The innocence that youth holds is something to be cherished, respected and admired. The little people in our lives that we hold close with their pure hearts and minds are the very souls we mold to become the leaders and innovators of tomorrow. While at their most crucial developmental stages we have the huge responsibility of shaping their habits, thought processes and attitudes. It’s a tough job. So, to make things easier on the parents, adult comments get slipped into conversation and entertainment, here and there, which is far too complex for a child’s understanding or comprehension.
With those little, subliminal messages carefully crafted into the content we watched as kids, a generation later, can you imagine the filth and debauchery that is inserted into children’s shows today? It’s somewhat terrifying to think about, knowing that we might have to sit in on a majority of the TV shows our kids watch, just to make sure the content is appropriate.
Let us take you back in time so we can relive all the darkness that lived in some of our favorite cartoons. Check them out for yourself and see if you don’t get that weird, awkward, vaguely familiar tingle going down your spine, knowing that you were just an unknowing youth, blindly watching your favorite animation, unaware your young mind was getting corrupted.
15. The Flash Might Just Have A Stamina Issue
Episode: “Eclipsed” [Season 2, Episode 13]
Have you ever wondered if the members of the Justice League ever hooked up or if there was any sexual tension within the group? Well, The Flash made his move while bragging to Hawkgirl about his superhero conquest and being the ‘fastest man alive.’ Unfortunately, his plan backfired when Hawkgirl mockingly replied, “Which might explain why you can’t get a date.” Ouch. Talk about being shot down, eh? Then again, if you think about it, Hawkgirl might just have a valid point on her hands. Throughout the history of The Flash, has he ever won over the girl? Anyway, we have a feeling only the older comic book aficionados got this particular reference. We’re not gonna lie, that is one hilarious and well written one-liner.
14. Smurfette Flirts A Lot With Bigmouth
Episode: “Supersmurf” (Season 1, Episode 12)
We’ve all wondered how the entire Smurf existence came to be, being that there is only one female Smurf in the entire village. To this day, we’re not sure if Papa Smurf and Smurfette are responsible for the Smurf population but the legend later reveals that Smurfette was created by Gargamel to destroy the Smurf society, which makes even less sense. Anyway, in the very first season of the show, the Smurf community is robbed of their food supply by a local ogre by the name of Bigmouth. In attempt to get some their food supply back, Smurfette approaches Bigmouth in hopes to flirt her way to retrieving the food supply. Bigmouth then addresses Smurfette as a Smurf and she replies, “Oh, you silly ogre. I’m not a Smurf, I’m a Smurfette… wanna see?” Before rejecting her offer, the ogre takes a brief pause before answering. Luckily, he denied her request but what if Bigmouth’s answer was different? Also, we never thought that Smurfette had it in her.
13. Batman Beyond’s High School Jock, Nash, Offers Bobbi A ‘Ride’
Episode: “Golem” (Season 1, Episode 4)
Batman Beyond was based on a teenage version of Batman, so you could only imagine that there were gonna be a couple of eyebrow-raising moments. It didn’t take the writers long before they put in a blatant sexual innuendo. During the fourth episode, high school students Nelson Nash and Bobbi “Blade” Summer are hanging out at the local mall when Nash mentions that he wants to go for a ride. Bobbi replies, “You like that car more than me,” in which Nash responds, “Who’s talking about cars?” The line was so obvious that Hub channel officials edited the line out instantly. Can you blame the high school jock for being extra arrogant, though? What’s even funnier is that Seth Green voiced the Batman Beyond character.
12. Spongebob & Patrick Have A Baby Scallop
Episode: “Rock-a-Bye Bivalve” (Season 3, Episode 9)
Spongebob Squarepants has gotten away with a lot since it’s been on air, and time and time again the older viewers always questioned the sexuality of our square yellow friend. The creators of the show left nothing to the imagination when Spongebob and Patrick ended up playing house with a baby scallop they found. To be honest, we’ve seen weirder bloodlines on the show, for instance, Mr. Krabs, a crab obviously, and his daughter, Pearl, who appears to be a grey whale. How was she conceived? We will never know… Anyways, at the end of the episode, Patrick mentions that the two should have another one, insinuating that they should have another baby scallop. With that being said, I guess we know who’s pitching, Spongebob, and who’s catching, Patrick. Regardless, more power to our under water friends.
