When it comes to having a healthy sex life, there may be several factors that come into play. You need to hope that you are with someone that you find sexually attractive. If you don’t, you’re just wasting each other’s time and it will lead to an unsatisfying sexual relationship which can undermine both of your identities.
Sometimes when you are in the midst of a healthy sexual moment, the thoughts that come to your mind may not stay in there for very long before they are flushed out to make room for more pleasure-filled thoughts. If you are in the midst of a relationship that is not fulfilling, you may instead find that times of intimacy are where you do the most thinking about your day and other areas of your life. Unfortunately, that is not exactly the healthiest pattern to develop.
When you are being intimate, it can be critical to make sure that you are both feeling sexy and desired. If not, you may find yourself fumbling through any sexual encounter, unable to laugh at any of the awkward moments that are sure to follow any sexual escapade.
There may be someone in your past that has said something to you that shook you to the core (not in a good way) when you were being intimate. Hopefully, it was not something that is going to be present on this list.
Similarly, if you are reading this list and realizing that you are relating to it far more than you would have hoped, ask yourself if you are in a relationship where you feel loved as well as desired. Furthermore, ask yourself what you deserve in your relationship and if you have been putting in the active effort needed to get the results.
Ultimately, laugh and enjoy these 10 things that you really hope that your partner is not thinking during any sexual encounter!
10. “Can This Please Just Be Over Now?”
When you are lost in passion, time can sometimes not seem like a relevant factor in your life. One of the signs that your sex life may not exactly be lighting the world on fire is if one or both of you are counting down until the whole session ends. Thankfully, if you are wondering if it is over yet, it’s probably not destined to be a very long session to begin with. Nothing says “I want to be close with you” like “please remove your genitals from mine ASAP, thanks.” If you are begging for it to end before it even begins, please think of mixing up your routine.
9. “Aw Yeah, Alex…Wait My Boyfriend Is Derrick”
There may be no bigger buzzkill in the bedroom, than thinking about somebody else and then subsequently saying their name out loud. You can try and save the moment, but ultimately it will be a jarring moment that can really hurt your partner’s confidence and you may question their level of mental commitment. This may seem like a sitcom scenario, but it is a very real and difficult area to navigate for many relationships. You need to hope that when you are connecting with your partner, they are there with both their body as well as their mind.
8. “You Know What’s Sexy? My iPad”
There is nothing that you can do about certain areas of your day that may cause you stress. Yet when it comes to sexuality you need to hope that technology and your day’s problems can be set to the side. One area that should hopefully be within your control, is the type of sexual relationship that you are allowed to have with your partner. Sex should hopefully be a stress-free activity and one that fills both of you with confidence. Unfortunately, if you are dealing with a lot of stress in your everyday life you may find it start to negatively translate into the bedroom. This can cause an inability to stay aroused for the gentleman, as well as lead to an overall lack of enthusiasm towards the session on the role of both parties.
7. “Can They Please Learn A New Move?!”
Sex is supposed to be adventurous! It can be incredibly troubling if every time you go to make friends with her body parts, you do the same things to the point where the woman is groaning long before moaning. There is nothing wrong with having a few key moves to rely on, but you need to hope that you and your partner are able to have an open communication if you ever start to feel your routine is getting stale. Oh God, this again can quickly lead to an “Oh God, please not again” incredibly quickly if not properly rectified.
6. “Do They Think That Feels Good?”
I know you saw that super badass move in the latest Ron Jeremy film and now you are starting to think you are an absolute stud in the bedroom. Yet unfortunately, just like people in movies don’t really die, a lot of time in adult films the women don’t really finish. Sometimes trying to be extra adventurous in the bedroom can lead to some positions or attempts that lean more towards being painful than anything sexy. Pain can have a place in the bedroom, but it shouldn’t be unintentional pain! One of the biggest reasons why sex may hurt could be if there wasn’t enough time spent on foreplay and if you had a lover that would take their time, which leads to….
5. “Would Some Foreplay Kill You?”
There is nothing sexy about having a selfish lover, and if it continues you may find your most consistent lover is attached to you (…it’s your hand). Similarly, there is much less incentive to have enthusiasm in the bedroom and be adventurous if you know your partner is not going to put in any effort to help please you. You might love giving oral or foreplay, but you’re going to find the activity a lot less pleasant if you know your partner will never return the favor. If your partner is already in the mindset that you are a selfish lover, you need to hope that you can have open communication about why that is and both make active steps to end that problem in the future.
Now I totally understand that your bed may be the most comfortable spot in your house, and it may also be where the love making happens. That being said, nothing says that you are making the other person swoon like expecting to hear moans and instead hearing snores. Now granted this is far harder to accomplish during sex, in contrast to say, oral, but it is sure to be an absolute mood killer if it ever happens to you. There is something to be said about sex as a relaxing activity, and there can even be value in having it to try and unwind after a long day. That does not mean however that your version of foreplay is starting your REM cycle.
3. “Wait, That’s Not The Right Hole”
There is a sure fire way to get kicked out of any bed, and if you are lucky the bed is the only area that you are going to get kicked. Some ladies (or gentleman) don’t mind a little action around the backdoor, but there is absolutely nobody out there that would appreciate that act without any prior warning or preparation. Unexpectedly trying for the rear when it has not been communicated can be a clear sign of disrespect for your values and speaks incredibly poorly to your partner. Don’t have sexual relations with someone you are not comfortable with.
2. “Oh, That’s It?”
There may be no more deflating sentence for a guy to hear than being you if you are in yet, when you (at least in your mind) so clearly are. There is definitely some value in the notion that it is the motion of the ocean and not the size of the boat that matters. That being said, one of the biggest steps to being a great lover is to make sure you are confident in what you have at your disposal. At least in terms of a guy’s genitals, there is not a ton you can do about your size, so you may as well make the best of what you got!
1. “I Wish The Lights Were Off”
If you are attempting to have a relationship in which you do not find your partner sexually attractive, you may be destined for a bad time. Sexual compatibility is crucial to a long-lasting relationship and without it, any level of intimacy may feel more like a chore than something you do for fun. One of the biggest signs that you might not find your partner attractive is if every time you try and shake your booty, they make a beeline for the light switch. It may be a lot easier to think about someone else if there is nothing else to see, just make sure they don’t fall asleep.
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