Trends come and go throughout the years; some leave a lasting impression that seem to translate and continue on into the next year, while others exit the year in a fiery blaze. Why? Perhaps it’s because people come to their senses, realizing the errors of their ways.
A more pertinent question is why something becomes a trend in the first place? It’s hard to imagine trends taking shape in a a media-less world. Or rather social media-less. With social media sites like Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and Snap Chat, a simple idea – whether it’s a catchphrase or the start of clothing line – can evolve into a trend within minutes.
But it takes more than just social media sites. To push a trend onto the proverbial map, you need a face. The more recognizable that face, the better. Now that’s not to say you need a celebrity to start a trend. But it just so happens that many of today’s trends have either been created by famous or wealthy people, or at the very least promoted by celebrities.
This year saw many different trends – from the phrase “bae”, man buns, and Kylie Jenner lips, to more sinister things like Donald Trump. Some of the most ridiculous trends of 2015 will likely scar us for life and leave us hoping and praying that they all become a thing of the past.
Ah, the man bun. I have never seen so many gentlemen walking around with delicate little buns atop their heads in my entire life. Yes, I will admit that when I saw Jake Gyllenhaal prancing around in Nightcrawler with a hair tie around his wrist, casually throwing his hair up into a bun, I may or may not have swooned. But not everyone is Jake Gyllenhaal and that is just a sad fact. There is a difference between a sweaty man throwing his luscious waves up into a bun and a hipster carefully growing his hair for the sole intention of putting it into a bun. There is a time and a place and the ideal man that should be rocking one of these bad boys and, nine times out of 10, that man lives and works at the beach. Guys, please leave the buns to the professionals.
8. Kylie Jenner Lip Challenge
This year just gave me a headache. With the amount of junk that the younger generation was getting into, it didn’t even surprise me to see little girls completely destroying their faces in order to look like Kylie Jenner. The trend of massive lips was only accelerated by Kylie’s very own constant-growing lips and, as impressionable teens will do, many girls began sticking their lips into shot glasses and sucking all of the air out to puff up their pouts. I can’t imagine that any of these girls expected their mouths to damn near explode but, then again, it wouldn’t shock me if that was the risk that they were willing to take to look like their “idol”. Leave the lip trend in 2015, for the sake of future generations to come.
7. The Ovipositor Sex Toy
Once Vice decided to run an article about the Ovipositor dildo that’s produced by Primal Hardware, the internet literally almost crashed. People were in a tizzy to find out what the hell this thing was – myself included. I should say that I am not one to judge someone else based on their sexual fetishes. I actually encourage people to express their fetishes in a healthy way. But this… this is something out of a horror movie. (And I think that’s actually the point.) The Ovipositor is an inspired depiction of an alien penis that deposits eggs inside of the user. The eggs are essentially a jelly-like substance once they melt. People genuinely get off being impregnated by an alien penis. That’s almost all that there is to say about this trend. Leave it in 2015 or leave it in your bedroom, folks.
6. Kanye West’s Clothing Line
The above photo is not Kanye West standing with models depicting conditions within a concentration camp; it is not a photo of Kanye West standing with extras on the set of The Walking Dead; that photo, my friends, is Kanye West standing with an array of models during New York Fashion Week, all wearing pieces from his “Yeezy” collection. Not one single piece of clothing is reasonably-priced and not one single piece of clothing looks as though it wasn’t previously worn by a homeless person.
This is what Kanye thinks is innovative, and the masses are now victims of his self-appointed “genius” as these chewed up garments are now available for purchase in stores. My hopes for the remainder of 2015? That I’ll finally start a savings account, and that Kanye’s clothing line proves to be a complete failure in the real world retail market and wind up on a 70% off rack, or worse, for sale in a Marshall’s somewhere in the Mid West.
5. Taylor Swift Constantly Showing Off Her Famous Friends
I think it’s a safe assumption that famous people have famous friends, right? I mean, I’m a common nobody and all of my friends are also common nobodies… people tend to swim in the same pools as their social class. George Clooney and Brad Pitt are a set of friends that make sense. George Clooney and myself? Not so much. So, the general idea is that famous people have famous friends. Taylor Swift may be the only pop star in the history of the universe to feel the need to incorporate her famous friends into anything and everything that she does publicly. I’m getting sick of seeing her and her gaggle of famous friends everywhere I look, and I know I’m not the only one. Even my mother is sick of Taylor Swift and most mothers love Taylor Swift. Time to let your famous friends live their lives without your insatiable desire to seem like one of the “cool girls”… You knit, bake, and actively promote your cat-lady tendencies. Leave it at that.
4. Selfie Sticks
When I hear stories of people getting thrown off of airplanes for refusing to put their selfie sticks down, I laugh. When I hear stories of people using their selfie sticks at the 9/11 Memorial in New York, I fight the urge to vomit. Selfie sticks are the bane of existence in this world. If your arm isn’t long enough to take a photo, don’t take a photo. You look like a complete moron walking around with a selfie stick and, what’s more, many of these people are actually getting into trouble because of the device. I say we take all of the selfie sticks and burn them for heat on New Year’s Eve.
3. Latte Art
Something that I witnessed in real life during the year 2015: Girl orders latte solely to take a photo of the “latte art” for Instagram and then throws the latte away. It was like watching in slow motion as someone slapped my grandmother. I was offended, I was appalled, and I wanted to intervene and save the latte. I’m a firm believer in that caffeine makes people generally better – easier to deal with, more competent, and less likely to fall asleep directly on my shoulder when I’m on an airplane. I’m sick of latte art. Your “barista” (I cringed while typing that) may be a master at crafting your latte foam into quirky little designs, and that’s great. They’re probably enrolled in art school and it’s an alternate way for them to perfect their craft. But when people are only ordering lattes to take a photo and then throw it out, it becomes a social epidemic. Leave the entire situation in 2015 so that no more coffee is wasted.
2. Instagram Promotions
The Kardashians/Jenners, Lindsay Lohan, Ashley Benson, Vanessa Hudgens, Amber Rose – the list goes on and on. All of these people have one thing in common: they all promote brands on Instagram. Brands like Fit Tea, Nip & Fab, Cocowhite, and any brand that has ever made a waist trainer will pay celebrities to promote their products. The celebrities, despite having all of the money in the world, take on the promotions for a few extra bucks and clog up my Instagram feed with nothing but crappy promotional posts with “#ad” slapped right onto it. I can honestly say that I doubt any of the Kardashians are using “portable teeth whiteners” – they’re likely going to an overpriced Beverly Hills dental office to pay for their teeth whitening. None of you are fooling me.
1. Donald Trump: The Biggest Fool in America
I don’t want to travel out of the country this year because I would be ashamed to say that I’m from America. It’s not because of our massive unemployment rate, the suffocating amount of student debt loans, or our ever-crumbling economy… it’s because of that orange man in the photo above. Donald Trump has given Americans even more reason to be disgusted with our country. I understand that it’s the right of any American to choose to run for President if they meet all of the criteria… but, really? If a celebrity was going to run for office, I would’ve much rather it have been Oprah or Bryan Cranston. I can’t wait for him to fade into oblivion.
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