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20 Celebrities… Who Might Just Be Vampires

Entertainment
20 Celebrities… Who Might Just Be Vampires

Twihards, be gone! This article has nothing to do with the sparkling abominations you’re into. Nor is it about the benevolent, glittering vampires dominating certain areas of the media. Rather, the following list features a group of Hollywood celebrities that, for one reason or another, just don’t seem to age. Really. At all.

Many of these stars have looked more or less the same for years – decades, in some instances. While the rest of us are daily waking up to new fat rolls and patches of gray hair, the beautiful men and women on this list have ostensibly uncovered the fountain of youth. Only, instead of sharing this miraculous discovery with mankind, they’re greedily hoarding its restorative powers so they can keep playing twenty-somethings well into their 50s, while the rest of us shrivel into dried husks of our once youthful selves.

Sure, the cynical among you may point out that these people are essentially paid to be good-looking. Their careers, in part, depend on their looks, so they have every incentive to stay as attractive as possible. Not to mention the fact that they have access to the trainers, nutritionists, and plastic surgeons the rest of us can only dream of. To that we say: “Nuh uh.” There’s definitely something supernatural going on here.

How else do you explain celebrity vampires like…

20. Pharrell Williams

via www.xxlmag.com

via www.xxlmag.com

The last few years have been good to Pharrell. He’s who you can thank for pleasing, feel-good songs like “Happy” and “Get Lucky.” Unfortunately, he’s also who you have to thank (curse?) for Robin Thicke‘s “Blurred Lines,” which means he’s also indirectly responsible for the world knowing who Robin Thicke is (double curse?).

How old do you think Pharrell is? 27? Maybe 29?

Try 41. The producer/singer-songwriter with the falsetto pipes of gold has actually been working in the music industry since the early 1990s, contributing writing material to artists such as Wreckx-N-Effect and Blackstreet, before striking out on his own and producing some of the biggest hits of the late 1990s and 2000s. And through all that, he suspiciously hasn’t visibly aged by a single day.

19. Rob Lowe

via www.people.com

via www.people.com

Hidden in his attic, somewhere behind musty boxes full of old clothes and movie memorabilia, there’s a secret painting of a timeworn and ancient Rob Lowe that grows more and more decrepit each day. Meanwhile, the real-life Dorian Gray has been making his rounds through show business with a face that is unchanged for the last three decades.

The former Hollywood bad boy is 50 years old today, but you wouldn’t know it to look at him. Aside from a few distinguished gray hairs and a very subtle extra wrinkle or two, there’s not much to distinguish 50-year-old Lowe from 35-year-old Lowe. He actually seems to get better looking with age.

18. Halle Berry

via www.instyle.com

via www.instyle.com

Halle Berry is one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood, and has been for more than two decades. The actress has had a long and eclectic career, starring in films ranging from box office bombs to critical successes. The highlight of her career was arguably in 2002 when she won the Academy Award for Best Actress for her role in Monster’s Ball. Either that, or 2004’s Catwoman, commonly cited as one of the worst movies ever made.

Career ups-and-downs aside, there’s no denying that Berry has been blessed with the ability to age remarkably well. The bombshell is currently 48 years old, but she still easily passes for a woman in her early thirties.

17. Elijah Wood

via www.fanpop.com

via www.fanpop.com

Even at 33, Elijah Wood doesn’t look a day over 20. Sure he tries, what with that scraggly half-beard he’s become fond of lately. But he still has the nervous, youthful look of a kid who’s afraid to stay out too late lest he miss his curfew.

But despite his young age and even younger appearance, Frodo has already had quite the career. He started acting in the late 1980s (his first film was Back to the Future Part II) and had his most well-known role in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. He’s also an accomplished voice actor, starring in the avant-garde penguin fetish film, Happy Feet, and later its sequel.

