10 Reasons Not To Date That Girl From The Bar

Being single is not easy, and the most desperate hour is here.

You suffered through Christmas—and being alone really sucked. There was the office party, which required a guest, and everyone else brought their mate. You showed up empty handed, flirted awkwardly with coworkers, did too many shots and wound up passing out during your Uber ride home. Then the family got together, and the grandparents, aunts and uncles kept prodding, asking questions, and wondering why such an eligible young man was still single. You wanted to be proud and happy, but instead became frustrated and depressed, which led to even more drinking. You woke up hung over, feeling worse than before, and praying that the holidays would just end already.

Then New Years came, with the midnight countdown, the big apple drop, more booze and anticipation. If you had a girlfriend that night, the midnight kiss chemistry could have sent your relationship rocketing upward, sending you into a blissful future with a house, a dog, even kids down the road - who knows? But you had nobody, and considered making out with your hand, because anything would have been better than watching everybody kiss their sweeties when the clock struck twelve.

And now it’s 2016, and there are only a few weeks left until the most dreaded of all… Valentine’s Day. You’ve already suffered enough, yet here comes the mother of all romantic pressures, the pride-killer, third strike, confidence-squashing final blow. You can’t be single anymore. You just can’t let that happen!

So like any red-blooded young man, you start searching high and low for a girl that might be able to tolerate you, but you fail and fail, and are forced to settle for the lowest of lows.

The bar girl.

We totally understand your plight, but surviving alone or retrying another option may actually be the better path. Here are 10 reasons why you should never date that girl from the bar.

10 Disease

9 Gold Digger

If you came into the bar high-rolling, with your designer shirt, shades, and most expensive shoes, she definitely noticed. And that’s probably the only thing she likes about you. Sure, she’s hot, but she’ll play you like a fiddle - a gold digger.

8 Drunk

7 Odd

6 Behind with the Times

5 Overly Nice


4 Age

3 Baggage

So everything is going along splendidly, but the fact is, this is a bar girl, and you still know practically nothing about her. Then she invites you to her place, gets you in bed, takes your clothes off, and you’re about to consummate your relationship when suddenly... a baby cries.

2 Married

1 Murder

Are you absolutely positive that you have explored every option? You redid your dating profile, joined a church group, sifted through your Facebook friends, and even asked mom to sift through hers? Is this really the only place left to find someone? Have you ever heard of Ted Bundy? No, not Al Bundy, that’s the dad from Married With Children. Ted Bundy was the vilest of serial killers who brutally murdered at least 30 women, and one poor girl was last seen at a tavern. If you meet a psychopath, you probably won’t realize it until it’s too late. So pay close attention, and if you sense a warning flag, please run.



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10 Reasons Not To Date That Girl From The Bar