It’s back to school time. And whether you loved school or hated it, you’ll agree that the teachers made all the difference. The odds are that most of yours were forgettable, a few were inspirational, and one or two were hated more than Mr. Hand from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. If you were lucky, you even had one that caught your eye.
Who isn’t attracted to teachers? Knowledge is sexy – especially when it’s wielded by a beautiful woman. Now add to that a desk and some chalk dust, and you have yourself a nice little fantasy. Few are fortunate enough to turn that dream into a reality, though.
So let us do the next best thing. Come along for a journey of discovery in ranking the hottest on-screen teachers. No matter if you were a science geek, a teacher’s pet or the BMOC, there’s something for everyone’s taste. Just don’t forget your number two pencils.
45. Louanne Johnson – Dangerous Minds
Michelle Pfeiffer was a hard-edged beauty in Dangerous Minds. We loved her petite figure and her thin lips, but we were especially turned on when she wore that leather jacket! And who can forget how hot she looked in the Coolio video when she sat backwards on a chair? If inner city schools had teachers that looked like that, we bet test scores would rise.
44. Julia Fitzpatrick – Valentine’s Day
Jennifer Garner played a beautiful elementary school teacher in the movie Valentine’s Day. She looks wholesome and beautiful in her polka dot sweater and modest skirt. Her friendly smile lights up the room, as do her girlish dimples. She has the sort of kindness and enthusiasm that would motivate any student to pay attention, learn and daydream about kissing her.
43. Jessica Day – New Girl
Zooey Deschanel is the cutest little hipster teacher on New Girl. Her frilly outfits would make anyone want to run to class to be on time. And her bed-head makes us wonder what she was doing the night before. Her glasses are the icing on the cake – she doesn’t look bookish, but rather witty and sophisticated. Beauty and brains!
42. Sheba Hart – Notes on a Scandal
Cate Blanchett played a teacher who got mixed up with a young student in Notes on a Scandal. It’s easy to see why a student would be attracted to her. She has brilliant blonde hair, pouty lips, and is smartly dressed. And her English accent puts her over the top. Her character gave hope to every little boy that maybe – just maybe – he really could land the teacher.
41. Elizabeth Burke – The Faculty
Famke Janssen played a flawless beauty in the 90s teen hit, The Faculty. She’s as gorgeous as a model with her chocolate brown hair, chiseled face and shapely body. Who cares if she’s an alien? She can get away with anything with those looks.
40. Sarah Madison – Detached
Audiences loved Christina Hendricks in Mad Men, so they were thrilled when they could see her curves in the feature film Detached. If you thought she was hot as a secretary, get a load of her as a school teacher! She still has all the curves, all the swagger, and to die for red hair that makes her every bit the knockout.
39. Palmer – Just Go with It
Brooklyn Decker played a sixth grade math teacher in Just Go with It. She has the sort of looks that would distract any boy from learning quadratic equations, imaginary numbers and permutations. Her blue eyes and blonde hair make her look more appropriate for the beach than a classroom.
38. Katherine Ann Watson – Mona Lisa Smile
Julia Roberts played a beautiful (and intelligent) art history teacher in Mona Lisa Smile. She inspired her students to think for themselves and to reach for the skies. If every college professor looked like her, there wouldn’t be any drop-outs and everyone would graduate cum laude.
37. Ms. Norbury – Mean Girls
Tina Fey isn’t the hottest teacher on this list looks-wise, but she has something that most women can’t learn – intelligence and wit. As a high school teacher in Mean Girls, she played the role of the steady adult, who was a mentor to her students. Who wouldn’t be attracted to that? She has the sort of beauty that would win students over by mid-term.
36. Miss Honey – Matilda
Embeth Davidtz played the loveable Miss Honey in the film adaptation of Matilda. Miss Honey was a character who was sweet as sugar, hence her name. Inner beauty doesn’t always translate to outer beauty, but in this case it does. Miss Honey’s skin glows, her smile is endless, and her eyes are inviting. She’s also in a perpetual good mood, which is food for the soul when you’re a student.
35. Miss Riley – October Sky
Laura Dern played an inspirational high school science teacher in October Sky. Set in the 1950s, she exhibited classic good looks with her curled hair, full skirts and red lips. Everyone wanted a teacher like her – she believed in her students even when others didn’t.
34. Van Halen Hot for Teacher Video Vixens
Van Halen said what everyone was thinking, “I’m hot for teacher!” The “teachers” in their video exemplified the ideal instructors. The models were all leggy, with big hair and big “brains.” They had a perky physical education teacher and a cheeky chemistry teacher. It’s been 30 years, and we’ve still got it bad!
33. Hailey James Scott – One Tree Hill
Bethany Joy Lenz played a high school teacher on One Tree Hill and her male fans are forever grateful. She had down to Earth good looks, which made her approachable. She was the kind of woman that men felt comfortable around, which meant they fantasized about having a chance with her. It also helped that she was pretty cool, as she was also a singer.
