So tonight’s the night. You and your girlfriend haven’t gotten it on for a while now and you aren’t going to wait any longer. She seems to be in the same mood, so it is go time- it’s time to get it on.
But when it is time to go at it, neither one of you really seems to be in the mood. What happened? Is your relationship in trouble? Or, maybe, it was just something that you ate.
People don’t usually think about their diets before they get ready to make love, they usually just eat what they eat and expect the body to respond. Well, we are here to tell you that there are certain things that you can eat that can ruin your mood or hamper your performance. You have heard of aphrodisiacs before, I am sure. They are things that increase your sex drive. Well, there are certain foods that are the exact opposite of that.
What are they? Well, you’d best find out; you don’t want to be eating them yourself, or even worse having your girlfriend eat them before you guys go at it. It is hard enough at times to get it on, you don’t want your diet to ruin it.
Here are 15 foods you shouldn’t eat before having sex.
This one is tough as a lot of guys, and women too, want to have a mint before they go at it because they want to make sure they have good breath, and they pop a mint beforehand to make sure they have that covered. But be careful. The menthol in peppermint is known to decrease testosterone levels, and we have covered what that means before in this article. It is best to stay away from peppermint, and use something else to make sure you have the breath of a player.
14. Tonic Water
Most people don’t have a lot of tonic water lying around, although if you are a gin or vodka tonic kind of guy like I am, you probably have it all the time. It is best to avoid before a night of romance, however, as it contains quinine, which is known to decrease sexual function, which is rather ironic because drinking a whole bunch of gin or vodka will do the same thing. Switching to soda water would be a safer bet if you are thinking about romance down the road.
13. Black Licorice
I know, I know, you probably don’t eat a whole lot of this stuff, but hey this is a list about what not to eat before having sex, so get educated! Licorice has been linked with low testosterone levels, and the higher testosterone levels you have, the more likely you are to want to have sex. So, as odd as it may seem, lay off this stuff if you are thinking of doing the deed later on. Last I checked it wasn’t a member of the four food groups anyway so you should be okay.
Cheese makes one feel congested and bloated, which are not usually the ways one wants to feel before having sex. While most guys don’t eat a lot of cheese, a ton of women do, so while this might be easy for you, it might not be for your partner. You may have some explaining to do after you rush across the room and knock her cheese plate to the ground, but it will be worth it. Well, maybe not. Maybe don’t take my advice on this one.
This one is the no-brainer of the bunch. Nothing, and I mean nothing, kills the mood more than you and your girlfriend sitting on the couch next to each other while both of you are passing gas. In all reality, neither I, nor anyone else, should have to tell you that you should stay away from beans if you are thinking about romance later on in the evening. In fact, if I do have to tell you that, then you probably are not likely to get many opportunities to do the deed in the first place.
This one is a little confusing, because while dark chocolate is good, all other kinds of chocolate are bad. Unless you have been buying your girlfriend a box of chocolates that is filled with only dark chocolate, this might explain why you never get lucky on Valentine’s Day, or the week after it for that matter. In fact, if your girlfriend is eating Snickers bars all the time it might explain why you never get lucky. Bottom line, choose your candy wisely.
9. Hot Dogs
I know this must be a big disappointment, both to you and your girlfriend. But “Hey baby as soon as we finish these hot dogs let’s go to the bedroom for some romance” is something that has probably never been said by anyone ever. Hot dogs have a very high saturated fat content and are going to make you and your partner feel sluggish and have low energy. So as much as it may be tempting, leave those hot dogs alone right before you do the deed.
8. French Fries
Wait a minute! First hot dogs and now french fries? Looks like you are not going to get lucky after your night at the county fair, or at the Red Sox game either. French Fries are overly processed and hit your system fast, which means you feel good at first, but then don’t later on. Not only that, but they could be cooked in low quality oil if you have them out, so you may even get indigestion later on. Best to just try and get lucky on nights you don’t have french fries. It is sad, but true.
7. Red Meat
This one depends on the individual as to how they react. Some of us get energized and feel more “animalistic” after eating red meat. We call those people “normal”. Others don’t have as good a digestive function which means the red meat might sit heavily in their stomach and make them lethargic. We call those people “wimps”. It doesn’t matter anyway though, really, because any real American man would rather have a good steak than do the deed anyway.
At the opposite end of the spectrum of the red meat eaters come the tofu eaters. Tofu is basically bean curd and is used in many Asian meals and also is a staple of vegetarian diets. This is another one that takes down testosterone levels, so if you are hoping to get lucky with your lady, tell her that you guys might want to save dinner at that hip vegetarian restaurant for another night. Or maybe if you are lucky you can convince her never to go.
5. Canned Food
This food is processed and is meant for the long haul and not to give you any sort of boost in energy. To put it simply: this food is not good for you. If you were stuck in your basement in the middle of some sort of Zombie apocalypse then sure, go to town on the canned food. If you are trying to fuel your body for the rest of the evening, which may include some private time in the bedroom, then stay as far away from this kind of food as is humanly possible.
4. Red Wine
This is a tricky one. In moderation red wine is a nice thing to have. Most women think of it as romantic that you are drinking wine with them, and it also can lower a person’s inhibitions which makes one more likely to do the deed. But with that said, if you go over that line just a little bit you will feel tired and instead of going to the bedroom you and your girlfriend will wind up on the couch watching reruns of Buffy the Vampire Slayer all night.
This is not the typical food one would think of finding on this list. Oatmeal is typically something that one eats in the morning at a time when it is probably least likely for a person to do the deed. So with that said it isn’t the type of thing that most people need to be warned about in this context. Still, though, it is high in fiber and can produce gas, so it is best to steer clear of oatmeal if you are thinking of going on the prowl.
Broccoli? Who would have thought it? Once again we come to a food that no one would think would be bad for their sex drive, and once again it is on the list because of the potential for gas. It appears that quite possibly a man, or a woman, having gas could be the single biggest reason for the lack of doing the deed in our times. If you really like broccoli go ahead, I suppose, as long as you don’t combine it with beans and oatmeal.
1. Energy Drinks
Is there anything in the world that has a name that is more misleading than “energy drinks?” While one might think that you could drink a couple of these and be raring to go in the bedroom, the total opposite is true. These things are filled with sugar and artificial flavors. While you might get an initial rush it will be short lived and you and your partner will find yourselves in bed, but will be fast asleep, instead of doing the deed like you had hoped.
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