Okay, so you’re going out with this girl for the first time and you really want to impress her. You clean yourself up, get reservations to a great restaurant – you’ve gotten all the particulars out of the way. Now it’s all on you to make conversation and just be yourself.
…Except it can be hard to deny that sometimes guys are insecure creatures of habit. This is why online click-bait dating-related sites get the kind of traffic they do. Guys, and ladies, see titles that promise them the “10 best dating tips you’ve never heard of” or “how to make her moan in 8 crazy ways” and they click, falling right into the trap. These would be great resources – if the advice they had to dispense wasn’t usually horrible from start to finish. The Internet is a vast place filled with horrible advice, and you’ve probably fallen for it. Hell, some of these little wisdom-filled gems have been around before the dawn of the computer. Point blank? If you’ve heard any of these 15 tidbits of dating advice, never actually take them to heart.
16 Follow Your Heart
This one sounds good in theory, and should be taken seriously in small doses. When you follow your heart in a relationship, you generally are letting your emotions move you through your decisions. This means picking who your heart wants, going at a pace your heart wants. You get the picture.
15 Make the First Move
Dating advice articles seem to think we’re still in the 1950s. You have to court your high school sweetheart for a year, have dates at the malt shoppe and only kiss when it’s dark and you’re in your dad's car at Kissing Cove. It’s the 21st century – let go of your old school ideals for once.
14 You Need to Date a Lot to Be Successful
It’s true that you get better at dating with experience, but who says you have to rack up notches in your belt in order to be good at it? Many men think that dating around a lot is the best way to have fun dating and the experience they’ll gain will benefit them. The truth is that if you’re dating a lot, you probably aren’t learning any lessons.
12 It Looks Bad to Date a Lot of Women
Between this and the last bad piece of advice, consider this lesson to learn – dating isn’t a numbers game. Don’t think of dating in such a complicated way. If there’s a way to date too many women and too few women, what’s the exact number of women you need to date to be desirable?
11 You Need to Try Hard
When you’re single, do your friends ever go into overdrive to try to find you a date? There’s this idea that if you aren’t constantly actively looking for a mate, you’ll never find one. In reality, sometimes the most perfect of matches can be found naturally and without trying hard at all.
10 Calling/Texting Too Soon Looks Desperate
Everyone has fallen victim to this scenario and romantic comedies and sitcoms the world over have lampooned this dating idea. After your first date or when you first exchange contact info, there’s supposedly an unspoken rule that says you have to wait a while before contacting each other. The reason behind this limitation is you don’t want to look too desperate.
9 Lower Your Standards
This is another one that should be taken seriously in moderation. Instead of focusing on finding the perfect girl, you should lower your standards…and just date anybody! Your friends and those online articles don’t actually mean they want you to actually consider your unrealistic expectations, consider why you have them and adjust accordingly. It’s really just code word for “date who I think you should date.”
8 Don't Be too Available
This advice is supposed to help you look like you aren’t waiting next to the phone for her call. When people tell you “don’t be too available,” what they’re really telling you is “make her wait.” When you make her wait, you look more elusive – which is a common theme of this bad advice list.
7 You Need to Put Yourself Out There
This is another big winner. As wrong as it is unhelpful, the whole “you aren’t getting out there” enough is both tired and annoying to hear. You know you’ve been single and looking for a date and all your friends have to tell you is “I don’t know man; I don’t think you’re putting yourself out there enough.”
6 She's Out of Your League
Ever heard one of your friends tell you that one before? You see a smoking hot woman and your buddy sees you looking. That’s his first response to your interest and it’s something you nod at, returning to your drink to sigh alone.
5 Women Love Mind Games
For some reason there are pockets of men out there that think women are just gluttons for punishment that will be more willing to accept a relationship or sex if there’s manipulation involved. That sounds extreme, but it’s the only way to explain this kind of logic.
4 Cheating's Fine if You Aren't Serious
You’ve only been seeing this girl for a couple weeks and you never said you WEREN’T monogamous…seeing another girl wouldn’t hurt her since it’s only been a little while since you started dating. Right?
3 Women Always Go for the Bad Boy
For some reason, men assume that women want a man in a ripped leather jacket with a cigarette behind his ear and maybe a rap sheet as long as their legs are. This is yet another example of how men literally don’t understand what a woman wants.
Maybe this is a disconnect between fantasy and reality. Ladies may fantasize about spending the night with a motorcycle-riding rebel, but that’s not who actually winds up with them between the sheets. This trope has been overplayed in recent years, so don’t fall for it. Instead, just be yourself. A woman is more likely to date someone who’s not about to be arrested than the opposite scenario.
2 Women Like a Man Who's Downright Mean
The aforementioned piece of bad dating advice sometimes stops at the stereotypical image of a Greaser or gang-banger. Sometimes, however, the advice gets a little more real. Some sites and other men will tell you that women like to be verbally roughed up once in a while.
1 Play Hard to Get
Playing “hard to get” is perhaps the most dated of all of these examples – which is probably why it’s considered the worst. When you play hard to get, you make yourself unavailable to a girl, keeping just out of her reach. This little gimmick is supposed to make you more mysterious and unattainable; two traits men assume women look for in mates. Too bad it’s utterly false.
Some women will fall for this ploy, but most women know that guys that play this little trick are a dime a dozen. If you’re interested, just say so. You’ll never make a connection if you keep being so elusive.
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