32. Lisa Zachey – Drillbit Taylor
Leslie Mann was smokin’ hot as a teacher in Drillbit Taylor. Her curly, strawberry blonde hair made boys of all ages ache. Her matronly garb was a tease. And her porcelain skin begged to be kissed. What a shame that her charms were wasted in the movie with Owen Wilson!
31. Erin Gruwell – Freedom Writers
Hilary Swank played an enthusiastic teacher in a tough school in the movie Freedom Writers. She was elegant in blazers, pearl necklaces and tailored shirts. Her looks were so polished that boys just wanted to get with her and dirty her up a bit.
30. Joyce Palmieri – Kindergarten Cop
Penelope Ann Miller was a cute elementary school teacher that stole Arnold Schwarzenegger’s heart in Kindergarten Cop. If she’s good enough for him, then she’s good enough for us. Her strawberry blonde hair and cherry blossom lips make students swoon. And she’s so gentle that no one would mind taking a pop quiz for her.
29. Ms. Rain – Precious
Before everyone knew Paula Patton as Robin Thicke’s wife, she played a teacher in the hit movie Precious. Her supple skin and deep eyes make students fall in love. And her inspirational speeches make them want to shoot for the stars.
28. Karen Pomeroy – Donnie Darko
Drew Barrymore has versatile looks, but she always brings the heat. She played a teacher in Donnie Darko that certainly had her hands full, considering one of her students had visions of a demonic rabbit. Still, Barrymore managed to shine with her silky hair, big bright eyes and kissable red lips.
27. Miss Farrell – Mad Men
Abigail Spencer played one of Don Draper’s many love interests in Mad Men. Her wavy dark hair and supple body caught Don’s eye – and ours. Who cares if she was his daughter’s teacher? This just goes to show that even though you might have missed out on hooking up with one of your crushes as a student, you can still capture the same glory by dating a teacher as an adult!
26. Christy Huddleston – Christy
Now don’t go saying that you weren’t attracted to Kellie Martin in the short-lived TV series Christy, because she had a cult following! Her soft features gave her that “certain something” that men found irresistible. And for some reason her old-fashioned dress was the cherry on top.
25. Ms. Berrerra – The Simpsons
Sofia Vergara loaned her voice to the character of Ms. Berrera on The Simpsons, and men burned for her. And why not? The character had a toned physique, petal pink lips, and a bitchin’ tattoo on her neck. She may not be Gloria Pritchett, but she’ll do!
24. Ms. Robin Elizabeth Bishop – Summer School
Kirstie Alley played a high school teacher in the 80s cult classic Summer School. This was in an era when Alley was hot stuff – not the Jenny Craig spokesperson we know today. Her long legs would stretch out in front of her when she sat on her desk, and send shivers up her male students’ spines.
23. Mona Gray – An Invisible Sign
Jessica Alba can’t help but look gorgeous – even when playing a math teacher on-screen! When she wore her hair with bangs and pigtails, she blurred the lines between student and teacher in the most pleasurable of ways. Listening to her scratch with chalk on the blackboard was music to the ears of viewers.
22. Miss Bliss – Saved by the Bell
Who didn’t have a secret crush on Miss Bliss from Saved by the Bell? Her British accent, wit and wisdom totally disarmed her students. She was kind and inspiring, which made her student want to be on time for class, do their homework, and play well with others.
21. Linda the Teacher – Role Models
Jessica Morris had a small part in Role Models as a teacher that hooks up with Seann William Scott. However, she left a big impression on everyone’s mind. It wasn’t her silky blonde hair that did it, or even her perfect ten body. It was the way she wore those librarian glasses that did the trick!
20. Dr. Charlie Wheeler – Friends
Ross Geller had many love interests on Friends, but one of his most popular was Dr. Charlie Wheeler, played by Aisha Tyler. Tyler’s deep-toned skin, thousand-watt smile and tall beauty made men everywhere want to sharpen their number two pencils. Ross may have been the least attractive guy on the show, but he sure did date some hotties.
19. Miss Desjardin – Carrie
Judy Greer was delicious-looking as a high school teacher in the revamped version of Carrie. Her strawberry-colored hair was the perfect mix between naughty and nice. And the rest of her was attractive, too. Her swan-like neck, long limbs and svelte figure made men want to get tangled up in her.
18. Carrie Bradshaw – Sex and the City
Yes, Carrie Bradshaw was briefly a teacher on Sex and the City. She taught a class at the famous Learning Annex; it was all about how single women could meet men. Sarah Jessica Parker certainly didn’t look the part of a school marm, with her tight outfits and big wavy hair. She even took her students on an unusual field trip – a bar to pick up men.
