Some would say taste is in the eye of the beholder. That anything can be beautiful if it’s done right. Others would disagree and say that some things should never be tried, no matter how well they’re executed.
For most people, decking out their car or getting a tattoo adds a nice touch of personalization to their lives, one that says this is my body or my stuff. But some people take that personalization way too far, so far that it crosses any boundaries of taste. These people put such a spin on style that it makes you wonder what they were smoking when they came up with these ideas. People who need to go back in time to meet with their high school guidance counsellors and ask again what choices are available to them in their lives, and actually listen.
Variety in life is nice – if everything in the world was tasteful, life would be boring. There’s no doubt that some of the objects are this list are excellently done – some are so good you’ll be scratching your head and saying, “maybe it was worth it after all?” But look again, and you’ll realize that there is no way that these items should ever exist at all. From highly questionable furniture choices to horrifying body art, here are ten of the worst images the internet has to offer – and five that are so incredible that we just can’t look away.
15. Cike (Nike Cake)
The first thing that you’ll notice about this cake is how realistic it seems – right down to the untied laces. Whoever designed and baked this cake is a true pastry artist.
But then there’s the fact that they used that talent on something as unappetizing as a shoe, and how disappointing the whole dessert looks. The slice that’s taken out doesn’t look all that good, which makes us wonder if the weird shape made the whole thing impossible to bake. And that metallic shade of silver doesn’t look like anything anyone should put in their mouths. There’s also the sad fact that this piece of art was made to be destroyed, rendered into a pile of greasy crumbs by the kids at some birthday party.
14. Face-Shaped Haircuts
We’ll start this list off with this bizarre atrocity that seems dead set on embarrassing barbers everywhere.
First of all, there’s only one angle from which the face is even visible – the top. It appears that these people are expecting someone to fly over in a helicopter in order to enjoy their work of modern art. Second, this idea, while well-executed by the poor sod who had to shave their heads, wasn’t even all that great in the first place, because four round heads clustered together does not remotely begin to form the round shape of a face.
If they really wanted to do it right, they’d need two more bald heads to form cheeks. More importantly, how many times are they going to pose together in this exact formation before the whole thing grows out? Next time these four guys have a brilliant idea for an art project, we recommend they use a more suitable canvas.
13. Eyes Tattooed On Wrist
I get why this seemed like a good idea – I do. It’s a cool party trick and would make for a great babysitting icebreaker. There’s some good work here – the detail around the eyes is excellent, adding a sort of eerie uncanny effect to the whole experience. It seems like they might be Christopher Walken’s eyes gazing out at you from across the table in some dystopian science-fiction movie – or maybe this guy’s real eyes actually look like that (it’s impossible to tell from this picture alone).
But then you’ve got to consider the fact that he has to live with random eyes on his wrist for the rest of his life. I can just imagine this guy going for a job interview, shaking someone’s hand, and being asked what the hell that is. Maybe he’d pull the party trick and get the job – but more likely, when he’s seventy and the eyes are as saggy as his skin, he’ll question his life choices.
12. Convertible Knife Skateboard
It’s a perfectly functional skateboard but it’s also – a butterfly knife? We’re not sure who came up with this brilliant piece of engineering, but we’ve got admit it’s pretty ingenious, taking “concealed weapons” and giving it a whole new meaning. If you’re skating down a dark alley late at night and you get mugged by a bunch of punks it’s nice to have an unexpected line of defense hidden on your person. It could also come in handy if you find your clothes caught on a chain-link fence while you’re trying to run away from a break-and-enter.
But as amazing as this tool is, we have to wonder if there was really a demand for this product out there on the market. There’s got to be some fear that the knife might slide out accidentally and chop your leg off. It’s probably clunkier and heavier than a regular skateboard, and at the end of the day, entirely unnecessary. Just carry a switchblade in your pocket like everyone else, dude.
