Relationships are tricky, complicated, amazing and thrilling all at the same time. Falling in love is one of the most magical feelings any human will ever experience and for those of us lucky enough to find love, we should not be letting little things like exes get in the way of that.
Although most women want to believe that the man they are with never loved a woman before them, we all know that in most cases that is not true.
A lot of people, including myself, have had moments of paranoia when it comes to ex-girlfriends. The reality is that if you think your man is not into you and is using you as a rebound then you should not be with him.
However, how can you tell if he is still feeling his ex? There are certain obvious signs that you will be able to pick up on after reading this article. In order to not get you too paranoid, I also included a few signs to tell if he is feeling you!
My advice, if you find an amazing guy that you know loves you, don't even bring up the ex, she was the entree, an “amuse bouche”, you, my dear, are the main course. Here are 10 signs that show he is still into his ex, and 5 that mean he's into just you!
15 Still Into Her: Talks About Her A Lot
This is one of the most obvious and annoying signs that your man is still thinking about his ex. If he is always finding ways of bringing her into the conversation, chances are, he is just finding excuses to talk about her.
I have been in this situation before and all it leads to is you feeling insecure about the relationship. If you are not able to talk about how this is making you feel without him getting defensive there is a big chance that you should start thinking about taking some space. However, if your man brings her up here and there, it is normal- remember she was part of his life so a lot of his memories may be with her.
This does not mean he does not like you, it just means he needs to get closure before he can let someone else into his heart.
14 Still Into Her: Stalks Her Social Media
I hate to admit it but whoever is in your mans “suggested” searches on Instagram is who he is looking at most, which means it is who he is thinking about most.I hate to admit it but whoever is in your mans “suggested” searches on Instagram is who he is looking at most, which means it is who he is thinking about most.
Guys may not admit to this, but they do a little stalking themselves. Regardless of what they tell you, men like to know what is up with the girl that they can't get out of their minds.
A lot of guys find themselves looking at their ex's profiles which can be a sign that they are pining for them. This is not the best sign for you. This is one of those things that you can either take with a grain of salt and ignore or you can confront it and move on.
13 He Prefers You: Talks About A Future With You
If you are a real man, a man that is mature and level-headed and he speaks about a future with you, that is the most telling sign that he is beyond into you. A man will not talk about marriage and babies with you unless that is what is on his mind.
When men hit a certain phase, they stop looking for a girlfriend and begin looking for a wife and if you find your man talking about future plans with you then you have nothing to worry about.
At the end of the day, girlfriends will not matter at a point, when you becomes his wife and the mother of his children you will understand that she was just a small part of his life, while you have given him his life.
The point is if he is talking about long-term things with you that is because he wants you around for the long term.
12 Still Into Her: Keeps In Touch With Her
It is one thing to get a text here and there but it is another thing to be talking to an ex on a daily and if you find your boyfriend always finding excuses to chat with his ex then maybe you should start coming up with excuses to leave his ass!
If a man is in love with a woman he is not going to seek attention from his ex-girlfriend, that is what little boys do. Listen, it is understandable to keep an open dialogue relationship with an ex, meaning wishing them a happy birthday or asking them a question here and there but when it becomes a weekly routine that is when the problem becomes visible.
Find out how often he talks to his ex and if it is an amount of time that makes you uncomfortable and he does not want to change that for your comfort then maybe this is not the right guy for you.
11 He Prefers You: Brings You Around His Friends And Family
This is a pretty obvious and straightforward clue but I thought I should include it because it is that telling. If he brings you to his friends and his family chances are his ex is ancient history.
Friends and family are usually the most important and biggest critics when it comes to men and dating. If he brings you around his world it is proof that he is proud that you are on his arm and that there is no one else he would rather be with.
There is a reason his ex is his ex so do not be super insecure unless you want to be his ex also. If everyone he loves knows he loves you then chances are you are in the clear when it comes to other women.
10 Still Into Her: Keeps Photos Of The Two Of Them
In this day and age, it is normal to have a lot of pictures with exes however, if they are still framed in his place, or all over his social media this should be a warning sign to you as his new girlfriend.
Women may be crazy at times, but we are able to understand (not accept) that our boyfriends were in love before us, however, we do not need to see photo evidence of this time. All that should be cleared up before the two of you get too serious or else it will cause a lot of tension in the long run.
If you bring this up to the man in your life and he does not do anything to change it, chances are he will not be your man for that much longer.
9 Still Into Her: Has Called You By Her Name
This is one of the worst feelings in the world– I know from experience.
One night I was with a boyfriend at his friend's apartment when he called me by his ex-girlfriends name. I tried not to make a big deal out of it but the reality was that it broke my heart a little bit.
