Most people love desserts. To put it in simple words, the whole point of the final course is to make things as delicious as possible. However, while desserts are typically used as a reward in most cases, there are certain catastrophes out there that are best served as cruel punishments!
To most people in the west, desserts are all about cookies, cakes, ice cream and a whole lot of other sweet-tooth favorites. This in no way means that different approaches to how desserts are prepared are kept off the table worldwide. There are certain desserts served in different parts of the world that I would personally describe as part of a menu from hell, considering how badly they have been spoiled by the people concocting them. Here’s a list of a few desserts from around the world that can never fit into our preconceived notion of what a dessert should be, irrespective of how delicious they might be:
15 Vinegar Pie
Yes, I know the first thought on your mind right now is, “oh, this pie must have just a small splash of vinegar or something.” BIG FAT NO. It is literally a custard pie that is flavored with vinegar. Why on Earth anyone would invent such a concoction is clearly beyond me. To be honest, on all the lists of “things that you should never use to flavor a pie” around the world, vinegar seriously has to rank really high!
14 Kitty Litter Cake
Are you interested in preparing a cake for a cat lover who has a good, yet equally sick sense of humor? Or do you simply just want to gross the f**k out of the guests that you so desperately hate attending to? Well, this kitty litter cake is just what you need to be able to do so – and trust me, it will gross out anyone you serve it to!
13 Rotten Cheese Platters
I personally think people only choose cheese platters as dessert when they try to act all high and mighty and “oh I’m too good for cake” – you aren’t, and if anything, you’re just ruining dessert for the rest of us. And you know what’s worse? When they continue to deliberately choose between cheeses that are not only NOT dessert-like but totally gross as well.
Pancakes should be labeled as a form of hybrid meals. Why is that so? Well for the simple fact that they are a dessert hidden under the “breakfast food” guise, deliciously served together with jam, golden syrup, cream, Nutella and at times even fruit to give it a more “healthy” appeal. I mean honestly, how much more deceptive can a meal get?
11 Lamprey Pie
Lamprey pie is on the menu on Game of Thrones, which actually says a lot about how disgusting this particular dessert must be – that’s because this is all that the show has excelled at over time. For those who don’t know, the lamprey pie is prepared using a baked eel-like fish and is set in cool syrup before being covered with a large raised crust. Fish in a cool syrup, I believe that goes a long way in explaining just how “eew” this dessert really is!
10 Ambrosia Salad
If anything, trifles happen to be the best dessert ever known to mankind even though this may be because of the alcohol content. But no matter the case, why would anyone want to mess up so badly with it? Especially to the point that it becomes nothing but disgusting.
9 Fruit Pizza
Don’t you get completely ticked off when you throw in a red sock into the wash with your whites and everything turns out pink and completely ruined to the core? Makes you want to pull your hair out doesn’t it? So what made anyone think that creating a food equivalent is a good idea is clearly beyond me! Seriously, who wants to eat all that pile of colored mush?
8 Lobster Ice Cream
How can anyone want to have seafood in their ice cream? For f***’s sake, are these people in their right mind? In Maine, the lobster capital of America, and Massachusetts, it is fairly normal for people to order up a scoop of lobster ice cream – yes, ice cream that is lobster flavored. For the record, this disaster of a dessert actually consists of real Maine lobster that is cooked, picked, buttered and folded into a buttery vanilla ice cream. How disgusting!
7 Stewed Fruit
Hot fruit? Who the hell on earth wants to eat or serve hot fruit? To me, this particular dessert is nothing but a pile of mush that is prepared when you just don’t have the strength to go the extra mile for a proper dessert!
6 Red Bean Cake
A delicacy in Asia, this disaster makes extensive (or excessive?) use of red beans in the form of paste that is frozen, sprinkled with sesame and cut out into small squares. However, there are other variations of this dessert as well that involves mixing mashed red beans with gelatin which is later cooled and cut out into small squares for serving purposes.
5 Lardy Cake
Also known as lardy Johns, lardy bread, fourses cake and dough cake, this cake is actually a traditional rich spiced form of bread that is prepared in several southern counties of England. The cake is a popular weekend tea cake in places in Berkshire, Sussex,Wiltshire, Dorset and Hampshire.
4 Green Dysentery
Served at Taiwan’s vomit-inducing Modern Toilet restaurant, green dysentery is basically a shaved-ice dessert that is bound to make you throw up. If truth be told, just about every food item served at this restaurant is YUCK considering that it is delivered in toilet-shaped bowls.
3 Sussex Pond Pudding
A traditional English pudding, the Sussex pond pudding originated in the South East county of Sussex. This particular pudding is prepared using a suet pastry that cases a whole lemon together with butter and sugar. The entire pastry is boiled or steamed for a few hours. Over the years, this extremely heavy and rich pudding had lost its appeal, but the British chef Heston Blumenthal revived it.
2 Fungus Toe Cookies
Believe it or not, there’s an entire genre of food that is prepared in the form of human body parts. If anything, this particular genre of food is definitely going to give you a bit of thing for previously innocuous limbs and appendages. Not only does it look appalling, there is no way on Earth that anything of this sort is going to come within inches of my mouth!
1 Spotted Dick
Gosh, just the name of this particular British pudding is enough to make one want to puke. Spotted dick – who the hell on Earth would want to think of spots on a dick while having dessert? Just the thought of it is just yucky!
Now for those who don’t know, spotted dick happens to be a British pudding that is prepared using suet and dried fruit. In most cases, the British prefer serving it with a dollop of custard. They make it using a flat sheet of suet pastry that has dried fruit sprinkled over it. Once done, the suet pastry is rolled up into a circular pudding. So why was it given this particular name? Well, I don’t know about the dick part, but I do know that the dried fruit gives it a ‘spotty’ appearance. Perhaps the use of the word ‘dick’ is because the suet pastry is rolled in the Swiss or American Jellyroll style – I honestly can’t think of any other explanations!
Sources: Allrecipes.com, Pickle.nine.com.au, Obsev.com, WhatscookingAmerica.net, Buzzfeed.com, Foxnews.com, BBC.co.uk, Content.time.com
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