Women talk a really big game about men not knowing what’s what on their bodies, but men have the same complaints about women. There are things women still don’t know about men’s bodies, even if they’d like to think that they do. That’s in large part due to the fact that men aren’t really very forthcoming about this. I asked a group of men this exact question: if a woman asked what it was like to be a man, what would you tell them? The single answer I got is that it feels “normal.” While that wasn’t the most informative answer I could have hoped for, it did tell me a lot about men in general. However, men do have answers to this question, and I went out of my way to find them.
Just as much as women want to educate men about what’s what on their bodies, men want to do the same. Here are 16 things that men want us to know about their bodies, whether women really want to know or not.
16. Men have bigger bladders
Women everywhere have heard at least one guy tell us that we always, always have to use the bathroom. It’s irritating for women to have to hear it, but science actually tells us that even though men drink more fluids, women pee more, simply because our bladders are smaller. Researchers actually decided to look into that, and they found that men’s bladders are bigger than women’s bladders, so whenever guys want to complain that we’re making too many visits to the bathroom, we get to claim science as the reason. On the flip side, guys can now complain about our bathroom visits and use science as the reason, so maybe we shouldn’t push this one too much.
15. Some men actually need to manspread
I spent a long time trying to ask different guys I know about what it’s like to be a guy, and the only thing everyone could agree on was the manspreading debate. Every guy had something to say about the amount of space guys need when they sit down. While women might be annoyed at the extra space guys sometimes take up on public transportation, men were pretty adamant that it had nothing to do with being annoying or asserting their dominance, but everything to do with space, so they don’t sit down on something they don’t want to sit on.
14. Men don’t really get cellulite
Men actually don’t get cellulite! Women everywhere are probably pissed off reading that, especially the 85% of women who currently have cellulite, but men just aren’t built to have cellulite. While men are more muscular, women have more fat, less connective tissue and thinner skin, which means that fat is more visible, and that shows up as cellulite. It sucks to have it, but that’s just how it is.
That’s not to say that some men don’t get cellulite, it’s just very rare for them. Even though women don’t like their cellulite if they’ve got it, men sure do not mind.
13. Men’s brains only put half the effort in for listening
Women have always complained that men never listen to them, at least not as attentively as women listen to men. However, whenever women bring that up, men just say that they were listening, which just infuriates us. In actuality, men do listen to us, they just don’t use as much of their brains to do it. Researchers used fMRI machines to map out the brain, and while they found that women’s brains lit up as a whole when they were listening, only half of the men’s brain did.
The best advice I can give you? Keep things short and sweet, ladies. That’s the best way to get guys to listen.
12. The “helicopter” thing comes from somewhere
One of the biggest questions I’ve ever had for a guy is: why do some guys like to put themselves on display the way they do? There are some guys who really like to do crazy things with their genitalia, like twirl it like a helicopter, or draw them on any surface they can find. Guys didn’t really have an answer for this one, but nature does. Many animal species have certain traits that involve the male animals showing off for the females, and humans are no exception. Also, we never know if that helicopter thing might actually work at some point. For all we know, the next guy to do that might learn how to fly.
11. Testosterone makes men way more aggressive
Men are way more aggressive than women, not necessarily as a hard and fast rule, but it’s definitely a thing. Testosterone is the hormone that supplies that, and it’s really powerful stuff. Guys get two major bursts of the stuff during their lives. The first is during pregnancy, when they get a dose of testosterone, which is what actually makes guys express male characteristics. The second is during puberty, which allows boys to become men. Among other things, testosterone makes men really, really aggressive, and that informs a lot of their behavior. Also, men produce less oxytocin than women, except during climax, so if you’re trying to help a guy you like be less aggressive, that’s probably the way to do it.
10. Men don’t actually have a ton of testosterone
While testosterone is really powerful stuff, it turns out that in regards to the actual amount, men don’t actually have a lot of it. The average amount of testosterone in a healthy man under the age of 40 is 350 to 1,000 nanograms per deciliter of blood, which isn’t even enough to show as a tangible amount in a shot glass. That just goes to show how powerful the hormone actually is.
