What men want versus what women want can be very different, and when you throw sex into the conversation there is often a total breakdown of communication. Here is a look from the men’s side and what they wish women did more often during sex.
Open dialogue is the key. What men and women may find is that they both want (or are okay with) the same thing. Make suggestions and offer change. No one likes a complainer so tact is important when making suggestions (notice, did not use the word “demands”) and remember great sex promotes overall physical and emotional health between couples.
What didn’t make the list? Begging just missed out. Guys don’t want to have to always beg for sex. Having to always ask for sex makes men feel less desired and worse, they may just stop asking. Men appreciate when women initiate sex at least sometimes and when it’s the guy initiating they don’t want to be rejected each time – it comes across as begging.
Ready? We’ve got noise makers, hand jobs and of course, some adult cinema. Ladies, no man is expecting you to adopt all of these items, but if you did just one, you will have a happy guy on your hands. Men are simple that way. Here’s your list of ten things men wish women did more often during sex.
10. Make Noise
Praise is good. Moaning is great. Screaming is the best. Believe it or not, men want feedback during sex and not in the form of notes. There are essentially no limits here as long as it’s noise. Soft sounds to let us know you are enjoying it or vicious screams of joy that could be mistaken for something much worse – either one is much better than silence. Men want to know you are enjoying this too (or at least pretending to). If men didn’t want sound they would just go off and masturbate. Having sex is a two-person event and they want to know you are there as well.
9. Say Yes, Yes, Yes To Fantasies
Men may be afraid to share their fantasies because women will laugh at them or worse, make them feel small for suggesting so. However, there is nothing better than adding a little surprise to the foreplay. Keep it simple to start and be sure both are participating; remember it’s a fantasy not just dress up. The bad French maid is a good start or the plumber checking on leaky pipes, just remember to start small and work your way up to the advanced Empire Strikes Back scenes. Also, if the man comes up with a fantasy, don’t try to change it, just go with it. Unless his fantasy is being Patrick Bateman and you are a whore who doesn’t appreciate Huey Lewis. Then run, run fast! Otherwise, say yes to fantasies and have fun with it.
8. More Porn Please
So guys and girls definitely see it differently, but a lot of it is in the eye of the beholder. For men, it isn’t usually addictive and does not replace women. Unfortunately a lot of women feel threatened by adult entertainment, but shouldn’t. Most men would welcome their women to join them while watching. Couples that watch together typically have great communication and instead of a supplement, becomes a compliment to your sex life. Obviously both need to be honest and set barriers of what type is acceptable, but I believe most people can compromise when it comes to this – pizza toppings and watching porn, two easiest items to reach conclusions on.
7. Talking Dirty
Words can be sexy and a huge turn on for men. Talking dirty doesn’t have to be nasty (although that can be stimulating as well), but also praising or instructive. Women understand the importance of compliments; however, what many fail to realize is that this applies to men as well. Next time you want to turn on your man, whisper something about how he looks, what you want to do to him or the size of the bulge in his pants. You will see a direct reaction to your words. Talking dirty is best when initiated by women, so go for it – praise, compliment or talk nasty, regardless you are going to make your man feel indestructible.
6. How About a Threesome?
Anyone? Anyone? Okay, this isn’t a deal breaker and isn’t probably what you think. All men don’t necessarily want a threesome, but having the ability to talk about it or something that is different helps keep open communication. Adding something “new” can spice up the bedroom play. You don’t have to like the idea of a threesome, but don’t dismiss it with a “no”, instead see what other requests are out there. There are endless ways to mix it up, threesome is just one way. What’s most important is that women will listen to the requests. Men want to hear your requests as well, especially if it’s a threesome!
5. Change is Good
Specifically, positional change is good. Men (and women) can get bored. New positions and switching positions during sex is great for a number of reasons. It’s fun to change things up and try something new, if you are always missionary, then go doggy style and if both of those are already in your bag of tricks then try something new like reverse cow girl. It’s a good thing to try new things, especially together. You are forming an optimum bond between the two of you, and for men it’s usually a good thing to liven up the sex as much as possible. Of course if you should also be up front with your man about what you are not comfortable with. Who knows, maybe he’ll find something previously out of play is actually in play. Bonus: Switching positions also make sex last longer – that’s a double bonus!
4. The Dance of Seduction
Men appreciate the journey; it’s not always just about the end gratification. Romance and sex should be linked tight, but there is a fine line between tease and seduction. Essentially, if the end game is sex it’s seduction, if not it’s probably a tease. To recap: Seduction is good, teasing is not. How do you accomplish this for your man? Lingerie and a lap dance or letting him watch while you use sex toys definitely fit the bill. Depending on your man it could be coming up with a game, where the right move or answer is rewarded. There is also the whole S&M route that men enjoy, go all out with leather, whips and handcuffs, just remember the most important part, the safe word.
3. The Quickie
It’s true that sometimes men just want to ravish their women. For women, allowing “a quickie” once in a while allows a man to enjoy sex in a raw and primal way. Contrary to what many think, this isn’t about dominating a woman, it’s about appreciating her body and is not to be taken in a negative way. Women can enhance this simply by allowing it. Opening the door with “I’ve got 5 minutes” gives men the green light to take you right then. Quickies are good for any sexual relationship, but they also free up time. Yes, we all have full Netflix queues to watch. Bonus: Giving your man a quickie will you give you more “me” time.
2. Lending a Hand
Women often think oral sex is what men always want, but that’s not true. For men, often times a simple hand job is the best job in the world. A lot of men may not admit this, but they all want it and (most) will not deny the act. The great thing about hand jobs is that they can be done in more places than sex and often lead to men reciprocating the deed. Giving your man a hand job can be a more intimate act than having sex, you are literally giving him a hand and emotionally that goes a long way.
1. Use Your Mouth
What do men really want from women during sex? Two words: oral sex. Let’s be clear, this isn’t about power, but pleasure. Going down on your man doesn’t have to be foreplay, taking a break during intercourse is welcome as well. The bonus with oral sex is the act can be performed in more places than traditional sex and is perfect for those long drives. No need to stress about technique, your man will appreciate the effort. Plus, remember that practice makes perfect! Other benefits include less of a mess and if you are with the right man there’s a good chance he will return the favor.
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