If you pay any attention to popular music, you’re probably already very aware of the hit song “Royals” by Lorde. Although this song only came out in 2013, it’s already reached number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 and stayed there for 9 weeks. It even had over 4 million sales/shipments in the United States to earn 4x platinum status.
While Lorde has said that the song is partly inspired by actual royals, telling Rolling Stone “I’ve always been fascinated with aristocracy. I’m really interested in the Ivy Leagues, the final clubs, all the really old-money families, the concept of old money,” you’ll hear other inspirations as well. From the list of items mentioned in the song, it seems that “Royals” is also strongly inspired by the music industry and celebrity culture.
Have you ever wondered just how much the things in her song would cost to someone with that kind of money? Well, I did the research for you. Read on to find out how much gold teeth, Grey Goose, Maybachs, diamonds on your timepiece and more would cost for those with an unlimited bank account.
11. Grey Goose: $70 Per Bottle, $840 for a Dozen
This may seem like a great deal when compared to the rest of the items mentioned in Lorde’s “Royals.” After all, shelling out $70 for a special occasion doesn’t seems so bad. But that’s not what Lorde is singing about. She’s talking about the musicians who buy way more than one bottle in a single evening. Instead, they’re shelling out big bucks to provide liquid refreshments for their entourage and attractive guests. For a dozen bottles of Grey Goose vodka, you’ll be spending $840. And because you’re “royal,” you’ll likely be doing that the next night, and the next, and the next…
10. Trippin’ in the Bathroom: $2,000 Per Ounce
“…trippin’ in the bathroom”
Lorde could have meant a lot of things by “trippin’ in the bathroom,” but since cocaine seems to still be the drug of choice for most drug-friendly stars, that’s likely the best way “royals” would be trippin’. (No, we don’t condone this!) So, how much would a trip like this cost? Cocaine costs about $2,000 per ounce on average. And, if you’re sharing this with a bunch of friends, then it’ll cost even more. That’s one expensive trip to the bathroom!
9. Ball Gown: $5,000 and Up
When you’ve got the money, you go to the best stores and designers for your ball gown. After all, you’re worth it. Ball gown prices vary greatly, but you should be spending at least $5,000 if you want a fashionable gown classy enough to be called “royal.” The above Pamella Roland Strapless Floral-Hem Gown is $6,490 at Bergdorf Goodman. Of course, the price goes up even more when you add the purse, jewels and shoes…
8. Trashing a Hotel Room: $5,000 and Up
“…trashing a hotel room.”
There’s been a long tradition of hotel-trashing in the celebrity world. Famous people have been smashing glass tables and gouging drywall for decades. If you want to destroy a hotel room like a famous person, expect to pay $5,000 and more for the damages. The late Amy Winehouse caused $18,000 worth of damage to a German hotel before her death while Johnny Depp and then-girlfriend Kate Moss did nearly $10,000 worth of damage to a Manhattan hotel in 1994–just to name a few. Just remember that you’ll be seeing the damages on the bill once you check out.
7. Cristal Champagne: $200 – $17,625 per Bottle
“But everybody’s like Cristal…”
Cristal champagne. It’s the classic drink of choice for rappers and movie stars alike. If Lorde wanted to party like a rockstar, she’d shell out at least $200 per bottle. If she wanted to really impress her entourage, she’d get the Cristal Brut 1990 “Methuselah” bottle for $17,625. And, if she were to buy multiple bottles for all of her guests, like she did with the Gray Goose vodka, that bill would add up pretty quickly!
6. Gold Teeth/Grill: $36,000 and Up
“But every song’s like gold teeth…”
Since Lorde is talking about the music industry in “Royals,” she’s likely talking about the gold grills popular with rappers when she sings of “gold teeth.” According to SoJones, rapper Nas got his then-fiance Kelis a gold grill with diamond fronts for $36,000. Of course, trends change, and now most rappers are going platinum or all-diamond, like Lil’ Wayne and Birdman.
5. Wedding Ring: $62,900
“I’ve never seen a diamond in the flesh
I cut my teeth on wedding rings in the movies”
Tiffany & Co. is the go-to jewelry store for the rich and famous. How much is one of their wedding rings? If Lorde was a royal, she’d pay $57,000 for the Tiffany Legacy engagement ring with a 2.5 ct diamond gracing the middle of the ring. Don’t worry, it’s surrounded by many smaller diamonds to add a bit of extra sparkle. Add in the wedding band for $5,900 and she’ll be paying $62,900.
4. Diamond Watch: $75,000
“…diamonds on your timepiece.”
The rich and famous find any excuse to show off their affluence. Take the watch for example. No simple timepiece will do. As Lorde says, you need to have “diamonds on your timepiece.” Now you can tell the time in style and maybe flash a little bling every time you move your arm. We’re back to Tiffany’s for this one. The Tiffany Tonneau Cocktail Watch is encrusted with 566 diamond and features 18k white gold. This one will only set you back $75,000.
3. Cadillac: $86,050
“We don’t care, we’re driving Cadillacs in our dreams.”
Cadillacs are the ride of choice for the insanely wealthy. Rappers are often talking about their Escalades and Macklemore & Ryan Lewis even have a song, “White Walls,” all about a beloved Cadillac. But Lorde isn’t just singing about any Cadillac. For the royals she sings about, only the top of the line Cadillacs are enough. The 2014 Cadillac Escalade ESV with all the trimmings goes for a steep $86,050. Don’t forget to trick it out with some gold spinning rims.
2. Maybach Automobile: $550,000
Maybach automobiles had a resurgence in the late ’90s and ’00s. These luxury vehicles sure were popular with those sporting a disposable income and a need for speed. Unfortunately, production of Maybachs ceased in 2013. If you wanted to get an older model, you could always find a used version. A 2010 Maybach 62 Zeppelin Sedan with all the trimmings would cost you $547,850 at a dealer, according to Kelley Blue Book. Chump change for a royal!
1. Private Jet: $20 Million and Up
You’re rich and famous? Then you need your own private jet. After all, you can’t fly with the masses, even if you’re in first class. You’re too wealthy for that! Join celebrities like Celine Dion, Mark Zuckerberg and Donald Trump by getting your own private jet plane. Tom Cruise reportedly spent $20 million on his Gulfstream IV SP while Jim Carrey reportedly spent $59 million on his Gulfstream V. These things are priceless since you get to avoid communing with the masses on a traditional flight.
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