11. Johnny Bravo’s Not Worth A Virgin Sacrifice
Episode: “Johnny Bravo and the Amazon Women” [Season 1, Episode 1]
We all should have all seen this one coming from a mile away, being that Johnny Bravo’s sole purpose in life was to be a lady’s man. In some ways he accomplished his goal, but a majority of the time his overzealous attitude kept him in the doghouse. So, on the very first episode of the TV show, Johnny ended up in a group of Amazon women and was offered as a virgin sacrifice to the deity, Athena. He was thrown into a volcano to burn but the volcano instantly erupted and destroyed the Amazonian village, which pretty much let the older viewers know that Johnny was definitely no virgin. Pretty slick, of the writers of the hit show.
10. The Powerpuff Girl’s Sedusa Sharpens The Mayor’s Pencil
Episode: “Something’s A Ms.” [Season 2, Episode 13]
Even though the Powerpuff Girls was about three little girls that were created out of sugar, spice, and everything nice, sometimes the Cartoon Network TV series was none of the above. Especially when it came to the season two episode where the mayor’s hot assistant, Ms. Bellum, was kidnapped by the evil villain Sedusa, who then replaced her, disguised as the assistant. Upon first seeing the fake Ms. Bellum, the mayor breaks his pencil and Sedusa seductively sharpens it into a tiny nub of a pencil as he stares at her all googley-eyed. Later, as it was revealed that Sedusa was in a Ms. Bellum disguise, the Powerpuff Girls throw the villain in jail, yet the mayor visits her at the end of the episode. In all honesty, can you blame the guy for his thirst? Sedusa is one hot, fake cartoon character.
9. Adventure Time’s Jake Bites Lady Rainicorn By Accident?
Episode: “From Bad To Worse” (Season 3, Episode 13)
Adventure Time is one of those shows, you might not want your kids to be watching in the first place, not only due to the innuendos but because of the overall acid trip vibe of the show. Anyway, in this particular episode, Jake was turned into a zombie and bit his wife Lady Rainicorn, transforming her into a zombie as well. Later, when peace is restored, Jake apologizes for biting his love, in which Lady Rainicorn responds with, “I wanted you to bite me.” Jake’s only response was “Oh.” Now that’s what we’re talking about! We believe every cartoon character deserves a cartoon better half with a little kinkiness in them. Besides, the two do have a total of five children together, so we understand how a magical dog and unicorn-rainbow hybrid could get a little creative in the privacy of their home. Salute to you, Lady Rainicorn! We need more regular human ladies like that in the world.
8. Prison Is Definitely No Place For Yosemite Sam
Episode: “Carrotblanca” (1995)
The 1995 film starring none other than Bugs Bunny, Carrotblanca, is a story of sadness, tragedy and utter debauchery. Actually, we’re joking it was a great mid-90s children film until the end that is, and then our little joke actually becomes a reality for General Pandemonium, who just so happened to be played by Yosemite Sam. Using his notorious wit, Bugs Bunny somehow tricked Sam into locking himself into a local jail. Upon his arrival, he noticed no one was in the cell except for him and burly fellow that just so happened to bat his eyes at Yosemite Sam in a very flirtatious manner. Sam shrieks with terror and the scene ends. All we have to say is… highly disturbing! We don’t know how and or why, but not even the Looney Tunes are above a prison assault joke.
7. The Animaniacs, Dot, Doesn’t Do ‘Fingerprints’
Episode: “Hercule Yakko” [Season 1, Episode 25]
The Animaniacs were notorious for mixing in pop culture into their wacky storylines, and most of those references would fly right over their core viewers’ heads– especially one that involved a very sexual play on words with the late, great Purple One himself, Prince. While out on of the group’s shenanigans, Yakko asks Dot to look for prints. Moments later she returns with the musician in her arms. After Yakko makes it clear that their looking for fingerprints, Dot refuses and then throws the hit-maker out of the nearest window… Dot confused fingerprints and finger-Prince… That would have made for an interesting scene, which would have definitely landed the show in trouble with the FCC. Once again, rest in power to the one and only Prince!
6. Fred & Daphne Do The Deed On Johnny Bravo
Episode: “Bravo Dooby-Doo” [Season 1, Episode 3]
It’s always dope when comic books and cartoons come together for crossovers, and the Johnny Bravo, Scooby Doo crossover was surprisingly well put together. So well put together that this episode revealed a well-known rumor/conspiracy that had spanned generations of Scooby Doo watchers. We still might not 100% know that Scooby and Shaggy are in the back passing the peace pipe around, but their love for snacks sort of lets us know what’s going on. But when it comes to Fred and Daphne… what exactly are they doing when they split away from the group, eh? Well, Johnny Bravo’s horn dog ways led Daphne to want to split up from Velma during the episode, as a clearly frustrated Fred was able to pull her away from the entire group and into the notorious Mystery Machine, where blaring horn honks let all of us know what exactly the two were doing in there. We’ve always had a hunch, just no prove… Finally!
