The Simpsons is a classic TV show that will never go out of style. A hundred years from now, people will still be exclaiming “D’oh,” will still be laughing when Bart and Lisa fight, and will still be clamoring for an Itchy and Scratchy spin-off. Everything about the show is golden, from its unique characters, to its Halloween episodes, to its one-liners. But a true fan of The Simpsons is also a foodie, and wants to gobble up all the unique (and sometimes strange) foods that have been portrayed over the years.
Everyone wants to try Marge’s famous jelly bean cookies, and her marshmallow squares. They’d even try her delicious celery soup if only given the chance. And of course, we can't forget Homer's donut obsession. But the foods that truly entice fans the most are the ones that are Simpsons-specific. The foods and drinks that can only be found in Springfield, and not on any other store shelves. Over the years, we’ve been teased by tasty creations like lobsters stuffed with tacos as served at The Gilded Truffle, Simpson & Son Revitalizing Tonic and the Krusty Klump Bar. Some foods even sound so bad that we are compelled to try them just to have the pleasure of spitting them out, such as Grade F meat as served at Springfield Elementary School (it’s mostly circus animals) and Red Tick Beer.
So join us on a culinary adventure courtesy of The Simpsons. We are counting down the top 15 fictional foods from the show that we’d love to taste. Have a napkin ready, because your mouth is going to water!
14 Krusty O’s
The number one selling Krusty brand product has got to be Krusty O’s. We imagine the O’s tasting like a cross between Cookie Crisp and the marshmallows from Lucky Charms. We just know that our days would start out better if we began them with a big bowl of Krusty O’s. Who wants Fruity Pebbles or some healthy Kashi cereal when we can have Krusty O’s?! And what about all the great prizes inside, like a jagged metal Krusty O? Bart ate one, and got to go to the hospital with resulting appendicitis – and got to sue Krusty for $100,000! Now that’s what we call a win-win situation!
12 Cool Ranch Soda
11 Grandma Plopwell’s Pudding
10 Malk And Squeaky Farms Brand Genuine Animal Milk
Who knew that milk wasn’t always milk? Leave it to The Simpsons to find a distinction. In one episode, Spring Elementary School is trying desperately to save money. They cut corners by not buying new textbooks, and cutting out one of the “three Rs.” Things get so bad for the teachers that they strike. As for the students, they are left drinking “malk” – which is a substitute for milk and has Vitamin R in it. Bart is particularly upset by the change, since it makes his bones brittle. Although it’s disgusting, we do want a swig of malk – just once. We really want to know what imitation milk tastes like! Is it watery? Is it gamey? Is it buttery?
9 Shakespeare’s Fried Chicken
8 Krusty Burgers… And IRS Burgers
Krusty Burgers sound awful. After all, they have the word “Krusty” in them. Still, that won’t stop us from ordering one. It won’t even stop us from ordering one with special sauce – which, according to the show, is just mayonnaise left out in the sun. Krusty the Klown endorses all sorts of things, from home pregnancy tests to alarm clocks to a summer camp. As long as his products have the Krusty Brand Seal of Approval, then we’re perfectly fine with consuming them. We imagine Krusty Burgers as being just as good as McDonald’s – and twice the price. After all, Krusty has said that it isn’t comedy that’s in his blood but selling out.
7 Cheesus H Rice
6 Three-Eyed Fish
Springfield is known for its three-eyed fish. They swim in the waterways near the nuclear power plant, and are rather plentiful. One in particular made a name for himself – Blinky. Bart caught him while fishing one day, and it made news in The Springfield Shopper. This embarrassed Mr. Burns, who owned the nuclear plant and was running for governor at the time. He tried to put a spin on it, claiming that Blinky wasn’t a mutation due to the nuclear plant, but was simply a rung up on the evolutionary ladder. Long story short, Mr. Burns chooses to dine with the Simpsons on the eve of the election – and Marge serves him Blinky for dinner. Since the press is there, Mr. Burns takes a bite but cannot swallow it, and ends up spitting Blinky out.
5 Powersauce Bar
Where do we start with Tomacco? Tomacco is a crop that only Homer Simpson could grow – and by accident, no less. In one episode he started a farm, and wound up with a plant called “Tomacco” that was part tomato and part tobacco. It had the looks of the fruit with the addictiveness of nicotine. People hated the taste, but yearned for the jumpstart it gave their bodies. Of course hilarity ensued, since Big Tobacco wanted to buy the exclusive rights, and because the animals on the farm went haywire for the stuff.
3 Gummi Venus de Milo
2 Pretzel Wagon
1 Duff Beer, Fudd And The Flaming Homer
We’re tired off all those craft beers and the endless IPAs that are being pushed on us. We want some manly beer, designed for all the Joe Twelve-Packs in the world. We want to drink some Duff! Duff is where it’s at. And why wouldn’t it be? There’s Duff Gardens, where we can put on beer goggles and see the world through the eyes of a drunk. There’s Duff Man – oh yeah! And there’s even an imitator out there – Fudd. Sure, Fudd caused all those hillbillies to go blind – but who cares? Homer enjoyed drinking it when he went to that country bar and met Lurlene Lumpkin who would become the country singer he managed for one episode.
We want some Duff so bad we can taste it. If Barney swears by it, then we’re sure we’d like it because he’s got to be a beer connoisseur. If we went to Moe’s for a cold one, we’d definitely be calling Uber, because you can’t get enough of that wonderful Duff! We’d also order a Flaming Homer. The mix of alcohol and children’s cough syrup alight with fire really makes our mouths water.
Sources: Simpsonswiki.com, Wikipedia.org, Smosh
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