16. Steve Martin

via www.screencrush.com

via www.screencrush.com

Legendary funnyman Steve Martin has been in his mid-50s for at least three decades. The man has hardly aged a day since The Jerk. Although that movie came out in 1979 when Martin was only 34. So, Martin was basically aging at an accelerated pace until he had aged just enough to look like everybody’s embarrassing dad. At which point, he flipped off the switch and has been cryogenically frozen ever since, only thawing occasionally to tell a few jokes and play a banjo here and there.

The 69 year old has reinvented himself many times over the years. He started on the road as a stand-up comic, before branching into television, movies, book, theater, and music. Now he spends most of his time perfecting his banjo skills with his touring bluegrass band (no joke).

15. Bianca Lawson

via www.dailymail.co.uk / www.imdb.com

via www.dailymail.co.uk / www.imdb.com

Probably the least well-known on this list, Bianca Lawson has made a career for herself playing teenagers. The only catch? She’s now in her mid-30s. One of her first main roles was as a teenage dancer in the 2001 movie Save the Last Dance. One of her more recent roles was as another teenager, Maya St. Germain, in the popular TV show Pretty Little Liars. She was in PLL as late as 2012, when she was 33 years old, playing a character half her age. As one sensationalistic but accurate Daily Mail headline declared, she’s been ‘playing a 17 year old for 17 years’.

In between, the 35 year old Lawson has kept busy in a number of roles playing many different age groups, from teenager to early 20s all the way up to mid-20s. Talk about range!

14. Enrique Iglesias

via articulo.mercadolibre.com.mx / www.zastavki.com

via articulo.mercadolibre.com.mx / www.zastavki.com

Enrique Iglesias, international pop sensation and full-time heartthrob, has been making women (and – who are we kidding – men) swoon for decades with his irresistible combination of rhythmic beats and hobo-chic charm. The Spaniard began his singing career in 1995 at the age of 20 with a string of hits that launched him into stardom throughout Spain, Portugal, and Latin America.

The 39 year old began his foray into English language songs in 1999 and his popularity only grew from there. Since then, he has been an entertainment icon and his music has been heard by literally billions of people all over the world. If he ever learns how to sing in Mandarin, Earth will be his for the taking.

13. LL Cool J

via www.thumbpress.com

via www.thumbpress.com

LL Cool J is 46 years old! That doesn’t even seem possible.

First of all, he looks like he’s maybe 30…maaaybe. Second of all, he just seems too cool to be pushing 50 (not that 50+ individuals can’t be cool – see Steve Martin above for proof that they absolutely can). But LL has been in the game since 1985 when he released his debut album Radio. He followed that with 12 more albums over the course of his career, plus one more record on the way. Add in a slew of successful film and television appearances over the years and you’ve got the makings of one of the most prolific resumes in the entertainment industry.

Bonus Fact: “LL Cool J” stands for “Ladies Love Cool James” (his real name is James Todd Smith).

12. Johnny Depp

via acidcow.com

via acidcow.com

It’s not often that one person can so effortlessly command both the unwavering adulation of millions of fans and the snide derision of the movie-going public. But that’s where Johnny Depp comes in. The unaging Depp – who is technically 51 years old, if you can believe it – has been universally loved for some of his roles (Edward Scissorhands and Captain Jack Sparrow come to mind) and equally disparaged for others (Willy Wonka or Tonto, anyone?).

Regardless of the quality of his movies over the years, there’s no denying Depp’s considerable charm, both on-screen and off, something no doubt facilitated in part by his eternal good looks.

11. Will Smith

via dysophea.blogspot.com

via dysophea.blogspot.com

The Fresh Prince seems to be in a bit of a funk lately. He used to be a veritable movie Midas – anything he touched turned to gold. But then he gave us After Earth and forced his obnoxious offspring on us, and the world is still trying to recover from these betrayals.

Still, arguably the biggest movie star of the past 20 years, Will Smith has deftly parlayed his signature blend of action, humor, and family-friendliness into unprecedented box office success time and time again.

