The list of terrifying things that you only have to endure once in your life is exhaustive. Your first day at school, the first time you drop the ball at work, the first time you get a speeding ticket - all nightmarish scenarios that we all go through once and then, happily, never again. Expressing your physical love with a consenting adult for the first time is something that we bet would be top of the list of things you're glad you'll never have to go through again.
No matter how old, good-looking or sensible you are at the time, losing your virginity is a uniquely troubling experience. Wondering if you're doing it correctly, worrying that your partner may not be enjoying it, wishing that you hadn't taken all your tips from Fifty Shades of Grey...there's so much to panic about, it's a wonder any of us ever had sex again. Happily, everybody else was in the same boat as you - even the biggest stars of the adult entertainment industry. Their first times were also their worst times and they're now paid for being brilliant at the old slap and tickle.
10 stars of adult films have offered their accounts of the time they lost their V-cards and the stories make for amazing reading. From disastrous and hilariously unsatisfying encounters, to sweet tales of waiting for their first loves, their stories are surprisingly tame and, well, ordinary.
10 Courtney Cummings
A veteran of dozens of adult films, Courtney was 13 when she decided to have sex for the first time. It was a case of overwhelming curiosity for Cummings - she was, "dating a black guy and wanted to know" if the rumors about African-Americans being well-endowed were true. Her best friend had also lost her virginity and claimed that it was great experience. Courtney was less enthused about her first time; she states that it took place in a cave near a monument in her native West Virginia and was ultimately underwhelming. She remembers feeling, "that was pretty nice, but that’s it?".
9 Brittany Andrews
Brittany Andrews was the tender age of 12 when she lost her cherry and in the midst of a massive crush on black men - and Michael Jackson in particular. After meeting an older black teenager at Summerfest, she took him back to the basement bedroom at the friend's house she was staying at. Because it was the 1980's, Andrews was wearing "150 different layers of clothing" and so she struggled to get undressed. When she finally disrobed, the couple were rudely interrupted when they realized that her girlfriend’s two brothers were underneath the bed. The mortified Andrews put "every layer of clothing was back on in like 2.3 seconds" as her partner chased the youngsters away. The couple were spooked enough to call it a night after that, with the unchivalrous gentleman reportedly never calling young Brittany again afterwards.
8 Aurora Snow
The tale of how Aurora Snow lost her virginity is one that plays out amongst teens throughout the United States. Aurora herself describes the location as being totally cliche - it was at the drive-in with her high-school sweetheart. Aurora admits that she was the one to initiate sex during a make-out session, explaining that she was used to seeing sex all around her in the movies and on TV, and was naturally curious to know what it felt like. Touchingly, she is glad that her first time was with her first love, claiming that, like most girls her age, she wanted her partner to be somebody she felt comfortable with. Aurora says today, "I wasn’t promiscuous, despite my later career choice. I was a perfectly average teen".
7 Dana Vespoli
Dana lost her virginity when she was 16 and her boyfriend, also a virgin, 17. She confesses that she found the whole experience overwhelming, far different from the make-out sessions that she was uber-enthusiastic about. Indeed, Dana sounds reasonably stoical about the whole experience today, claiming that it "reminded me of when you work through a tight muscle with a massage therapist—it hurts, but you have to get through it". While the 42-year old sounds positively British in her determination to Keep Calm And Carry On through the whole ordeal, she is proud of remembering to use protection and to get through it with her emotions intact. The slightly mechanical nature of her first time didn't dampen Dana's ardor any.
6 Lizzy Borden
Former wrestler and adult film veteran, Lizzy Borden has sage advice for those who feel that peer pressure may be pushing them into having sex earlier than they feel comfortable with. In her own words, Lizzy states, "my first time was when I was 17. I was going to be 18, it was right before my birthday. I didn’t want to be a virgin and be 18. I had a boyfriend. Instead of waiting to be ready, I wanted to have sex. It was his first time too, so it was pretty weird. It was not sexual or romantic or fun. It was stressful. I was not comfortable. That’s why now in my personal life I have limits and only do what I am comfortable with. I should’ve never pushed myself because I wasn’t ready and you have to be ready for sex.” Wise words and a reminder that your first time is infinitely more satisfying when you know you're ready for it.
5 Jessica Drake
4 Teagan Presley
Teagan Presley was 17 when she lost her virginity and woefully inexperienced about anything of a sexual nature. She admits to only going along with the idea to please er high-school boyfriend, which is never a good basis for a satisfactory sex life. The teenage Teagan was stressed out by the whole experience and seemed to lose her confidence in her own ability, stating that "it wasn’t until I got into adult that I started to learn what I was doing." However, her relative lack of experience meant that Teagan was destined to become an adult performer who would learn the ropes in front of the harsh glare of the lens.
3 Mary Carey
The story of Mary Carey's first time is one of those excruciating stories that you bound up to people at parties for in an attempt to overhear - until you realize that they're gossiping about you. Mary was 16 and at a house party full of jocks, including her then boyfriend of 3 months. Spurned in her requests for a condom, she was advised by several drunken idiots to use Saran Wrap instead, a name that would haunt young Mary: "later the rumour was that I’d had sex with Saran Wrap". Tragically, the impromptu prophylactic wasn't the low-point of the night - Mary's boyfriend was underwhelming in the Misters department; "I remember thinking it was really small ... the size of a finger". We thought size didn't matter, Mary?
2 Joanna Angel
Joanna Angel was a stereotypically awkward teenager when Cupid's Bow of Lust struck for the first time. As a self-confessed geeky 19-year, she felt utterly unattractive - "I had terrible skin and short hair and wore nothing but cargo pants and dirty T-shirts." Joanna's self-worth crept up a few dials when a 'hot guy in a band' kept firing with her, to her astonishment. After making out a few times, Joanna eventually invited the lucky Band Guy to stay over for the first time. "It was really awkward," said Joanna. "I wasn’t sure what to do. It felt good, but I certainly didn’t have an orgasm or anything like that. I think it lasted for all of, like, two minutes".
1 Ron Jeremy
Ron Jeremy is perhaps the first to admit that he isn't the best-looking guy in the world. However, he is one of the most famous names in the adult industry, which is possibly why he looks so cheerful in literally every picture of him on Google. However, even the legend that is Ron has an embarrassing story to tell about the night he lost his virginity, making the rookie mistake of putting his protection on backwards: "It wouldn’t go on at first, the lubricated side was against me, not against her". Ron can be forgiven for this, given he was only 15 at the time, but his efforts at love-making for the first time remain distinctly comical.