard to find these days, this guy unfortunately massacred his. With that being said, he has some other nice cars including a Monte Carlo and a Bentley, but the Centurion is an eyesore.
3. Dennis Rodman
As far as athletes on this list, Dennis Rodman has a Hummer that only the man could love. While there is no shortage of athletes out there who are ludicrous people and have quirky personalities, Dennis Rodman is metaphorically looking at all of them in the rear-view mirror. The guy played with Michael Jordan during one of the greatest dynasties in sports history but people these days will only ever remember him for the hairstyles, the piercings, the maniacal public persona, and quite possibly, this car of his. This 1996 Hummer H1 is a frat boy’s dream, as the paint job looks like nothing more than some cracked concrete along with bare-chested women all over it. We can’t tell if it has been sold, but it was up for bids in 2015 and 2016 for over $55,000. We’d buy it, but we have to imagine there are laws in some places about having nudity (albeit cartoon nudity) on a vehicle.
2. Justin Bieber
We, like most guys out there, want to hate on Justin Bieber‘s car collection, but most of the cars in it are awesome. He likes black on his vehicles, boasting a Cadillac CTS-V that he refers to as his Batmobile, a couple of SUVs, and a Ferrari 430 in flat black. He also has a chrome-wrapped Fiskar Karma, a white Ferrari 458, a matching Aventador, a Porsche 997, and a couple of motorcycles including a Ducati and an MV Agusta. Thank heavens none of these cars have been ruined. While white and black are not our first colors for these vehicles, we can’t fault them too much. Unfortunately, he destroyed an Audi R8. We can’t imagine why someone would think a leopard print wrap would look good on an R8, but there it is.
1. Chris Brown
We’ll start off this tirade on Chris Brown‘s terrible taste with a few compliments, because he does have some nice cars in his collection. Among the nice cars that he did not completely ruin are a red and black Dodge Viper, a black Porsche Turbo, a Bugatti Veyron, and an untouched orange Lamborghini. His nicest whip is without any shadow of a doubt, the Rezvani Beast, an unreal car. Thankfully, he didn’t do to this car, what he has done to others.
He also has a Lamborghini Gallardo with Tupac lyrics all over it which is cool, but that doesn’t count as one of the cars he has ruined. We’ll put this in a class of its own entitled “nostalgic and kind of cool.”
He has another Gallardo that he tried to make look like a fighter jet. If Tom Cruise did it, he could away with it, but not Chris Brown. He has another Lambo painted with some absurd red-grey-black camouflage pattern, another with some Hot Wheels-esque stripes and of course, a Porsche Panamera with some graffiti faces on it. It’s a luxury sedan, for goodness sake, not a cement wall in a crappy neighborhood! The worst thing Chris Brown ever did (allegedly) was beat a woman, but this Panamera is probably in second. That is unless you hate rap in which case his singing career may be second.
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