It’s hard to believe that DJ *Jazzy Jeff”s partner in crime is already 46 years old, mostly because he doesn’t look a day over 34. Hopefully, Smith can get his blockbuster career back on track soon and the world can go back to loving him instead of wondering what’s wrong with his kids and why on earth he made a movie with M. Night Shyamalan.

*For all you Fresh Prince of Bel Air fans, Jazz is 49 years old!

10. Reese Witherspoon

via www.zimbio.com

via www.zimbio.com

Reese Witherspoon, America’s once-sweetheart and proud new recipient of a disorderly conduct arrest, ran into a bit of a publicity hiccup earlier this year when her husband got pulled over for driving under the influence and an inebriated Reese thought that was the opportune time to play a drunken game of “Do You Know Who I Am?” with the arresting officers. Diva actions aside, the 38-year-old’s mugshot looked like it easily could have been taken a decade and a half earlier.

Witherspoon looks like she hasn’t aged a day since her breakout role in 2001’s Legally Blonde. Just add a pink suit and a tiny accessory chihuahua and she’s Elle Woods all over again.

9. Joseph Gordon-Levitt

via imgarcade.com

via imgarcade.com

Though he first became known to audiences as the little kid from Angels in the Outfield, Joseph Gordon-Levitt really became famous for his role as Tommy Solomon in the television show 3rd Rock from the Sun. But he was just a young’un in those roles. Once he left 3rd Rock in 2001, he grew into a man, seemingly overnight.

He hasn’t really changed much in the intervening time. Sure, in the last few years, he’s filled out a bit and his once squeaky voice has been replaced by a dulcet tenor, but his appearance is largely unchanged. The 33-year-old easily passes for someone in his early 20s, and likely will for the foreseeable future.

8. John Leguizamo

via www.vebidoo.com / www.hollywoodnews.com

via www.vebidoo.com / www.hollywoodnews.com

Hollywood is full of actors who have made long and productive careers out of supporting roles but who, for one reason or another, never quite made it to the A-list themselves. For every Will Smith and Brad Pitt (an honorary vampire himself), there are dozens of John Leguizamos out there to make the superstar better. Leguizamo is probably best known to most people as the voice of Sid the Sloth from the Ice Age movies.

Leguizamo has been active since the mid-80s, when he started making his rounds through the New York stand-up comedy scene, and his appearance hasn’t changed much since. He’s now 50 years old, but still retains the looks and brash demeanor of a much younger man.

7. Paul Rudd

via www.hollywood.com

via www.hollywood.com

Paul Rudd, also known as that guy your wife dreams about, has spent the last two decades or so charming the pants off the world. His droll, self-deprecating brand of humor is disarming at first, causing you to let down your guard. But just when you think you’ve got him figured out, BAMMM, he stares into the depths of your very soul with his piercing green eyes and you’re his forever. That’s who Paul Rudd is: a soul-stealing incubus in the guise of a lovable goofball.

But we digress. Rudd first came to fame in 1995’s Clueless. He was 26 years old at the time, and, thanks to the miracle of math, we are able to deduce that he is currently 45 years old! Yet, he hasn’t physically aged since the mid-90s. So, when Hollywood inevitably decides to reboot the Clueless franchise as a gritty action-drama about the rise and fall of a Beverly Hills crime syndicate, Paul Rudd is practically a shoe-in to reprise his role from nearly twenty years ago.

6. Tom Cruise

via missosology.info

via missosology.info

The world seems to have a love-hate relationship with Tom Cruise. On the one hand, he’s been consistently making high-quality, entertaining movies for decades now and he genuinely seems to be an upstanding guy. On the other hand… Scientology (which, due to its extremely litigious reputation, we will make no further commentary on, other than to respectfully state that it is a church which does, in fact, exist).

