Being a celebrity definitely has its perks; from fame and money, to easy access to exclusive clubs and restaurants, to having people do pretty much everything for you. And when we say pretty much everything, we mean EVERYTHING. You already know celebrities have assistants, agents, drivers, personal trainers and chefs, which is already tons of people working for them, but there are even more behind the scenes assistants you probably don’t know about.
When celebs show up to make appearances, they come to the party with a crew in tow. Lady Gaga made a “Haus of Gaga”, which she fondly calls her 80 member entourage. EIGHTY PEOPLE. Could you imagine going anywhere and bringing 80 people with you? How does she even have enough work for them all to do?
Now, not all celebrities have an 80 person entourage, in fact that’s pretty excessive, even for celebrities, but most of them do have assistants for really weird jobs. Some of these jobs entail doing things that normal people never think twice about, let alone hiring another person to take care of them. I guess when you have more money than you know what to do with you spend it however you can… at least they’re creating some jobs. Check out the list of these crazy entourage jobs and see if you have what it takes to work for a celebrity.
10. Weed Roller
There’s no secret that Snopp Dogg loves weed, so it doesn’t seem too far fetched that he’d have an assistant dedicated solely to procuring and rolling his weed. How did anyone even apply for this position? On the application what skills and qualifications did they list – I’ve been smoking for 10 years? Talk about a job with no mobility, this definitely isn’t going to lead to anything with a higher salary. Although, if you’re getting paid solely for rolling joints, I guess there isn’t much to complain about. Except you better not slip up.
9. Shoe and Jewelry Guard
This one isn’t too surprising either; it just sounds ridiculous. Celebs have tons and tons of clothes, shoes and accessories. And not just cheap pieces from Target, they have shirts worth more than average pay-checks, so of course they treat their wardrobe like an investment.
People are always trying to break into celebrities’ homes in order to get their hands on some of these exclusive designer pieces, so it makes sense that celebs would pay someone to guard their expensive things. Last year, someone successfully broke into Swaggy P’s (Nick Young, a basketball star engaged to Iggy Azalea) and stole his Red Octobers. For those of you who don’t know what those are, they’re the all red shoes designed by Kanye West that cost $5,000 a pair. After this incident Swaggy P jumped on the shoe and jewelry guard bandwagon with Nelly and J-Lo, and hired someone to guard his more than 500 pairs of shoes.
8. Umbrella Holder
Someone’s stuck out in the rain, but it sure isn’t a celebrity. Imagine getting soaking wet because you’re too busy holding an umbrella for someone else. That’s what this job is. Whenever it’s raining, P. Diddy calls up his assistant and tells him to come hold his umbrella so he can live his life with his hands free.
Fonzworth Bentley is P. Diddy’s premiere umbrella holder, which is a lame job to start with and like all these other weird celebrity assistant jobs, seems to have no mobility. Except Bentley lucked out. He was such a great umbrella holder that he’s known around celeb circles and has appeared in rap music videos and is now kind of famous himself. Talk about rags to riches. This is probably what all these weird celebrity assistants are aspiring for.
7. Gum Giver
I’m sure people have asked you if you have gum before. If you do, you take it out of the pack and toss it over, but imagine taking it a step farther and actually unwrapping it and placing it in someone else’s mouth. That’s what this assistant does. Getting a pack of gum must be too time consuming for Cee Lo Green to stop doing whatever he’s doing.
What has he even been up to lately? He graces this list with some ridiculous assistants, but he hasn’t been producing much. Hopefully he doesn’t run out of money or else he’ll have to start getting gum for himself!
6. Cup Holder
No, not the one in your car. This is a physical person’s job. How demeaning, to have the same job as a car amenity. It apparently isn’t that weird of a star to demand someone to hold their cup since both Mariah Carey and Justin Bieber have one. Then again, they’re both known to be pretty big divas.
Carey’s cup holder is required to not only hold her drink cups, but also raise the cup to her mouth so she can drink out of it… That seems like it would cause a lot more problems than it’s worth. Imagine trying to drink from a cup someone else is holding without it spilling all down the front of your shirt. In Bieber’s case, he rolled up to an SNL shoot with an assistant to hold his pizza and another one to hold his drink. He’s probably too busy putting his hands in his hair to hold anything else.
5. Sweat Wiper
Carey and Green grace the list again. This time, with a sweat wiper. The sweat wiping assistants to these stars have to carry a towel around with them at all times and wipe the sweat off the brow of the star. Since Carey has someone to hold her drink and do pretty much everything else for her, how does she do enough to sweat? Green just seems like a sweaty man so his assistant probably has a lot of work to do. Imagine having to do this while they’re working out! Hopefully this assistant gets paid a lot.
4. Battery Changer
You know when you’re out somewhere and your phone dies and there’s no where to charge it? That’s pretty frustrating and I guess this assistant would probably also deal with that problem, but Ludacris has an assistant to help him with all his battery-changing needs, primarily for his GameBoy. He must be playing that thing all the time for him to need an assistant to carry around batteries and replace them while they’re out and about. He should probably be working more if he’s spending this much time on his toy.
3. Trip Catcher
The diva strikes again! This assistant job is definitely one of the weirdest. Carey has someone to walk backward in front of her to catch her if she trips. The poor person who’s walking backward probably trips way more than Carey! Imagine accidentally dropping her one time instead of catching her; she seems like she’d have a lot of fury. The real question is: how can you be clumsy enough to actually need a person to do this for you?
2. Toilet Paper Carrier
This one is weird, but I can see where she’s coming from. You know when you go to a bathroom somewhere public? They usually have really bad, cheap toilet paper, which, yeah, is annoying, but it doesn’t warrant carrying your own with you or hiring someone else to do it for you! How embarrassing to have to tell people your job is carrying toilet paper around for a celebrity. This one really emphasizes how big of a diva Carey is because who else would even think of this?
1. Nipple Squeezer
The icing on the cake of weird jobs. And more than one star has a nipple squeezing assistant too, so maybe it’s just weird to us common folk. Pink and J-Lo both have a nipple squeezer and both agree that it’s one of their most important assistants.
Pink uses hers every time before she goes on stage. She says that having her nipples squeezed (by the same person) helps her get amped up for the show and put on a great performance. J-Lo uses hers less frequently. Most notably was during the shoot of her “Jenny From the Block” music video. In between filming she had her nipple squeezing assistant do her job so that her nipples would “perfectly show through” her outfit changes.
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