Certain celebrities have looked the same for like the past 10 years. With a SWAT team of dietitians, stylists, colorists, personal trainers, makeup artists, and other professionals, these people remain effortlessly flawless throughout the years.
Isn’t that great for them? But how uninteresting. Everyone loves a chink in the ole’ armour. Enter these 12 unpredictable waistlines.
Some call it yo-yoing. Some call it fluctuating. Some call it plain old lack of self-discipline. Whatever you choose to call it, the fact of the matter is that some celebrities can’t seem to stick to one silhouette. Sometimes, they climb out of their limos looking slim ‘n’ sexy and sometimes they hoist themselves out looking inflated like a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon. With these 12 celebrities, your guess is as good as any (and just imagine their poor dietitians, stress-balding and binge-purging to cope with the pressure of having to keep these people trim.)
Trying to work with these celebrities must be like playing a really difficult video that erases half your progress every time you turn it off. Although presumably you’d be getting paid a lot of money to keep your frustration on mute, it’d still be enough to make you want to jump out the window.
12 Oprah Winfrey
In 2006, Oprah weighed 160 pounds. In 2008, she had gone up to 200 pounds, which she said was due to a thyroid condition. She continued to steadily gain weight until shedding 25 pounds in 10 weeks in 2012. Talk about yo-yoing: the Queen of Daytime Talk’s weight is always unpredictable.
Granted, she isn’t in the business of being thin – she was never hired to be a sex symbol and one’s weight has no bearing on his or her business acumen – but perhaps she should consider making “Consistency” one of her “Favorite Things,” and the tug of war with the scale could stop.
11 Rob Kardashian
Traditionally, celebrities with weight fluctuations are thought of as women. But men, too, can slip in and out of suit sizes. A prime example of this is solitary Kardashian male Rob, who we still cannot understand why is not named Kyle or Karl or Kansas or something.
Although Rob has been on a steady upwards trend, having put 100 pounds on his previously athletic (although always rather dad-bodyish) frame, he has adjusted backwards and forwards some.
In 2013, he said that he had gained 30 or 40 pounds during the previous season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, especially due to his then-romance with Rita Ora, but then lost a lot for his Arthur George by Rob Kardashian sock line debut at Neiman Marcus.
Unfortunately, the graft didn’t take, and Rob was photographed recently looking more out-of-breath than ever.
10 Janet Jackson
Although she was the little sister of King of Pop Michael Jackson, Janet Jackson was hardly in her brother’s shadow. She, too, became a pop titan in her own right. But she’s also infamous for yo-yo dieting, constantly losing weight only to put it back on. In 2006, she was estimated at 180 pounds, which is very heavy for her 5’4” frame. But now, after having gone on Nutrisystem, Janet is back to being thin and fit.
She admits that she’s an emotional eater, but that she has now gotten her compulsion under control and gone back to a flattering dress size. And it’s a good thing, because with dancing talent like hers, it would be a shame for her tool to have rusted.
9 Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson was a size 4 in June 2005, a size 12 in April 2007, a size 6 in July 2007 and a size 12 in 2009. In 2011, she joined Weight Watchers and lost fifty pounds, then became pregnant with her second child and put all the weight back on. Recently, she has been dieting with the company to help bring her weight back down.
Jessica Simpson’s physique changes more than arguably any other celebrity’s in Hollywood. It’s impossible to know how she will look on the red carpet. Although now she tends to be pleasantly plump pretty consistently, operating within those boundaries, back when her career was red-hot, she could be Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover or Jenny Craig spokeswoman from one week to the next.
8 Mariah Carey
Once a super slim sex vixen, Mariah Carey started her career as a knockout. But, as she got older, she started putting on weight. Things were exacerbated when she got pregnant with her twins Moroccan and Monroe. She told UsWeekly that she gained an enormous amount of weight during her pregnancy and ever felt trapped in her tubby body.
With Jenny Craig, one of many weight loss companies, Carey was able to lose 30 pounds recently, dropping back down to relatively slim, but she’s still far from the toned and tiny body she paraded around in the music video for “Honey.”