5. Eddy Has A Magazine Stash Under His Bed
Episode: “The Day The Ed Stood Still” [Season 3, Episode 11]
Ed, Edd, & Eddy is nothing but a show about some teenage kids on a quest to score some cash in order to buy jawbreakers for their small and unique clique. What negativity could possibly come from a sweet wholesome show like that? Well, the writers of the show definitely didn’t hold back in regards to that ‘teenage’ part. Think about it, we were all disgusting little punks at one point in time, discovering the greatness of our bodies, and Eddy definitely isn’t shy about his ‘alone time’ stash underneath his bed. Complete with ‘Chix’ and ‘Jiggy Jiggy’ magazines, and a box of tissues, some of which are soiled, we have to say this is a pretty accurate depiction of the average teenage boy’s life. From the looks of Edd’s face, he’s horrified. We’re pretty sure if he would have mentioned those balled up pieces of tissue paper, this scene would have never seen the light of day on Cartoon Network.
4. Cow & Chicken’s Biker Gang Eats Carpet
Episode: “Buffalo Gals,” [Season 2, Episode 20]
Alright, so we’re coming down to the home stretch here and things will become more and more blatantly obvious than some of the other examples here. With that being said, we give you, the carpet-munching Buffalo Gals… Still lost? For those of you that don’t know what carpet-munching is, get with it. This particular episode of Cartoon Network’s Cow & Chicken only aired one time and it’s obvious as the all girl biker gang broke into the home of Cow and Chicken and began to eat their carpet. The very girly, Cow, looks on nervously as the ladies go to town on her precious carpet… Yeah… we understand why this episode never saw the light of day after airing only once.
3. Rocko’s Modern Life Infamous Motel Scene
Episode: “Road Rash” [Season 2, Episode 4]
Rocko’s Modern Life was one of the most notoriously known 90s cartoon shows for its hidden messages and inappropriate innuendos, and the infamous ‘No Tell Motel’ scene might be one of the tell-tale signs that the show was in a lane of its own. The scene begins with Rocko and Heffer needing a place to stay and finding a small motel implied for ‘short visits’ on the side of the desert road. The two approach the creepy desk clerk and let it be known that they need a room for the entire night, the clerk whistles, and says “Ok”, in dramatic fashion, implying that the two are together intimately. As the scene closes, all you can hear is the squeaking of multiple bed springs reassuring that this was a motel infested with sex workers. The ‘Wa-Wa Beds’ sign doesn’t help at all either. With that being said, the episode was pulled from the reruns as Nickelodeon tried to clear their name.
2. Rocko’s Strange Hot Line Job
Episode: “Canned” [Season 1, Episode 8]
That’s right, Rocko’s Modern Life not only made the list twice, but both entries are in the top three of this very inappropriate list. This particular scene hails from the first season of the show, when Rocko is fired from his job at the comic book store, he goes through a plethora of jobs including working as a phone sex operator. If the sign that says, ‘Remember, Be hot, Be Naughty, Be Courteous’ isn’t a big enough hint, then we don’t know what is. What makes the scene an even bigger eye-opener is that Rocko actually gets a call from Mrs. Bighead, the act of their exchange is very obvious, but unfortunately Rocko couldn’t help Mrs. Bighead get her rocks off. Luckily, for the sake of the show and the children, Rocko didn’t last long as an operator.
1. Stimpy & Sven Are In The Closet… Sorta
Episode: “Sven Hoek” [Season 2, Episode 4]
You guys really didn’t think the honors of the most disturbing children’s cartoon scene would go to any other than Ren & Stimpy, right? The show took such a dive off the deep end that it began on children’s programming and ended up on late night television before it was officially canned. Anyway, Ren’s weirdo cousin Sven and Stimpy took such a liking to each other that in the second season, the two ended up hanging out in a closet together. Before anything got too graphic, Stimpy turns to the camera and says: “Hey, this is private.” Sven then slams the closet door and you can hear what the two are doing in there, which isn’t hard to guess, especially when Stimpy says, “I’m a sword swallower.” We understand, your gaping jaw. Let this be a message that you might want to analyze what the youth are watching. You definitely wouldn’t want them asking questions about any cartoon closet scenes, would you?
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