There are certain things that men, real men, should know how to do. These are things that as a true man, you should have picked up along the way. If you didn’t you should have tried harder, and if you did try harder and failed? Well, good try anyway, ma’am.
There is a lot of talk about what it means to be a real man these days. Is it how strong you are? How many women that you hook up with? Or do you go the other way with it, does being a man have to do with being sensitive? Well no. None of these things really matter when it comes to manhood. If you are a man, a real man, then you have picked up every single thing on this list along the way. And if you haven’t, well. It’s okay. I guess.
Now this isn’t meant to be an insult. If you can’t do some, or most of these things, it certainly does not make you a lesser person, but hey, sorry to let you know, it does make you a lesser man. It is not too late of course, it never is. Even if you are well into middle age you can still pick up any of these manly traits and skills. Because part of being a man is not giving up. That’s not on the list by the way. If you didn’t know that then we probably can’t help you. So saddle up and find out the 15 things that every real man knows how to do. Just don’t let us catch you practicing- real men don’t practice.
15. How To Jump A Car
It is amazing how many men do not know how to jump start a car. You many not know any of them, and if this is the case congratulations, it sounds like you may surround yourself with real men. Still though, men that do not know how to jump start a car are out there, and in much bigger numbers than you may think. If you do not know how to do this and you need a jump, then you are helpless, and a true man is never helpless. By the way, being into cars unto itself does not make you a real man, it isn’t that simple. This is another thing that doesn’t take a whole lot of research to know how to do. If you don’t know how and you are man, for God’s sake stop reading this article right now and google how to do so.
14. How To Hold A Baby
A real man knows how to hold a baby, and never shies away when he is asked to do so. This one may be a bit of a surprise to you, but being a real man is not all about being super-macho all the time, but it is also about taking care of those around you that are helpless. When you think of it, what is more helpless than a tiny baby? And you, as a man, are afraid to pick that baby up? Really? A true man knows how to hold and comfort a baby, whether it is his or not. And hey, as a real man, I am sure you do not have a hard time with the ladies (none of us do) but I can promise you one thing, being a man that is comfortable holding a baby is something that pretty much every woman thinks is totally hot. Do you want to be manly and hot? Then pick up that baby!
13. How To Flirt Without Being A Creep
A real man is not a creep and even when flirting does so in a manner that does not make a woman feel put off. It is surprising how many men do not get this, and for that fail the real man test. Flirting is obviously something that a real man knows how to do. But when a real man flirts he does so in a way that makes a woman feel attractive and wanted, not that she should break out her mace and rape whistle. Freaking women out and acting like they are pieces of meat is not what a real man does. When a real man approaches a woman and flirts he may not always get lucky, but he will always come off well. Use your sense of humor, make eye contact, and talk to her like she is a human being. If you can’t do those things you are not a real man.
12. How To Skip A Stone
A real man can skip a stone and can do so well. This one seems like it is not a big deal really, but oh it is. Skipping a stone is truly one of the most very manly things that someone can do. First of all, just even picking the right stone is quite manly, then once the stone is picked, if you can combine that with the effortless flip of the wrist that sends the stone skipping over the water, you are well on your way to claiming your man card. If this seems to be of little consequence to you when it comes to man knowledge than you are either a woman, or you can’t skip a stone. The world record for the number of skips is 88 by Kurt “Mountain Man” Steiner, and that should tell you pretty much all you need to know.
11. How To Shuffle Cards
Shuffling cards is another thing that does not seem to be a huge deal when it comes to manliness but, oh, how it is. You may not be a big card player, ( by the way not knowing how to play poker is also very unmanly) but even if you are not, for God’s sake you should know how to shuffle. If you are sitting at the table and the turn comes around to you and you say “Can someone else do this? I can’t shuffle” then honestly you might as well just put on a skirt. Only slightly better is if you try and shuffle and drop the cards all over the place. Seriously, shuffling is not that hard, it just takes a bit of practice- for crying out loud just take a few moments and learn how to do it. Because isn’t learning how to do things what men do?
10. How To Throw A Punch
Now, I am not suggesting that a real man is violent, likes beating people up, or starts fights. Far from it. A real man never runs around acting like an idiot and attacking people, and always tries and settles things with his wits. With that said, if you don’t know how to throw a decent punch then your man skills are totally lacking. At some point you may need to know how to do this; maybe you are being mugged on the way to your car, or maybe you need to knock out a bear with one punch on the side of a mountain. Or maybe you are one of those men who never ever have to throw a punch their entire lives. It does not really matter what the situation is, what does matter is that you have the right form and follow through to do some damage if you need to defend yourself.
9. How To Grocery Shop for Yourself
How old are you anyway? A real man should know how to shop for himself and do so somewhat regularly. It is fine I suppose if you are married or in a relationship and your girlfriend or wife is always doing the shopping for you, but if you are single you have to step up your game. Going up to the corner market for breakfast sandwiches, pizza slices and chicken baskets is somewhat fine if you are 22 and under and spend all of your money on beer and your World of Warcraft subscription, but at some point a real man actually does his own grocery shopping and makes his own meals. Because if you have not figured it out yet, a lot of being a real man is actually being a man, and not a boy.