7 Kevin Federline
When Kevin Federline first emerged into popular conscience, he was rail thin, as one must be in order to be Justin Timberlake’s backup dancer. But fame made the wife-beater wearing Californian fat. In 2006, after his split with Britney Spears, he claims having the blues made him listless, and being listless plus his advancing age made him fat. He put on more than thirty pounds.
But in recent years, Kevin Federline has lost a lot of weight and plans to keep going. Although halfway through his thirties, it’s too late to resume his career as a sexy backup dancer, he can still salvage his sex appeal and perhaps start macking on a future has-been.
6 Britney Spears
Britney Spears once had one of the most famously toned tummies in all of Hollywood. For a while back in the “Oops… I Did It Again” days, it looked like she was never going to wear a full shirt ever again. But she did, once she started putting on weight.
Everyone remembers her 2007 VMA fiasco, when instead of the taut body she once had, she looked like a “fat pig” (her words, not ours.) But then, in the “Womanizer” video released a year later, she had slimmed back down considerably, enough to appear completely in the buff (a bold move for anyone, even those with the sexiest of bodies.)
But Britney could not maintain that figure; she started putting the weight back on. Here again is another instance of stars whose appetite or lethargy gets the best of them. (God bless ‘em, they’re just like us.)
5 Star Jones
In 2003, the talk show host, halfway through her forties, was over three hundred pounds. As she admitted in a first-person essay in Glamour magazine, she felt lonely from the weight gain and ate to feel comforted.
After the surgery, she slimmed down considerably, going from obese to not even chubby but skinny-mini. But now, years after her gastric bypass surgery (stomach stapling), Star Jones has put back on a lot of weight. Spotted back in 2012 in a tight blue dress, it looks like the jawline she had unearthed had been engulfed anew.
Reports say that she put on weight because she missed her boyfriend. Regardless, she looked gleeful in the pictures, and at the end of the day, isn’t that all that counts?
4 Jonah Hill
In 2011, Jonah Hill lost a bunch of weight to appear alongside the ever-hunky Brad Pitt in Moneyball. Unfortunately for the funny man, he had a hard time remaining at his new size and soon grew back to previous proportions. He was spotted in 2014 looking rotund as ever.
Even worse for poor Jonah Hill is that he has not only gone back to his original size, but has actually put on more weight since 2014. He was most recently seen, in April of 2015, on the set of his new movie Arms and the Dudes looking enormous in an oversized blue Hawaiian shirt. Hopefully for Hill, the weight gain is just for the part and he’s only that fat from an unsustainable diet of junk food and melted ice cream.
3 Christina Aguilera
When Christina Aguilera started her career, some people said she was too thin. And they weren’t wrong; in the “Genie in a Bottle” video she’s slim as a knife. But as her career took off, so did her weight.
It wasn’t long before the “Dirrty” girl started putting on weight. But she lost it all for her role in Burlesque, a movie about a young girl from Iowa who seeks fame in L.A. In January of 2010, she was reported to be “rail thin.” But, once again, she started packing on the pounds, or, as TMZ says, “porked up.”
As the great Aretha Franklin taught us, your body don’t matter when your voice is that good, but just for peace of mind, Aguilera should try to stick with one silhouette.
2 Kirstie Alley
Kirstie Alley, best known for her role on Cheers, was once one of TV’s biggest sex symbols. With both girl-next-door beauty and exotic charm, it was hard to look away from her. But as Alley got older, she entered into a very public battle of the bulge. One that, according to her, is over. In January of 2015, she went on The Today Show and announced that her days of yo-yo dieting are over. “This time, it’s different,” she said. And she had the 50-pounds-lighter body to prove it.
Given her history of perpetual fluctuation, it’s hard to believe without any doubt that this time, it’ll stick. But Alley, photographed smiling and walking with pride, seems to believe in herself and perhaps that’s all that matters.
1 Kelly Clarkson
In 2003, Kelly Clarkson released “Miss Independent,” and in the video she looked slim and fit. Cut to 2007, after a bunch of other hit singles, when Miss Independent started becoming Miss Overweight.
In 2012, she managed to lose 30 pounds and return to a more svelte figure. But unfortunately for the American Idol songbird, she put on weight after becoming pregnant with her son. Now, in 2015, Kelly Clarkson is basically obese, having appeared on Ellen! to discuss people fat-shaming her. No judgment here, Kelly. We’re merely documenting.