11. Cigs & Booze Halloween Costume
Alcohol and cigarettes are a great way to throw a giant middle finger up towards your parents for spending fifteen to twenty years lovingly raising you and instead steer your life towards lung cancer, cirrhosis and depression. They’re important vices almost every teenager must embrace. But this guy’s just wrecking the whole program. If you’re the one dressing your kid up like this, then he’s going to have nothing to rebel against.
We get why you’re dressing up as a bottle of Jack Daniels for Halloween – it’s a good costume, and it advertises to everyone at the party that you’re only there to get plastered, which is your right as a grown adult. But bringing the kid in the Marlboro costume is just ice cold. He only looks about seven or eight – give him another decade to decide on his own that he wants to permanently scar his liver and suffer from emphysema. The ghost and superhero costumes are over that way.
10. The Teatanic
So this is a fun little kitchen utensil. You fill it up with tea leaves, drop it in boiling water and watch as 1500 people die a horrible death. That’s not my idea of an ideal morning as I wait with a pounding head for a caffeine fix.
We can see how weird jokey accoutrements like this would appeal to a certain type of off-the-cuff jokesters – weird uncles and cat ladies. Forget all this gravitas we treat history with – death is just a part of life, after all. Maybe it also appeals to people who are deliberately going dark and exploring how tasteless they can really get – university students who think the Titanic is one big joke and don’t have any empathy for the people who actually died. It also might be seen as honorary for the historian or descendant of a Titanic victim who feels it’s important to keep memorabilia around the house to make sure that no one forgets about the tragedy.
But even if a century later isn’t too soon for an item like this, it still seems undeniably tasteless. Anyone who buys this will probably feel like a horrible person later on for laughing at the lark.
9. Big Rig Boat
We’re not sure what it is exactly, but it seems to be a marriage between a tractor trailer and a speedboat. It shouldn’t take a genius to figure why this is a bad idea – balance, for one. Last time I checked the goal was stay on top of the water, not wind up in it.
Then we have the fact that the whole getup just looks ugly. I guess the idea is that it’ll have shock value when it’s in the water and fellow boaters see what appears to be a truck driving out at them, but we’re not sure that gag is worth seeing this eyesore on land.
There appear to be a whole lot of accoutrements added on here which seem useless and/or potentially hazardous when this monstrosity is out on the water – the wheel well and the grille seem like they exist for aesthetic purposes only, and we’re not sure if that exhaust pipe is connected to the engine (if it is, that’s actually pretty clever).
Next, we have this horrifying work of body art. This girl isn’t bad-looking, but I can’t help but wonder if she’s trying to tell us something with her questionable life choices. Just imagine taking this girl home and getting her out of her shirt only to find that thing jumping out at you. We’re not even sure what it is, exactly – it appears to be a shark devouring some sort of helpless baby. Maybe it’s her way of letting you know how she’ll treat you in the sack.
But the weirdest thing about this tattoo might be its placement. If you’re wearing that thing on your leg, it might be a red flag, but mostly just a cool piece of body art. But the armpit isn’t exactly anybody’s idea of a favourite body part. And, like – didn’t that hurt? And what happens if she forgets to shave for a week and it gets covered up with gnarly pit hair? Gross.
7. Exploding Dresser
This is just bizarre. It appears to be real furniture, but it belongs to a world of magic, portals and a crack in the space-time continuum. I wonder if we’ve stumbled on a reject for the latest theatrical production of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.
The kid posing with it seems so proud of his design. And while we must admit that the design is kind of cool, we can’t help but wonder about the practicality of this item as a piece of actual furniture. The top three drawers are angled half sideways, which is okay to look at but less useful if you actually need to put your underwear away. And it’s wider at the top than the bottom, which means it probably won’t fit next to anything in your bedroom. Not to mention that there’s no room to put anything on top of it. So excellent work on designing a completely useless piece of furniture, I guess.
6. Cartoon Back Tat
Back tattoos can be baller. If you’re going to go whole hog and hand the largest canvas the human body has to offer over to a tattoo artist, you might as well ask for a masterpiece. Something that, if you take off your shirt and show somebody, they gasp and say, “Oh my God, that’s amazing.”
