Let’s be real for a second. Everyone on Earth wants to be rich. To say otherwise is a bold-faced lie. Granted, you do get those people who try to spout off some cliche as if to undermine the very fact that they KNOW they will never be rich – “Money is the root of all evil” – but we all know only people who don’t have any money say stupid stuff like that.
People who have money are like “WOOHOO, WE HAVE MONEY!” And with that money they get to buy fantastic things that the rest of us can only daydream about while middling about our tedious lives. Deep down inside, we know we wont be using jet packs and driving cars with sexy Italian names (no, Fiat doesn’t count, sorry.) But it is often said we should all dream big, so feel free to dream about owning the following ten extremely badass items. Just quietly accept in your heart that it may never happen and that’s okay.
You probably won’t ever get to bed your favorite starlet either, but it doesn’t mean your mind can’t allow you to go there now and again. Here are ten awesome things you didn’t know you needed until now, but will sadly never be able to afford.
10. Standalone Garage
So the good news is you have a sports car that is a banger. The thing is just sexy as hell, but there is a problem. You have no access to a garage and you sure don’t want this beauty being left to the elements. So what do you do?
You buy a standalone garage known as the “Gazebox” that you can put over your car anywhere. It ends up kinda looking like a greenhouse from the future and can keep your car safe from the elements wherever you lay your head at night. Oh, and it also turns into a gazebo when there are no cars around. The simple fact that even the website does not list a price should tell you just how costly it probably is.
9. DeLorean Limousine
So wait, this is the same car from Back to the Future, only it’s a limousine? Though this sounds like something some nerd would make up on a thread somewhere to get other nerds drooling, this exists.
The problem is, it belongs to one man (who just happened to have a DeLorean collection) and the likelihood of it ever being recreated is hovering at about 0% right now. Still, though, what person would NOT want to cruise through downtown in this beast?
8. Hover Scooter
In essence, this is more Back to the Future tech here for us to marvel over, only this one is real. The levitating hover scooter looks like something out of a science fiction novel from the ’50s. While it cannot be said you will look cool on this, you will look rich as hell and no one will know what it is, which will be intriguing to most.
It is like a giant Frisbee you ride by holding onto a handle. It looks equal parts fun and terrifying, but at $13,000, we all know very few of us will be ridin’ dirty on one of these bad boys anytime soon.
7. Knight’s Armor
Who wouldn’t want to go to a party dressed head to toe as a knight? Well, maybe a lot of people, but still. Having a working suit of armor in your home must be a pretty badass feeling. You never know when orcs are going to plan a home invasion, so it is always best to be prepared.
The problem is, when being prepared costs you upwards of 13 hundred, you realize you will probably just have to use an old school baseball bat if someone breaks in. It kinda sucks the Game of Thrones feeling right out of it.
6. Stealth Electric Bike
Admit it, you have always wanted to pay ten thousand dollars for a bicycle that looks like it was made out of Batman (you read that right). Well, if that is the case, you just hit gold. The Stealth Electric Bike is a bike that can do anything, go anywhere, fight crime, and get you laid. How it does these things no one has any idea, but if you look at the website, they seem to imply this bike could save an orphanage full of children effortlessly.
Bonus points are awarded to the bike because it looks like it could transform into an assassin while you are sleeping and continue to fight crime in your absence. That is money well spent!
5. The Hydro Powered Jetovator
For just $7000, you too can look like a doofus who has no idea what they are doing as they rise up out of the water and splash down into it like a wrecking ball. One can assume a few weeks of use with this thing would get one rather acclimated, at which point, this thing is probably just about the most fun a mortal human can have for under ten thousand dollars.
But again, that much money for what amounts to a toy? It’s fairly certain not too many of us have that casually lying around.
4. Custom Built Storybook Tree House
Who wouldn’t want some dream-like tree house built in one of the trees in their backyard? The best part is, these are built to order, so you can have your tree house the exact way you want it. Make it look like a gingerbread house. Make it look Victorian. It is all up to you.
Well, you, the builders, and the 40 thousand you are gonna plunk down to make this dream into a reality. Good luck with that.
3. T-Rex Skeleton Tricycle
Okay, okay, so you may not NEED this (or any of it for that matter…), but come on? What kind of person wouldn’t want a tricycle that looked like it was made out of the bones of a T-Rex? The possibilities are endless. Chasing stray cats. Growling at taxis. Scaring your neighbor’s kids who suck and always throw their balls in your yard.
Really, there is so much potential with this thing, you would literally never run out of things to do with it. The problem is the initial $2000 to buy the thing.
2. King of Rock Jukebox
It doesn’t matter who you are or what walk of life you are from. If people walk into your house and see a sex, old style jukebox, you just became the coolest person those people know. On top of that, this is a working jukebox you can load up with all your favorite tunes.
From its almost tacky pearlescent coloring to the neon tubes, it would be like having Vegas in your own living room. The best (but really the worst) part? All that swagger will only set you back ten thousand clams.
1. Star Trek Apartment
Okay, this could be called somewhat “nerdy”, but hell, so could a hoverboard and a tree house, so it might be a little late to be passing judgement at this point. Regardless of how “virgin” this screams, there is also something inherently sleek and super badass about it. The fact is, you wouldn’t even have to name drop Star Trek. You could just tell people who came over you had a pad from the future.
Jaws would still drop, as the place is badass beyond all badassery. We all know the vast majority of us cannot afford to live there, so let’s just dream for now. Thankfully, dreaming is still free.
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