9. Excess booze is not a man’s friend
Sure, a little alcohol in moderation is good for lowering inhibitions, but too much will really ruin a guy’s good time. See, alcohol is a depressant, which means that it lowers the amount of testosterone you have in your body, and that means that the tiny, tiny amount of testosterone we talked about is now even lower. Too much alcohol is enough to throw off any guy’s game, which is why if a guy is planning to get any kind of laid, he should lay off the alcohol, or else he will find himself unable to deliver.
8. Men should be doing kegels too
Women have talked a lot about kegels, and while they’re really important for us, they’re also important for men. While men don’t need to worry about the same stuff women do, there’s still some major health benefits for kegels for men, like improving the muscles in your body that control urination. While women are more likely to leak in general, men still should watch out for that sort of thing. On top of that, kegels help men achieve better climaxing, which is good news for everyone. Men only get six seconds of that, while women get four times as much time, so they should make it count.
7. Men can slow the aging process
I know that sounds like some new age, science fiction stuff, but believe it or not, a good skincare regimen can do wonders for a guy. Women lose collagen faster than men around menopause, so our faces show aging faster than a guy’s. If a man takes care of his skin the way he’s supposed to, he can actually slow the aging process. However, guys don’t really do this for a variety of reasons, and shaving and sun damage can actually negate that advantage they have. Guys, take care of your skin. You’ll thank me later.
6. Myths about circumcision
Guys are kind of divided when it comes to the issue of circumcision. Some people think that it’s a good thing, while others think it’s an offense on the same level as female circumcision. That’s a debate that’s too complicated to get into here, but there are some interesting myths for male circumcision that people believe. For one, people think that circumcised males are less likely to contract HIV, and that’s a myth. Some people also believe that people who aren’t circumcised get more urinary tract infections, which is another myth. The best thing for both men and women to do is to do research on their own, because there are a lot more of these myths, and believing them can do a lot of damage.
5. Men can lactate under certain circumstances
This one’s kind of a weird one, but there are situations where a man is capable of lactating. The condition itself is called galactorrhea, and it’s actually pretty well documented. It can be caused by taking certain medications, behaviors, or by some underlying medical disorders. For men specifically, hormone imbalances, specifically of the hormone prolactin, can cause the disorder. A lot of the time, it’s benign, but generally, if you find yourself lactating for some reason that’s unknown to you, you should probably get yourself to a doctor.
4. Men can get yeast infections
Believe it or not, yeast infections are not just a woman’s problem. Men are more than capable of getting them, too. Men who are heavyset or sweat a lot are more likely to get yeast infections, and on occasion, men can get the same weird discharge that women do when they’ve got one. Fortunately for us all, anti-fungals are gender neutral, and medications like Monistat work just as well on a man as they do on a woman.
3. Men need you to be straightforward
One thing I’ve learned from men is that they’re really straightforward. There’s no beating around the bush with a lot of guys: what you see is exactly what you get. That’s important when you’re dealing with them, because more often than not, you’ve got to take a guy at his word, regardless of what you might think is between the lines. As much as they want us to keep things short and simple, they keep it short and simple right back to women, so they’re a lot less of a mystery than women are capable of being.
2. Men really don’t like to share this stuff
While I was gathering information for this piece, I found that most, if not all of the guys I spoke to, did not want to talk about any of this stuff. When I asked them if they could tell me something about what it’s like to be a guy, physically and/or mentally, they couldn’t actually tell me. One guy even said: “I can’t really say what it would be like to be a guy, because I am a man. For me, this is what I am, and there’s nothing really special or noteworthy about it.” That’s a big difference between men and women, because women are more than forthcoming about all of this stuff. I was actually really shocked, because while men can be quite straightforward about a lot of things, that didn’t really extend to the intrapersonal.
1. All men are different
Just like women, all men are different. Some men might be great at intrapersonal reflection, or have really small bladders. Still other men might not be all that aggressive at all, regardless of how much testosterone they have. Some men are comfortable talking about the intricacies of their bodies, and some very much are not comfortable with any of that. Some men might listen with their whole brains (if you manage to find yourself one of those, hang on and never let go), while some guys have the memory and listening ability of a goldfish. We’re all different, and just like women are different, men are more than capable of being different as well.
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