I was on Vine the other day, and I got to thinking about the “What are Thoooose” meme. If the Vibram FiveFingers were created back in 1999, they would be the butt of every Vine.
Remember those shoes? Back then, the company claimed their minimalist shoe “reduced foot injuries and strengthened foot muscles.” EVERYBODY jumped on the bandwagon, claiming they were the best thing ever. That was until a scientific study debunked their USP of improving running form by promoting a forefoot landing. In the media blitz that followed, Vibrams settled a class-action lawsuit for $3.75 million in 2014.
But that’s the thing with trends; they seem to appear out of nowhere, everyone jumps on the bandwagon for a bit and then they die out.
Some trends like fashion choices and social media challenges can make you question reality, e.g. the fire challenge, wearing socks and sandals, etc. We’re not here to judge you; if that’s your style, all the power to you. But if you’re only doing stuff because “everyone” is doing it… think about it.
Trends come and go; we’ve seen off over-sized tees and baggy jeans. Here are ten of the worst trends that we hope will die a quiet death sometime before 2016.
It’s for our own good.
10. Kipping Pull Ups in CrossFit
Few things polarize people like CrossFit; people either rave about it or absolutely loathe it. The workout program focuses on developing functional movement, strength, and agility. It combines weightlifting, plyometrics, handstands, sled pushing and cardio to achieve this.
However, certain aspects of the CrossFit culture are a tad sketchy. First off, anyone can become a CrossFit trainer. All they need do is to pay $1000 and complete a two-day weekend certification course and they can suddenly run gyms. Really?
In CrossFit, proper form and technique are sacrificed to complete the WOD in time. In their pursuit of aesthetics, CrossFitters are only good at one thing… CrossFit.
Take the CrossFit staple, the Kipping Pull up, an exercise that can “snap you in two”. In this version of the pull up, you flip and flop your body (like a fish out of water) to gain momentum and raise your chin over the bar.
Dear CrossFitters, since you are not actually pulling your weight but swinging, what the heck is the point? A kipping pull up is not a real pull up. Please stop trying to break yourself in two.
9. Fad Diets
These “flavor of the week” diets just need to stop. Years after the Dukan and South Beach Diets, people still “invent” and market unverified diets as gospel. Since 2014, two diets have become popular.
With the Bulletproof Diet, you consume healthy fat as 60% of your diet, meat as 20% and the rest in vegetables. A staple of the diet is Bulletproof coffee, a mug of coffee packed with 2 table spoons of grass-fed butter and MCT oil. This high-fat intake, no-exercise lifestyle is supposed to help the body “burn more fat”, but there is NO scientific evidence to back this claim.
Intermittent Fasting has been studied and found to boost brain cell growth, boost T-levels, improve quality of sleep, etc. But some people take things too far; they restrict caloric intake for up to 48 hours. Others binge when they come off the fast.
Folks, stop the fad diets; enlist the services of a qualified trainer to educate yourself on what to do to achieve your goals.
It’s become embarrassing how some men are portraying themselves on social media. In response to women calling for equal rights, men are asking for the same! They say they shouldn’t have to pay for dates or be judged for their physical attributes. Bro, nobody’s making you do those things.
The #Meninist Twitter hashtag was started as a few men sharing jokes, but it’s since become a movement to critique feminism though parody. The movement tries to mock “feminist double standards,” but all it’s doing is making men look terribly insecure.
Plus it makes it look like men don’t believe that women deserve equal rights.
So can we agree to end this in 2015?
7. Drop Crotch Pants
Male fashion has evolved steadily through the centuries, from high collars to heels (yup, men wore the first heels). But nothing prepared the world for the abomination that’s the drop crotch pant.
In 2012, with the popularity of meggings, some men felt uncomfortable with how snug the material sat around their privates. Fashion designers combined the meggings with a staple of most male wardrobes, the sweatpant; and voila, drop-crotch sweatpants were born.
That was two years ago. For a brief moment in time, the universe flipped on its head. It should have flipped back by now and this trend should have passed. We have only one question for those who still wear them; why would you want to walk around like you’ve got poop in your pants?
6. Skinny Jeans
Fellas, it was hard enough getting rid of the baggy, butt-hanging-out look (Pikeville, Tennessee even had to make sagging pants illegal), but we did it. But in the pursuit of sartorial excellence, some men have done a complete 180.
For most of us, slim jeans bridge the gap between denim that is cut close to the body but still offers some degree of freedom. But even that cut isn’t enough for some more “fashionable” men. Now, they wear impossibly tight jeans; pants so tight that you wonder where the family jewels go.
