Okay, here’s the deal. Guys can be considered duds in bed if they don’t have ample enough equipment. Like one really hot Hollywood babe said of her ex, she could not “feel” anything. Equipment aside, guys are duds in girls’ eyes if they are selfish (e.g., one male star looking at himself in the mirror all the time while doing the dirty), or if they are bumbling or bashful or unsure.
Now, let us move on to the girls. One mega-big Hollywood actress is described as a selfish princess in the sack. Another big name in the business apparently just kisses and kisses and then kisses some more. And what about the hot singer whose ex-husband has said he had to think of other women while making love to her. Ouch, that’s surely gotta hurt. Other seemingly hot babes are described as just plain old “boring”. This list will take a look at 10 hot Hollywood stars who, well, reportedly, just are not deemed as being so hot in bed. Some will definitely shock you, while some you might have slightly expected.
10. Jennifer Aniston
She first came into our lives as a run-away bride in the first episode of Friends. After TV stardom, she moved on to make movies, sometimes as with The Break Up and Vince Vaughn, hooking up with her leading men. Hollywood’s perennial girl next door is described by some as a spoiled little princess in bed. Star Magazine has said she is reportedly a lay back and take it kind of girl. Ouch. And remember a while back when Brad Pitt was calling his marriage to Jen “boring”. Well, he actually said that his life was boring and the marriage contributed to it. But we think it amounts to the same thing. Even if he tried to take it all back.
9. Nick Lachey
This is another real “ouch” moment. Jessica Simpson was married to Nick Lachey from 2002 through 2006. The girl who is on just about every hot Hollywood lover list, has reportedly called Lachey a dud in bed. The reason? Well, let’s try to be diplomatic and say that she has said that his equipment was so economical that she didn’t feel anything. That’s got to hurt a guy where he lives. The 98 Degrees singer-songwriter moved on, marrying television personality Vanessa Minnillo. They have recently welcomed their second child. Maybe Jess was just too hot for Lachey to handle. John Mayer has called Simpson “sexual napalm”.
8. Hugh Hefner
Since the 1950’s Hef has been selling us the Playboy lifestyle. He is put out there as something of a sex god, a sexual guru who beds and satisfies a bevy of beautiful Bunnies. Maybe not. Kendra Wilkinson, the former glamour model and Bunny, was recruited by Hef when she was all of 18 (and he was 79) and starred in The Girls Next Store, the reality show about life at the Playboy Mansion. She has gone very public in saying that sex with him was a chore and that she had to get drunk to get through it. And good ole Hef’s wife Crystal Harris? She has told Howard Stern that sex with the 80-something Hefner lasts around 2 seconds.
7. Jesse James
What can you possibly say about a man who cheats on the likes of Sandra Bullock, with tattoo artist Kat Von D, who then goes on to let the world know that Kat is better in bed than Sandra? Well, a few choice words come to mind, but we won’t judge. Apparently the bad biker West Coast Choppers CEO is a selfish lover who only thinks of himself. Now, why does that not surprise us? And didn’t our Jesse go on to cheat on Kat, too? Reports were that she was losing her Jesse tat and that she said she deserved to be told “I told you so.” We wonder if Sandra called? James has admitted to “poor judgment”. Well, we think that’s one way of putting it.
6. Taylor Swift
Star Magazine included Taylor (as well as Jennifer Aniston) in their 2013 Valentine’s edition of the Best and Worst Celebrity Lovers. So, what’s the problem with the young blonde singer/songwriter? She’s into kissing. While that’s not really a bad thing, apparently she doesn’t really seem inclined to move on to bigger and better things (if you know what we mean). The magazine even went on to say that was probably why she had gone through so many men. They tend to move on. Apparently Swift is the queen of break up songs, with hits such as “Begin Again”. Maybe now we know why.
5. Katy Perry
The quirky American singer/songwriter was married to English funnyman Russell Brand, from 2010 through 2012. Apparently, Brand has not been particular chivalrous when it comes to discussing their sex life. The man who texted Perry saying he wanted a divorce, has joked about it in his act. He has said when he and Perry were making love, he had to constantly think of other people. Anybody other than her. Ouch. Anyway, not everyone is enthusiastic about Brand’s lovemaking. According to Georgina Baillie, Brand is lacking in that department. But then again, he did announce the fact they had slept together on his radio show and left obscene messages on her grandfather’s (English actor Andrew Sachs) voicemail. The whole mess was dubbed “Sachsgate” (think “Sexgate”) in the British press.
4. Bradley Cooper
Poor Bradley Cooper. No less than Jennifer Lawrence has called him a lousy kisser. Well, actually, she has said he was a wet kisser during the filming of their liplock for the movie, Silver Lining Playbook. And according to Celebitchy, he is reported to be dull in the sack. Seems that he also has one so-called romantic technique: He babbles on at girls in French, thinking it is a turn on. Somebody made a crack that it was like being in bed with Pepe Le Pew. The star of American Sniper was dubbed “the Sexiest Man Alive” by People Magazine in 2011. Has anybody asked Jennifer what she thinks?
3. Colin Farrell
Some same the Irish heart throb is utterly seductive on the screen. And, he certainly gets around. He’s been linked with the likes of Britney Spears, Demi Moore and (according to a list she reportedly made during a drunken night out), Lindsay Lohan. With all of those women under his belt, or whatever, what then are we to make of a woman who was reportedly Woody Allen’s au pair, who compared him to Mickey Mouse in bed. Now, no matter what we do with that image, we can’t come up with anything positive. Colin has said that filming love scenes with his beautiful co-stars is great, but that it gets uncomfortable when clothes start peeling off. A Mickey Mouse moment, perhaps.
Rappers have this image. Bad boy sex machines just about sums it up, we think. But rappers like Eminem are said to be selfish lovers. Pusha T is said to have really bad breath (with $15 million in the bank he can’t afford breath mints?). 50 Cent is said so totally not packing when it comes to his equipment. Then we come to Canadian rapper Drake. He had a thing with non other than Rihanna. Well, apparently he too has an excess of the selfish gene. Rumor has it that he is fond of watching his performance in mirror. That’s called so totally not being in the moment and not connected to his partner. But, very bad boy and in your face, we think. We wonder if there’s a sex tape lying around somewhere.
1. John Mayer
John Mayer has been through lots and lots of women. Lots. One of them was Jennifer Aniston. She has said he was a dud in bed. But check out her entry above before deciding on that one. Currently with Russell Brand’s ex, Katy Perry (also see above), he has dissed another one of his exes, none other than Taylor Swift (yes, see above). The “Your Body is a Wonderland” singer seems to make a habit of hanging out with women who may or may not be lacking in the lovemaking department. And then there was his ex Jessica Simpson, whom he called “sexual napalm”. We think that is a good thing (at a distance). No less than The National Enquirer has reported that Mayer is busy cheating on Perry. And what of Taylor Swift? She reportedly feels bullied by Mayer and Perry. Perhaps she’ll write a song about it.
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