Brangelina, 11-ish years, one of the greatest, most attractive power couples of history, died on September 19, 2016. The causes of death include a surprising number of things, such as possible child abuse allegations after Pitt "lunged" at their son (although the FBI is not likely to proceed any further), Pitt relieving himself on a tarmac, alcohol, Jolie’s ambitions with the UN, and well... Marion Cotillard. In other words, disorderly conduct and/or irreconcilable differences.
If you are not up to date on perhaps the most relevant pieces of news to tear our world apart in the past week, well, you should rethink your life choices. To continue, it is with great sadness that we acknowledge the recently departed power couple, Brangelina. Know that it is okay to shed a tear; who will we be able to look up to as an example of great love? Who will we flock over? We know what you are thinking; surely it cannot be the nice-but-kind-of-boring Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively, although that is looking increasingly more likely… If you weren’t crying before, surely you are now.
While Pitt may not be able to have Angelina, there are a number of Hollywood women who would love to have a piece of Pitt. Perhaps the next power couple is right down below. Without further ado, here are 15 of Hollywood’s hottest women who, as we said, want a piece of Pitt.
15 Margot Robbie
14 Amber Heard
Alright, let’s be honest: we don’t know if Amber Heard is ready for love again and if she would at all be interested in Brad Pitt. That said, it is possible given that she seems to have a thing for Hollywood’s leading men, as she is now divorced from Johnny Depp in the spectacle that was their relationship (she now also has earned herself the title of being his sloppy seconds). In all fairness, Heard is also known for her roles in Pineapple Express and 2015’s The Danish Girl. But we digress.
13 Lupita Nyong'o
12 Marion Cotillard
It had been speculated that the beautiful French actress Marion Cotillard, known for roles in Inception and The Dark Knight Rises, was responsible for the demise of Brangelina (originally, that is - that was before reports of child abuse surfaced regarding Brad Pitt). If you’re out of the loop, the media had been speculating for some time that Pitt and Cotillard were having an affair while on the set of the film Allied. This certainly wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility given Pitt’s past history with such matters - he met Jolie on set and he also has a long history of dating other co-stars before this as well. The rumours got so out of hand, however, that it was even speculated that Cotillard, who is in a relationship with another man, was carrying Pitt’s baby.
11 Jennifer Aniston
10 Demi Moore
9 Lara Marsden, Brad's On-Set Assistant
8 Juliette Lewis
7 Britney Spears
6 Kendall Jenner
5 Jordin Sparks
It wasn’t that long ago (in 2014, in fact) that Jordin Sparks, former American Idol winner, announced her crush on Brad Pitt. To clarify, Sparks would have been nearly 25 or so years old at the time, giving a little more weight to her feelings then, let’s say, 20-year-old Kendall Jenner. In other words, we have to assume that her feelings should be taken a little bit more seriously. Indeed, she had been crushing on Pitt for almost ten years, which sounds like pretty serious stuff. She even recalled having wristbands with "Mrs. Pitt" written on them.
4 Selena Gomez
3 Gwyneth Paltrow
2 Dax Shepard
1 Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift is a straight up beast. Therefore, Brad Pitt is obviously her next kill, possibly her biggest and burliest one to date. Indeed, the two would surely “break the Internet” if they were ever to give in to their animal instincts. Given that Swift has been able to pick through nearly all of Hollywood’s men, from movie stars to musicians to pop stars, Pitt's time has come. Blood will be shed. He will be conquered. After all, she even has a song titled “Til Brad Pitt Comes Along,” so what more proof do you need? While Pitt usually dates actresses, there is obviously something very magnetic about Swift that has every man in Hollywood wanting to take her home. Therefore, let’s expect that Pitt will be lining up at Swift’s doorstep to do the same, even if the relationship is just as swift as all the others.
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