When you go online to Amazon and place an order for a pair of bed sheets, a set of saucepans or even a Nikon camera you always get an email in a day or so confirming that your item has been despatched.
Someone, somewhere, has packed your item and either put it in the mail or entrusted it to the charge of a courier service if it is a larger article.
In due course, your item arrives at your home and, barring accidental damage, that is usually that.
However, in a world that is not usually inhabited by mere mortals, orders are placed for items that no right thinking manufacturer or supplier would dream of “popping in the mail” or entrusting to a courier and keeping his fingers crossed that it arrived at its destination intact.
No, these things, that are sometimes described as “big boy’s toys”, are far too valuable for that. These are things that require the services of a security guard riding shotgun and accompanying the item from supplier to customer every inch of the way.
So, what sort of items are so valuable that they require a security guard to look after them? The first, and perhaps most obvious one, is:
Yes, good old-fashioned money. With the expansion of credit and debit cards over the last twenty years, you could be forgiven for thinking that money is, indeed, going out of fashion. However, there is still a lot of it about and, despite rumors of the “cashless” society it appears that it is not going to disappear any time soon.
Of course, since it has value – especially when transported in large quantities – it follows that criminals will take great pleasure in helping themselves to it whenever the opportunity arises. Therefore it needs a security guard to look after it – and often this is an armed guard using an armored vehicle.
Despite appearances to the contrary, armored vehicles are not designed to stay and fight the criminals attempting robbery, but rather to get out of the situation as fast as possible and without damage to the crew or contents. The job of the security guard in this case is to get to a place of safety, leaving the police to fulfil their function of chasing criminals.
Pretty much everything that has been said about money also applies to gold. You can order 1 kilo gold bars online for a mere $40,744.08 each if you buy up to three, or if you order more you can get a discount and they will only cost you $40,641.08.
Seems like a good deal to me. I’ll take two dozen, please.
Just as long as you send them accompanied by a security guard.
8 Mobile Phone
Come on! A mobile phone accompanied by a security guard? You have to be kidding.
No, the world’s most expensive mobile phone (so far) is the Diamond Crypto. The case is made from solid platinum 950 and down each side are 25 half carat white diamonds with five blue diamonds. How much? Yours for just $1,130,585. Oh, and 6 cents at today’s exchange rate.
Whether it has all of the functions of a Samsung Galaxy S3 is another matter entirely, but at least when you have this in your hand you are going to stand out from the crowd.
And it comes with a security guard attached.
7 Bugatti Veyron
The Bugatti Veyron is the fastest and most expensive sports car in the world. It accelerates from 0 – 200 mph in just 14 seconds and has a top speed of 250 mph. The rear spoiler actually raises so that it can be used as an air brake, and at 250 mph you may well need one.
When you have parted with $1,323,372 it will be delivered to your door by a security guard. Well, not quite. Bugatti are not going to let a security guard loose on a 250 mph sports car, so he will just be riding in the passenger seat while the man from the factory does the actual driving.
6 Diamond Rings
Something for the ladies. Why not a lovely diamond ring from Cartier? Their platinum emerald cut diamond ring has a recommended retail price of $236,900. But, Shh! I know a place where you can get it for $138,875. An absolute snip at that price. It’s delivered by a security guard who will simply keep it in his pocket until he hands it over and you sign for it.
You wouldn’t think that you’d need a security guard to deliver a bra, yet with this one you do. It costs an eye-watering $7,863,930. Inspired by Victoria’s Secret Angels collection, the Fantasy Bra is indeed just that. A fantasy.
Yet it is a solid enough piece of kit made of 2,900 pave-set white diamonds weighing in at a total of 112 carats. In the center, joining the two cups, is a dazzling flawless diamond of 70 carats.
Somehow, you can’t help feeling that it will be cold and uncomfortable to put on, and in any case who is going to know you are wearing it? Even if you should happen to be a film star you can hardly flaunt it at the next premiere you attend.
This piece from the Lebanese-founded House of Mouawad is not actually the most expensive one they have ever made. In 2003 they made one which cost $17,972,000.
Now you can see why you need a security guard to deliver this, even though he can probably fold it up and put it in his jacket pocket.
There are some exceedingly expensive watches available on the market, and others which are exceedingly expensive but not for sale.
For $4,600,000 you can buy a Louis Moinet Meteoris watch which features a rare meteorite and depicts the solar system.
Yet it is by no means the most expensive. In 1933 Patek Philippe made a gold pocket watch for banker Henry Graves Jr. which took five years to build and has a total of 24 functions. When it last changed hands the price was $11,000,000.
Even then, there is another watch which beats this price. The Chopard 201-carat watch has a total of 874 diamonds in white, blue, pink and yellow and is almost unrecognizable as a watch. It was sold in 2000 for no less than $25,000,000.
Of course, it was delivered very carefully by a security guard.
If you want to buy the lady in your life something really grand, why not consider a diamond tiara from the House of Chaumet in Paris?
They have a dozen to choose from including the Josephine tiara in platinum set with brilliant-cut white diamonds and featuring a huge central pear-cut sapphire. Absolutely breath-taking.
How much? They won’t say, commenting wryly that a tiara like that simply puts a girl’s head in the clouds.
But it comes with a security guard.
2 Private Jet
From Learjet comes the Bombardier Global 8000. This little beauty seats 19 passengers and has a maximum range of 7,900 nautical miles which is probably as far as you would want to go in an afternoon. It’s the equivalent of New York to London and back with nearly a couple of thousand miles to spare.
It reaches a maximum speed of 594 mph and cruises at 517 mph at a height of up to 51,000 feet.
It has a bar, crew rest area, galley, toilet, phone system, state room and optional shower.
Prices start at $65,000,000 and go up from there depending on what extras you want.
When they deliver this to your local private airfield (which, incidentally, needs to have a runway of over a mile in order for it to take off) it comes with not one, but two security guards.
1 Your Very Own Private Yacht
Possibly the ultimate present ever given to a lady by her husband is the Vava II which is the largest motor yacht ever built in Britain at 314 feet long (96 meters) and cost $165,000,000.
The Vava II was a present from pharmaceutical billionaire Ernesto Bertarelli to his wife, former Miss UK 1988 Kirsty Roper.
The super-yacht features a fold down beach club, a variable depth swimming pool to cater for guests preferences, luxury guest bedrooms, a helipad and four boats to take passengers to the shore. It costs over $400,000 just to fill the fuel tanks.
While not the most expensive yacht ever built (that honor, apparently, goes to one costing $475,000,000 for an Arab prince) it is probably the most expensive Christmas present ever.
When the Vava II was delivered it did not come with a security guard; it came, as you might expect, with a security team.
Next time you log on to Amazon to order a pair of bath towels which will turn up in a couple of days, spare a thought for those poor souls who have to wait for their goods until a security guard is available.