This is not that back tat. King of the Hill may have had its perks as a show, but terrific art was not one of them. The same goes for The Simpsons and Rick & Morty. The characters are drawn ugly on purpose. As the poster of this image writes: “I wouldn’t put it on my body.” The worst thing about this tattoo isn’t that it exists, but that the sheer size of it makes it totally unavoidable.
We’ve got to think that maybe if this guy had better taste in shows, he’d have better taste in body art and life altogether.
5. Red Riding Hood Back Tat
Some horrible decisions are so incredible you just can’t look away from them. As unnecessary as this back tat seems, it’s undeniably beautiful. The question of why anyone would ever get this placed on their body is almost overwhelmed by the fact that it’s pretty freaking awesome. From the meticulous detail paid to the features on the wolf’s face to the expression of anxiety on Riding’s face, this is the work of a true artist.
Most people are familiar with the children’s story, but it seems this woman must have a personal connection to Red Riding Hood’s plight. Maybe the whole thing is a dark message to an ex-boyfriend or father figure. Maybe she’s running away from a stalker. Or maybe she just loves the story. But as much as I may question this person’s life choices, I sort of want to hang this picture on my wall.
4. Horrifying Parapet
Okay, what even is this building? The brick looks ancient and it’s built like a castle parapet from the 15th century, but it doesn’t appear to be surrounded by any similar buildings. It’s probably some kind of ruin, but it’s been bastardized into some kind of nightmare-inducing modern-art piece. How can you look at this thing and not want to run the other way?
But all that said, it’s excellent at giving us a scare. While we might wonder whether the ruin itself is being given the proper gravitas given that it’s been stripped and painted pink, the artist who chose to work on it has made it into an artifact that cannot be looked away from. It seems to be some kind of a reference to celebrated painting The Scream by Edvard Munch, but if anything, this 3-dimensional monstrosity is more horrifying than any painting.
3. Butter Car
It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a – butter car? If you look closely enough, you can tell that yes, this mobile advertisement does indeed have wheels. We’ve got to admit that this thing is kind of cool – the way it’s shaped like a block of butter really drives home the point of what the company is selling. And the fact that it’s hard to tell what it is makes it intriguing. Imagine driving down the highway and seeing that driving in the other direction – that’d take your eyes off the road.
Why it exists at all is a big enough question in the first place, but most specifically we’re wondering what “Grass-Fed Butter” even means? Does the butter have a mouth? We have to question the taste of this company’s marketing executives, because if they came up with a better slogan, maybe they wouldn’t need such an ugly car. Then again, it makes for something to stare at on a boring day in the suburbs.
2. Army Truck TV Stand
First of all, this is excellent work. Looking at this thing, I can’t help but wonder if the whole wall is going to collapse into me to reveal Horvath and Miller yelling that they’re trying to locate Private Ryan. It fits with the whole World War Two motif of the living room, and it’s a good-looking piece of art.
But all that is not to mention that it’s a TV stand. I’m not sure I’d want the decor in my den to be more interesting than the show I was trying to watch on the TV. I can just imagine a girl trying to watch Toddlers and Tiaras on this thing and being too frightened by the decor to look at the screen.
1. Dentist’s Office
Going to the dentist is terrifying enough without having to walk through a wall of teeth to get there. It’s like this dentist is waving your fear in your face, like a mad scientist inviting you into his lair. Not to mention that it’s got to feel like you’re being eaten alive when you walk in – like you’re the same morsel of plaque the dentist is about to reach in and destroy.
While this might be a good way of teaching kids what’s going inside their mouths, I’m not sure scaring them half to death with something out of a life-size Jaws remake is the best way to make them pay attention. Just imagine going for open heart surgery and walking through a beating heart just to get there. It would make the whole terrifying prospect of your surgery even worse.
The bottom line is, would you trust someone with taste this bad to do a good job of cleaning your teeth?
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