As humans, our subconscious is something that we do not understand well, but it tends to know you very well. If your boyfriend keeps calling you by his ex's name, there is some psycho-analysis that will show that she is subconsciously who he is thinking of.
If you find this becoming something that happens often, I hate to tell you it is not a good sign and maybe time to think about where this relationship is going.
8 He Prefers You: Calls You His Girlfriend
If a guy is openly making you his girlfriend then chances are he wants to be with you and only you.
We live in a “hook-up” culture so it is easy in this day and age not to put titles on relationships. Which is why it is meaningful when he does and shows not only o you but to the world that you are his lady.
There are so many steps to becoming someone's girlfriend that you need to take before spending the rest of your life with someone, but committing to one another is a great start.
By not putting titles on things, you leave relationships open for interpretation and by getting a title like a girlfriend you are telling yourself and the world that you are building a life with that person.
7 Still Into Her: Compares You To Her
Any man that is comparing his ex to his new girlfriend is a fool. Women, no matter how confident we come off all have things that we are insecure about.
When a man starts comparing you to other women, especially other women he has been with, it can cause a large rift in your relationship.
A lot of men do not realize they are doing it which is why you should communicate it with them, however, if it is something that becomes a habit I am not sure how long your relationship will last.
This is a sign that he is still into his ex and let me tell you that is a feeling I do not wish on anyone.
My advice: talk to him and if it still is something he does, leave his ass, you do not need that energy in your life.
6 Still Into Her: Keeps Her Things
Have you ever been walking around our boyfriend's place and noticed all the little things that were left behind by the ex? For example, he hairbrush, or little knick-knacks she made or even more personal items like clothing. This is normal, to a certain extent.
As women, we need to understand that men do not think like us when it comes to this kind of thing- most men do not even notice what was left behind. That is why we as their new ladies, need to tell them. Then after they are told, if they still feel the need to keep those items, then maybe that should be of concern to you.
There is no reason for a man to want to keep his ex-girlfriends hairbrush unless he is hoping she is going to come back one day, and that is the harsh reality.
5 Still Into Her: Loves Sharing Their Memories With You
I always found it weird when boyfriends took walks down memory lane with you, about other girls.
I don't know about you, but I personally do not want to know about the romantic European escape you and your ex-took three summers ago, I also do not want to know about all the cute things you did for her and that she did for you.
If you find your boyfriend constantly living in his memories with his ex, it could be a sign that he is yearning to go back to those days, when they were together and happy.
You need to explain to him that this hurts your feelings or makes you uncomfortable and if he truly cares he will consciously make an effort to stop!
4 He Prefers You: Shows You He Cares
When someone shows you their true colors believe them. Do not think that whatever he says and does for you was something he used to say and do for his ex.
If a man is showing you how much he cares for you, if he goes above and beyond to show you how much you mean to him, then consider yourself lucky.
We as women have bad habits of not believing men when they tell us things because we have been lied to before but trust me when it is a real and authentic love you will not doubt his feelings for a minute.
If he is telling you he loves you, then there is no reason to worry about anyone who came before you-you are his present and you are his future and that is what you need to keep telling yourself.
Look at the big picture and notice how his ex is nowhere near the life you will hopefully one day build with the man you love.
3 Still Into Her: He Hesitates When Choosing Between You And Her
Okay, let's put this into perspective.
If you are dating a guy and his ex comes back to him asking him for another chance and he either does not know what to do or wants to give her another chance this is the most evident sign you can get.
Picking her over you is an obvious one, however, if he is hesitating in any way, shape, or form then you should make the choice easy for him and walk away.
As a woman, you should never stand for being someones second choice or last option. You need to understand what you are worth and if the man who has your heart is not sure if he wants it then he definitely does not deserve it.
2 He Prefers You: Makes You His Priority
Are you your boyfriend's priority. Do you feel as though the relationship you share with him is one of the most important ones in his life? If so, then you are on the right path to having a long and incredible journey with the man you care about.
Finding a man that puts you on the top of his priority list is something every girl desires and if he is doing that it means that there is no room for exes anywhere.
If your boyfriend shows you with his actions how much you mean to him, you need to believe him. Do not let your personal insecurities become the root of your unhappiness. Take the good you are receiving because you deserve to be happy and sometimes in life things are not “too good to be true” they are just true.
1 Still Into Her: Always Defends Her
How annoying would it be if your boyfriend was always defending another girl? Imagine if that girl was his ex, it would be even more annoying! Some men are very apparent with their feelings without even realizing it and this is one of the signs we women need to pay more attention to.
Men are protective and defensive of the people they love most, so if you find your man always taking his ex's back this should be a red flag for you– do not just ignore it.
Relationships are about communication and if you can't have a conversation about his previous relationships without him going on the defense then maybe this is not the best person for you or maybe he has some issues to work out, either way, you should maybe re-think the relationship.