17. Lois Griffin – Family Guy
Let’s not forget that Family Guy‘s Lois Griffin is a teacher – a piano teacher more specifically! She makes all the guys want to hit all the right notes, and practice every single night.
16. Maria von Trapp – The Sound of Music
Carrie Underwood’s acting in the live TV version of The Sound of Music was universally panned. But male admirers still wanted to hook up with her because she just looked so darn lovely in her German costumes. She didn’t teach at a desk, but she taught the whole von Trapp family to sing, and to love!
15. Sister James – Doubt
No one is immune to a nun’s charms – no one! There’s something about their devout demeanor that draws men to them. Such is the case with Amy Adams’ portrayal of Sister James. Her gentle ways and pale good looks made males everywhere want to get her to break her vows. They just wanted to know what was underneath her habit.
14. Dr. Diane Turner – Back to School
Sally Kellerman played a college professor in the Rodney Dangerfield hit Back to School. She’s one of the older women on the list, but what man hasn’t had an insatiable attraction to such a teacher? There’s something about a woman that is an intellectual – especially when she quotes James Joyce. It also didn’t hurt that Kellerman had a wide smile and rocked boho chic duds.
13. Pam Byrnes – Meet the Parents
Teri Polo played a teacher in Meet the Parents. She stole the heart of Greg (Ben Stiller), who would do anything for her. Her porcelain skin, gleaming eyes and shapely physique gives her outer beauty. But it’s her inner beauty that steals the hearts of men and children alike.
12. Vivian Bearing – Wit
Emma Thompson played the professor that everyone dreams of having in college in the movie Wit. Her mature good looks made men and women alike want to be schooled in the art of love.
11. Dr. Theodora Altman – Grey’s Anatomy
Kim Raver played Dr. Theodora “Teddy” Altman on Grey’s Anatomy. Her teaching skills may have been controversial, but that hasn’t stopped men from wanting to be examined by her from head to toe. A poke or a prod from this lady would be welcomed at least once a year.
10. Annalise Keating – How to Get Away with Murder
Viola Davis plays a top-notch attorney who is also a law professor on How to Get Away with Murder. She is always spot-on in her analysis, and that sort of spunk is quite the turn-on. Her full lips, wide eyes, and toned body have encouraged men of all ages to hit the books.
9. Penny Johnson – Dirty Dancing
Cynthia Rhodes played Penny in Dirty Dancing. She was tasked with helping Johnny teach Baby to dance – and she kind of stole the show. Rhodes’ trim figure moved in slinky ways when she danced, which accentuated her perky bust. Her face oozed sexiness, with its high cheekbones and sparkling eyes. She left many a man wanting to take up tap and jazz.
8. Karina Smirnoff – Dancing with the Stars
If every dance teacher had moves like that of Karina Smirnoff, then more men would take up dancing. She shakes her hips better than Shakira. Her lips are more voluptuous than Angelina Jolie’s. And her eyes are more piercing than Carmen Electra’s.
7. Gwen Stefani – The Voice
Gwen Stefani is so hot as a vocal teacher on The Voice. Her platinum blonde hair and cherry red lips compliment her black eyes. And her body is to die for.
6. Lily Aldrin – How I Met Your Mother
Alyson Hannigan made us hot for teacher playing Lily Aldrin on How I Met Your Mother. She taught kindergarten to cute little kids, but all we could think about was how hot she looked with her red hair and tight outfits. She’s the type of teacher that makes us want to color outside the lines, if you catch our drift.
5. Veronica Vaughn – Billy Madison
Billy Madison wasn’t the only one who wanted to touch Veronica Vaughn’s hygiene – we do, too! With her statuesque body, flowing blonde hair, and pouty vermilion lips, we worshipped her. Secretly, we want to get sent back to third grade just to have a shot with her.
4. Holly Holliday – Glee
No one ever had a substitute teacher that looked like Gwyneth Paltrow when she guest-starred on Glee. She rocked turtlenecks in a way that made students (and fellow teachers) pant. It also didn’t hurt that she could sing her heart out. Too bad her real-life country music singing career didn’t get lauded like her performance on the show did.
3. Miss Davis – Varsity Blues
Who didn’t grow up watching Varsity Blues and longed to have a sex education teacher like Miss Davis (Tonie Perensky)? She could talk the talk, walk the walk, and dance the dance.
2. Elizabeth Halsey – Bad Teacher
Who cares if Cameron Diaz was a bad teacher in a movie with the same name? Who would want to learn anything when looking up at her behind a desk or in front of a blackboard? We’d act up, just to get detention with her.
1. Miss Marquez – Jack
Before she was J Lo, Jennifer Lopez played a schoolteacher named Miss Marquez in the movie Jack. Although her style wasn’t over the top, she still sent hearts aflutter. She had curves for days, and even back then she had sculpted cheekbones and killer hair. What was most attractive, though, was her energetic personality.
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