What does almost every man, regardless of race, social status, salary, or education want in his life? A dime piece. Whether or not it’s “within his means” to land a sexy chick, it’s a pretty safe bet that any guy you ask will list a hottie with a body as one of his greatest desires in life, and who can blame him? Even straight women can admit how breathtaking the female form is. Unfortunately, ladies have standards too, and if you’re not a perfect 10 yourself, you may run into some trouble trying to pick up that Instagram-model-looking chick you’ve been eyeing for weeks.
However, there is a real-life cheat code to nabbing the woman of your dreams if you aren’t exactly “Prince Charming” material: being absurdly wealthy. Just head on over to San Francisco where thousands of software engineers are building the future and you’ll probably see more silicone than valley. Ladies love a nerdy man with a thick bank account and stock options. But if you’re not attractive or particularly intelligent there is one more way you can try to nab a beautiful woman, though it’s hardly the easiest route: become a ball player. You could be born with a face like Sloth from The Goonies and the wisdom of Hodor from Game Of Thrones, but if you’re 6’4” and can consistently throw 3s (or even inconsistently throw 3s; just ask Chris Andersen) then you are definitely going to score.
Need proof? Here are 11 of the ugliest dudes in the NBA with the sexiest women by their sides.
11. Milica Marjanovic – Boban Marjanovic
Boban Marjanovic may not be that great to look at, but his skills on the court have earned him a spot on the San Antonio Spurs and, of course, a beautiful wife. Boban and Milica met in their home country, Serbia, and were married in 2014 prior to Boban’s offer to play in the NBA. When asked to play for the Spurs, Boban moved to San Antonio to accept the offer. However, a quick peek at Milica’s Instagram suggests that she decided to stay behind in Serbia with their two sons, and extended family.
10. Faith Rein – Udonis Haslem
Udonis Haslem may be good with rebounds, but he is definitely not the looker in this relationship. However, he and his wife, Faith, have known each other for 14 years, so their bond definitely goes deeper than skin. The two met in college and had something of a Romeo and Juliet relationship: she was from a Virginian suburb… he grew up on the streets of Miami. The two have been through a lot together, including an abortion that they’ve both publicly discussed in an interview with The New York Times. Faith certainly lives up to her name and he rewarded her unwavering loyalty with a ring in 2012. There’s no doubt this couple would be together with or without the NBA.
9. Sarah Dunleavy – Mike Dunleavy
Admittedly, Mike Dunleavy is not the ugliest player in the NBA, he does have some rather Frankenstein-esque qualities that may have otherwise prevented him from nabbing a woman as classically beautiful as Sarah Dunleavy. The Chicago Bulls shooting guard met his beautiful, blonde wife at Duke University where they both received their undergraduate degrees. Mike was eventually drafted in 2002 to the Golden State Warriors and the two were married in 2008. The Dunleavys have two children and are a staple of the Chicago charity circuit.
8. Emilie Kaman – Chris Kaman
Emilie Kaman is one of those girl-next-door type of blondes who could never quite figure out why men are unable to maintain eye contact with her for more than two seconds at a time. Chris Kaman looks a bit like an albino caveman. Obviously, there’s much more to their relationship than looks because you don’t see guys like Chris with women like Emilie on a daily basis. The couple has one son, named “Barrett,” which is long for “Bear.” Yes, you read that right: Chris was so interested in the idea of calling his son “Bear” that they had to figure out a longer name they could abbreviate to “Bear” as a nickname.
7. Adrienne Williams Bosh – Chris Bosh
Adrienne Williams Bosh is known for more than just being married to superstar athlete, Chris Bosh. At only 5′ tall, Adrianne has incredible curves and is known by Miami locals for her voluptuous derriere. She was also rumored to have slept with Lil’ Wayne after the outspoken rapper went on a rant against the Miami Heat, naming Adrienne as a former conquest. That hasn’t stopped Bosh and his leading lady from enjoying their luxurious life in Miami, Fl. Chris sure is lucky he’s such a talented ball player because it’s doubtful he could land a lady like Adrienne Williams on looks alone.
