Drizzy is the complete package, a gregarious celebrity talent who is redefining the genre of rap. Drake acts as artist, host, rapper, singer, actor, and, as proven by his Hotline Bling video, dancer and internet sensation. But not everyone is happy. Many rappers and fans hate the guy, and have been questioning his authenticity for years. Charlamagne has called Drake, “A corny dude,” asked him, “Why you thuggin?” and compared Drake’s entourage to a flash dance mob at an H&M. Chris Brown has called Drizzy a, “corny singing rapper,” among other numerous expletives. More big names like Ludacris, Common and Jay Z have called Drake soft, and Diddy even punched him.
But does the whole street-cred thing really matter anymore? Or are good lyrics and a nice melody all we really need? Gone are the days of Tupac and Biggie; rap is now a multi billion dollar industry with changing standards and expectations. Hip-hop music has saturated affluent suburbs, and ushered in a new generation.
Aubrey Drake Graham was raised upper-middle class, played hockey, and attended a private school outside of Toronto. Drake admits his early life was, “the furthest thing from hood.” He’s made no attempt to hide the corny things he’s done in the past, so why should we?
10. The TV History
Everybody knows about the DeGrassi High role by now, right? Drake’s big break was acting in 145 episodes of this corny serial TV drama. Drizzy played Jimmy Brooks, a basketball hero that ends up in a wheelchair. But this is no Saved by the Bell bubblegum fiction – Jimmy Brooks got shot at school by another student. So see, haters, Drake is no stranger to violence after all. Ok, that was a joke, just like Drake’s acting skills. DeGrassi can be pretty gritty at times, but sorry, Drake’s scenes are lacking a bit of pizzazz. He has a Grammy, but no Oscars in sight.
9. Wowing Dat Booty
Speaking of terrible acting, have you seen Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” video? Of course you have. Everybody watched that scantily clad vixen shaking her big booty in her tropical hot tub wonderland. Overall it’s a very entertaining video until the corny part at the end when Drake shows up. For several seconds, Drizzy sits on a chair and receives a spotlighted lap dance from the well-endowed starlet. Then he does his over-acted, hands over his open mouth, “Oh my God” reaction that is terribly contrived. Come on dude, you are rich, famous, and have seen about a million fully nude strippers. Was Nikki’s really the best lap dance ever? Really? Aren’t you a little more desensitized to the nightlife by now?
Going from strippers to other nocturnal chicks… Why is Drizzy so obsessed over owls? Drake literally means male duck, not great horned owl. Yet the album cover of Take Care features a sleepy Drizzy sitting at a table, alongside a baseball sized golden owl. His own Hotline Bling featured black owl t-shirts are selling like hotcakes on Amazon right now in 100% cotton, with five size options, and also available as a hoody. That’s not the only place to buy owl shwag. The nocturnal hunters are selling very well at Claire’s Boutique. Buy the corny birds on a fluorescent backpack, a Christmas stocking, or on pink plastic earrings. But Drake seems to think the birds are still cool.
7. Art Hypocrite
For a guy who seems to know so much about art, it’s a wonder those owls ever appealed to him. In Feb. 2014, Drizzy told Rolling Stone, “I think the whole rap/art world thing is getting kind of corny.” But now the rapper seems to have changed his tune, telling W magazine, in Oct 2015, “The art at Sotheby’s moved me like a song would.” Now which is it? Seems like art and specifically fashion have become the new norm for rappers. Kanye is the next Armani… maybe according to Kanye. Diddy has maintained a label for years, as have many others, including Drake. Oh yes, Drizzy’s Octobers Very Own offers his complete aforementioned owl line. But Drake had it right the first time: too corny. Blame Eazy-E for starting rap fashion with that damn White Sox hat.
6. Sports Flip Flopper
Speaking of baseball, Drake did a hilarious job of hosting the 2014 ESPY’s, and his team loyalties are just as… funny. True sports fans know, constantly changing your favorite team is an awful habit that’s beyond corny. Well, check this out: Drake roots for the Raptors, but then he parties with the Heat. He gets a championship ring from Kentucky, takes photos with Villanova, and then wears a Texas A&M jersey. He claimed the Blue Jays and then the Indians, then the Jays again. After dating Serena Williams and watching her lose the US Open, Twitter users buzzed about the possibility of a Drake curse. And then Drizzy jumped back on the Blue Jays bandwagon just in time for them to lose the ALCS.
5. Bieber Fever
Drake’s loyalty to another franchise however, will never waiver. Let’s talk about the unconditional love between fellow Canadians Drake and Justin Bieber. This love affair goes way back, long before the Biebs was even close to becoming a tattooed criminal with threats of American deportation – long before Selena Gomez and even weed were in the picture. Back in the good old days, Drake supported an innocent, cute little baby Bieber, when Justin was just a corny little boy act. Yes, a young Bieber epitomizes the word corny, and there stood Drake by his side, all smiles, and giddy as the 10-year-old schoolgirls in the audience.
4. Hotline Bling
There’s nothing 10-year-old schoolgirls love more than a GIF. Thanks Drake for the most GIF-friendly video in the history of mankind. With those generic backgrounds and offbeat dance steps, kids across the worldwide web can lampoon your art with the greatest of ease. Few things are cornier than the oversaturation of an idea. But the good news is “Hotline Bling” may have finally knocked Silento’s “Watch Me (Whip/ Nae Nae)” off of the over-played dance music rotation. “Hotline Bling”, a nonsensical word combo, so catchy and brilliant that tweens think it’s an established colloquialism of old people speak. And getting Drake’s latest genius melody out of your head is nearly impossible.
3. Just Tooooo Corny
Drake has done the Whip and Nae Nae as a GIF, and he probably does it at home too, because Drizzy prefers corny stuff. Take a look at some of the outfits he’s wearing in “Hotline Bling”. Now just think, that’s just one of the thousands of ugly outfits he has worn in videos and photo shoots over the years. With extremely poor judgment, its a good thing he has a clothing line, right? Poor Drake is simply drawn to cheese—but he’s damn good at it. He hosted SNL in 2014 and killed! In one skit he acted like a goofy employee at a Disneyworld live show. Drizzy performed the cheesy role perfectly, and as mentioned before, he’s not a good actor. (And yes, he’s so corny that being corny is only number 3.)
2. Word Travels Fast
Drake has spread the word of corny. A word that is emblazoned in pop history. Our beloved Drizzy invented the most exploited, wide-reaching, cheeseball word. A word that spans from the tween t-shirts to the grandma coffee mugs. The worst expression in the history of North American English. Ready? It’s YOLO, the pinnacle of corny. Yes, the acronym for You Only Live Once. The expression that has become so overused, that The Richest is almost ashamed to mention it here. That’s how bad the corny is, folks. Want to see what could possibly beat this vile cliché of a word? Why not? Read on. YOLO.
1. Too Much Love
Of course! The one and only thing that can trump YOLO, Bieber Fever, and even corniness itself, is love. Drizzy is such a sappy, pathetic romantic. In fact, if you can listen to an entire Drake album without Facebook-stalking that old flame you lost back in 9th grade, then power to you, my friend, you are very strong. Even Hotline Bling, Drake’s biggest single, which has been mentioned way too many times in this article, is a song about losing his girl. Another tragic sonnet from Drizzpeare. Drake can’t help it. He’s a lover. He just loves everything. Every sports team, TV show, and outfit. Every bird and every butt. And most of all there’s his unrelenting love for the music, which has provided him with much success, success that we love to admire and mock too, just a little bit.
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