8. How To Build A Campfire
While building a campfire is most important as far as being a man, some guys (I hesitate to call them men) are not even able to build a decent fire in a fire place. There are some fairly primitive skills that our ancestors needed to learn to do to survive. One of these, of course, is building a fire. It gets awfully cold at night and true men don’t, you know, freeze to death. Some guys can’t stay outside for even the smallest amount of time before their lack of manliness starts to show, they immediately need shelter. Other guys can’t even put up a basic tent, but the guy who can build a big roaring campfire and do so in a safe way is always a true man- and if you can’t even build a good fireplace fire? Just give up.
7. How To Drive A Stick
A real man can drive a stick. I used to have a job doing tree work. By the way, being able to cut down a tree safely? Super manly. But I digress. Most of our work trucks were automatic transmissions but there was one that was a manual transmission. There was a guy I worked with that couldn’t drive a stick. I probably don’t need to tell you how lame that was. My boss was always like, “Can one of you guys drive this truck? Because the unmanly guy can’t.” Well, he would not quite say that, but the implication was there. Of course it is hard to learn at first, but for God’s sake, just learn. I have said it before but true men learn how to do basic things, and in the world today, driving a stick is one of those things.
6. How To Make Small Talk With Strangers
A true man is as good with his words as he is with his hands. As a real man you are not alone all the time, you are out in the world doing things. And when you are out in the world, you are going to encounter people you do not know. This may be at a business meeting, at a bar, or even just in day to day conversations with people behind the counter at businesses. A real man can always make small talk with other men, or women, in any of these situations. This does not mean going on and on, saying idiotic things and making other people uncomfortable. It isn’t that real men talk a lot to strangers, only that they are able to do so well, and in a way that makes those around them comfortable.
5. How To Unhook A Bra With One Hand
Let’s face it, as a real man you are going to find yourself in the situation where you are becoming amorous (note: a real man has a decent vocabulary) with a woman. When that happens you are going to get to a point where it is time to make your move. At that point, when you want to take it farther and casually remove her bra, do you want to start sweating and grunting and acting like you are trying to figure out how to do a Rubik’s Cube? Or do you want to be able to unclasp her bra with one hand and be like James Bond? Yes, that was a hypothetical question, but what is not hypothetical is the fact that a real man can unhook a bra with one hand and do so in a way that is smooth as silk.
4. How To Iron A Dress Shirt
A real man can iron a dress shirt. So maybe you have a wife or a live-in girlfriend and maybe she irons your shirts. If that is so, more power to you and good on you. But that doesn’t mean you should not know how to do so. If you are a single guy, or even in a relationship, for God’s sake you should know how to iron a shirt. Nothing says ‘little boy” and not a man more than a guy that shows up to work or goes to a wedding in a rumply, un-ironed shirt. Now this does not mean that you need to iron all your stuff, in all honesty, real men don’t worry a whole lot about that. But when the situation arises you need to know how to iron your own dress shirts. No, it isn’t fun, but no one said that being a man was going to be fun all the time.
3. How To Change A Tire
This one should be a no-brainer. You can have everything else on this list on lock, but if you don’t know how to change a tire, or you are uncomfortable doing so then you are not a real man. Again, this does not mean you have to do it yourself. You had a blow out, you are on the side of the road and you want to call AAA to change your tire, by all means, go ahead. But as in most of these things it is about knowing how to do so and self-reliance. If you and your lady are cruising down some deserted road in an area with no cell phone reception and your tire blows and you consider yourself a real man, then you know how to change that tire. There really is no negotiation around that. A real man can change a tire.
2. How To Tie A Tie
A true man can put on his own tie and do it well. This is not to say that you need to have a job where you have to wear a tie. Far from it. A real man does what he wants, it does not matter if you are a furniture mover or you work on Wall Street. What does matter is that you can tie your own tie. Situations occur for just about every man in our society where a tie is needed; it could be a wedding or a funeral, or a variety of other things. When those things come up, do you want to be a man, or do you want to be an 11-year old-boy, with someone helping you tie it over your shoulder? Again, like so many other things on this list, it really is not that hard to learn how to do. So be a man and learn how to tie your own tie, and do it well.
1. How To Shake Hands
At the very top of every list of how one is a real man, or at least near it, is knowing how to shake hands. One may think that every man can shake hands . Sadly this is not the case. In fact, some men don’t even know when to shake hands. Some men try to crush your hand, as some bizarre sign of dominance. Even worse are the men that give you the “dead fish” handshake, where there is no grip at all. If you are either of the above people, then you totally fail the real man test. A handshake should be firm, but without so much pressure that it seems you are trying to break bones. Just like most of the things on this list that show who a real man truly is, it is hard to define, but a real man, as well as the rest of society, knows it when they see it.
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