6. Nadia Bonner – Matt Bonner
Matt Bonner is another one of those guys who wasn’t necessarily badly beaten with the ugly stick, but would have no business being with a dime like Nadia if it weren’t for his skills on the court. The couple met through a mutual friend after Bonner was already making waves with the San Antonio Spurs, and “instantly connected” over their passion for music. Nadia claims he’s incredibly smart, and a complete “goofball,” so maybe they would have wound up together even if he wasn’t filthy rich and famous, after all. They currently have two children and are committed to charity, the community, and Matt’s fans.
5. Sharissa Cooper Mullens – Byron Mullens
Unlike many of the ladies on this list, Sharissa Mullens definitely seems to prefer the solitude of marriage to the fast-paced life of a basketball wife. While her husband, Byron Mullens, played for the Los Angeles Clippers, Sharissa stayed home with their son, Baron, rather than chase her man from city to city to keep tabs on his behavior. This might have something to do with the fact that she’s clearly the looker in this relationship, and Byron would be lucky to land another lady like her. Little is known about Sharissa, but in the looks department, she’s definitely a winner.
4. Alla Mozgov – Timofey Mozgov
Being married to a guy that looks a bit like a boiled potato can’t be easy, but Alla Mosgov seems to enjoy every minute of it. Russian center Timofey Mozgov, and his stunning wife Alla tied the knot in 2011, but chose a more non-traditional approach to wedding ceremonies. The two opted to wed in one of Las Vegas’ infamous 24-hour wedding chapels, but unlike many of the couples married before them, the Mozgovs are still going strong and are currently raising their first son. Judging by his Instagram, Timofey is never far from his family and takes them absolutely everywhere with him. Sounds like a recipe for a happy marriage.
3. Jessica Olsson – Dirk Nowitzki
Dirk Nowitzki and Jessica Olsson are the physical embodiment of the phrase “opposites attract.” She’s short, he’s tall. She’s Kenyan, he’s German. She’s breathtaking, he’s…something. The two had not one, but two wedding ceremonies when they took the plunge; one in Germany, and a traditional Kenyan ceremony for Olsson’s family. The couple dressed in traditional Kenyan attire and Nowitzki even presented the Olssons with a cattle dowry. That kind of respect for tradition probably played a pretty big role in Nowitzki’s success in nabbing such a gorgeous bride, and it definitely couldn’t be a bad way to lay a strong foundation for a healthy marriage.
2. Masha Kirilenko – Andrei Kirilenko
Masha Kirilenko is definitely not your average woman. Not only is she exceptionally stunning, but she’s also a Russian recording artist and the founder of Fashion IQ, a popular style website and blog. In fact, when you think about it, it’s pretty amazing Andrei Kirilenko made such an incredible woman fall in love with him, even if he’s the current Commissioner of Basketball in Russia. Yes, that’s right, he’s technically retired, but given how out of place Andrei looks standing next to his flawless wife, an exception had to be made. What’s even crazier – Masha has gone on record telling The New York Post that she grants Andrei one night each year to cheat on her with whomever he pleases – though it’s unclear why he’d want to!
1. Tina Wiseman – Chris Andersen
When you’re as busted as Chris Andersen of the Memphis Grizzlies, almost anyone would be considered out of your league. Luckily for Chris, he’s not playing in a regular league; he’s playing in the NBA. It’s just a hunch, but maybe that’s how he managed to snag his gorgeous wife-to-be, Tina Wiseman. The two were first seen together in Miami in 2013 while Andersen was playing for the Miami Heat, and they’ve been together ever since. Hopefully Andersen continues to treat this cutie right, lest she break up their engagement like his previous fiancé, Brandy Newman. No pressure, Chris.
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