Skinny pants look OK on really slim men, but why would you want to look like you’re wearing your girlfriend’s skinny jeans? To cash in on this, fashion retailers now sell jeans labelled SPRAY-ON and super skinny!
Can we please agree to boycott these “jewel-crushing” unsafe items of clothing?
5. The Dad Bod
For a few terrifying months in 2015, the dad bod was actually a “thing.” Defined as a male body with undefined abs and quite a bit of flab, this was promoted as the new “cool”. Dad bod advocates plugged the benefits of zero to moderate exercise while consuming food and beer, and just seeing how things settled.
While this kind of lifestyle may suit a 50 year old dude with 4 kids and a mortgage, you know, an actual dad, many college kids jumped on the tend. The Internet dug up pictures of actors like Chris Pratt & Leo DiCaprio and celebrated their dad bods.
Women also seemed to co-sign this unhealthy movement, as they claimed to be attracted to guys with a little extra around the middle. They said it showed the guy was fun to be with and not obsessed with his physique.
This unhealthy trend needs to be squashed like, right now. Going from carrying a few extra pounds to not being able to see your own feet can happen faster than you think. How this caught on still baffles the crap out of us.
Picture Adam Sandler in his uniform of nondescript windbreaker, plaid shirt, scruffy jeans and beat up sneakers – that’s what this trend aimed to promote. If you didn’t hear of this, thank your stars, you dodged a bullet. While it was the most searched for fashion term in 2014, it just doesn’t make any sense.
The entire movement revolves around dressing like you don’t care about your appearance. Apparently, dressing up makes you “stand out”, and people think it’s better to fit in with the normal people. It was also a stand against the fickle world of fashion and its ever-changing trends.
The trend had people dipping into the bargain bin at the thrift store, just to look cool being uncool. Think retro New Balance sneakers, boxy jeans, turtlenecks etc. Normcore is another example of people mindlessly following trends; please, let’s leave it firmly in the 90s where it belongs.
3. Selfies and the Selfie Stick
Think about this for a minute; how self-absorbed do you have to be that taking a selfie is the FIRST thing you do when you visit… literally anywhere? In our opinion, selfies just seem to be the highest form of narcissism possible.
Smartphones have turned us into amateur photographers, but we don’t seem to know when to stop. We seem to take selfies at EVERY opportunity, then spend half an hour looking through the pictures for the perfect one to put on social media. Travel anywhere today, and you’ll find people wielding that “wand of narcissism” a.k.a the selfie stick. Thank goodness, many galleries, museums and sports arenas have banned its use.
This year alone, 24 people have died taking selfies; most deaths occur when people forget where they are when trying to take the perfect picture. People have fallen off mountains, out of boats and drowned, been attacked by animals, etc – all while posing for selfies.
Is it really worth it? We don’t think so.
This trend started with wearing plaid in a bid to dress like manly lumberjacks. Fanboys took the look further by having a mustache and bushy beard. The trend caught on among hipster-types keen to show their non-existent rugged side.
For a few months, seeing bearded hipsters everywhere wasn’t too bad. But people just don’t know when to stop! These days, everywhere you turn, you’ll find a man with a face full of fuzz. The “beard culture” seems to consider clean-shaven dudes less than men. Even feminists claim beards are “over-masculine and help foster a misogynistic culture of woman-haters.”
Wait, what? Face fuzz makes men hate women? We wouldn’t go that far, but this “hipsterjack” trend needs to be buried. ASAP. Now, men are so desperate to join the bearded ranks, that they’re willing to get facial hair transplants – basically surgery to help beards look thicker and less patchy.
C’mon guys, it’s not that serious! Real manliness isn’t about how shaggy your chin looks. Let’s stop the clowning.
1. Man Buns
Moving from the chin to the literal top of the head, 2015’s worst trend so far has been the man bun. Some say it started among A-list celebs, others claim its roots are among the bartenders of Brooklyn; like beards, they seem to be EVERYWHERE. With more celebs rocking the look and women saying they fancied a man with a bun, more men ditched their barbers in 2015 and let their hair grow out.
Now while Jared Leto and Orlando Bloom can afford the best hair care and make rocking a topknot look effortless, it’s not the same for the rest of us. Men soon found they were developing traction alopecia from the constant over-pulling and knotting. Over time, this can lead to hair follicles pulling out and permanent scarring.
Really? You’d risk going bald to rock a “cool” hairstyle? I didn’t think so. Whether you have a man bun or a puny topknot, don’t you think it’s time to #LetItGo?
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