But say what you want about the man’s religious beliefs, Tom Cruise could practically be the spokesman for celebrity vampires everywhere, if he weren’t already working heavy PR on Xenu’s dime. Cruise may be onto something, though, because he looks damn good for a 52-year-old. Perhaps it’s time we all embrace our inner thetan?

5. Eva Mendes

via www.luuux.com

via www.luuux.com

She’s been acting since 1996, but Eva Mendes got her big break playing the wife of Denzel Washington’s character in the 2001 film Training Day. Following that, Mendes went on to star in a string of hit movies and she remains one of the most in-demand actresses in Hollywood.

Mendes was 27 when she starred in Training Day, and, though she’s now 40 years old, she looks like she hasn’t aged a day in the nearly decade and a half since she broke into the business. And, ladies, if Eva’s natural beauty and eternal youth don’t make you hate her, it should also be known that she’s currently in a long-term relationship with fellow actor and all-around stud muffin Ryan Gosling.

4. Jared Leto

via www.eonline.com

via www.eonline.com

It’s probably safe to assume that Jared Leto is a bit of an oddball. He’s a method actor, which means he completely immerses himself in his roles, even when he’s away from the set. So, depending on what movie he’s currently starring in, you could theoretically run into Jared Leto at the local Applebee’s (or wherever movie stars like to frequent … Arby’s?) carrying on as a transgender AIDS patient, a Macedonian nobleman, or a petty burglar (that last one might not be a role he’s playing).

Eccentricities aside, Leto’s appearance has changed very little since his breakout role as runner Steve Prefontaine in 1997’s imaginatively named Prefontaine. The actor is now 42 years old but could easily play the role of a college frat boy, which might actually be a lot of fun for Leto given his acting methodology.

3. Morgan Freeman

via Paramount Pictures / Warner Bros.

via Paramount Pictures / Warner Bros.

Morgan Freeman is like the world’s grandpa, only with more interesting stories. He’s been acting since the 1960s and has built an impressive resume complete with award-winning performances and blockbuster starring roles. The man has portrayed Nelson Mandela, the president of the United States, and, or course God on the silver screen – and has narrated practically every documentary worth watching.

Freeman clearly went to the Steve Martin school of celebrity vampirism. He aged normally until his mid-50s. Twenty-some-odd years later and the 77-year-old doesn’t look like he’s aged a day since the 1980s. Kinda makes sense that God wouldn’t age, of course.

2. Kate Hudson

via People/InStyle

via People/InStyle

Kate Hudson‘s breakout role came in 2000 when she starred in Almost Famous. She then played the lead in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, which set her on the path to become America’s rom com queen for the better part of a decade. She’s hit a bit of a rough patch lately, featuring in a string of critically panned movies that audiences have received with a collective “meh.” For instance, did you see A Little Bit of Heaven, the listless romantic comedy about a woman with cancer who falls in love with her eccentric doctor? Well, if box office receipts are to be believed, no, and neither did we. Because it sucked.

Regardless, the blonde bombshell still has her looks, which remarkably haven’t changed much at all in the last 14 years. She’s by no means old – only 35 – but she could easily play the role of a much younger woman. She just needs to be a little more selective in choosing her movies, if she wants her career to mirror the longevity of her looks.

1. Keanu Reeves

via mysticinvestigations.com

via mysticinvestigations.com

Let’s just get this out of the way: Keanu Reeves is 50 years old.

Clearly he’s either a Highlander, or The Matrix is a true story and Keanu really is mankind’s savior. There’s no other way to explain how 50-year-old Keanu looks exactly like 30-year-old Keanu, albeit with considerably more facial hair.

Perhaps he doesn’t seem to age because he only knows how to make one facial expression. Keanu’s Blue Steel is a carefully honed combination of two parts sad, one part stoned, a pinch of hungry, and just a bit of kid who’s lost in the mall but is trying to put on a brave face so people don’t know he’s scared. If you want a hearty laugh or a good cry, just Google “Sad Keanu” and sit back and prepare for the feels.

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